In the Badlands, Firebrand was annoyed at AnY "Ugh, we've been over this I'm the Medic! I get first pick because I started this team, why is that so hard to understand?" he asked of the Germane pony, walking away.
"Look, " he started, walking alongside him. "My Germaneness is ze one thing I've got zat nopony else has. And ze way you play ze Medic is a disgrace! I haven't seen you heal one pony since we started zis team." he griped.
"Oh really AnY?" asked Maddie, trotting up to the two, "You want to talk about an absolute disgrace? Every time I hear you using a Scoltish accent, it's like hearing horseshoes scraping a chalkboard!" she snapped at him, walking along with the other two. "I'm the one who should be the Demopony on this team!"
And just like that, the last of Firebrand's patience evaporated "You know what? I don't give a flying feather about your accents not matching your class, I'm not about to treat you differently because of your race!" he said, storming off.
"Oh, wow, when you put it like zat, yikes!" he winced.
"Besides," continued Firebrand. "You should count your blessings, at least we didn't get Antony C as anything, I mean, you guys screwing up your accents is funny, I don't even want to hear a Horsetralian do an Equestrian accent even again." he said.
A loud high pitched sound came over the loudspeakers positioned around the field, surprising the 3 RED team members. "Well, what about an Equestrian trying to do a Horsie accent?" asked a terrible Horstralian accent.
A figure jumped off the roof of the local Salt Rock, landing on front of them, creating a large crater. The Earth Pony stallion's fur color was a light orange, tail a striped orange and black. He wore a Crocodile Mundee hat, wore grey pants with a black belt, had a ridiculous amount of chest hair and a surprisingly good looking black handlebar mustache, and the Alicorn Amulet on his chest. Dusty Katt. He opened his eyes with a chuckle, purple wisps of dark magic coming out of the corners of said eyes. "G'day." he said sinisterly.
The three recovered from their shock very quickly, Maddie pulling out the Claidheamh Mòr and AnY pulling out his Grenade Launcher. Firebrand was about to pull out his own weapon before a single hoofpunch to the face from Dusty Katt sent him literally flying into the distance, much to the shock of Maddie and AnY.
The enhanced Earth Pony grinned darkly.
"Run!" Maddie cried, and run they did.
In his office, while working as usual, the Doctor was listening to Disturbed as he heard a sound coming from above, which made him look up, only to see Firebrand crash down and end up right in front of him.
"Medic." Firebrand groaned.
"What in Equestria's going on out there?" he asked. None of the weapons any of them wielded was strong enough to send Firebrand flying into his office in such a state.
"Run for your lives!" cried out AnY, occasionally placing a Sticky Bomb down behind him, hoping that it would slow down the Earth Pony chasing them, the two passing ToonKritic and Eliyora.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where's the party, guys?" asked the red and black Soldier.
"Horsestralian!" said AnY.
"Chest hair!" said Maddie.
"Mustache!" said AnY.
"Alicorn Amulet!" said Maddie
"HELP!" they both shouted, running away at top speed.
"Never fear, ToonKritic is here! Have at thee!" said Toon, firing a crit rocket from his Black Box at Dusty Katt.
Dusty Katt simply stopped it with a single hoof, and crushed it like a can, tossing it at Toon's hooves, slowly approaching the horrified duo.
"Uh, uh, oh boy." said Toon to himself, this would end poorly.
"Please sir, may I have another?" asked Dusty Katt, making Toon shiver.
"Got any more bright ideas?" Eliyora asked the pegasus.
"Uh, yeah, yeah, totally, I just, uh, um, " Toon stuttered, before firing another rocket at Dusty.
In the Doctor's office, Firebrand was finishing telling Silver, the Doctor and Keyframe, who was healing him, a story. "And that's how Equestria was made!" he said, not noticing Lightning Bliss running away in fear.
"This isn't good." said the Doctor to himself as Finn passed them in a similar state. "We need a plan of attack."
"I have a plan, ATTACK!" yelled KP, charging out into the fray. One explosion later, and she came back, visibly hurt. Keyframe wasn't surprised and even less amused.
"Ugh!" said Keyframe in frustration. "First, we need a plan to stop everypony from attacking." she said, healing up KP.
"Wait, wait, wait, that's an option?" asked Silver, sounding genuinely surprised. "We can just, not fight? Like not stab me saw off my limbs?" he asked. Lightning Bliss looked up at him, looking worried. Firebrand's eyes widened.
"Silver…" started the Doctor.
"Or hit me with grenades or light me on fire?" Firebrand retreated and Lightning Bliss winced.
"Silver..." said the Doctor a second time.
Silver opened his watery eyes. "Or gloat and say mean comments that really hurt me on the inside which is just uncalled for because I'm-"
"Silver!" Wolf interrupted.
"Yes?" asked the hippogryph with a smile.
"I will schedule a counselling session tomorrow." he said.
"I'd like that." admitted the Heavy. Lightning Bliss hugged him softly, making him smile.
"Alright mate, only one Equestrian's allowed to do a bad Horsetralian accent 'round here." said Voice, aiming at Dusty's head as GoldenFox landed next to him. He pulled the trigger, only for Dusty to catch the bullet with his teeth. Casing and all.
GoldenFox's jaw dropped. He started to walk backwards.
"Oh come on, that's physically impossible!" complained Voice, dropping both his gun and his accent. "I mean the bullet's still has the shell casing on it, that is totally-" whatever he would have said was interrupted as Dusty spat the bullet back at him, sending him flying past Ink Rose.
GoldenFox turned to Dusty, and said "Oh forget THAT noise." and flew away.
"All right." Doctor Wolf began. "Now everypony is accounted for and NOPONY is going to leave to do something drastic," he briefly gave KP an annoyed look. "DustyKatt is on his way and we need a plan." he said.
"OK! I got it!" said a cheerful ToonKritic.
"Does it involve shooting him again?" asked GoldenFox.
"No, but it did involve lightsabers, a Hulkbuster suit and a CGI army that Peter Jackson and Michael Hay would love."
Both Eliyora and Goldenfox gave him an unamused look. "OK, I got nothing." the Soldier admitted.
"We can always sacrifice Silver Quill." suggested KP.
"Wow, didn't even try to softball that one." said a thoroughly unamused Silver.
"OK, how is THAT going to work?" asked Ink Rose.
"Have you SEEN any of my videos? Silver Quill getting killed always solves the problem!" said the blue mare. "Helps that he always has a red shirt on." she added.
"Egads she's right. Once again my fashion sense undoes me." Silver told Sweetie Bloom who wasn't even remotely listening.
"Everypony!" called Thespion, decloaking. "Let's all calm down. We know Monsieur Katt is using the Alicorn Amulet and since he is un Earth Pony, it bolstered his already impressive strength, stamina and endurance." he said.
"And chest hair!" piped up Mad Munchkin.
"And chest hair, thank you, I-" he paused as the statement clicked in his mind. He shuddered in disgust. "Ze point is, he has ze Amulet, and since we are lacking in voodoo zebras and doorstops, we need a new approach."
"Hey I know!" said Sweetie Bloom. "If Dusty's using the Alicorn Amulet, all we need is the power of an alicorn to match it."
"Zat is a very plausible theory. But who do we know zat-" he stopped himself mid sentence, and everyone turned to Lightning Bliss.
"Oh no. Oh nonononononononono. Have you seen my miniseries guys? I am the worst Alicorn you could look at! I have no magic! Get somepony else to do it, I ain't doin' it!" she said stubbornly.
"You have magic, Bliss. And lots of it." said Eliyora. "In fact, your chaotic unpredictable nature may be just the thing to smack down the Alicorn Amulet. Your magic defies the laws of logic and breaks rules. Maybe it can break the Amulet's rules? Either way, you're our best shot right now." she told her.
Bliss gulped."Alright." she said, then passed her minigun to Goldenfox. "Hold this." she told him.
"No wait! Gah!" winced GoldenFox as the weight made him fall down on his face.
"Bro, do you even lift?" ToonKritic teased.
"Go *yay* yourself." he told the red and black pegasus.
Lightning Bliss stoically marched out of the base to face DustyKatt.
DustyKatt just walked forwards, confident and smug.
Lightning Bliss powered up her magic to blast Dusty. However…
"'Ello, Darlin'." said Dusty creepily.
Lighting Bliss sputtered in fear, before bursting into tears, and zipping back to the base at full speed.
"HE SCARES ME!" she blubbered.
"And our best shot just took off at top speed." deadpanned Eli. "I guess rainbows don't always shine."
"So, we're all beaten up, we've managed to make a little filly cry, and we're all about to die." summarized Silver Quill. "Most likely starting with me. Third worst day ever."
"Hey who wants a drink?" asked Finn cheerfully, having been absent for a while. Everypony either glared at him or facehoofed.
"Do you, not know what's going on?" asked GoldenFox.
"Hey, all I know is that Blissey was crying, I gave her a hug and made her some tea and didn't want you guys to feel left out." said the BLU Engineer. "So grab 'em while they're cold! Or hot! Or, whatever temperature this should be." he said looking at one particular drink.
"Dibs on the purple stuff!" said Voice.
"I'll take a cider, nonalcoholic." said Ink.
"I'll take a cider. ALL the alcoholic." said KP.
"I want my shake." said Toon.
"I'll take a Galactic Gargle Blaster." said Thespio.
GoldenFox sighed in defeat. "Coffee. Cream and sugar."
"Comin' right up!" said Finn.
"Aye we're 'avin' a right 'ootenanny 'ere, I completely forgot our tatties are all outside with the evil mustachioed Horsie out the crack of the door. Hold the phone. What?" she asked as Maddie gave her a strange look, trying to figure out what accent that was.
"Look everypony, there's something not right about all this." said the Doctor. "Dusty wouldn't come down here all on his own. We need-"
"Eh, eh, eh, what are you crying about? There's 16 of us, and only one of him." interrupted Keyframe. "We all march out there as a group, we got this easy."
"Yeah! This isn't called TEAM Fortress 2 for nothing." said the RED Scout. "We just gotta get our heads in the game and beat him together. Who's with me?"
Everyone charged out.
"Wait, please! You don't know what you're doing!" protested Doctor Wolf.
"Thanks for the newsflash, Slowbro!" called out Silver.
Dr Wolf turned and saw Firebrand still there. "You're not going out there with them?" he asked
"Hey, I just got Falcon Hoofed through a building. I am NOT going out there to heal a bunch of suicidal morons!" he told him, taking a drink of apple juice.
"Even though Miss Rose is out there with them?"
Firebrand dropped the bottle, shattering it.
The crimson unicorn sputtered before just screaming in Angrish and going out there.
The two teams, RED and BLU, met in the center of the battlefield and began to advance as one towards DustyKatt.
The stallion just chuckled darkly. Then, there was an ominous mechanical sound, and hordes and hordes of robots, equine robots, mimicking the 9 classes, began pouring out from over the hill.
The Team's confidence turned into shock and terror. They all began running back to base for safety. All except Doctor Wofl with nothing but his Rescue Ranger. "So it begins." he said ominously.