Ten To Midnight
Disclaimer: If I owned it, I would have thrown a ticker tape parade by now.
A/N: I'm still alive! Yahoo! I've been working on this forever now. I'm fairly indecisive right now, it seems, so I hope you like what I've come up with here. I've just had a baby so I'm sorry if it's not up to par. Happy reading and Happy New Year!!
Entering her and Danny's new apartment after a grueling shift, Lindsay was greeted with an envelope propped up on the table by the door. It was a plain white envelope, just big enough to hold a business letter. On the front, was her name messily scribbled in silver ink. Under her name was the instruction, "just read it". Quickly, she she her purse, jacket and shoes. Once that was done, she headed over to the couch and tore open the envelope allowing the neatly folded paper inside to gently fall into her lap. Following the envelopes instructions, she began to read.
Montana-
I have so many things I want to say to you. So many apologies that you deserve from me. I have so many hopes and dreams for us; for all three of us. I also have so many promises I want to make to you. I want to make promises that I'm going to keep this time. Funny, I have so many things I want to say, but I can't find the words to say them to you. Maybe I can say everything in a letter.
I'm sorry. I love you and I'm so sorry that it took almost losing you to realize that. Somewhere along the way, things got so messed up and, I lost sight of what was really important. I let my misplaced sense of guilt take over my entire being. I thought that by keeping you away from me, I could prevent you from getting hurt when I did something stupid. Instead of keeping you from being hurt, I ended up hurting you more than I ever thought possible. I'm sorry for that.
It's New Years Eve tonight. Next year, we won't be an 'us' anymore, but a family. You, me and our child. When you first told me you were pregnant, I was scared. I hadn't ever imagined myself as a father and the thought of it scared me shitless. I'm still scared,but I'm so excited. A baby takes a lot of time and work, I know that; but I also know that together, we can do this. I promise never to take you for granted again. I promise that when times get tough, I won't push you away. I promise to love and respect you for the rest of my life.
You truly are my reason for living, Lindsay Monroe. I'm not sure what the hell I did to get so damn lucky to have someone as wonderful as you in my life, but I think God everyday for you. I know this would be more romantic if I were saying these words instead of writing them, but I'm not an eloquent speaker like Hawkes, or a hopeless romantic like Stella.
I'm in the spare bedroom and I have something to show you. Now, wipe your eyes, stop crying and come find me.
All my love,
Danny
She read the letter again, before attempting to stop crying and going into the spare room. Danny hadn't let her go in there in almost a week, and she wondered what in the world he was up to in there. It seemed like every time she turned around; Flack, Hawkes, Adam, Mac and even Sid were over there working on Danny's secret project. Now that she saw what he'd done, she was glad that no one had spilled the beans to her and that Danny had successfully kept her away from the room. All she'd been able to wheedle out of him was that it was a surprise and she'd like what he did when she saw it.
Slowly, she opened the door and when the room came into view, Lindsay was certain her heart stopped beating.
"Oh Danny," was all she could get out before she choked on a sob and, just like that, the tears began to fall again. She sure seemed to be crying a lot more often these days.
"You like it," he asked as he slowly got up from the floor and made his way towards her, gathering her in his arms and just holding her, as he gently stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. All the while, he whispered loving phrases, most of which she'd come to understand, in Italian.
"It's beautiful," she whispered, still in shock by the sight in front of her. This was definitely the best surprise ever. The walls had been painted a pale green, and taking up the far wall of the room was a mural. The mural, a child's drawing of an apple tree in a play ground surrounded by a fence with a house and mountain range in the background looked awful familiar to Lindsay. It was a fairly simple drawing, something an eight-year old could do, but it was the faces of the children in the picture that triggered her memory.
"How...how...how did...how did you, I mean..." she stammered, desperately trying to string together a coherent sentence in the midst of a tsunami of emotion.
"How did I get a hold of that," he chuckled at her speechlessness.
Mutely, she nodded. The drawing had been of her and her brothers, Todd and Andrew. She had drawn the picture just a few months before Todd died of cancer.
"Your Dad."
"My Dad? You called my Dad?"
"Yeah. I remembered seeing the picture when I met him. He told me how much that picture meant to you, so I called and asked him if I could have it turned into a mural for the baby's room. It took almost a week, but the room is ready now. All that is left to do is add some furniture and a baby."
Still struck silent, Lindsay took a good look at her surroundings. She realized that all the trim had been repainted, the closet and bedroom doors given a fresh stain. The hardwood floors beneath her feet had even been refinished!
"How did you get all this done without me noticing?"
"I relied a lot on Stella to keep you busy. Once everything had been stained, refinished, and the mural delivered; it was just a matter of keeping you out of the room until now."
"Wow. I can't believe you actually talked to my Dad and things were civil," she said half jokingly.
"Well, he did tell me that if I ever hurt you again, he'd come out here and kill me himself. After that, the conversation was pretty nice," he admitted sheepishly.
Lindsay wasn't surprised. Peter Monroe was a gigantic moose of a man who didn't take too well to his only daughter being hurt. She hadn't meant to tell him what Danny did, she was a grown woman who could take care of herself after all, but he'd called her during an incredibly emotional moment and, in his fatherly way, had gotten the story out of her.
"So, there was more to the conversation than just the picture?"
"Yeah. You read the letter," he gestured to the paper still clutched in her hand.
"I did," she acknowledged the same piece of paper.
"And?"
"And, I think, what's done is done. I know you're sorry Danny, so am I. I also know that if you could go back and change things,you would. So would I. We can't go back though," she paused to give him a chance to jump in if he wanted to. When he remained silent, she took that as a cue to continue. "What we can do though, is to move forward. It won't always be easy, but if we work at it, we can do it."
"I'm glad you said that. Listen, there's something I want to ask you," he stepped forward and took her hands as the crowd outside began the count down to a new year and, hopefully, a fresh start.
Ten...
"What is it?"
Nine...
"I was just wondering if..."
Eight...
"Yeah?"
Seven...
"Well, I was thinking that maybe, if you wanted to, we could..." he hated how her mere presence could turn him into a bumbling, love struck idiot ,in less than two seconds.
Six...
"If we could what," she had a vague idea what he was asking, and this time, she was ready to say yes.
Five...
"You know I love you, right?" This wasn't coming out near as smoothly as he'd planned.
Four...
"I know you do. I love you too," his nervousness was absolutely the most adorable thing she'd ever seen.
Three...
"Good. Lindsay Monroe, this year I really want, I really want..."
Two...
"You want what?"
One...
"I want you to marry me and be my wife! For the rest of my life, I want your face to the be the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning, and the last thing I see when I go to sleep at night. I never want to come home and not have your smell follow me everywhere. I want your voice to be the first thing I hear in the morning and the last thing I hear at night. I want to be with you and only you for the rest of my life, and I want the rest of my life to start as soon as possible! Will you marry me?" There, he'd said it. Now he had to wait for her answer. He didn't have to wait long.
"Yes," she drew his body into hers and their lips met hungrily in a New Year's kiss.
Happy New Year!