Title: Hell, Yes
Author: TheTrueAwesomeness
Rating: K+
Setting: Alternate Universe
Pairings: Sakura X Sasuke
Genre: Romance, Humor and Supernatural
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any characters from Naruto. Nor do I own Mythology, does anyone own Mythology? Whatever, this story, is mine.
Summary: Sakura was determined. Nothing from Heaven and Earth could move her from her stand - she was not going to be involved with any more men. No relationships, nuh-uh. Little did she know that when she said that, a bored, mysterious man with eyes as dark as onyx was watching her. Little did she know that as he did, he smirked and asked himself "What about something from Hell?"
Prologue
"I've had enough, Ino-pig," a buzzed, twenty-two-year-old pink-haired lady said to her concerned best friend. Blue eyes watched her as she took another unnecessarily large gulp of sake.
"I've had enough," she repeated, this time with a bit more conviction.
"Oh, you've definitely had enough, Forehead," Ino said, reaching for the bottle of sake with nearly depleted contents that the pinkette was trying to pour into her cup; her cup that had been emptied too many times to count. The blond's hand was swatted away with more force than she knew her best friend possessed.
"No! I wasn't pertaining to this." Sakura shook the nearly empty bottle, "Sake is our friend. Sake is goooooood."
Obviously her shisui was a big influence in her life.
She hiccuped.
"Men, on the other hand..." She slurred, trying to find the right words. "Men are vile. They are abominable, solipsistic and conceited. They are deceitful. They are foolhardy yet domineering. They act courageously but in truth are pusillanimous."
Ino rolled her eyes. Leave it to Sakura to use big words when she's drunk.
"Not to mention," she paused, her nose crinkling, as if what she was about to say were the most horrible thing in the world, "most of them are hairy and smell!"
At this the blond had to laugh. "So what, Forehead? It's not like you can swear off men. I mean, I know you don't swing that way. And you sort of need them, you know, to fulfill that dream of yours to have children. Last time I checked humans are incapable of parthenogenesis."
There was a brief moment of silence.
"Besides, just because Kiba is an idiot and did what he did to you doesn't mean that all men are bad. Like I said, men and having relationships with them are not things you can easily isolate yourself from, especially not on a liquor-induced whim."
Ino did not like the glint she saw in the pinkette's eyes.
"That's it, Ino-pig! You're a genius!"
Blue eyes narrowed, "What?"
"I'll just swear off guys!" Sakura said it as if it were the most simple thing in the world.
"I said you can't swear off guys, Fore-"
"I've had it with men and bad relationships. I've had it with guys who don't know how to treat women properly." The pink-haired girl stood up, swaying a bit as she did. Her best friend put a hand on her shoulder to steady her, but that hand was shrugged off as the pinkette climbed the chair she was sitting on and eventually stood proudly on top of their table.
"Forehead, what the hell are you doing?" Ino hissed. Her hissing fell on deaf, drunken ears however.
"Hear ye, hear ye, fellow pub-goers" the smashed pinkette announced to the bar, tilting forwards, backwards and then side-to-side every so often. Ino watched her best friend, making sure she wasn't going to fall off. Boy, was she grateful that they chose to drink in a bar that barely had any customers. Most of the customers that were there were as intoxicated as the pink-haired lady and didn't find her behavior out of the ordinary.
In fact, a few of them acknowledged her with shouts of their own. The blue-eyed woman even heard one person shush, turn to his blubbering friend and say, "The queen is about to speak."
"Thank you." She heard her best friend say as soon as the bar had quieted down. There was a hiccup. "I would just like to announce that," Another hiccup "I, Haruno Sakura, am swearing off men!" There were a few amens from a couple of drunk girls at the end of the bar who Ino was certain were drinking themselves into oblivion for the same reason Sakura was.
Cheers erupted from the few people in the bar with them. Ino was certain that not all of them understood what they were cheering about. The cheers only served to spur the pink-haired woman on.
"I am done with men," she said with more determination in her voice than the blond ever heard her have, even while sober. "Nothing from Heaven and Earth can move me from my stand."
"All hail, Queen Sakura!" another random stranger screamed. Pretty soon everyone was shouting it.
Ino face palmed as the pinkette, or rather, the Queen, began to lead a mob of fellow drunks - a few of them men - in a horrifying rendition of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
Little did Sakura know that her fellow bar-patriots were not the only people who saw her make her vow.
No.
In a land where the sunlight paid no visits, an expanse of darkness and shadows and whispered curses, a place where the only sounds to be heard were the anguished cries of those unfortunate souls who were condemned to spend all eternity writhing in pain and sobbing from intense misery, there was a being with raven-hair in the shape of a majestic chicken's ass and eyes blacker than any onyx.
This mysterious being sat in front of a shiny black mirror; the mirror reminiscent of those 60-inch flat screen LED TV's we have in this world. Only this "TV" was much more massive, and was not operated by electricity and a multitude light emitting diodes, but by a force that only few humans believe in, and even fewer comprehend. And those fewer people who comprehend don't even understand it completely.
This being sitting in front of the psuedotelevision, for the first time in a long while, had a smirk on his face.
In that dark dark world of his, it was immensely hard to find something that piqued his interest. He was fed up with torturing souls. He was tired of the wails of agony. Heck, building up the hopes of shadows by telling them that they might someday leave the place only to crush their hopes, ultimately destroying their already fragile psyches didn't give him the same joy it used to.
To put it shortly, this mysterious being was bored. So incredibly bored.
That's how he ended up in front of his mirror. Again. The only things that interested him now were those that could not be found in his world. He frequented looking into the place called Earth and found himself incredibly fascinated by everything, particularly by the humans that walk upon it. It was appalling to think that this was what the shadows in his land were like before their demise. That they had thoughts, aspirations and hopes, and those things called "feelings".
Now all they had was fear. Fear and pain.
He snapped his fingers and the mirror in front of him changed from black to multicolored.
The image was hazy for a while, the colors mixing, forming and reforming shapes, before it focused and he peered into the world that was unlike his own. It was nighttime, but he could still make out tall green trees and blooming flowers. He saw a number of homes and shops, and at the far end, a mountain with four faces chiseled into it. He couldn't help but note that he had never come across those faces in his territory. He supposed they were one of those. The good people.
He looked to the top right corner of the mirror and saw the words "Konoha, Japan". He hoped that he would find particularly interesting human from this random area his mirror showed. The last time he used the mirror he was utterly disappointed, but he supposed that the Sahara Desert was a sparsely populated area. At least this place had houses.
The image on the psuedotelevision changed, giving the impression of a camera scanning the area. Most buildings, he noted, were unlit. Save for one. The building was put into focus and enlarged. Inside he saw tables where a few humans sat, holding cups of clear liquid. Most of the people were unable to keep the contents of their cups from sloshing out. He listened. Almost none of them could speak properly.
He knew then that he was staring at a bar. Interesting.
A flash of pink from one of the tables caught his eye. Pink? Was that a human with pink hair?
The mirror then showed a pink-haired girl with jade eyes. She was drinking with a blond-haired female.
He was just about to peg her as ordinary, besides having a strange hue for her hair, when he heard her overly-intoxicated voice say, "I've had enough, Ino-pig."
He watched on.
By the time she started singing loudly, swinging her arms about her while she stood on top of the table she had been sitting at, he was already smirking. It had been quite a long time since he went to Earth, the people then were still at each other's throats. That was the only reason he went, to see for himself why the population in his world was increasing so drastically in such a short period of time. Perhaps that was why he was so bored. This was the first time in years that a smirk graced his lips. It was all because of the strange pink-haired girl and her vow that unintentionally made him feel as if he was being challenged.
She did say that nothing from Heaven and Earth could move her from her stand, that she had had enough of both men and relationships. He couldn't help but wonder, as his limbs tingled with a sort of excitement he had not felt in a long while, "What about something from Hell?"
Call it trivial. Call it boredom. Call it desperation to escape said boredom.
But at that moment the being, normally known as Hades or Pluto, knew he was to visit Earth, particularly a town called Konoha, soon.
A/N: Okaaaaaaaay. I've started another fic. I shall update all my other stories soon. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this story. But it was very fun to write. HAHAHAHA. Sasuke = Hades. HAHAHAHAHA. I don't know why I find it funny. I'm not going to make him exactly like Hades. This is my story, so I get to decide every little detail about every little thing. YAAAAY! XD But anyways, I hoped you liked it. If you did, please let me know. If you didn't, let me know as well. If you think I should continue, or have suggestions or questions, well, review. =)