Disclaimer- The canonic characters are the creation of Tolkien. I just borrow them.
Sorry to all readers and reviewers who liked the first version – it simply did not work out with Mornel and Dior's twins. Hence I am going with canon and having the story set in Mandos as a stand-alone fic outside the Mornel-AU. In this fic, I am going with the version that the Feanor did not accidently burn Amrod to death at Losgar.
Also posted on Archive of Our Own.
Rated for some language – foul-mouthed Celegorm.
1. Babes in the Woods
Dying fucking hurts. Funny. I should have expected it. I guess it was the adrenaline. It was only after Dior was lying dead in a pool of his own blood on his throne room floor that it occurred to me that some of that blood might be mine. Messy business, a chest wound. Curufin would have deemed it a most undignified end. I was choking on blood much like a stricken deer fighting for both life and freedom at the end of the hunt. It took a while before my fea finally yanked free of my ravaged hroa.
It was as if a red veil had been lifted from my eyes, a battle-madness which had fallen over me when no word was sent from Dior in reply to Maedhros' demand. We had led the first charge, Moryo, Curvo and I, ignoring Nelyo's command to hold back. I saw Moryo stumble under a lucky swing from a Sindarin club. Lost sight of Curvo shortly after.
There was an odd lightness – of course, no weighty hroa now. The battle was over. The Ambarussa were on either side of my corpse, still trying to staunch the blood which has already ceased pumping. In the snowy courtyard, a bloodstained Maedhros nonchalantly yanked arrows from Curvo's corpse as Maglor laid Moryo on a pile of brushwood. A funeral pyre, my addled mind informed me. I was flying through the air with ever quickening speed and I was not alone. All around I sensed others – confused, angry, in pain – all headed for the legendary Halls of Mandos.
I recalled the Light of the Trees filtering between the tall trees of Lord Orome's woods. I recalled Irisse's twinkling laughter as she spurred her steed past me. I remembered my mentor, Lord Orome, teaching me the secret ways of the woods. I ached at the memory of curling up content beside Huan after a day's hunt. Those were the days of innocence long lost to me. The memories which followed these were far less pleasant.
Not very sure how long it took for me to actually arrive in the Halls. One moment I was flying through the frigging air watching my life flash before my eyes, the next I was landing smack on my ass on a freezing-cold floor, next to a very bewildered Curvo. Deal with it, bro. We're dead. That was when I remembered that fucking Oath and oh, crap. If the Silmaril was not on Dior when I stabbed him in the throat – and if our brothers did not find it in Doriath, it was to the Void with us.
There was no way in Arda I was allowing Mandos to kick me into the Void without a fight. Not very proud to say it, but I bolted like a scared rabbit. Finrod the Honorable came shambling out from the shadows with his retinue. Someone made a grab for my cloak but I tore free of it. Hope they are feeling generous with Curvo. I was not sticking around to find out. That coup was Curufin's idea in the first place. Don't blame us if you chose to run about with your human friend, cousin.
After running past more elves and down more halls, I found myself in some weird forest. It was dark, shadowy and downright creepy. The gnarled trees were ancient. They seemed to be fossilized and very dead. Figures Lord Namo would have dead trees in his garden. I looked up hoping to catch a glimpse of the sky or roof but all I saw was the darkness of the canopy. As I pushed through the thick underbrush I heard whispers all around. Fear made my chest seize up and the gaping wound ached all the more. Suddenly being torn apart by Finrod's retainers seemed the lesser evil. Soon I lost all sense of direction and time. It seemed I was wandering for an eternity. Only weariness existed.
"I want my nana!" a child's voice sobbed.
"I wanna go home!" another wailed. Elflings in the woods?
I approached the source of the voices. There were two of them at least, and they reminded me of the time the Ambarussa ventured far out into the woods alone and got lost. I found them with Huan's aid. They were sobbing under a tree, begging me to take them home to amme and promising never to run off alone again. Amrod had broken his ankle falling from a tree and was unable to walk. I had to carry him on my back. To keep his mind off the pain, I told them of the joys of the hunt and the woods. Afterwards, they had sought lessons from both me and Lord Orome.
I found them in a clearing and for a moment, my heart twisted at the memory of my little brothers. The Ambarussa had been of the same age as these elflings when they were lost in the woods behind Grandfather Mahtan's house. Like the Ambarussa, they must be terrified. True enough, they clung to each other fearfully as I approached them.
Lifting my hands to show I meant no harm, I spoke softly so as not to startle them.
"It's alright now, let's get you to your naneth," I lied. I did not think informing them they were in Mandos would make it easier for them. I wished Lord Namo or his Maiar would just pop up now.
The elflings were lightly-dressed in plain tunics. They were a bit grimy from the forest. Without realizing it, I knelt down and wiped the tears and dirt from their faces with my sleeve. The hair under the dirt was silvery and they were so alike they could only be brothers, no, twins.
Crap, Eru Iluvatar must be having some jest at my expense. Perhaps I should drop everything and run off before Dior shows up for his sons. But Mandos or not, I cannot leave them like this. They did not seem to have been killed in the Sack but surely this forgotten corner of Mandos' realm was never meant for elflings.
"Hey, Mandos! Anyone? Some moron left some elflings here!" I bellowed into the trees but there was no reply. "Lord Namo, you idiot! Come get us!"
"Don't!" one twin bleated and clapped a hand over my mouth.
"The big scary elf will come. We run and hide from him," the other added.
Of course, the sight of Lord Namo would have terrified the young ones. Grandfather Mahtan told me I had cried out in fear once as an elfling when the Vala made a rare appearance at a festival on Taniquetil. Odd, but Morgoth had seemed the lesser bogeyman back then. I recalled that after his release, there had been multitudes of elves from all walks of life eager to learn from his wisdom. Atto had stood out then for his rejection of Morgoth. In Beleriand, children had been taught to fear both. Morgoth more so. Mandos was a shadowy place from which, to the Sindar and Silvans, none may return.
"He is not that bad," I forced a smile. "If he were, he would be here spanking me for saying bad things about him." I wished he would indeed show up to take charge of the twins before condemning me to the Void. These two innocent ones might have indeed met their end as a result of the Sack, the one I urged Nelyo to embark on. I dared not ask.
"Does that hurt?" Two pairs of eyes goggled at my bloodied chest. Crap. I was still trying to figure out the dynamics of being in the Halls. Wounds which should be mortal are endured. I tried to picture the wound healed. I felt a weird warm feeling. There was no pain but the wound remained like an ugly sore.
"Not at all." I sat down, giving in to exhaustion.
"We were cold and hungry but now we are not…"
"Maybe we're still cold…" one twin snuggled close to my body for warmth. His twin swiftly copied his example. Great, I had my enemy's sons snuggled up to me like a pair of puppies.
"I am Elurin," one pup remembered to introduce himself.
"Elured," the other yawned. Soon I was staring into the darkness with two sleeping elflings cuddled up to me, the same way the Ambarussa had cuddled up to Huan as elflings. We had teased them so much about it back then. I hope they are coping well enough back in Beleriand.
Ditch the fucking brats. Their father killed you…
You can't leave them alone here… You must help them find their parents…
And their ada will kill you again, if that is possible. They are not your little brothers. Mandos will kick your ass into the Void where no doubt Moryo and Curvo are now with Atto. Curvo will be so happy to be with Atto. Atto's death hit him the worst.
Oh Eru, they even have the Ambarussa's quaint little habit of sucking each other's thumbs as they sleep. I cannot leave them here.
No one knew how true the old tales were of Lord Namo's realm. No one mentioned a fucking creepy forest. I never met anyone who would enlighten me as to what life or death is like in the Halls. Did orcs and other dangerous beasts wander the dark corners away from Namo's throne? The Halls were said to be vast.
Author's Notes:
I picture Celegorm as being a kinder elf before the Oath. He would have been the logical big brother for the twins to look up to when hunting. On the other hand, he did just leave little bro Curufin to face Finrod and his retainers (the bunch who got chewed on by Sauron's werewolves).