Helping the Princess

It was a typical Tuesday at the Lair.

Well, except for one thing.

Kim hadn't stopped crying.

Not for the last fifteen minutes.

That was, of course, if you assumed that hypersonic screaming, tears, sobs, and noise the like of which was generally only found in a jet engine's guts qualified as "Crying."

Drakken had stopped ranting, in favor of holding his ears.

Shego was thanking what powers watched over her that she'd paid for the earplugs after Dr. D's last rant.

"SHEGO, WHAT DID YOU DO!?"

"MUH, MUH WAH-HA…MY LIFE IS OVER!" Kim screeched. Shego walked over to Drakken and shouted in his ears.

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"I JUST ASKED WHERE THE BUFFOON WAS, BEFORE I SHOWED HER MY HYPERSONIC GLASS LASER AND…"

At Ron, Kim's crying went to hypersonic and beyond—and in sympathetic vibration, every bit of glass shattered….including the not-glass but looking a bit like it, synthetic diamond that was at the core of Drakken's machine. Kim subsided, making little mewling noises on the floor, and in the new silence, Drakken's voice filled the chamber.

"Oh snap."

"Hey Princess." Shego said, looking at her carefully, before sitting down by her, speaking in a different tone. "What happened?"

"Shego, why are you being so-"

"I'm getting some worth out of my credential. Now shut up unless you want her to break the rest of the lair."

"Shutting up now."

"Ro…rrrr….rrooon…." Kim looked up at Shego and Shego winced. Her face was red from crying, there were huge bags under her eyes, she hadn't blown her nose and her hair looked like it was auditioning for "better webs and rat's nests."

"Ron?"

"Uh-huh." Kim said, "I was with Ron and daddy came and…and…." The waterworks started again.

"You two were getting heavy?"

"Uh-huh."

"Had your shirt off."

"No."

"Was banging you?"

"Noo." More sniffles.

"Then what?"

"He, had his hand down my shirt and then…" Kim started bawling again.

"That's it?"

"Daddy was so disappointed."

"In what? That it's likely you'll still be a virgin when you're getting social security?"

"He-he-he threw Ron out of the House AND I'LL NEVER FIND HIM-" More tears and wails. Drakken was in the other room on the phone. He came out looking nervous.

"Shego, do something—the neighbors want to know why we're torturing a cat!"

"Look, Dr. D, I have a plan."

"To give her laryngitis?"

"No, to get Ron back."

"The Buffoon?"

"Don't call him that, I'll never be able to see him AGAIN-WAAAAHHHH!!!". Now Shego grabbed her ears. Evidently there were somethings earplugs couldn't stop.

She grabbed Drakken by the ear. "Show a little sensitivity." Then to the girl on the floor. "Kimmy, wait here one minute."

"It doesn't matter! My life is over!" Kim wailed.

Shego dragged Drakken into the safe room, where the noise was only nearly deafening.

"Shego, Kim Possible will never be a threat again-"

"Shut it."

"Why!"

"Because I'm going to beat Kimmy when she's at the top of her game, not because her dad is stuck in the…." Shego paused, "Hell he's not even stuck in the 1940's, it's more like the 1840's. What is with him? He was a teen in the 1970's!"

"ROOOONNNNNNN!!!!!!!!"

"There she goes again."

"Shego, do something... if they think we really are torturing cats…"

"Don't worry, Dr. D…. I have a plan." Shego said with a smirk on her face.

TBC.