Series Title:What Are You Afraid Of?

Title:Out Of My Mind

Author:Kamisado

Summary:8 Year old Gaara thinks about his problem with the thought of insanity.

Part:1/25

Fear:Agateophobia – Fear of insanity.

Rated:K+

xXx

Aquamarine eyes stared out the small window in Gaara's bedroom, staring out into endless, clear, black skies.

Midnight had rolled around about a half an hour previous and the 8 year old insomniac was still awake.

As was normal for him.

The lights in his room had been shut off hours ago, and the only source of light remaining was the tiny nightlight plugged into the far wall.

To be honest, he really didn't need it.

He'd never been afraid of the dark and he'd certainly gotten used to it.

In fact, he preferred the dark, instead of the light.

No, the dark really didn't scare or bother him in any way.

But he DID have a fear.

Contrary to popular belief, the little redhead was terrified of one thing.

Not death.

No, he was neither afraid nor worried about death or dying.

Much like dying, he'd become accustomed to it.

But the thing that terrified him beyond all rational though, was insanity.

The son of the Kazekage was absolutely terrified of what he would eventually become with the help of a certain demon residing in him.

He was scared out of his wits with the thought of being insane.

The simple thought of being reduced to a ball of fear scared him more than any assassination attempt on his life ever had.

It was a bizarre phobia, but a phobia nonetheless.

It made no sense.

None whatsoever.

Maybe HE was a little insane himself, if not completely out of his mind.

A bat flew by his window and Gaara's heart reminded him of the fluttering mammal's wings.

Oh dear, that thought had only made things worse, and the small 8 year old was moment's away from a full blown panic attack.

Goosebumps crawled over his flesh in a tingling way as the hairs on the back of his neck prickled almost painfully.

His breath came in short rasps and his head roared, blood pounding through every inch of him.

Gaara's stomach churned violently and his heart hammered against his ribs.

Sweat formed on his forehead and the back of his neck as the shivers commenced.

They started in his small chubby hands, before rippling up his arms to every part of him, and he sat on the edge of his bed, body shaking and mind reeling in panic.

Now he was sure he was insane.

An intense wave of vertigo washed over him and coloured lights exploded behind his eyelids as he clenched his eyes shut.

His head was spinning and he just wanted to scream, maybe even sob, for help, but even in the solitude of his own room, he wouldn't.

But he desperately needed to find a way to calm himself, before he fainted and allowed the demon within him to have free reign.

He clenched his eye tighter, trying to visualize something...

ANYTHING to calm himself.

He made a soft noise, that would later remind him of a whimper from a kicked puppy, as he couldn't find a single thing that would prove even remotely useful.

'Perfect time for my mind to go blank...' he thought bitterly as a sharp snap outside sent his paranoia levels, that were already ridiculously high, skyrocketing.



All the redhead could think about at the moment was of the insanity that COULD be there, but he couldn't be sure it wasn't either, so he only succeeded in scaring himself even more.

His breathing got a little faster and a touch shallower, and he felt his chest getting tight, he was going to faint.

Everything was going dark, he felt his eyelashes flutter and he was about to fall into oblivion, but a hand was placed on his shoulder before he could.

"Gaara?"

Gaara turned slowly to look up at who had spoken.

"Kankuro...?"

"Are you okay?" Kankuro asked, looking down at the panicky redhead.

"Y-Yeah." Gaara said, wide, teal eyes looking up at his elder sibling.

"I don't believe that." Kankuro said, dark eyes narrowing at the younger.

There was a moment of silence between them, broken only by the wind outside blowing the desert sand about.

"Would you like me to stay?" Kankuro asked, taking a seat next to the tiny redhead.

Gaara remained silent, sea green eyes looking down at his small hands that were still shaking.

Kankuro placed a hand over both of Gaara's.

"Do you want me to stay?" The elder asked again.

Gaara looked up at his older brother.

"Would you...Do that for me?" Gaara asked, in a small, shy voice.

Kankuro nodded slowly.

"So you want me to stay?"

"Please." Gaara replied, returning his gaze to his hands.

Kankuro gave a toothy smile to the younger.

Gaara still shook slightly, sweat trickled down his brow.

Kankuro placed one of his own small, chubby hands over Gaara's forehead.

"Are you hot?" Kankuro asked.

"P-pardon?" Gaara asked, flushing pink.

"Are you hot? You're sweating."



"N-No, I-I'm okay."

"Then what's wrong?" Kankuro held his gaze.

"N-Nothing." Gaara said, averting his eyes and internally cursing himself for both stuttering and blushing in the same five minutes, and he tilted his head down in submission. "Hey Kankuro?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not...Crazy am I?"

Kankuro made a face of concentration and it took him a moment to respond.

"Well, you ARE a little scary, but I don't think you're CRAZY." Kankuro said and Gaara leaned into the hand that was still on his forehead.

"Are you sure?" Gaara asked, teal eyes boring into Kankuro's darker ones.

"Positive."

Gaara watched his brother, not believe his words.

"I promise." Kankuro said, reassuring the redhead.

Gaara allowed a small smile to grace his pale face and nodded.

"Hey Kankuro?" Gaara asked, looking out the window.

"Yes Gaa-Chan?" Kankuro looked out the window as well.

"...What are you afraid of?"

Kankuro looked at his little brother and stayed silent.

xXx

FIN