A/N: Alrighty, here is my very first VA series original Fanfiction! And I'm nervous about it... what if it didn't stick to his personality? What if its lame? Oh NOES!

Well I tried... Thanks so much to Heather (Leftoverthoughts) who has been my little Beta for the past two fics... and thank you to everyone who has reviewed my stories thus far! (For the record if you saw that "fefella" person on one of my other fics... I swear thats not me! I don't know who it is but I wish they wouldn't mock my pen name :0/ )

OHHHHH AND thank you sooooooo much "blah248" for the reviews on "Hide and Seek". You are the only one reading it I'm afraid! But it means a lot that you actually like my original fiction!

Also if you didn't know already... the cover for this fic and, I believe, three others are on my profile page soooo GO CHECK IT OUT!

[The characters/world belongs to Richelle Mead. I just butchered the characters.]

Onward, ho!

The cold breeze was moving along the grounds of the Academy as I stood waiting for Tasha. My thoughts were consumed by my earlier conversation with Rose.

It never ceased to amaze me, how mature Rose was for a girl of only seventeen. She saw the world in the same light as a person who had seen a lifetime. She was perfection in every way imaginable. I wanted to tell her that every day. But it was Rose after all and she had a tendency to let things go to her head.

My thoughts of Rose turned to the dark side. I had to bring myself back to that place where I knew why my love for her would go wasted. I couldn't protect Lissa and Rose at the same time. I wasn't supposed to. My loyalty was to my Moroi, and the more I fell for Rose the worse off I was. I couldn't keep doing this to myself, or to her.

I thought back to the Badicas' house. Walking through the door and seeing all that death but only caring that Rose was safe in the car. Going about my trained duty but in the back of my mind only wanting to get back to her and get her out of that place. And the feeling in my stomach when she was standing there, silver stake in hand, taking in all that destruction. I knew she would be able to handle it but a small part of me didn't want her to have to.

That's when I knew we had gone too far. I had to do something to change this uncomfortable situation.

"Dimka," Tasha said as she approached me and the car. She smiled and hugged me and her warmth radiated through my body. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, I am." I opened the door for her, than hurried around the car to get in as well.

"So tell me about Rose. Is she really as good as Lissa and Christian say?" Tasha asked as we drove toward Missoula.

"She's an exceptional student. She is stubborn, but brilliant. A fast learner, a faster reaction time. It's getting harder and harder to pull one over on her." I glanced at Tasha and smiled, "Just don't tell her that."

She laughed. "She is going to be a great guardian for Lissa."

"The best one for her."

Tasha looked at me. "Well, Dimitri, don't be so quick to praise yourself."

"I know what I can do, and who I am. I also know that the bond, the connection that Rose and Lissa have, will never be stronger between a guardian and their Moroi." I shook my head. "I could be gone tomorrow and no matter whom they replace me with, Lissa would still be safe, because of Rose."

"Are you trying to say something?" She was looking at me with a look of concern.

"It's nothing." I kept my eyes on the road and we drove on in silence.

The truth was, the more I thought about Lissa and Rose graduating, the more I thought about how wrong all of this was. I couldn't do it. I couldn't be Lissa's guardian. One of us would have to go and, due to the girls' bond, Rose was in it for the long run. I was the expendable one.

Tasha placed her hand on mine and that same warmth filled me. I glanced at her and noticed, again, how beautiful she was. She wasn't as utterly remarkable as Rose was but she was amazing in her own way. She was interested in me; I knew that without a doubt. I also knew that she needed a guardian and someone to keep her safe. The more my problems with Rose ate at me, the more inclined I was to ask her if she needed me.

We pulled into the Southgate Mall in Missoula about two hours before it closed. As Tasha shopped I found myself remembering the mall trip I had been on earlier with the girls and Victor Dashkov. I had been distracted by Rose then and Ben had noticed. I could tell that the other guardians thought I was slipping and that thought pissed me off. I pushed the thought out of my head and continued to watch for signs of anything out of the ordinary around Tasha.

"Look, Belikov, I don't need a bodyguard. I need someone to tell me if Christian would like this." She glared at me, and I laughed, finally letting myself enjoy this time with Tasha.

For the next half hour, she would pick something out and ask my opinion, I would give the same response and she would roll her eyes. I had to admit that I was actually enjoying my time with this woman. She made me temporarily forget all the issues I had waiting for me back at the Academy.

"Alright, this dress would be amazing for Rose, right?" She held up a red silk dress, embroidered with flowers. I was no critic, but the dress was amazing.

I pictured Rose in the dress, the cloth clinging to every curve. Showing nothing, but everything at the same time. Her hair up and her beautiful brown eyes looking at me expectantly.

"Yes? No?" Tasha asked breaking through my mental images.

"Yeah," I said clearing my throat, "She'll love that dress."

Tasha smiled and turned to purchase the dress.

As we made our way back to the car, Tasha sighed and looked at me. "You're not happy are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Being Lissa's guardian. I know you were happy with Ivan, and I know no one will ever replace him, but I don't think you are happy with Lissa."
"It's complicated." And it was. I liked Lissa fine. I was honored to be her guardian. It was my screwed up relationship with Rose that was making me miserable. The conflicting thoughts were starting to make me feel like I was losing my mind. Of course I couldn't explain any of this to Tasha, so she was under the impression that it was Lissa that had me unhappy.

We loaded her purchases into the car and as I closed the back door. Tasha stood in front of me. She had her arms crossed over her chest and was frowning.

"What if you were my guardian? Would that make you happier?"

"What?" I wasn't ready for that.

"Could you be happier with me than with Lissa?"

"I don't know," was all I said as I opened the door for her.

We rode along in silence as I let her words turn over and over in my mind.

Could you be happier with me?

As we approached the school I glanced at Tasha, "Maybe I could be."

She looked at me and smiled slightly. "Maybe," she agreed.

A/N2: ARG! I hate writing original fanfics! Ya'll can tell me if it was total bullshit! I totally will take it down, if its aweful!

****AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! May 2009 bring you all the joy that Harry Potter:HBP, Blood Promise, and Succubus Heat are! (If you haven't read Richelle's Succubus books you really need to! They are amazing... but they ARE the reason I couldn't cry about Dimitri soooo be warned... The third book in both her series' tend to leave you feeling suicidal!)****