I don't own Naruto.
Uzumaki Naruto tells himself this can't happen again, but he still finds himself in front of his apartment, his left hand clenched into a fist as his right knocks on the door. He feels his heart explode with a mixture of both happiness and guilt the moment the door opens and he sees that knowing smirk on Sasuke's face.
-o-
Every time he tells himself this ―whatever this thing is― is over, Naruto still finds himself longing for Sasuke's lips against his, Sasuke's skin against his skin and Sasuke's warm breath over the pulse on his neck. Naruto feels the tips of his fingers tingle and he licks his lower lip as he looks forward for the next time he sees him.
Naruto then frowns and he shakes his head ever so gently at the thought of meeting him again, murmuring strings of profanities under his breath because no, just no. He doesn't miss him, he doesn't need him.
Sasuke is going to break his heart again, and Naruto doesn't want that anymore.
-o-
The tingling feeling on Naruto's fingertips doesn't go away for days, weeks at most, and he finally says 'fuck it' and he runs from his dorm room to Sasuke's apartment, panting as he breathes and takes in oxygen to calm his ragged breathing. He knocks on the door and his heart throbs painfully and his chest swells with warmth and something more when he sees him again.
His eyes narrow at the sight of his smirk and he hates himself for feeling this way when Sasuke is around.
-o-
Every time he sees Sasuke, Naruto tells him that he is leaving and he is not coming back ever and then he breaks and falls and he feels so lost, but Naruto knows the moment he walks away that he is going to come back.
Sasuke only smirks at him, because he knows that, too.
-o-
And when Naruto does come back, the cycle begins once again. He goes inside the apartment, they stay together for a while, Sasuke hurts him and he breaks, and then he leaves after telling ―promising― himself that he is not going to see him anymore. But maybe, promises really are made to be broken because he comes back anyway.
And it makes Naruto hate himself even more, because he knows that Sasuke isn't good for him, because he breaks his heart ―breaks him― over and over until he is left with nothing more than a speck of dust of dignity and self-respect to keep for himself.
It hurts Naruto, kills him from the inside, because Uchiha Sasuke is all he ever wanted and hated at the same time.