A/N: I know Murdock's mom had actually died when he was 5, not 7, but it's only a fiction. It was never said what Murdock's mom's name was, so I kinda just named her after her mother, whom I'm calling H. And I don't really know Murdock's father's name either. So some stuff is not quite accurate. But enjoy otherwise!
"Mom, I know. Yes mom! I will...no...no mom..."
Hannibal and Face sat at the table in the house Face had managed to scam for them, listening to B.A. talking with his mother on the phone. It was mothers day and when Hannibal had come into the kitchen, B.A. was listening to his mother's words and pretty soon Face had come wandering in.
Face, already bored with watching B.A., turned over to Hannibal. "What about you?"
Hannibal shrugged, setting his cup down. "My parents passed away a few years back."
Face slowly nodded, thinking about the mother and father he never knew. Then a thought entered his mind.
"Hey, where's Murdock?" He asked Hannibal, glancing over his shoulder as if he had some how missed the pilot.
Hannibal pondered this, his face scrunching up as he thought. "You know, he hasn't come down here all day. I think he's in his room."
"Yes, I love you too, mom." B.A. was saying.
"I'm gonna go check on him." Face lifted himself out of the chair and headed for the stairs. The room Murdock was staying in was at the very end of the hall and the door was closed.
Face pressed his ear against the wood and heard nothing, so he knocked quietly.
The door was opened almost immediatley and Face found himself looking into Murdock's big, brown eyes.
"Hey, Face." He said quietly, smiling. But Face saw through that smile. He stepped lightly into the room as Murdock moved over to let him in. "Hey, did you get any lunch?" Face asked casually.
Murdock shrugged, standing akwardly by the door, his hand still on the knob. "Er...I'm not very hungry."
"You should eat something."
"Later."
The two men met eyes and Face's were boring into Murdock's, trying to read his. Murdock realised this and quickly looked down, hitting his shoes against eachother and rapidly turning the knob back and forth.
Face went for another route. "B.A.'s still on the phone with his mother. And Hannibal isn't very upset he can't talk to his parents anymore."
Murdock finally moved, going to open his knapsack and digging around in it. "Pain heals, smiles can fix anything, and love in the heart lasts forever." He recited something.
"And what crazy fighter pilot said that one?" Face snorted, knowing Murdock got a ton of his sayings from past pilots.
But when Murdock looked up at him, his eyes wet, Face knew he'd messed up. "My mother did."
Face was silent, knowing he'd hurt Murdock's feelings, and was about to make up an excuse and leave the room when Murdock took in a deep breath.
"Do you want to know? About her?"
Nodding thoughtfully, Face backstepped and sat down in the gushy armchair in the corner of the room. He had always wondered about his fellow team members pasts, and would jump at the oppurtunity to find out. He settled down and waited patiently for Murdock to sit and begin.
The pilot must have found what he was looking for because he finally seated himself on the bed, a peice of old paper clutched in his hands.
"When I was born, my father left my mother. According to her, he had wanted nothing to do with children, and it was him or the baby. She chose me." Murdock began, staring off at a spot on the ceiling. "She raised me fine on her own, with help from her parents and her sister who had already had a baby. I was the most important thing to her, and she was always there for me. One day, my father actually came back to us for a moment..."
Flashback:
James stood on the front steps of his old wife's house, ringing the doorbell and waiting to see the face he had been thinking about for the past four years. She finally opened the door, a beautiful woman with long, strawberry colored curls and shining brown eyes. They widened and she gasped when she saw her old husband leaning against the door frame.
"J-James? But...but what are you doing here?" She asked in her bell-like voice.
"I need to see our child, Emma. Let me in, please." He pleaded, trying to see around her slim form and find the child that had caused him to leave in the first place.
She hesitated for a moment, unsure, then slowly stepped to the side.
When he saw that child sitting on the floor, a toy airplane in his hands, he immediatley moved towards the boy.
His light brown hair was a wild mess, his mother not wanting to cut it off yet. His big, brown eyes were exactly like his mother's and James saw himself even in the cheeks and nose.
"What is his name?" He asked quietly, as not to startle the child that was staring up at him with wondering eyes.
"James. James H.M. Murdock." Emma answered, closing the door and coming to pick her child up.
"Momma, who is that man?" Little Murdock's high-pitched voice asked, pointing over at his father.
Emma answered, carefully watching James. "That is your father."
James couldn't help himself as he smiled over at his curious son. He looked up at Emma, half raising his arms. "Can I?"
She seemed to put much thought into her decision, it was a few minutes before she slowly held Murdock out to his father.
James took Murdock gently, resting him in the crook of his arms. He only wished he had been around to hold Murdock when he actually was small enough to really be held. The child squirmed uneasily for a second before he must have decided he was fine in these stranger's arms.
"I made a mistake, Emma. Please, let me back into your lives."
Emma crossed her arms and glared with those peircing eyes at James. "You left, James, why should I just let you back in as if the last four years never happened?"
He sighed. "I didn't know what I was thinking, I was dumb. But I've been doing a lot of thinking and this boy is going to need a father later on."
Resisting the urge to tear her son away from James and kick the man out of her house, Emma drew in a calming breath. "James, please. It just won't work. I can never look at you the same again."
James shot her a pleading look before turning his attention to the child that was playing with his jacket. "Hey little guy. What do you say? You want your daddy back?"
Murdock made a gurggling noise and smacked James on the back of his head with his tiny fist.
Emma bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Give me back my son. And get out."
James stared at her disbelieving and when he didn't move, Emma came forwards and pulled her son from his arms, hugging him to her tightly.
"I'm serious, James." She said lowly, reaching for the phone.
But James wasn't up for a fight, so he only put both hands in the air and backed away towards the door. "You're making a mistake, Emma. You're going to need me."
She only turned her head away as he closed the door behind him and left...never coming back.
End Flashback:
When Murdock looked up, Face was drawn back into reality. "How did you remember all of this? You were only, what, four?"
Murdock shrugged, running a hand through his hair. "I got a lot of the missing details from my mother a little while later."
"And he never came back?"
"Never."
They were quiet, watching as a bird hopped around right under the window outside and once it flew off, Face turned back to Murdock. "What happened to her?"
Murdock bit his lip and looked down, ready to go into story mode again.
Flashback:
A seven year old Murdock was running through his grandmother's house, his twelve year old cousin chasing after him with a sock full of who-knows-what and they burst into the kitchen where their grandmother was stirring a pot on the stove. It smelled of peppermint and spice in the warm kitchen on the cold, winter day. When H. Emma Murdock saw her two grandsons, Murdock going to hid in the cabnits only he could fit his small body into, she stepped in. Taking the smelly sock from her oldest grandson and holding it above his head.
"I don't want this anywhere near my walls, Jack, do you understand?" He pouted and nodded slowly, grabbing the sock back.
"Now leave your cousin alone before I chase you around the house with something that smells much worse than that."
Jack left the kitchen and Murdock fell out of the cabnit. Both boys mothers were at work, and they were being babysat again by their grandma. The snow outside was hammering down and the roads were covered in dangerous ice.
H. was worrying about her Emma and Elizabeth, hoping they'd have a safe ride home. Ther had already been five wrecks in just one day and H. could only think of the two kids, if their mothers were in one of those deathly crashes.
The rest of the day went fine, H. receiving a call from Elizabeth's husband saying he was on his way to get Jack and Elizabeth was currently pulling into their driveway.
It was right when Tyler had shown up to pick his son up and hug little Murdock, that the phone rang and as Tyler was walking out the door, his mother-in-law slapped a hand to her chest and gasped.
"H.? Are you okay?" He asked worried, thinking she might be having a heart attack.
She shakily hung the phone up and her first reaction was to grab up her coat and help Murdock get into his.
"Emma's at the hospital. She was hit by a semi. There was a chain then, a whole bunch of cars all lined up. She's very unstable."
Tyler jumped into the car with Jack, already phoning his wife.
Jack sat in the backseat with his cousin, knowing that something very bad was happening and Murdock's mother was in serious trouble.
He put his arms around the smaller boy as he began to shake with worry. He was only seven, and wasn't sure what exactly was going on, but he knew something was wrong with his mother.
They were at the hospital very quickly, despite the terrible roads. The sight that awaited them in one of the ER rooms was one that would haunt Murdock for the rest of his life.
Emma was laying in the bed, her face unrecognizable for all the bruses, cuts, and blood. She could hardly move or breathe. H. and Tyler knew she wouldn't survive and both their hearts just went out for little Murdock.
The little boy moved forwards zombie-like, his eyes huge and scared. "Mommy?" He asked hoarsely once he'd reached the bed.
She opened her eyes and looked down at her son, her life. A smile spread across her face and she slowly lifted her hand to stroke Murdock's cheek. "My James. Sweetheart..."
Tears brimming his huge eyes, Murdock used the rails of the bed to climb up into the bed with his mother, ignoring the nurse's words telling him to get down.
He nestled into his mother's broken chest and sniffed his runny nose. "Mommy, please don't die."
Emma knew she couldn't promise this to him, and it hurt her heart more than anything she'd ever been through. "I love you, James. So much. More than anything."
"I love you too, mommy." He choked on his words, crying into her hospital gown.
There was hardly anything else to say, and Emma wrapped her arms gently around her beloved son, quietly singing to him.
Elizabeth came breezing into the room, seeing her sister on the bed with her son in her arms. Her eyes poured over with tears and she grabbed onto her husband for support.
The singing was beginning to soften and die down. Emma's eyes were closing and her arms were falling.
"I love you...James..."
And James. H.M. Murdock saw the life leave his only mother, shaking her and trying to wake her up before his aunt, uncle, and grandma came to his side. She was gone.
End Flashback:
Murdock was now sitting with his face in his hands, his whole body racking with his sobs. Face got out of his chair and sat down beside Murdock, pulling him into a hug. He needed it right now.
"I...Murdock...I don't know what to say. Sorry just won't cover it." He muttered to the pilot.
Murdock sniffed loudly and leaned into Face, removing his tear-stained face.
Face rubbed cicles on Murdock's back. "Is there anything I can get you?"
Murdock turned his face away, breaking out of Face's hug to lay on his side on the bed. "I want my mom." He whispered.
Face had no idea what to say to that, inseat he patted Murdock's leg before standing up and leaving the room.
In the kitchen, B.A. was beating Hannibal at a card game, when Face quietnly entered. They both looked up and Hannibal smiled over his cigar. "Did you find our pilot?"
Face nodded, opening the fridge and pulling a milk jug out. He said no more as he poured a glass of milk and warmed it up in the microwave.
"Face, are you alright?" Hannibal asked, his smile replaced with a slightly concerned expression.
Face shrugged, removing the warm glass and heading back towards the door, leaving the other two in a confused silence.
Back upstairs, Murdock was staring at the picture in his hands. His eyes were still teary and red-rimmed. Face set the glass down on the nightstand and sat back down beside his friend.
He looked over at the picture. "Is that her?"
Murdock nodded, handing the picture over to Face, who took it carefully.
A woman with long, strawberry curls and sparkling brown eyes that were the same as Murdock's was smiling back up at him. Her face looked smooth and soft, her features gentle. Her smile was all too fimilar and Face kenw Murdock had inherited that same smile. Face smiled softly as he gave it back to Murdock. "She's beautiful. You look a lot like her."
Murdock smiled some and whiped his nose on his jacket sleeve. "Yeah. I got that a lot from my aunt."
They were quiet again, a peacful silence, before Murdock spoke again. "I just wish she could see me now."
Face smiled and lightly punched Murdock's arm. "She'd be proud." He sighed then. "It's tough not having a mother."
Murdock looked over at him. "You don't know what it's like watching them die like that."
Face slowly nodded. "No...but I know what it's like not having any family."
They were both thoughtful then, Murdock noticing the glass of milk, and taking a huge drink.
He had gotten that all off his chest and Face had made him feel a little better. The pain and memories would never go away, but the huge flare was dying down. Finally.