Non me lo so spiegare
Disclaimer: I do not own The mentalist. Bruno Heller does and sometimes he's just not my favorite person in the world.
The whole situation takes me into some kind of a trance. Not the one where you're deeply relax and comfortable. Just the one in which you're biting down your anger so hard your jaw starts to hurt. They have been dating for nearly a year now and it was expected to happen but honestly, I dreaded the mere thought of it.
As of last night a diamond has been place on her finger, clearly cut to mirror his intentions; a wordless shout that says 'she's taken'. He is possessive after all, just in a classy-flashy kind of way; the subtle way that appeals to her.
While appreciating the stone from the comfort of my couch I can't help but to play absently with my own. Just as mine ties me to the past and restrains me from a future so does hers. It ties her to something of her own, a future I won't be part of. The realization makes me uncomfortable, nauseous, and it makes me wonder: If I dare to take mine off, would hers vanish? Would that gesture detaches us from whatever holding we might be bound to, emotionally or physically? No, I doubt it. Things are not that simple.
It was torture to see her flirting with him around the office. The phone calls, the dressed up dates; that was somewhat bearable. But to watch her walking around displaying that ring its plain agony. It's constant reminder that any kind of hope I had left dangles on a string, slipping in slow motion, allowing me to savor every moment against my will leaving a bitter after taste behind.
"We have a case" Cho tells me as he passes by me, heading straight to the fishbowl. I nod absently and my gaze lingers on her; she's on her mobile, displaying that damned band unintentionally with a smile on her lips.
A couple of hand gestures from my part catch her attention and I motion with my head towards the center of the room where the briefing is intended. She nods and signals me to wait as she says her good-byes, hiding her face from view. This puzzles me, she seems content with anything that has to do with agent Pike as long as I'm not involve in the equation in any way. Why is she afraid I might do something to spoil things for her? I'm aware that it's precisely that course of action the one that would take me out of her life for good. She made it perfectly clear on that flight when we stared to work at the FBI. Therefore, I am trying to be happy for her. She deserves the attention, the flashy dates, the details; as the bouquet of red roses on her desk.
She stands from her seat and I mimic her action heading to the briefing behind her.
"Congratulations on the…" the word just won't come out, I can't spell it. My tongue refuses to, so I motion to her hand.
Yes, she had been engaged before and backed out. But that had been a lifetime ago, she was young and had aspirations to fulfill. Now it is different, she has no reason to back out of it. Her reputation precedes her, career wise she has accomplished more than any other agent at her age and she is finally ready to settle.
She lowers her head, covering her right hand with her left. "Thank you…" she murmurs under her breath. Her body language gives her away, to avoid the topic it's the goal so she fastens her pace and before I can open my mouth again we reach our destination as the briefing starts.