Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama Island or any of the characters.
Just so you all know, I am not AT ALL serious with this story. I'm making fun of multiple things here. Please don't read this looking for a serious story.
"Once upon a time, in the land of the losers," Izzy narrated excitedly. She bounced up and down and waved her arms in the air expressively. "A bunch of kids were stuck together on a b e a YUUUtiful resort. And then-"
"Izzy who are you talking to now? I thought your friend Bob was eaten by Owen yesterday," a sarcastic voiced called from behind her.
"Noah, what are you talking about?" Izzy asked sweetly. "Bob wasn't real. That's why he was called an imaginary friend."
Noah hit his face in frustration. "After weeks of her insisting that he was real," he muttered.
"Anyway," Izzy said. "I'm going to show you how amazingly cool my friends here are!" She giggled maniacally and rubbed her hands together.
"Once again, who are you talking to?" Noah asked.
"The readers, of course!" Izzy yelled triumphantly, pointing a finger at the ceiling as she struck a pose. Why exactly she yelled triumphantly and struck a pose, we will never know.
"Yep. She's gotten even loopier," Noah commented. He opened his book again and returned to reading.
"Ah-ha!" Izzy said, swiveling around. "Our first victims!" She stabbed a finger towards an elevator behind her. The door was opening and Courtney and Duncan stepped out.
"I wuv you!" Duncan said, smiling at Courtney.
"I wuv you more!" Courtney replied, looking up at him with a dewey-eyed expression.
"No, I wuv you more!" Duncan argued gently.
"But I wuv you most!" Courtney said happily.
"I wuv you!" Duncan said, starting it again. He suddenly crossed his arms and tried to look mean. "Oh, but I'm a tough delinquent! I'm really cool!" He put his arm behind him and tried to lean against the wall. Instead, his arm missed the wall and he fell sideways.
"Oh!" Courtney squealed. "Are you okay, Dunky?" Suddenly her expression changed to an angry one. "But I don't like you! Remember that! I'm not concerned. Nope. I'm not. I would never like a delinquent like you." She shook her head, as if trying to convince herself.
"Could you help me up?" Duncan asked, groaning.
"Ahhh!" Courtney screamed. She kicked him in the balls and ran away.
Noah's jaw dropped. "What's with them?" he asked Izzy when he was finally coherent again.
"Well, their fantards took over their brains," Izzy said seriously.
"I should have known better than to ask you," Noah said, rolling his eyes.
"That's what I get for telling all those tall tales, readers," Izzy said, sighing. She smiled, perking up. "Hey Noah! Let's go see some other people!" Before he could protest, she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him down the hallway.
"Our second victim!" Izzy shrieked, pointing at Cody.
Cody jumped, slightly surprised by the red-headed girl who suddenly appeared in front of him screaming. Okay, he was a bit more than slightly surprised.
"Hi, Cody!" Izzy chirped. "You say hi too Noah!"
Noah blushed and looked down. "H-hi Cody."
Cody blushed even more than Noah, and a little steam came out of the top of his head. "Hey, Noah. Eheheheh."
Noah stared at Cody seriously. "I love you."
"I love you too!" Cody said, a look of relief crossing his face. The two leaped towards each other and stared to make out.
"Ooooh," Izzy said. "Sexy. Their brains must have been taken over too." She skipped away happily as Noah and Cody got closer and closer to third base…..
"Hi, Eva!" Izzy said happily. "Why are you throttling Ezekiel?"
Eva was indeed throttling the hapless prairie boy. She turned to Izzy, who was smiling at Ezekiel.
"My Zeke looks so cute all of a sudden! Wait, since when do I call him that?" Izzy thought. "Oh, darn. Must be those stupid fantards again. But I didn't think there were that many fantards for us….. Maybe my theory was wrong."
"Whaddaya want?" Eva growled threateningly.
"Hmm?" Izzy asked, distracted by Ezekiel.
"Go away!"
"Why should I?" Izzy asked, suddenly obstinate because of Eva's harsh tone.
"Go away!" Eva repeated.
"Why should I?" Izzy countered.
"Grrr!" Eva yelled, dropping Ezekiel. "I'm Eva and I'm scary! Run like the frightened little bunnies you are!"
"I think you've got me confused with DJ," Izzy said calmly. "You're not that tough. But I didn't think you had fantards either…. Or fans at all." Eva looked at Izzy, confused because the girl wasn't running away in terror. "Oh, I'll be taking Zekey-poo, okay?" Izzy hoisted Ezekiel onto her back and walked away from the still-stunned Eva.
Izzy stared at Gwen through the bushes. Well, actually the so-called "bushes" was a large plastic plant in the lobby. Gwen was lounging on the couch and Trent was serenading her with his guitar.
I love you
I love you
Yes, I still love you
I love you
I love you
"Original lyrics, eh?" Izzy commented to the unconscious Ezekiel.
"I wuuuv you," Duncan crooned as he walked into the lobby.
Courtney followed close behind him. "I wuuuuv you too!"
Suddenly Duncan and Gwen caught sight of each other and you could practically see sparks. Duncan fell down on one knee. "I love you! Gwen, do you love me?"
"WHAT?" Courtney shrieked.
"Like sands through the hourglass," Izzy said dramatically. "So are the days of our lives." (4)
Trent's face fell in sadness and he started to strum on him guitar.
Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me
"Ugh," Gwen said, rolling her eyes at him. "I like Duncan more. Go away. You're creepy anyway."
"Yes!" Duncan cheered, pumping his fist in the air.
Trent picked up his guitar and walked away slowly, hanging his head.
Friends we've been for so long
Now true colors are showing
Makes me want to cry, oh yes it does
'Cause I had to say goodbye
By now I should know
That in time things must change
So it shouldn't be so bad
So why do I feel so sad
"Does he ever stop singing?" Courtney asked the room.
"Not really," Gwen said, sighing. "He'll probably be singing ballads and sad songs for the next few weeks."
"Why are you talking to me?" Courtney asked angrily. "I've got to go find a lamp post. I'll be back." She stalked off to find a lamp post to bash Gwen over the head with.
"Hmm, maybe we should get out of here?" Duncan suggested.
"What a good idea!" Gwen said, in a very Mary-Sue fashion.
"Hmmm, I've come up with a new theory!" Izzy announced to the room. Of course, nobody was listening, as Ezekiel was unconscious. "I think the fanfiction authors have taken over their bodies! Of course, there are more bad fanfics for them than good……."
A/N:
Jokes-
(1)- DxC Fantards. Well, don't you love how Duncan and Courtney lose all personality when they fall in love? And then they suddenly have short bursts of personality. Heehee...
(2)- Noco- Well, I'm making fun of the gratuitous xxx that happens with those stories. I mean, I'm also poking fun at the lack of development in their relationship in some stories.
(3)- Gotta love scary Eva. I just think I'm being silly with this one. I mean, she does sometimes lack personality, I guess. :)
(4)- This is the line from the beginning of the soap, The Days of Our Lives. I've never seen it, so I had to look it up so I could make Izzy quote a line from it.
(5)- And of course, I couldn't forget the DxG fantards. Personally, I can't stand this couple. I liked it a little before TDA tried to use it. It's just stupid now.
(6)- Trent's singing all the time, of course! I really don't like stories that are mainly song lyrics. It really bothers me for some reason.
(7)- Last joke! Courtney and the lamp post thing, of course!
Well, I might have forgotten to put some on here, but these are the main ones. I hope you guys caught all of them as you read them!