Hey. I cried at the end of the season premiere. Here's a very short oneshot. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: If I owned SVU, would I need to cry about Elliot never coming back?
Olivia shook with sobs as she stood behind the locked door of the interrogation room, crying her eyes out.
Her entire world had changed with one sentence. Elliot signed his papers…
Her partner was gone. Resigned. No longer on the team.
No longer hers.
For thirteen years she had stood by him through thick and thin, whether it was when he and Kathy divorced or when Kathleen was arrested. When cases go out of hand, she was always beside him to support him.
He brought out the best in her. They shared a heart it seemed. Neither one of them could ever let a child or a woman go without justice, nor could they take one minute off until a case was closed.
A sob caught in her throat, and more tears leaked down her cheeks. She didn't have a partner now. And she didn't want another.
Elliot was her partner. He was her best friend. Her world. The person who made her smile. The one person she had cared about most in her life. She was naturally a caring person, but Elliot was her number one.
Because she loved him.
Olivia had never known how it felt to love somebody until she met him. She had grown up all her life with an abusive mother, but the day she met Elliot, her life changed for the better.
He had always belonged to Kathy, and she still regretted not stepping in when he was alone. But now he was gone. He wasn't hers, and she knew he probably never would be.
She cursed her habit of hiding her feelings. If she had spoken sooner… maybe he would still be beside her, and she wouldn't be locking herself in their usual interrogation room so she could cry without having anyone try to work their way inside her.
Not that they could. That had always been Elliot's job. He could always read her like an open book, and even though she often found herself wishing he couldn't, she was going to miss it.
Her sobs grew shakier and louder, and Olivia started to fear that somebody would hear her and come to her rescue. She leaned heavily against the door and closed her eyes, trembling.
She needed him.
He was her rock. He gave her stability. She faintly remembered Kathy telling her that she was the one who gave Elliot stability.
God, she really missed him already. Why wouldn't he answer the damn phone? If he wasn't going to be her partner, the least he could do would be to talk to her. She needed to hear his voice. She needed to have him tell her that it was going to be alright, even if it wasn't true.
She didn't even know if she could go on without him. They had always been El and Liv. Benson and Stabler. It just didn't sound right when his name was missing.
She shivered, not so much from the cold as from hurt and loneliness. Elliot was the main reason she loved work so much, and now that had come to a dead end. She would miss sitting at her desk across from his, glancing up every so often as her deep brown eyes met his beautiful baby blue ones.
She had always loved his eyes.
Finally she wiped her eyes and sighed. She felt weak all over. Unable to move yet, she stood in place and stared at her reflection in the two way mirror. Tear stains covered her cheeks. Her eyes were red and swollen.
She had never quite gotten what she wanted in her life. She had always felt an unrealistic belief that Elliot could give her anything. He was the only person who knew how much she wanted a baby, and she desperately wanted to have his. But he was with Kathy…
A stab of pain struck her heart. She loved him so much. He wasn't only her partner and best friend, and he was even more than the man she loved. He was a piece of her. And now she felt empty.
Elliot was her other and better half. And now that part of her had been torn away, leaving the other half alone and scared.
Looking down, she closed her eyes again. If she had known he would resign, she would have told him how she felt. What if he never spoke to her again? The thought terrified her.
She had left so many things unspoken. She opened her mouth and whispered softly to herself.
"I love you…"
Okay, I started getting teary as soon as Cragen waved Olivia into his office, crying silently when he said El left, and bawling when Olivia locked herself up to cry. And I cried for four more minutes, then again just now.