I was sure that caring would kill me. Caring got people hurt. Got me hurt. The closer people are the easier it is for them to hurt you so it was always easier to keep people at a distance. Which got difficult sometimes since I tended to be social and just all around cheery around most people especially if I didn't know them. Greece was the exception as always. Fight fight fight fight fight. All the bloody time and it got rather tiring to always have to be ready to fire off some comeback or be ready to dodge. I will admit that I started a great number of them, but I wasn't sure how to treat the kid. It was the only way I knew how to act around him.

I sighed. I could feel how much thinner I was. I didn't have the will to fight I once had before… I didn't have as much fire or life if you will in my eyes anymore. I could see it each time I looked in the mirror. My mask however hid it rather well. Caring was going to kill me and all these symptoms were proof. I ate the same amount every day, sometimes more, but I was still thinning after all. Honestly it kind of hurt. But I'd had worse before. I could handle it. It was kind of sad really. I was at his beck and call. Why did I care so much? Why couldn't I just kill the leech and get it over with, save my life in the process? No. No he has no clue what he's doing to me. He's innocent.

I ran a hand through my hair. Anyone who harms a child is evil. Children are innocent. He is innocent. Just because he is to take my place doesn't mean he deserves death. Maybe this country deserves something new anyway. I've been around far too long and no one liked me anyway. Maybe that was why I was so friendly… My personality shaped the way it did to make up for the social interaction I lacked. 'The nations don't wish to be friends with me so why not have fleeting interactions with people' kind of thing… Sad. My whole life was sad. My whole existence was sad. If I really looked at it I found that my existence was worthless. But I didn't like to think about it because it made me rather… depressed.

But now I had the kid. I would raise him well. I would raise him to be enduring for all the hardships ahead. I'd teach him to fight so he could defend himself. I'd make sure he was strong enough to protect himself well enough before I passed. I'd teach him everything I knew. He was my reason for living and I would die for him soon enough. I was going to die and for some reason that didn't bother me… So this was what it felt like… to care for someone so deeply. The ghost of a smile passed my lips. I had to keep him hidden for as long as possible so he wasn't at risk for attack.

The others find the personification of a rebellion of sorts, one meant to be them and take over and they just go and kill them… It was cruel and I suppose I was lucky to not have had this happen before. Who knows how I would have acted if I was younger. I may have done what the others did. Who knows… However I couldn't hide my weakening state forever. The more he grew the weaker I got. But that was ok… I felt a strange calm when I looked at the kid. He gave my life purpose. Never had I felt like this before. Never had I felt so whole. I was happy. Truly happy.

"Sadik?"

"Yes? What is it? What do you need?" I looked into the familiar emerald eyes that were so much like my own I was sure I should feel unnerved by it.

"Do you really have to go tomorrow?" His hair swung into his face again. I'd need to cut it when I returned.

"Yeah. But I'll be back before you know it."

"What's so important about these meetings anyway? Is there someone there you like more than me?"

"No no of course not. There's no one I'd like more than you. It's just for work purposes. You'll understand when you're older." I brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"... Why can't I come?"

"It's boring, trust me. I only go because I have to. Now what are we going to do about your hair? It seems like just yesterday I cut it."

"It was not. It was a year ago."

"Really? That long? Time sure does fly."

"Flies?" He seemed confused and I actually found it rather cute. I sure have gone soft.

"It's just an expression."

"... What's it express?"

I laughed. The kid was always full of questions. That was one of the many things I like about the kid. The more he learned the easier things were going to be. Especially if he learned economics and history and such.

"How about I rephrase it? Time goes by fast. Is that better?"

"Oh… Why didn't you just say that earlier?"

"I dunno. Well it's getting late. Lets get you tucked into bed, yeah?"

"Read me a story?"

"Sure. Why not?"

That little spark that I liked shone in his eyes. I smiled brightly as I took his hand and led him up the stairs. He followed eagerly. Once the kid was settled I walked over to the personal bookcase I had placed in the room.

"Which one?"

"The fairytales!"

"Ok, ok I hear you. No need to shout."

Pulling the book from the shelf I brought over the chair from the desk to the side of the bed. The book opened easily to the previously marked page. I enjoyed reading the story to him as his expressions would change at various points. Sometimes excited, other times on edge, but he was always into the story no matter what it was. I paused at a rather dramatic point.

"He doesn't die."

"Huh? Why'd you tell me that?" He whined.

"You just seemed a little too into the story. I didn't want-"

"Don't Do that. Just read." He practically bounced in his seat.

Normally I'd have been irritated at such an interruption, but if it was him I was ok with it. So I simply smiled.

"Ok. Relax. I'll finish this one and then you need to sleep, ok?"

"Promise."

The story was finished faster than I expected. I actually enjoyed my time with him and it seemed like every moment was slipping away faster than I could grasp it. No moment stayed longer than that… A moment. I sighed and stood. Placing the book back in it's rightful place I bid the kid goodnight before killing the light and closing the door.

I know I know I'm morbid. I mean I have one of England I'm going to put up after I finish this one sooo... yeeeaaaahhh... Don't hate me. Well that was chapter one. I hope you enjoyed it...