Like Joker and Harley Quinn
Disclaimer: I don't make cool characters...I just kind of toggle with them in my own twisted stories...so hell no! I don't own Kick-Ass! ...It's just too 'kick-ass' for me to own...*cries*
Mindy stealthily crept away from the party into the suspicious room. She walked in and watched her back; she smiled remembering her first encounter with Dave when she forgot to check her six and her dad reminded her.
She examined the surprisingly spacious room. Diverse ornaments hung on the wall, and floor mats and cushions scattered the floor. She stepped farther into the room, she knew that Red Mist or The Motherfucker had to still be lurking around the city.
Crazy doesn't just stop, and Chris was crazy. She knew Chris was crazy, she couldn't comprehend why Marcus would believe him for a second and go to the "charity ball" Chris was holding, drag her along in a fancy dress nonetheless.
She approached a bare wall and tapped at certain angles, it was hollow. She applied a small amount of pressure and the door cracked open. Mindy grinned, pushing the door open, checking her back, and stepped in. Motion detector lights flicked on farther into the room, on a wall was the costume of Red Mist.
"Called it." Mindy breathed.
She snapped a picture and hurried out of the room. She carefully closed the doors and she heard expensive leather shoes tapping the marble floor, he cleared his throat.
Mindy was frozen for a millisecond in fear, slowly turning mostly expecting Marcus to be there to reprimand her.
"Well, well Mindy."
She sighed, "Chris."
"Hnn." he stuffed his hands in his pockets and approached nonchalantly, with a whoosh the only exit in the room snapped shut. Mindy rolled her eyes and pulled her switchblade out, he smiled, "You know, I've always wondered where you pull all your weapons from."
He gestured to her red gown, a slit from her waist to the floor exposed her left leg, it clung to her curves and was strapless, where she stored the blade was a magic trick all in itself.
"What do you want?" she growled.
He looked at her with a cocky smirk, "Isn't it obvious?"
"How about you clear the air, Red Mist, The Motherfucker, or whatever douche names you came up with." she spat.
He laughed, "I only fuck mothers when they beg. Besides, I thought you were smarter than that, Hit Girl. Although," he eyed her up and down, "You've filled out, so maybe that's Hit Woman?"
Mindy rolled her eyes, "Shut up."
They had been circling each other around the room, Mindy with her blade, Chris with his hands in his pockets. He took a step forward, Mindy exhaled, "Don't move any closer, what do you want?"
He shrugged, "Like I said, isn't it obvious?"
He took another step, not to back down from a challenge like a coward, she stepped forward too, "I'm not in the mood for games, D'Amico."
Chris stood still, he ran a hand though his hair, and smirked at her, "It's pretty obvious that what I want, is…you." he charged her with surprising speed and she attempted to dodge him but he had her in a vice grip.
She wriggled enough, blade still in hand, she snarled, "Let me go! You douche bag!"
He laughed and didn't relent, she tried to kick him, but he moved before impact, "You know I could kill you." she threatened, and he gave her a knowing look, "Oh yes, with your little blade."
She readied her blade at a kill point, "Do it," he said and shook her, "Don't hesitate, what would Daddy want? Or Marcus?" she gripped the knife tighter at the mention of her father, but loosened the grip at the mention of Marcus, he wouldn't want her to do that, he was probably pissed that she ran off in the first place.
Mindy lowered her blade, and Chris smirked, "Good, I mean that would look pretty bad, the host of a charity ball stabbed to death in his home."
"Shut up!" she glared, "Let go, now."
Chris pulled the blade from her hand and tossed it aside. "Nah." She wriggled and attempted to fight him, but he restrained her, "Look at you! The Hit Girl! Not even hitting me!" he taunted.
He squeezed her body flush against his, her curves aligning against him, a gasp escaped her mouth. He nuzzled her neck, "Didn't know you'd be so responsive."
She wriggled some more, and he groaned as she rubbed against him, "Okay stop, I get it. This is such a funny joke, hah hah." she gasped again when he began to kiss her neck, "Chris!"
He grunted, "Why don't you call me Red Mist? Or The Motherfucker? You know, my douche aliases?" her hands made their way up to his shoulders and started to push him, but ended up pulling him back when he reached a sensitive spot.
"Wh-what are you doing? STOP." Chris let go and turned away, he ran a hand through his hair as he listened to Mindy's breathing return to normal.
"You've got some nerve, fucktard!"
Chris straightened, and she paused, "Just wait 'til Dave finds out, we're going to kick your ass!"
He turned to her with a challenging look, "Really? Dave? You said you could kill me, but you didn't. So why don't you just kick my ass right now, by yourself?"
She crossed her arms, succeeding in squishing her breasts, "It'll be fun tag-teaming."
Chris diverted his gaze from her chest, "Isn't he too busy to play trivial games like 'Cops and Robbers'?"
"And you aren't?" she smirked.
He shrugged and turned, he began walking away when she called out to him, "Where do you think you're going? Douche'Ico! Get back here!"
Within a second they were flush against each other once more, and he had Mindy pressed up against the wall. She let out the breath she was holding and he breathed against her neck. Her hands were at his shoulders and his hands gripped her waist, "Well, I'm here. What are you going to do about it?"
He began kissing his way up her neck, and he planted a kiss on her mouth, her eyes widened in surprise. She complied after a few minutes, Mindy trailed her hands up to his hair, and pulled him even closer. After a while, he ran his tongue against her lips, before she agreed he jammed his tongue through, she almost bit him but didn't.
As their tongues battled, he let his hand slide over her creamy exposed thigh. She stopped and shoved his hand away. Chris watched her, before she pushed him onto one of his chairs.
"If that's how you want to play.." she said as she straddled him, he groaned as she rested on his strained erection. Mindy pulled him in for a kiss, and Chris started to slide his hand up her thigh, he reached a little past the edge of the slit before she swatted his hand again.
"No touching." she smirked, and Chris growled. His knuckles whitened at their grip on the arm rests, she gripped his hair and tugged him into a kiss. Before long her hands trailed to his chest, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. Her hands exposed his lean chest, he growled when she shifted her weight, he couldn't take it anymore.
He grabbed her by the thighs and reversed their positions on the cushions. He held her in place with a hand on either side of her waist. Mindy's breathing was ragged from the energy exerted, but as she was about to pull him into another tongue session, he stood up.
He rubbed his face and looked at his handiwork, a disheveled Mindy, their lips puffy. She looked up at him with a mix of confusion, and he could guess she was thinking, what the fuck man.
Chris buttoned his shirt and straightened his tie, before turning away from Mindy and thinking of something to kill his boner. The thought of his dad in that leopard Speedo at the beach usually did the trick, it worked. He turned back to Mindy and she had straightened herself and retrieved her switch blade.
She approached him, pulled him into a deep kiss and he couldn't resist but flick his tongue in, she pulled away as quickly as they started and slapped him hard.
He rubbed his cheek and looked at her, she was fuming, "What's up your ass?"
"Oh fuck you. If anyone has anything up their ass, it's you. Why the hell would you do that?" he fixed himself once more, smoothing his hair back with style, "Do what? Do you mean why would we do that?"
She shoved him against the wall, and he smirked, "Listen Mindy, if you want to continue this, we can, later. But I have to get back to my party before people notice I'm gone." he winked, and she stood in his way, "You didn't answer me. Don't be a dick, you don't just rub up against your enemies!
"Yeah Hit Girl, you don't just rub up against your enemies." he mimicked, and she pressed him against the wall, "Don't even, you're still on my hit list, Red Mist, Cocksucker, whatever your name is. So why were you feeling me up?!"
He snorted, "You're so punny. And you shouldn't be asking me those questions, I mean you did your own fair share of feeling me up." she tried a new tactic, she pressed herself against him and trailed her way up his chest, his breath paused.
She smiled, "Oh so this is just a quick release to you?"
He blinked, and some of his original innocence sparked, he sounded like the Chris prior to Kick Ass, the one trying to get his dad's approval, "No no! It's not like that!"
"Right.." she pecked him on the lips. His cockiness returned, "So, you want to finish this later or what? I'm a busy man."
She stepped back and shook her head, "No way!" she said half-heartedly.
Chris had no doubt she was lying, and shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged, "Sure, I mean, whatever you say." he walked away and Mindy stopped him, "What?"
He turned back and raised his hands in defense, "I mean, whatever floats your boat. Give it a bit, you'll want me Mindy." he turned and walked to the exit, a smirk plastered to his face as she called out, "I doubt that!"
He rolled his eyes and opened the door, Chris flashed a wink and walked away, he managed to catch her blush. 'Women,' he thought, 'You can always keep them guessing.'
Mindy heaved a sigh and walked out of the door and crept to an inconspicuous spot in the crowd, praying Marcus didn't notice her. She was tapped on the shoulder, and Marcus gave her a look, "Mindy."
She smiled sweetly up at him, "Marcus."
He rubbed his face, and she whispered, "I have proof this time."
"Right." She pulled out her phone and showed him the costume, he sighed, "We'll talk about this later."
Just then Chris took a stand at the podium, a glass was in his hand, "This is a great turnout! The reservation list tells me we have at least three hundred people here tonight. So by tomorrow I will have donated three hundred thousand dollars to various charity organizations."
A tipsy man in the crowd called out, "Proceed to partyy! Red Solo Cup!"
Chris laughed and took his cue down into the crowd. The DJ continued his set, after a few club songs a slower one started. Mindy was fiddling with her phone when someone grabbed her from behind, her dad's voice rang through her head, 'Now Hit-Girl, we always keep our backs where?' 'To the wall Daddy, I know. Um, it... it won't happen again. Nice shot, by the way.' 'Thank you.'
His arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her close, "Hn, photographing my suit, well my old one anyway."
She glared at the picture, "Shut it, Red Mist."
Chris snatched her phone and shoved it into his pocket, she whipped around and he deflected her slap by grabbing her hand and proceeded to dance with her.
"Ah ah," he taunted, "You can have that later." She glared at him, "Later as in now."
Chris made a face and smirked, "Hmm, nah. Later as in we can finish what we started and then you can have this back."
"I said-" she fumed, and began to speak but he pulled her close, pressing her against him, "Feel familiar?" he whispered.
"Stop! People will see!" she whispered back, with venom.
"So? Who cares?"
Mindy nearly shrieked, "I care! I don't want Marcus or Dave to see me like this!"
She looked around frantically, afraid she might make eye contact with either of them, Chris raised a brow at her exasperated face, "Ooh, Dave..you like him don't you?"
Her face converted to revulsion, "God no! He's like an older brother, his creepy friend bothers me too."
"Right…he likes you. Probably in his own nerdy ass way." Chris snorted.
Mindy's eyes widened in agreement, "Oh, I know. He always tells me what Dave does with what's-her-face. He's even obsessed with Hit Girl, he tells me that he would do me, but he wants to do Hit Girl even more."
"Haha! You have a creepy admirer! So does the creep even have a name?" Chris laughed at her expense.
Mindy scowled, then she smirked up at Chris, "Oh yeah? What does that make you, dick wad?"
He shrugged casually, "Sexual release, obviously."
Mindy felt the need to gag, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. In all honesty he was correct, after all he was much more attractive than one of Dave's creepy friends. Not that she would admit it out loud, an eighteen year old has her pride, but her prolonged silence indicated agreement.
"Heh," he smirked, "Told you."
She rolled her eyes, "Shut up Gaylord, what's in it for you?"
He cocked his head, "I knew you wanted me-"
She interrupted, "This is hypothetical, dumbass."
Chris continued, "And I've noticed that you enjoy using dirty words…" he leaned in and whispered into her ear, "Well, the benefits are me pounding your sopping cunt with my thick, hard cock. How does that sound?"
Mindy swallowed, how that got her going was a shock all in itself, after a few moments she spoke up, "When is this happening?" she refrained from profanity when he just smirked at her, "Don't worry about it."
She cursed in her head, 'Motherfucker, you don't keep me waiting. Stupid fucking rich kid.' as she thought this, Mindy rested her head on his shoulder. Chris looked down with a look of content surprise followed by smugness.
From a distance, Dave stood with Marcus. Dave gestured, "You see that?"
Marcus nodded and then shook his head in disappointment, "Girl's gone crazy."
Dave nodded, "Cray cray fosho." Marcus looked at him, "…Shut up Dave, maybe she's getting intel." They watched Chris lean and whisper into Mindy's ear, what they thought was intel was really just descriptive hypothetical scenarios.
Dave turned to Marcus, "Should we, you know, intervene?"
Marcus shook his head, "Nah man, I'll talk to her later."
Just then the song ended, and the couple reluctantly released their hold on one another. More club songs played, and as Marcus blinked he lost sight of Mindy and D'Amico.
"The hell?" They had snuck off to a darker corner where they proceeded to grind in privacy.
On my waist…through my hair…think about it when you touch me there…Close my eyes…here we are all alone..Dancin' in the dark..Tell me baby..if it's wrong…to let my hands do what they want…late at night..and you turn me on…Dancin' in the dark…
They grinded, if someone passed they must've believed someone was scoring. Chris clenched his hands on Mindy's waist, they started off with rhythm, but they became more frantic. It was almost as if she was getting anal rather than provocatively dancing…with an enemy no less.
Wanna see who you are..gotta sex drive just push to start.
After a few minutes the song ended, and Mindy leaned back against Chris, they relaxed as they caught their breath.
"Chris.."
"What?"
"Listen fuckface," Mindy regained her composure, "Why are you doing this shit?"
He quirked a brow, "What do you mean?"
"Well dumbass," she said in a matter-of-fact tone, "I'm not a sex toy for a quick bone."
"You're so uptight…if you catch my drift." he rubbed against her suggestively.
"I'm not a walking pussy, cunt!"
Chris rolled his eyes, "We've already established that."
She growled, "We're fucking enemies! Our dads hated each other!"
Chris yawned, "Noted. And I spent a good portion of my life trying to please an unpleasable father. But your daddy loved you and whatnot, and you managed to please him. Lucky you."
"You make no sense. Quit bitching."
"There is a reason for it, I don't want to be a fucking douche like my dad. Charity parties and getting wasted every once in a while is what rich kids are supposed to do. So I am."
"And Red Mist, or The Motherfucker?" she asked after a few moments.
"He's still out there." he said with a smirk.
"Why? You still leading that drug cartel?"
"Hell no, god, what part of I don't want to be a fucking douche like my dad, don't you get? Shut down the operations, and all the drug leaders have gotten into 'accidents'."
Mindy smiled evilly, she took the bastards down without telling Dave or Marcus, they were a bit pissed but relieved. "You do realize without my dad's drug cartel others are going to rise up?"
Mindy turned to face him and cracked her knuckles, "Taking names, killing bitches."
Chris leaned against the wall crossing his arms, "So, you going to kill me?"
Mindy reached into his pocket, and they locked eyes with each other, she grabbed what she wanted and pulled it out. She waved her phone in his face, "Depends, you gonna be a bad guy? Or are you finally going to be like Batman?"
"Hmm, rich boy gone vigilante, I'd have to change my costume….but maybe."
Mindy smirked, "Hopefully you don't suck."
"Speaking of sucking," he quirked a brow, "How about we finish what we started?"
Mindy stepped back, "How about, no, not ever. Like I told you before, you were just sexual release. Too bad, so sad."
He rolled his eyes, "You don't know what kind of pussy treatment you're missing out on."
"Yeah right." Crossing her arms, she rolled her eyes.
"You'll wish you had." he waggled his brows.
She walked off, "Yeah yeah, see you around dick wad."
He grabbed her arm, "Where do you think you're going?"
"Hey shit for brains, unlike you, some of us have to work in the morning." Mindy shoved his hand off her arm.
Chris checked his watch, "It's only eleven thirty."
She made a face, "My shift starts at nine, dumbass."
"You have plenty of time." he tempted.
Mindy rolled her eyes, "Fuck that, I'm getting some sleep. Stupid customers, always try to grab the mic, it's not karaoke."
Chris raised a brow, "Where the hell do you work?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Mindy smirked.
"Well I asked."
Mindy shrugged, "Oh, well, you know, I'm a stripper."
His eyes bulged a bit, and he snorted as he appraised her, "Really?"
"No dumbass, I'm a waitress.."
Chris nearly laughed, but instead grinned, "Hard to believe you're a killer vigilante by night and a waitress by day."
"Hey they make us sing too."
"Seriously? Haha, I would've laughed if you worked at Hooters or some shit."
"Same to you." she walked off in annoyance, and Chris called after her, "What's the restaurant?"
She shrugged, "Some gay name, Cubicle Club I think."
He smirked, "I'll stop by some time."
"Oh hell no!" she stomped back towards him, "No you aren't! I don't want you to be anywhere near me if I have to sing."
He laughed and swatted her ass, "Don't worry about it."
"Touch my ass again D'Amico and I'll give you something to worry about." she threatened.
He backed away, hands up in defense, "I'll stop by." winking he joined the crowd.
"Fine, stop by, more money for me."
Chris turned and laughed, "Now now, I think I should ask one more time, you sure you don't want to have an after party?"
"I'm not a whore you pick up for a one night stand, go fuck some wasted chick."
"Nah, I like the ones that play hard to get, but I'm going to laugh when you want me pumping in and out of you. You'll want me." he made his final turn and disappeared.
Mindy left and grabbed her stuff, when she reached the car, she was greeted by Marcus in the driver seat. She slammed the door shut, "At least you're here. I was hoping I wouldn't have to look for you."
Marcus smiled, twisting the ignition, "Yeah yeah," after a few minutes of driving in silence, Marcus spoke up, "So…"
Mindy didn't even turn her head from the window, "'So'? What?"
Marcus shrugged, "Oh, I dunno, I mean it just looked like you were getting a bit cozy with D'Amico…"
Mindy face palmed, and Marcus gave her a knowing look, "That's like a mortal sin, in your dad's book."
Mindy snapped surprisingly, "Well I'm not my dad!" after a few seconds pause she added, "Besides, I don't even like D'Amico."
Marcus rolled his eyes, "Right."
"I don't!" she countered defensively.
The sergeant smirked, and turned to see the oncoming traffic, "Mhmm..I'll bet."
Mindy crossed her arms and huffed in defiance, "Whatever."
"How about the picture?" Marcus asked.
She shrugged, "D'Amico says he stopped his dad's cartel-"
"Actions speak louder than words." Marcus stated, turning the wheel.
"Which is why Hit Girl should probably verify his words." she attempted to coax, a smile stretching on her face.
"No way! Uh-uh! You have work in the morning, I don't want you drinking the customer's coffee again." He accelerated towards the yellow light, but it flashed red before he made it.
Mindy pouted, "Fine."
"I mean it Mindy, don't make me bar the windows again." Marcus warned, he shifted gears, and narrowed his eyes at her.
Mindy sighed, "Yes sir."
Marcus smiled, "Good." he turned his attention back to the road, and began to accelerate towards their street.
"So did you see Dave? Or what's-her-face?" she asked nonchalantly.
Marcus cut the wheel again, they slowly made their way down their street, "Yeah, Dave saw you with D'Amico, and asked if we should interrupt. I let it slide. And the girl's name is Katie, and no."
"I don't like her." Mindy said truthfully, albeit bluntly, "Something just seems fake. I just want to punch her in the face and get some real looking emotion. I mean, come on! She thought Dave was gay, when he had a crush on her! A-list bitch in my book."
Marcus laughed and nodded, he parked the car. "Okay, we all have our opinions. Straight to bed, you understand?"
"You know I'm eighteen right?" she reminded.
"Straight to bed." he repeated.
"Yes sir." Mindy mock saluted.
A/N: 'Sup guys. Uh, I'll have updates eventually. You all know the routine by now. I'll start something. Get a few updates in...leaving you hanging for a while then eventually pop back up again...with a different plot for a different story...I'm so unreliable. Anyway!
I actually didn't get this story idea from Kick-Ass (love that movie), I got it from watching commercials for Movie 43 (Wanna see that so fricking bad!). Well the actors who play as Mindy and Chris, are in that movie and the clip they showed was just funny...I had to write something!
Chris' character: "Oh my god! She's having her period!"
Chloe's character: "What do I do?!"
Chris' character: "We gotta plug it up somehow! *runs into a closet retrieves a swiffer mop* I got this pad on a stick!"
Chloe's character: "This can't be happening!"
So...um yeah...