So I wanted to write a little story about what would happen if the cast of FMA stumbled across Fanfiction. This will be a multi-chap story. It was meant to be a one-shot, but I decided the drag it out a little.
I hope you guys enjoy it, even though I just kind of made it for fun. I'm really not expecting it to be that popular!
All of Roy's subordinates, minus Hughes, who was residing in the bathroom at the moment, sat in the colonel's office, lounging around as the man signed an enormous stack of papers.
Along with them was Alphonse Elric, who sat next to his brother on the couch and prodded a finger at the sleeping blonde.
Kain Fuery sat at a desk, playing around on a computer he had just got. He had been on the computer ever since he had found out about the recently discovered "internet".
Jean Havoc walked up behind Fuery and patted him on the back, "Hey, Fuery, why don't you look me up and see what comes up." He told the man.
Fuery's response was an, "uhhhh" and the sound of fast fingers moving along a keyboard.
"Jean Havoc." He said as he typed, holding out each letter of the name as he did so.
Havoc bent over the small man's shoulder to see what came up.
From across the room, Riza Hawkeye rolled her eyes, "Really, Havoc, are you so conceited you have to look yourself up?" she asked.
Havoc turned around and struck a pose, "Well excuse me if I want to know what people of the world will be learning when they search my name!" he told her.
"When they search your name? What makes you think they will?" Heymans Breda chuckled.
"Okay, here are the results!" Fuery said, making Havoc turn around to look at the list of things that came up for his name.
Havoc muttered as he looked down the list, "Scroll down, there's nothing interesting here!" he ordered.
Fuery obliged and scrolled down.
"Hold on a second, what's that?!" Havoc said suddenly, grabbing Fuery's hand and forcing him to stop with his scrolling.
Fuery pushed up his glasses and leaned in close, "Jean Havoc x Roy Mustang. I wonder what that could be."
At the mention of his name, the Flame Alchemist lifted his head. "Someone say my name? Do you need my assistance?" he asked hopefully.
Anything to get him out of signing papers!
Roy pushed himself away from his desk and hurried up to the two men that were already at the computer.
"Mustang and Havoc in the same sentence? Oh I have got to see this!" Breda said and hurried up to the three men, Vato Falman close behind.
Al stopped his poking and looked up curiously. He shrugged his shoulders and stood up, joining the group that was now surrounding little Fuery.
The only two that didn't join were Hawkeye and Ed.
Hawkeye rolled her eyes at the boys and took Al's seat on the couch.
Ed was fast asleep on said couch and didn't have a clue to what was going on.
The page finally loaded and Fuery read aloud for all to hear, "Roy took Havoc's hand tenderly and pulled him in close. 'Don't be so down, Havoc. You shouldn't worry that woman are attracted to me. You know that the only person I will ever love is…you.' With that, Roy pulled the man in for a long, passionate kiss."
Fuery stopped reading due to how highly embarrassed he was feeling.
Havoc's unlit cigarette fell from his mouth, "What the fuck was that?!" he screamed.
Ed murmured from the couch and Al shushed the frightful man.
Havoc lowered his voice and repeated, "What was that thing?! Where the hell did you find this, Fuery?" he whisper shouted into Fuery's ear.
Fuery tried to speak, but stuttered, so no words came out.
From behind, Breda was rolling around on the floor, clutching his stomach and laughing. Tears rolled down his cheek and he wiped them away, "Ohmygod!" he said breathlessly in between laughs.
Roy stood speechless, his face a pale color.
Falman was trying hard to hold back his laughter, but giggles came out in little spurts every now and then.
Al seemed to be the only one stable enough to read the name of the site.
"Fan fiction, " he read, his voice echoing in his suit of metal.
Havoc threw his hands up, "What kind of sick website is this! Get off of it right now Fuery!" he warned, grabbing the back of Fuery's collar warningly.
Fuery gulped and was about to exit when Breda stood up and intervened.
"No don't! We have to see what else is on here! See that little search bar thingy? Type in," he thought for a moment, "Havoc x Fuery!" he bellowed.
"Shhh!" Al shushed once again, looking cautiously at his brother who began stirring.
All the color drained from the small man's face, "No, I couldn't possibly! Just…no!" he fought.
Breda rolled his eyes, "All in favor of having Fuery search what I just said raise your hand!" he said, lifting an arm.
Roy, Falman, and surprisingly Hawkeye all raised their hands along with the chubby man.
Fuery sat stiff and Havoc had his arms crossed, "No way is he searching! It's a tie," he pointed at Breda, "you, Hawkeye, Mustang and Falman against me, Fuery, Al and Ed!" he protested.
"Hey, that's not fair! Ed's asleep!" Breda shouted angrily, taking a step closer to Havoc.
Havoc shrugged, "His hand still isn't raised though." He smirked.
Breda growled and turned to Al, "Okay, Al, you're our last resort here. Why don't you just raise your arm?" he practically begged.
Al put his hands up, "No, no, I couldn't, really. We shouldn't embarrass these two." He said innocently.
Roy took a step up, "Al, raise your hand or Ed will be paying for your actions." He said viciously.
It was clearly obvious he didn't want to go back to signing papers.
Al gulped and reluctantly raised his arm.
Breda smirked and Havoc huffed, "There you have it, now Fuery, be a good boy and search it." He said, clutching Fuery's shoulder.
Fuery whined but did as he was told.
He clicked the search button and after a few moments, a short list of title names showed up.
Roy leaned in and read one of the stories summaries, "Fuery is upset that no one will take in the dog he found. Havoc decides that it's his job to make Fuery feel better-in any way he can. Fuery x Havoc yaoi."
Roy straightened up, "What is yaoi?" he asked confused.
Breda and Falman shrugged.
From his chair, Fuery moaned, "Ohgod, why?" he whined.
Havoc looked like he was about to cry, "Why am I the one whose getting all this crap? Why don't you search with a different person!" he suggested his voice cracking as he spoke.
Fuery nodded his approval, glad to turn the attention off of him, and typed in the search bar "Breda x Falman".
"Hey what the hell, man?!" Breda screamed, earning a loud shushing from Al.
"You can't search that!" Falman agreed silently, a panicked hitch to his voice.
"Too late." Havoc chuckled maliciously.
Falman covered his eyes as the suggestions popped up on the screen.
This time, it was Havoc doing the reading, "Breda and Falman; they are always together so it's kind of known to everyone that they've had sex some time in their life! Here's a little story about their first time together."
Fuery, Havoc, and even Al and Hawkeye laughed.
"Now that I think about it, it's kind of true! I could so see those two doing it with each other!" Havoc chuckled.
Hawkeye laughed silently from her spot on the couch, "You two do spend an awful lot of time together!"
"Okay, Lieutenant Hawkeye, why don't we see what comes up for you!" Breda said, stealing the mouse from Fuery and typing in Hawkeye's name.
Her laughing quickly subsided.
A long list of Hawkeye x Mustang came up.
"Wow, four thousand, one hundred twenty five results!" Fuery said in a shocked voice before turning to Mustang, "Everyone must really think you two have a thing together!"
The sound of gun shots stopped the laughing that had broken out among everyone besides Mustang, Hawkeye, and-of course- Ed.
"You will not be adding me into your little searching party! Take my name out of that search bar this instant!" she said sternly, pointing her gun at Fuery.
Fuery instantly erased the woman's name.
Hawkeye smiled sweetly and holstered her weapon, "Good-boy, now why don't you search someone else."
Fuery nodded his head speedily, "What should I search?" he asked.
At that moment, the door to the room opened and in walked Hughes.
Havoc leaned over and whispered into Fuery's ear.
Fuery smiled and began typing.
"What'd I miss?" Hughes said as he joined the group of all males who were at the computer.
Al quickly filled him in about the website they had found and its strange pairings of all the people in the room.
Hughes rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, "Well that's a little weird. Why are you guys still on this website if it's so abnormal?" he asked.
Al shrugged and answered simply, "I think they just want to embarrass each other."
"Here we are; the next pairing: Roy Mustang x Maes Hughes!" Fuery said.
Havoc and Breda began laughing hysterically.
Both Hughes and Roy's faces blushed madly.
Little did anyone in the room know that when they were younger, the two of them had shared a kiss.
They weren't very keen on bringing up any suspicions.
Havoc read, "Roy gets injured in battle and Hughes takes him home to take care of him. Rated M for a reason."
"Why am I paired with so many people?" Roy said in a strained voice.
"You do seem to be the most popular." Fuery agreed.
Hughes spoke up, "Enough of that; search another pairing."
Everyone in the room agreed, and both Hughes and Roy let out a sigh of relief.
"Whose next?" Fuery asked.
Mustang smiled wickedly, "Why don't we search something to do with Fullmetal? He's asleep so it's not like he'll care."
"Yeah and why you're at it, why don't you see just how sick these stories can get! Search Ed x Al!" Havoc shared Mustang's malicious smile.
"What!?" Al said loudly as Fuery typed. He put his hands up and it seemed as if his suit of armor turned a few shades lighter, "No, please don't!" he begged.
"Do you really have to embarrass him like that?" Hughes asked as he tried to spare Al.
"Yep." Havoc smiled. "Everyone else has been searched. The Elric brothers don't get any special treatment!" Roy said, patting Al on the back.
Hughes seemed to understand and apologized to Al as the list came up.
"Okay," Fuery said as he pushed up his glasses and looked at the surprisingly long list of Ed x Al stories, "Al has his body back and the Elric brothers decide to celebrate by," Fuery stopped before squeaking out, "breaking in Al. Oh my." He said.
Al's armor seemed to turn white, "No! Brother and I would never do something like that!" he explained.
Hughes patted Al, "We know you wouldn't, Al. These are just sick people." He said, although a smile on his face deceived him.
Roy, Falman, Havoc and Breda had no problem with showing how hysterical they thought the whole thing was.
All of them were bent over, slapping their knees and wiping away tears as they laughed.
Little did they know that Fuery was already searching something else into the search bar.
No one looked at the computer screen until Fuery said, "Woah."
Everyone turned to the screen.
Falman spoke, "Wow, sir, you and Edward have three thousand, six hundred forty-two results." He said quietly.
All sat in shocked silence. Even Hawkeye was thinking about the two alchemists as a couple.
Fuery broke the silence with the reading of a summary, "Can we all agree that Ed and Roy are bursting with sexual tension for each other? I'm here to relieve that tension. Roy x Ed yaoi; rated M for a reason. A very big reason!"
No one laughed.
"Wow. You know, now that I think of it, the two of you really do seem to have sexual tension towards each other." Breda said.
Havoc nodded his head, "I never really thought about it before, but it all makes a lot of sense."
Falman agreed and Hughes nodded his head.
Even Al was agreeing!
Roy's face became a deep shade of red, "THERE IS NO SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN FULLMETAL AND I! HE IS A MINOR AND I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT HIM IN A SEXUAL WAY! NOW TURN THAT OFF RIGHT NOW, FUERY, OR I WILL REMOVE YOU FROM MY TEAM!" Roy shouted.
At the same time Fuery let out an "EEP!" and had exited out of the site, Ed woke up.
He jumped off of the couch and began jumping around, "CAN'T A GUY GET SOME SLEEP AROUND HERE? YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN INTERUPTING MY SLEEP FOR WAY TOO LONG SO JUST SHUTUP!"
Mustang turned to Ed, "Don't have such a short temper, Fullmetal!" he argued.
"WHY IS MY TEMPER SHORTER THAN ANYONE ELSE'S, YOU COLONEL BASTARD!" Ed screamed at Mustang.
All the time they were fighting, everyone else in the room was studying them.
Finally Hawkeye stood up, "Yep," she said loudly and clearly.
Mustang and Ed stopped their fighting and turned to her.
She continued, "Sexual tension."
Everyone in the room other than Ed and Mustang nodded their agreement.
"WHAT?!" Ed bellowed at the same time Roy shouted, "SHUTUP!"
To be continued.
Well if you liked it, tell me what you think :D