All's Fair in Love and Fae
By
Alobear
Category: Slash
Pairing: Daniel Jackson / Jack O'Neill
Author's Notes: This story was written for the J/D Ficathon in July 2015, from a prompt from justhuman. The prompt was for an established relationship Lost Girl crossover, and preferably taking Jack and Daniel right out of the Stargate environment. So, here we are – this is waaaaaaaaaay AU for the Stargate characters, as I've inserted them fully into the Lost Girl universe – I hope the story fulfils requirements!
Major thanks to unbelievable2 for a speedy and very thorough beta – any remaining mistakes are entirely mine.
[Note for readers unfamiliar with Lost Girl – Bo is a succubus who drains live energy from people during sexual activity. She can then use that power to influence people's actions through touch. Kenzi is her loyal and ebullient human sidekick. The fae world is split into two factions – Light and Dark – though neither should be trusted. All fae are supposed to declare allegiance to one or the other, but Bo remains unaligned, and follows her own path. Traditionally, fae view humans either as food or slaves, but Bo diverges from this too, as she was raised by humans.]
XXXXX
It was mid-afternoon and business at The Dal had yet to pick up to its evening bustle. Kenzi and Bo were enjoying a quiet drink at their usual table, but Kenzi was starting to get a little bored. Things had been very slow on the investigation front for the last few days, and she thought Bo and Dyson were fighting again, based on Bo's uncharacteristic silence and the lack of hunky werewolf anywhere in the vicinity. Bo had her long dark hair pulled back into a messy bun and was wearing much looser clothing than usual, which added to Kenzi's suspicions that she wasn't trying to impress anyone today. Kenzi had responded by going all out with a bright pink wig and the tightest corset she owned, paired with a tiny pleated skirt and her chunkiest platform boots.
Kenzi's drink was halfway to her mouth when she spotted someone coming through the front door of the bar, and her hand froze in mid-air for a moment before she lowered the glass slowly back down to the table. The man entering commanded attention, his bearing confident and his expression imperious as his gaze swept the room. He was dressed in jeans and a short leather jacket and his gait as he moved towards the bar was relaxed but suggestive of concealed power. His features were ruggedly handsome, complemented by short, silvered hair. Close on his heels, a younger man followed him into the room, his appearance making Kenzi's breath catch in her throat. Whereas the first man was fairly attractive, his companion was positively drool-worthy. Shaggy brown hair caressed the tops of his ears, framing a beautiful face with piercing blue eyes. He moved with athletic grace, a half-smile playing across his full lips. His dress sense suggested he might be a man after her own heart; biker boots, tight leather pants and a tooled leather waistcoat open over a black shirt.
"Come to momma," Kenzi murmured, causing Bo to look round to see what had prompted her reaction.
Then Kenzi noticed something she hadn't spotted at first glance, which made her attitude to the situation change dramatically. The man in front dangled the end of a metal link chain casually from his fingertips. The chain led up to where it was connected to a wide leather collar round younger man's throat.
"Yeuch," she exclaimed in disgust. "So much for that fantasy. Nothing like a bit of slavery to really turn a girl off."
Bo returned her attention to her drink, apparently losing interest, while Kenzi kept watching. The pair of newcomers approached the bar, where Trick was regarding them, his expression impassive.
The older man threw him a sardonic grin, and quipped, "How's tricks?"
Trick rolled his eyes. "Yeah, 'cause that never gets old. Long time, no see, Jack."
"I've been out of town on family business," Jack drawled. He leaned forwards slightly and lowered his voice, so Kenzi could no longer make out what he was saying.
Her interest was further piqued, however, when Trick gestured to their table, and Jack glanced over his shoulder to look directly at her. He waited a few moments while Trick poured two drinks, which were collected by his chained companion. Then, the two of them made their way deliberately towards Kenzi and Bo.
"Heads up," Kenzi remarked to Bo, nodding towards the two men. "Incoming."
Bo looked up again and plastered a pleasant expression on her face as the newcomers approached.
"Can we help you?" she asked.
Jack slid onto the bench opposite them without ceremony, his companion carefully setting down their drinks before sitting next to him. Jack's expression was friendly.
"The name's O'Neill," he said. "Jack O'Neill – two Ls."
"Bo," the succubus said, "and this is my friend, Kenzi." There was slight emphasis on the word 'friend', which Kenzi appreciated even while she questioned its wisdom.
"A human," Jack commented drily. "How novel."
"You've got one," Bo pointed out, her tone just barely neutral.
"Ah, yes," Jack said, as if only just remembering his companion was there. "This is Daniel."
Daniel inclined his head, saying nothing, but the smile he threw Kenzi was amused. She couldn't work out the dynamic between them at all. The chain spoke to a definite sense of ownership on Jack's part, but Daniel was completely relaxed and seemed entirely unconcerned by his apparent status. Kenzi still found herself very much on edge at times amongst the fae, so she assumed whatever their relationship was, it must be quite long-standing.
"And you've sought us out because…?" Bo prompted.
"I have a bit of a mystery on my hands," Jack said, "and I'm told you have a good track record for solving those."
"You have absolutely come to the right place," Kenzi jumped in, excited by the prospect of a job. "Our rates are reasonable and our references are excellent."
Jack raised his eyebrows at that, and Daniel actually chuckled.
"I have no doubt," Jack said. "So, will you take our case?"
Kenzi was interested to note the use of 'our', and wondered if it was deliberate or a slip. Either way, she was still very confused by these two.
"Depends on the nature of the mystery," Bo said. "We'll need more information before we decide if we can help you. First off – what flavour are you, light or dark?"
Jack bristled slightly. "I thought you were unaligned," he said.
"I am," Bo replied, "but I like to know which side I'm working for, so I know what to expect."
"That I'll be all fluffy if I'm light, but might stab you in the back if I'm dark?" There was a definite challenge in Jack's voice.
Bo was ever so slightly flustered by his forthrightness. "No, I…"
"Stop being such an ass, Jack." Daniel spoke for the first time, surprising the hell out of Kenzi with his admonishing tone. He turned towards them. "He's light fae – a kirin. He can reveal memories that have been hidden or blocked." He threw an infuriated glance at Jack. "Which is why there's absolutely no reason for us to be here."
"Daniel…" Kenzi heard a whole wealth of different overtones in that one word from Jack – frustration, warning, affection.
"Jack…" There was equal complexity in the response – defiance, exasperation, love.
Kenzi looked from one to the other, fascinated by the silent interplay, as the two men glared at each other.
Eventually, Bo cleared her throat pointedly and they both turned their attention back to her. "Does one of you want to actually tell us how we can help?"
Jack stole a surreptitious look at Daniel, then asked, "Is there anywhere more private we can talk?"
Kenzi and Bo shared a glance, Kenzi shrugging in answer to Bo's raised eyebrow. Jack and Daniel weren't the only ones who could communicate volumes without really trying.
"Our office isn't far from here," Bo said. "We can discuss the details there."
They all got up from the table, the chinking of the chain from Daniel's collar sending a shiver down Kenzi's spine. She wondered if taking a case from these guys was such a good idea, but figured Bo would be able to handle anything untoward they threw at her. Besides, they could really use the cash and Kenzi was dying to find out more about the two men, in any case.
Bo lived up to Kenzi's expectations the moment they crossed the threshold of the refurbished crack shack, rounding immediately on Jack.
"First things first," she said firmly, indicating Daniel. "Release him. I won't have a human chained under my roof."
To Kenzi's surprise, Daniel immediately burst out laughing. He reached up to the back of his neck and unfastened the collar, pulling it free and rolling his head from side to side.
"This is just to keep the traditionalists happy when we go out in public," he said, his eyes sparkling. "Jack doesn't really hold with that 'humans are property' crap – we just play the part to avoid unnecessary trouble."
Kenzi was unconvinced. "Doesn't it bother you, though, to be on a leash, even if you can get out of it when you want?"
Daniel shrugged. "I know it's just for show," he said, and grinned at her mischievously. "Besides, I enjoy playing with the toys in other contexts – though it's usually me tying up Jack when we're at home…"
"Uh, Daniel…" Jack said warningly, though there was no real censure in his tone. In fact, his whole demeanour had changed as soon as they were out of the public eye. He regarded Daniel with open affection, handing him the other end of the chain to wrap around the now disconnected collar. "I'm sure these ladies don't need to know the intimate details of our love life."
Kenzi boggled at them both. Their relationship was clearly much more complicated than it had first appeared, and she found herself warming to them. She also thought she would actually love to know the intimate details of their love life, but didn't say so.
"Why reveal the deception to us?" Bo wanted to know.
Jack waved a hand, indicating both Kenzi and Bo.
"It's pretty obvious you have as relaxed an attitude to your human as I do to mine," he said.
Kenzi felt Bo bristle at her side.
"Kenzi is my friend, not my human," she all but growled.
"My point exactly," Jack said, breezily. "And no offence meant. It's not easy throwing off centuries of ingrained bigotry. Daniel's been working on me for years, but he's battling a very, very long tradition of viewing humans as objects – or worse – in my family."
Daniel reached up to squeeze Jack's shoulder. "You do okay," he said, softly.
"Anyway," Jack said, clapping his hands together. "Enough about the rigidness of fae society. I believe we had some business to discuss."
"Uh-uh," Kenzi said, not wanting to stem the flow of information just yet. "We're still deciding whether or not we want to take you on as clients, and as a fae-adjacent human myself, I'm dying to know how the two of you met."
"Daniel curates my family's art collection," Jack said.
Kenzi's eyes widened. "Your family has an art collection so big it needs its own curator?"
Jack nodded. "When you live as long as some fae do, you tend to pick up a few things here and there along the way."
"Not that you'd know," Daniel scoffed. "When did you ever set foot inside the gallery before you started sniffing around me?" He raised a hand to block Jack's view and stage-whispered to Kenzi, "Jack's not exactly a connoisseur of the finer things in life."
"Hey!" Jack protested. "I recognised you as one of the finer things in life, easily enough." An expression of smug pride crossed his face. "Daniel has three PhDs, you know."
"Ooh, hot and brainy!" Kenzi exclaimed with an appreciative grin. "Double yowzer!"
Bo smacked her on the arm. "Kenzi!" she admonished.
Jack just grinned back. "My sentiments exactly," he said.
Daniel glared at him. "When you've quite finished showing me off like some kind of prize pony…" he started, but Jack interrupted him with a raised finger.
"Ah! No point trying to hide your light under a bushel, Danny-boy."
"Not possible," Kenzi murmured, earning another grin from Jack and a glare from Bo.
By this time, Daniel was getting decidedly pink. He cleared his throat decisively and centred his attention entirely on Bo, pointedly ignoring the other two.
"Perhaps we could tell you why we're here?" he pleaded.
"Go ahead," Bo said, waving at the two stools that stood next to the breakfast bar.
Jack and Daniel both sat down, while Bo leaned against the kitchen counter and Kenzi hopped up to sit next to her.
Jack glanced at Daniel, his demeanour suddenly tense. "Do you want to explain, or shall I?"
Daniel crossed his arms over his chest in a defensive gesture, his eyes dropping to the scratched wood of the bar. "This was your idea," he muttered.
Jack sighed and looked back up at Kenzi and Bo, his expression set.
"I've been out of town for a few weeks, dealing with some family stuff," he began. "I was actually just finishing up when Daniel called me yesterday in a panic and I came straight home."
Kenzi was watching Daniel closely. His shoulders were hunched and he shifted uncomfortably on his stool. Jack evidently noticed too, because he reached out and patted Daniel's arm.
"When I got there," Jack continued, "Daniel explained that some Egyptian doohickey or other had gone missing…"
"It's an ancient Egyptian golden ceremonial dagger, which is one of only a very few examples of undamaged cloisonné from that part of the world," Daniel interrupted. "It's priceless."
"I've already told you I don't give a crap about the dagger, Danny," Jack said, gently. "That's not what this is about."
"And I've already told you there's a perfectly simple way to get to the bottom of this," Daniel replied, hotly. "We're wasting time, when we could be getting answers!"
"How many times do I have to say that I won't use my powers on you?" Jack demanded. "It's not worth the risk."
"And I say it is!"
Kenzi got the distinct impression that this wasn't the first time they'd had this argument.
Bo threw her hands up. "Hey, hey, time out!" she called. "Why don't we hear the rest of the story and then decide what's the best thing to do?"
Daniel looked mutinous, but subsided.
"Don't you guys have a security system or anything?" Kenzi wanted to know. "If you've got all this valuable art and shit lying around, I'd think you'd have alarms and cameras and stuff."
"That's exactly the problem," Jack sighed. "We do have a security system, but it didn't help. Because the cameras show Daniel switching the system off, taking the dagger out of its case and leaving the building with it."
"And I don't have any memories of doing so," Daniel said. "Which is why Jack should stop messing about and just dig them out of my brain!"
Jack appealed to Bo and Kenzi. "The process of using my powers is incredibly painful," he said. "Even fae find it nearly unbearable, so it's only used as a last resort, and I've never tried it on a human. I think it's pretty likely it would do permanent damage, and I'm not prepared to put Daniel at risk. I thought you might have other ways to figure out what happened."
"That we do," Kenzi said, brightly. "What do you think, Bo-Bo? Should we help these fine gentlemen out of their pickle?"
"Indeed we should," Bo replied, then regarded Daniel seriously. "First of all, we need to establish as much of a timeline as we can. What's the last thing you remember before taking the dagger, and the first thing you remember after?"
Daniel raised one hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I spent the morning at the house. Then, about half-past twelve, I went out to grab some lunch. The next thing I remember was coming to on a bench in the park, and it was nearly three."
Jack spoke up. "The security tape shows Daniel coming back to the house at ten to one, grabbing the dagger and then skedaddling again."
"So, we've got just over an hour unaccounted for before the theft, and then another two afterwards," Bo calculated. "Where did you go for lunch?"
"There's a really good deli on the far side of the park from the house," Daniel said. "I like to walk there some days, buy a sandwich and eat it in the park."
Kenzi took over the questioning. "And you don't remember getting to the deli?"
"No." Daniel sighed heavily, and Jack reached up to put a hand on his shoulder, massaging gently. Kenzi saw Daniel lean into the contact slightly, drawing comfort. "I remember leaving the house, with the intention of going there, but everything after that is a blank until I woke up in the park."
"Okay." Bo sounded decisive. "Something obviously happened between you leaving the house and reaching the deli. So, here's what we're going to do. Daniel and I will head to the deli and check if anyone saw anything. If we don't get any hits there, we'll retrace the journey from there back to the house."
"What do you want me to do?" Kenzi asked, unwilling to be left out of the investigation.
Bo considered for a moment. "Why don't you go with Jack to his house, poke around, watch the security video – see if you can pick up any clues. Daniel and I will meet you back there once we're done." She glanced at Jack. "Okay by you?"
Jack looked a little uncertain. "I guess," he said, raising his eyebrows speculatively at Daniel.
"I'll be fine, Jack," Daniel reassured him. "If this is the way we have to pursue this, then we need to do what they say."
Kenzi smiled brightly at Jack. "Bo'll take good care of him, I promise," she said, then jumped down from the counter and took his arm. "So lead on – I can't wait to see your pad!"
Jack threw another anxious look at Daniel, but allowed himself to be led away.
XXXX
Bo and Daniel entered the deli fifteen minutes later, and went up to the counter. The guy serving was big and burly, with a thick, curly, grey beard and a less than welcoming expression.
"What can I get ya?" he said, brusquely.
Bo gestured at her companion. "Do you recognise this man?" she asked.
The guy behind the counter looked taken aback by the question, but he dutifully examined Daniel and grunted an affirmative.
"Sure," he said. "Comes in a couple times a week. Ham and cheese on rye."
At least he was attentive enough to know his customers, Bo thought, though he clearly didn't cultivate any kind of personal relationship with them.
"Do you remember him coming in yesterday?" she pressed on.
The man shook his head. "Nope." Then he crossed his beefy arms over his chest. "Now, are you gonna buy something, or can I get on with my day?"
Bo reached out and traced one finger slowly down the man's arm, pushing a little power with it. His posture immediately relaxed, and he now regarded her with open admiration.
"I don't suppose you have any footage from yesterday lunchtime on that camera you have out front, do you?" Bo purred, putting on her best sex-kitten voice.
"Sure thing, honey!" The man practically fell over himself to get to the end of the counter, where there was a screen showing the view from the front of the store. "What time are you looking for?"
Bo glanced at Daniel, who was staring at her in astonishment. It took him a couple of seconds to realise she was waiting for him to answer the guy's question.
"Oh, right," he said. "It would have been about 12:45 or so."
"You heard him," Bo said, knowing the man would only take instructions from her. "Show us from 12:45."
The man pushed a few buttons, and the video feed started playing, showing a partial view out over the park. A couple of minutes went by with nothing of interest, then Bo spotted a figure cutting across the grass towards the deli.
"There you are," she said to Daniel, pointing. He nodded, his shoulders tense.
They continued watching. As soon as the figure of Daniel on the screen reached the road, a black van pulled up beside him, and two large men jumped out and grabbed him. One of them reached up to jab what looked like a needle in his neck, and then they bundled him into the van and drove away. Bo looked at Daniel, who was hugging himself tightly, his expression distraught.
Turning back to the man behind the counter, she reached out to touch his hand, reasserting her influence. "Could I get a copy of that, please?" she asked sweetly.
Two minutes later, they were exiting the deli with a copy of the recording in their possession. As soon as they were clear of the door, Daniel started talking at high speed.
"That was amazing in there!" he exclaimed. "I've never seen a succubus in action before. Can you really do that to just anyone, and they'll do whatever you say? I've been fascinated by the anthropology of the fae for years. I study their powers and social structures whenever I get the opportunity, but I've never come across someone like you before!" His tone softened, as if he was suddenly talking more to himself than to her. "Defying the central dictate that every fae must declare allegiance to either the dark or the light – that's really impressive. It must have shaken up the Ash and the Morrigan pretty bad – they don't like it when people don't follow the rules. And you being so powerful – that must make them really nervous. I wonder if your example is making any of the other fae question the status quo? It would be really interesting to be able to study the destabilisation of the fae society from the inside – though I guess it would probably turn ugly real fast..."
Bo just let him rattle on. She figured it was his way to deflect the emotions that had been brought to the surface by watching himself be abducted. He didn't actually seem to require an answer to any of his many questions, so she didn't try to interrupt.
After a short walk, Daniel turned into a gated driveway and led Bo up to an impressive-looking house. The paved driveway curved up towards a double door with steps in front and columns to either side. Around it, the building stood three storeys tall, with a turret finishing off one corner. Daniel opened one half of the door and they both went inside. Apparently alerted to their presence by the sound of the door, Kenzi bounced into the foyer from a side room, a huge grin on her face. Jack trailed after her, looking weary.
"Bo-Bo!" Kenzi cried excitedly. "This place is awesome! You have got to see the library – and the ballroom– and the parlour – and the banqueting hall – and the gallery! It's got so many rooms, you could sleep in a different one every night and not get through them all in a month! Can you imagine living in a place like this? It'd be crazy – we'd probably wander around for days and never find each other." She grabbed Bo's arm and dragged her further into the space, her eyes sparkling. "I bet you could have a pretty good time in some of the bedrooms, though – the bedspreads are to die for, and you could fit about five people in some of the beds..."
Bo and Jack looked at each other in desperation and then spoke at the same time. "Does your human have an off-switch?"
XXXXX
They gathered in Daniel's office to watch the copy of the security footage from the deli. Kenzi noticed Jack grinding his teeth as he watched Daniel get hustled into the black van. Daniel seemed lost in his own thoughts, his gaze averted from the screen, but Jack was hyper-aware of him, glancing anxiously over at him every couple of seconds.
Once the recording was over, Jack turned to Bo, his expression set.
"So, what's our next move?" he asked. His dark eyes were smouldering with anger.
"Well," she replied, "the licence plate on the van is clearly visible in the recording, so I guess I speak to my contact in the police department and trace the owner." She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes at Kenzi.
"You and Dyson on the outs?" Kenzi asked.
"Kinda," Bo said. "It's complicated."
"I could call him, if you like," Kenzi offered. She knew Bo and Dyson usually didn't let their personal issues affect cases, but was happy to help out if it would avoid some awkwardness.
"No, it's okay," Bo said, resignedly. "I'll do it. I'll just be a sec." She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and stepped out of the room.
Kenzi, Jack and Daniel stared at each other for a long moment, nobody speaking.
Eventually, Jack broke the silence. "When we find out who did this, they are going to pay." His voice was low and gravelly, and Kenzi felt a shiver go down her spine. Jack might be light fae but he was evidently not a man to cross.
"Let's just wait until we get to the bottom of the whole thing before we start vowing vengeance, shall we?" Daniel's tone was placatory, which surprised Kenzi. She would have thought he'd be just as eager to get his own back as Jack.
Jack looked incredulous. "Daniel, someone dragged you right off the street, did who knows what to you, and co-erced you into stealing from me! How are you not mad as hell right now?"
"Oh, I'm mad all right," Daniel said, "but at the moment, all we can do is wait. If you're so keen to do something, why don't you go and get some refreshments or something?"
Jack stared at him, open-mouthed, for a moment, then stomped out of the room.
That left Kenzi alone with Daniel. He did look upset, which she guessed was understandable, given the circumstances. She couldn't imagine how she'd feel if she discovered she'd been abducted, apparently drugged, and had no memory of what had happened. She pasted a bright smile on her face and did her best to take his mind off it.
"So, what's it like being part of a major fae household like this?" she asked. "I don't tend to see many other humans in the Dal. I know Lauren – the doctor who works for the Ash, but is it usual for fae to have humans around?"
"Not really," Daniel replied, giving her a shy smile that suggested he was glad of the distraction. "You presumably know a lot of fae actually feed on humans, and most of the others don't exactly view humans as equals. It can be pretty dangerous moving in fae circles, which is why Jack and I use the 'property' ruse in public. It must get dicey for you sometimes, hanging out with Bo, right?"
Kenzi inspected her nails casually, putting on an arrogant front. "Oh, I can handle myself," she said. "And Bo is so kick-ass, most people don't bother us. Besides, Trick wouldn't let anything happen to me at the Dal – he's one of my biggest fans."
"Right," Daniel drawled, and Kenzi got the distinct impression he didn't really believe her. "I suppose Bo's unaligned status must put you in an interesting position. Nobody seems to know what to make of her."
"She's awesome, isn't she?" Kenzi enthused. "You seem to have snagged a good'un with Jack, too."
Daniel smiled, his eyes going soft as he thought about Jack. "Not all fae are bad," he agreed.
Bo slipped back into the room a little while later, but suggested they wait for Jack before she told them what she had found out. Jack returned not long afterwards, with a tray of drinks and biscuits, which he set down on Daniel's desk. Kenzi snaffled some treats immediately, but the others ignored the refreshments.
"So?" Jack asked, straight to the point.
"My contact traced the van," Bo told them. "It's registered to an import-export company, owned by a woman called Vala…"
"Maldoran!" Daniel and Jack exclaimed in unison.
Jack groaned. "I should have known she'd be behind this! It has her particular brand of crazy all over it. But she's never gone this far before – she is seriously going to regret this when I'm through!"
"And who is this fine upstanding citizen?" Kenzi asked.
Jack was grinding his teeth again, so Daniel stepped in to answer the question.
"Vala Maldoran is a dark fae we've had some dealings with over the years. On the surface, her company imports art and artefacts, which is how I know her. But she runs petty scams and thefts on the side, and has a whole network of contacts on the black market. She keeps her illegal activities fairly low-key, but she has caused us some problems in the past."
"She's a pain in the ass, is what she is," Jack interjected. "And she's messed with us for the last time. Kidnapping you in broad daylight is hardly low-key."
"So, what are you going to do, Jack?" Daniel wanted to know. "Report her to the Morrigan? She's not going to do anything about it, and it'll just make Vala more likely to retaliate."
"You're suggesting we just let her get away with it?" Jack spluttered. "She had her thugs lay hands on you, Daniel. And, what about your precious dagger? Don't you want to get that back?"
"Of course I do!" Daniel said. "I'm just saying, let's not start a war over it. You know what Vala's like – she doesn't mean any real harm. She just likes playing games – and you getting all outraged about it is exactly what she wants. And it's your dagger, not mine." He sighed in exasperation. "I do wish you'd take more interest in your possessions."
"That's what I have you for," Jack said, managing a grin, and Daniel rolled his eyes. "Now, I'd like to go and punch Vala through a wall. Who's with me?"
Bo made a placatory gesture. "Why don't we all go, and maybe I can help with getting her to stop hassling you?"
XXXXX
They arrived at a nondescript office building down near the docks and were shown directly into the back office. This was decorated in lavish style, with many paintings and sculptures mounted on the walls and lined up on shelves. A large leather office chair with a high back stood behind the desk, and a woman lounged in it, her feet up on the desk. She had masses of thick, dark hair piled elaborately on top of her head, and she was wearing a skin-tight black jumpsuit that left very little to the imagination. Her legs were encased in thigh-high boots with spike heels. Kenzi immediately wanted to ask where she'd bought them, but figured this probably wasn't the best time.
The woman's face split into an enormous grin as they entered, and she waved them in eagerly.
"Jack! Daniel! What a lovely surprise!" she gushed.
"Cut the crap, Vala," Jack growled. "You know exactly why we're here. Where's the dagger?"
In answer, Vala pouted, removing her feet from the desk and leaning on it with her arms, instead.
"You are just no fun at all, Jack O'Neill," she said, petulantly. "Would it kill you to play along?"
Jack ignored her words, taking a menacing step forwards. "Play? Is that what you call physically assaulting Daniel? Stealing, I expect from you, but hurting Daniel has consequences."
"Oh, stop being so melodramatic," Vala replied. "Daniel's fine. You should know I would never harm him – not permanently, at least."
"Daniel's standing right here," Daniel himself pointed out. "Did you really think we wouldn't find out you were behind this – whatever it is? You surely didn't think you'd get to keep the dagger, did you?"
"Ah, so you haven't figured out the game after all." Vala smiled again. She opened a drawer in her desk and retrieved a large golden dagger, holding it up between her hands and studying it from all angles. "It's a beautiful piece, but then I'd expect nothing less from a collection curated by the luscious Daniel Jackson. But keeping the dagger wasn't the point. Mostly, I wanted to test out a new acquisition of mine on Daniel here and, I must say, it worked wonderfully well."
"What did you do to me?" Daniel demanded.
"Oh, just injected you with a potion an acquaintance of mine cooked up," Vala replied, breezily. "Mesmer blood combined with Ortenax brain fluid – designed to get people to do whatever you tell them and then forget all about it. I assume you didn't remember anything? Otherwise, you would have been here sooner. That was the other part of it – I wanted to see how long it would take you to put the pieces together."
"Mesmer blood and…" Jack trailed off, as if he couldn't bring himself to repeat the combination. "How dare you use Daniel as a guinea pig for something so dangerous! That kind of mixture could have done any kind of damage to him!"
"I had assurances that there wouldn't be any lasting harm," Vala purred. "I wouldn't have risked damaging that amazing brain of his, just like I knew you wouldn't by using your powers on him to restore his memories. I was intrigued as to how you'd solve the mystery, and I admit I wasn't expecting you to get the unaligned succubus involved." She inclined her head towards Bo. "That was a bold move." She looked at her watch. "Just over 24 hours – not bad."
"We only got the case this afternoon, so it actually only took about 90 minutes," Kenzi countered. "Maybe you should think about making your nefarious plans a bit harder to crack."
"Is that a challenge?" Vala asked, her eyes sparkling. "I do so love a challenge!"
"No," Bo said firmly, stepping in front of Kenzi and up to the desk. "Definitely not a challenge." She held out her hand for the dagger and Vala passed it over with a shrug. As she took the item, Bo brushed her fingers across Vala's wrist, and continued, "In fact, I'd appreciate it if you left these gentlemen alone in future."
Vala's eyes widened and she leaned forwards, running her tongue across her lower lip. "Oh, well, of course. Whatever you say, beautiful." Then she sat back again and burst into peals of girlish laughter. "Do you really think I wouldn't be prepared, once I heard Jack and Daniel had hired you? I've had some of my men following them since Jack got back into town, so I had plenty of time this afternoon to acquire an anti-succubus charm." She brushed a small silver brooch that was fastened to her collar. "Your seductive tricks won't work on me, lovely." She took in all four of them with her gaze. "Judging from Jack's expression and Daniel's body language, though, I gather I might have gone a bit too far this time. So, I'm sorry, okay? The game's only fun when everyone's enjoying it. How can I make it up to you?"
"Removing yourself from our lives forever should just about do it," Jack said, every word edged in cold steel.
Vala pouted again. "That's hurtful, Jack," she said. "After all, a girl's got to find her fun somewhere, and that's all it was. No real harm done."
Jack took two steps forwards, but Bo raised an arm to block his progress. He stopped short, but glared murderously at Vala. "You call kidnapping, coercion and experimenting on humans a bit of fun? Your idea of a good time is seriously warped."
"Okay, okay, I said I'm sorry." Vala threw her hands up in surrender. "It won't happen again – you have my word."
"Like that's worth anything," Jack muttered.
"Let's just go," Daniel said, taking the recovered dagger from Bo and cradling it protectively against his chest.
Vala locked eyes with Bo. "These two I will leave alone for now," she said, "but I look forward to crossing paths with you again." She winked at Kenzi and waved again as they made their way out of their office.
XXXXX
Back at Jack's house, Bo watched as Daniel carefully replaced the dagger in its case.
"I'm sorry I couldn't influence her," she said.
"Nobody can control Vala," Jack said, resignedly. "She's a law unto herself. Don't worry about it. You figured out what happened, and that's all we asked you to do, so it was a good job well done, as far as I'm concerned."
"And we got the dagger back, too," Daniel pointed out. "That's worth a lot to me."
"Speaking of what things are worth," Kenzi said. "About our fee…"
"Ever the businesswoman, I see," Jack said, though there was a smile in his eyes. "Would you care to come through to the office to discuss final terms?"
"Lead on, good sir!" Kenzi threw him a salute.
Daniel smiled at Bo as Kenzi marched after Jack, out of the gallery.
"Quite the partner you've got there," he said.
"Oh, she's a handful all right," Bo agreed. "But worth every minute."
THE END