My life has never, and will never be perfect. My family is dysfunctional, my "friends" were all posers, I was poor as poor gets, and the list goes on and on. I'm not here to complain, or tell you how bad I have it, because my life wasn't bad, I just got sick and tired of all of it. Sometimes I didn't know if I could take another day of it. The constant fighting, the fucked-up lectures, and the hypocrisy of everything just put me on edge. My family has been slowly falling to pieces over the years, and I was lucky; I managed to stay sane enough and get a new start. But some of us weren't so lucky. I'm really just here to tell my sister's story. The pain she went through and the suffering that she put our whole family in.
I've lived in Collinsville Connecticut my whole life, along with my parents Jen and Brian, my oldest sister Haley, and my other older sister Kate. I'm Jacob (Jake) Shaw. We lived in a one story house with three very small bedrooms, one bathroom, a one person kitchen, and a small living room. When we moved in, the house was already in pretty bad shape, but it was all my parents could afford at the time. You see my dad worked at a convenient store because no one else would hire him. He never went to college and dropped out of high school and had no experience in pretty much anything. My mom didn't actually have a job either; she was a stay at home mom for a while since she had three kids to take care of. My parents were high school sweethearts and were madly in love until they had us. First Haley came along and my parents adored her. She had rich chocolate hair that curled at the ends and emerald green eyes. Two years later my other sister Kate was born. She was just the opposite of Haley and always had been. She had long blond hair and eyes that looked gold in the light. But even she knew Haley was the favorite daughter at a young age. I was born four years later, because mom wanted a baby boy so they tried for one more. My dad on the other hand was content with just two kids but of course my mom persisted. I have the same blond hair as Kate but bright blue eyes like my father. We seemed like the perfect family, a little poor but making it work. But once I was around the age of five I noticed the fighting had started. My dad's job wasn't supporting us enough and we were always low on money. Sometimes my mother wouldn't be able to go to the market for a month, and when she did go she could only get the necessary things like milk, eggs, and bread. We didn't have many toys to play with either. My mother was always complaining to my dad about how bad our life was and how he needed to find a better job and quit drinking. My father wasn't exactly an alcoholic, but he did like to have a few beers every night after a day at work. That really pissed my mother off. She told him he was a bad example to his kids. I hated hearing them fight at night. Although I wouldn't understand what they were fighting about until I was older, I knew it was bad and it hurt to see them like that. But Kate was hurt the most by them in more ways then one, which eventually would lead to her death.
All three of us knew who are parents liked the most, or actually how we were ranked to them. Haley was the favorite mostly because she was the first born but also because she always brought home good grades, was polite, and a well-rounded person. I was second because I was the baby of the family and I was cute. I wasn't a bad student myself and I was polite when I had to be but I would get into trouble now and then. Then there was Kate. Our parents did love her but they didn't always act like they did. The thing with Kate was that the second my parents found out they were pregnant with her they decided they didn't like her. Later we would all find out she was never supposed to happen. She was unwanted. Our parents just acted like Kate was a burden and they knew they couldn't get rid of her. Kate wasn't the kind of person who would just let someone push her around; she would fight back just as hard until she collapsed. That's what really scared our parents. Even at a young age she would argue with them, and yell when they wouldn't listen to her. She was just a very strong person, even when some arguments would get out of hand, she would push through the tears. Our dad started abusing Kate when I was ten and Kate was fourteen. He would hit her and punch her when she misbehaved or talked back. He said it was they only way he could control her. Our mother was too scared to intervene, so she just stood by and watched. Sometimes I'd look at her and see tears rolling down her rosy cheeks as this went on. Even I didn't do anything to stop the abuse. I thought I would get hit if I tried to stop it or get in my father's way. Haley ignored it all and tried to pretend she wasn't a part of our family. I think she was too ashamed to be seen with us. A lot of times she would leave for the night after studying and sleep at her friend's house so she wouldn't have to deal with us. And she was smart to do that.
Kate and I had always been really close. She could always make my smile or laugh when I was having a bad day. To this day I still don't understand how she had such a great sense of humor even with all the bad things that surrounded her. She was just a breath of fresh air some days. Our bedrooms were right next to each other so some nights when I couldn't fall asleep I would softly knock on her wall from my bed and, five seconds later she would be sitting on the end of my bed cross-legged. She would tell me the most detailed bedtime stories or just tell me some jokes to make me laugh. Then there were nights were we just talked about everything that was happening. Sometimes I felt as if she was my only friend, and the only person who really understood me.