Author's note:
Hey everyone! So... This is my first experience writing fanfic in English. It's not my native language, if you don't understand it, please tell me! I don't have a beta reader and that only makes the mission more difficult. I have to review myself :D. Please let me know what you think about my Reylo fic.
I do not own Star Wars. It's all for fun.
Love means leaving reviews and I love you all.
Chapter 1 - "That kind of loving…"
She felt warm and dizzy with his body next to hers. The long kiss took all her breath away. Rey leaned her head backward trying to find some air, but Ben pressed his hand behind her neck bringing her soft lips back to his. His other hand laced her waist into a possessive grip. Her body tensed for a moment, but Ben's tongue dancing with hers made her relax again. She knew this was not right. She knew they should stop, but, after everything they have been through, she thought this was the best thing that had ever happened in her life.
Kylo Ren had been accessary with multiples genocides. He had tortured and killed people. In addition, he had killed his own father. However, after Han Solo's death, something broke the promise the young and naïf Ben Solo had once made to the Dark Side. His master had promised that the entire struggle would be ended when Kylo had the courage to break with the connection that knotted him to his family. Well, Snoke had apparently misunderstood the big deal of Ben's torment. Finishing Han's life didn't finish his connection with the light because he still loved his father. He still loved his family. Then, he felt weak. He felt pain. But also, he felt love. He felt how strongly his father loved him even in his last minute when he had forgiven his beloved son. Then, when he understood, Ben felt guilty. Regret.
As Master Luke had told Rey in the beginning of her training, guilt does not lead directly to the dark side of the Force as common sense judge it does. Generally, guilt is good because it shows your commitment with whom you love. But what you do with your guilt can lead you to the dark or to the light. Ben did what he could to not demonstrate his distress to the dark, but it didn't work. He looked for help.
Six months after Han's death, Kylo Ren started talking to Rey through a sort of bond forged when they were in Starkiller. The mind invasion of both minds had tied them mentally. At first, he tried reaching her in her dreams. She was able to feel the angst, the dark emotions. She was afraid of how frightened he was. She had asked Master Luke to teach her a way to block him, but deep in her heart, Rey knew that was wrong. She could feel his pain. So, one night was prerogative to make her accept their bond. Kylo was crying for help. He was calling for his father just like the young Ben Solo had done before. Finally, Rey reached for him.
Rey and Luke had made up a plan to rescue Ben from Snoke. He had passed some information to them through the Force Bond and they were able to attack the Finalizer fleet with a great help from the Resistance, who was quite happy for helping them to defeat the First Order command central. Ben had his loyalty tested for the last time. Snoke was personally on board, but their mission was focused on rescuing Ben Solo alive. When Rey entered the Supreme Leader chamber sensing Kylo's presence, she was not ready for what she saw. Ben had his lightsaber ignited and was ready to brand it against her. She put her hand on her saber hilt, but did not have time to ignite it when Kylo spun and drove his saber through his master body. He had done it. He was finally free.
Now, after four months of his return to the light, Ben is training with an amazing progress and Rey has to deal with a feeling that is very new for her: love. She hated him, she pitied him, she felt attracted to him, and she loved him. That is the reason why she is hiding in a cave on Ach-To, kissing him and gasping his name while he touches the bare skin of her flat belly under her tunic. She finally frees herself for the possessive hug. "Easy, Ben. You know that we can't…"she trailed off.
"I know. But it's not fair. Not when you finally correspond to my feelings." He interrupted her, reluctantly lowering his arms. He turned his back to avoid looking at her, and Rey smirked to his childish temper.
"Well, I don't mean I don't want it, Ben. But jedi are not allowed to get engaged in relationships. It could lead us to a possessive bond and…"
"Lead us to the dark side, like with Anakin Skywalker." He sighed turning back to meet her hazel eyes, and completed in a sad tone, "I've been there and I don't want to go back. But I don't belong with the light either. You know the Resistance will never forgive me after everything I've done to them."
Rey got next to him and reached for his left hand. "Don't think like that. The Resistance has more information than ever with the data you've been passing to them since you're back. They have to recognize that you cannot be judged as everyone else from the First Order. And your mother is doing everything she can to convince them about this. If you were able to convince me that you were repented, I'm sure the Resistance will be easier."
Ben laughed at that. She had been tough with him at the beginning, not believing he could actually change. "You were my only hope." He muttered his body against hers again. "You're so beautiful, powerful and smart. I just can't help kissing you." He brushed his lips on hers, whispering, "I love you, Rey."
He felt her body falter allowing him to deep the kiss. Rey moaned while his tongue started to dance with hers. She put her arms around his neck and gave herself entirely to the feeling of peace that engulfed her mind for a long moment. It was all blank until the kiss became more demanding. Ben broke their kiss saying urgently: "I want you, Rey. Not in a possessive way. I need you to be complete."
Rey cursed herself when warm tears threatened to fall from her eyes. "I want you too, Ben. But I'm afraid of how it can damage our lives as jedi. We cannot disappoint your uncle. He counts on us to rebuild the order. "
"So let's give him a couple of younglings to teach." He joked looking at her.
She smiled and nodded once. "You're persistent today, Ben Solo."
"I'm always persistent, but today you're being especially difficult. Let me put this on other terms. I'll blow up if we don't make love today."
Rey laughed pressing her body to his. "Ok, you made your point. Let's stop talking and start this before I have to recollect your pieces. "
Ben frowned tightening his fingers in her hips, leaning forward to whisper in her ear, "Well, you always leave me in pieces. So… yeah. Let's get started."
Rey whimpered as they retook the kiss in a kind way at first, but Ben had already begun to work on her belt. He was getting used to do it. She remembered the beginning when he was so nervous and couldn't deal with his own clothes. Once the belt fell down, he took out her long scarf dropping it on the floor, and enlaced her once more, deepening their kiss. Rey reached for the hem of his shirt, his tunic was on the floor since they arrived. Once he was free of his shirt, she touched his brawny chest with her fingertips, making lazy circles on his skin.
Ben stopped kissing her mouth and went down to her neck and trailing up, sucking and nipping her ear, making Rey warm and wet between her legs. Her breath faulted when he back to her lips and took out her shirt and finally her leggings. He moaned loud inside her mouth when Rey reached for his waistband freeing him from his trousers. In response, he trailed down her body with wet kisses until he reached for her breast. He sucked and licked her already erect nipples making her gasp and arch her back. She sighed saying, "Ben, I think we should lay down."
He murmured in a mocking tone, "Yeah. I'm exhausted of doing it against a wall too. Let's make it last for once at least." He stretched his cloak and hers on the stone floor of the cave and laid in his back on the improvised bed. Rey scanned his body and felt a surge of desire turning her on. He beckoned at her, speaking in a low voice, "I'm waiting for you". Rey smiled laying beside him. He rolled over her and her eyes met her lover's ones. She contemplated the flash of desire, admiration and love emanating from his gaze.
"I love you, Ben Solo. Not even the Jedi Order can tell the opposite. Don't forget this." She said mesmerized by his eyes.
"I won't." He promised and bent down to kiss her and worn their underwear out. When Rey felt his hard member between her legs, she grunted, feeling his body tensioning. Ben always asked silently if he could go forward, since her sexual experience was resumed to their four months relationship. She nodded once, "Don't be afraid. I feel it too." Ben smiled to her, staring with his hunger eyes, and he tightened their embrace.
Rey could feel his weight as he moved slowly inside and out of her body. She started rocking her hips to meet his movements and Ben let out a moan of pleasure. It was tight, warm and wet when he whispered in her ear, "I'm so glad I can feel and touch you like this, Rey." Surprising Rey, he angled himself in that sweet spot inside her and hardened his thrusts. She widened her eyes and started painting wantonly feeling the wave of pleasure increasing. Generally, she would angle herself to find that spot, but now he knew the way. She was lost in thought, realizing how well Ben Solo knew her body after only four months.
"Yes, Ben. Just like this. Oh. Please." She was whimpering and pleading with her hands entangled in his black hair.
She felt tears rolling out of her eyes and her ears went hot as her body reached its climax. One. "Oh. Shit." Two. "Force". Three. "Ben", she breathed out. Her body became relaxed and she opened her eyes meeting his. "I love you." Ben didn't need any other kind of incitement. He moved inside her in some erratic movements finding his own release. He came inside her and Rey could see his cheeks blushing dark as his mouth felt ajar. He sank back to her, touching her forehead with his.
"I love you, jedi girl." Then, he kissed her to prove it once more.
They got back to the hut to find out that Luke hadn't returned from his meditation time. Rey was concerned about the latest news they've received from the Resistance base on Yavin 4. Leia had told Luke that an important reunion was requiring the presence of the jedi master and his two apprentices. She have said it was decisive to Ben's future and to the Resistance's as well. They knew that would be a trial to decide about Kylo Ren's destiny. She couldn't help but worry for him. Her boyfriend became more important than she had wished. At the beginning she thought it was only attraction and that her path as a jedi was of paramount importance. But now…she would do anything to free him from his own ghosts.
Ben frowned and opened a beautiful smile as he read her thoughts. "You know… you should stop thinking about it. It always flatters me when you admit to yourself that I'm more important than your jedi path. This is not good to me either. It can lead to vanity, and vanity leads to…"He changed his voice for a mocking dark one, trying to reproduce his masked voice "…the dark side."
Rey tried not to laugh. She knew he was as nervous as she was, but she chuckled a little and expressed another thought to him. " And you should stop talking. I'm hungry after all the exercise."
He narrowed his eyes, pretending being offended. "Are you calling our passionate ecstasy 'exercise" now? This is not even fair to describe it."
"I was talking about our walk back here." She answered rolling her eyes. "Come on. Let's cook."
By the time dinner was ready, Master Luke returned. He looked tired when he raised his eyes Ben who was passing him a cereal bowl. "Are you ok, uncle?" Ben asked with a hint of concern.
"I'm worried about the Resistance blindness toward you. I'm afraid your sentence will not be as fair as your redemption." The old master uttered upset.
Rey felt her stomach revolting as a painful nausea took her hunger away. "Do you think they can execute him? "She asked sitting in front of her master.
"I don't think it'll go so far. But I want you to be prepared, Ben to be tested once again."
Ben raised his left eyebrow. "Tested? You mean they can take my liberty, put me in prison for the rest of my life?"
"Maybe. Be prepared to lose something important to you. That's their game. Punishment is always worse when we care for our things." Luke asserted in a seriously tone.
Ben inhaled deeply and let out a heavy sigh. "I killed my own father. I deserve whatever they've prepared to me."
Luke looked concerned to his nephew. "No, Ben. Your father said he would do anything to have you back. Including to dye. If you had to kill him to understand how deep you loved us, it's not fair with Han's sacrifice to put you in jail and exclude you from our lives. All the help you gave to us wasn't to compensate what you did in the past. You did it because because you belong with us."
Rey was crying again and her heart skipped a beat. She touched Ben's shoulder. "You'll always belong with us."
They left to Coruscant three days after that conversation. Ben and Rey could barely talk to each other due to the stress. Inside the Falcon, it was difficult to hide from Luke's presence and they had to wait until he felt asleep to kiss each other in the cockpit. After a long moment, Rey interrupted their passionate embrace. "Do you think they can banish you, like an exile? If they do it, I'm going with you." She looked at him and saw a sad smile in his face.
"Well, if they let me be a jedi even banished from the Republic system, I'll be happy. But…if you come with me, you'll be marked. I don't want it, Rey. Nothing can hold you back. You're such a brilliant warrior, pilot and person. You cannot be stopped for loving Kylo Ren. You're so young…"
"Stop it." He could see she was very angry about this conversation for the intensity of her gaze. "First of all, don't say that I'm young and that I'll have a great future as a jedi. I don't even know how tomorrow is going to be. I'm not afraid about my future. Second, I decide for myself. You don't get to say about me, Ben Solo. If I decide for you, you'll have to deal with it. Besides, I've never cared about what the others may say. Since I was six I make my own decisions. Third, I love you. I loved you even when I didn't understand it. You make me complete. Without you, I can't be balanced. So…There's not Jedi Rey without Ben Solo."
Ben let the tears flood from his eyes, but maintained his position. "I will feel awful if you're not recognized as you deserve."
"You don't say what I deserve. I decide it. Learn that. The Jedi Order, you, your mother, your uncle, Finn, Poe, Chewie… don't matter when I decide something." She snorted sarcastically. "And now, I decided that you should kiss me."
"What if I don't want it? I choose for myself too." Ben said in a seriously.
"Then, I'll have to steal it." She said going on her tiptoes and enlacing her arms around his neck.
He remained serious. "I'm not convinced."
She started kissing his neck and nipping his skin. When she kissed his earlobe, she whispered, "When I decide something I don't give up on it. Never."
It was enough. He grabbed her waist and started devouring her lips.