You wake up in your room, today is your... wait, no, wrong story. Let's restart, shall we?
Skype Log:
BS - Hey nerds, pick up the call
JC - No I'm tired of your bullshit
BS - Fine, this doesn't concern you anyway, this is mostly me trying to reach Nathan and Mark
JC - Then start a new chat I keep getting messages when you type them in this chat
BS - (^)
JC - And seriously stop with the damn cake emoji
BS - (^)
The Skype tone rings as this cake asshole tries to reach the other two morons who waste their time on this program with him.
Skype Call:
BS - Hey guys, it launched today, and guess who is currently installing the game!
NM - (The song "Guren No Yumiya" played at a very slow rate, with a very deep voice singing it)
MC - Oh, you got yours too, wanna start the session while we wait for Jon and Nate?
NM - I'm right here!
BS - Shut up Nate! Yeah let's start up the game, who's gonna play server?
MC - I'll be server, I don't trust you with my character's home
NM - I wouldn't trust him with his own home.
BS - That's a reasonable thing to say.
NM - EIIIII!
BS - WHAT THE HELL!
NM - My dog just licked my armpit
BS - You need to keep that dog in another room while you're on Skype
BS - Mark, what's the session code?
MC - It's R41N60WD4SH
BS - HA! Really? Wow, you are such a little fag!
MC - Hey I resent that!
BS - I know, that's why I said it.
Call Ended
There, HERE is where we will begin our story. While those two set up their session, let's go into some exposition.
This story starts with a young man by the name of Brandon Samuels. Today you and your friends have just gotten the Homestuck Kickstarter Game, but more on that later, for now back to Brandon himself. Brandon is what you might call a "shut-in." Only going out to go to school or hangout with friends. Looks-wise, he is about 6 feet tall, and has a slight stubble growing out from under his chin, his face is a connect-the-dots of acne as most boys his age would look. His mat of dark brown hair is greasy most of the time due to him being to busy playing video games to get up, and shower.
Skype Call:
BS - Alright Mark, hurry up
MC - Fine, I'm working on it! Just calm down!
BS - Maybe I'll calm down when I'm killing imps!
MC - Alright, I'm connected. Where's the character, I just see you sitting in your chair.
BS - Go to the game, not my Skype cam!
MC - I'M LOOKING AT THE GAME TAB!
BS - Fine, just deploy the machines
MC - Alright there you go
Brandon hears a loud noise coming from the hall.
He goes to investigate to find an alchemiter in the unused room between his room and his brother's. "God Damn it," he exclaims, "Wait, why is this happening in here, shouldn't this be happening in the game?"
Skype Call:
BS - What did you do?
MC - I just did what you said and deployed the machine, why what happened?
BS - It's in my would-be computer room, and guess who's not gonna get the computer version of Skype now?
MC - What are you talking about, are you pranking me?
BS - No, you literally destroyed my computer space, this sucks
MC - An actual alchemiter has been deployed in your house and you are complaining about where it's located?
BS - YES!
MC - Wow, you need to get your priorities straight.
BS - No, what I need is for you to deploy the cruxtruder in my living room, and the totem lathe in my mom's office, got it.
MC - We have actually found what appears to be a working copy of Sburb, and you actually want to play it, and destroy our planet to become the God of a new one?
BS - FUCK YEAH!
MC - You are one seriously messed up guy
BS - You bet your ass I am!
Skype Call End
As you continue on to the Cruxtruder, you begin to realize you have jack-shit to open it with, you're gonna have to convince Mark to go along with your idea. Or you could just throw something heavy off the let's do that.
Skype Call:
MC - What are you doing?
MC - Oh, you don't have your headset on, you can't hear me
MC - Wait is that your nightstand?
MC - Fuck! what is he doing?
Skype Call End
You stands triumphant like a mighty Spartan warrior standing over the defeated ruins of Persia. At least you're pretty sure that's how it happened. Now to go claim that Totem and convince Mark to deploy the Pre-Punched Card.
Skype Call:
BS - Yeah, guess who's playing the game whether you like it or not!
MC - Wow, you're serious about this. What is wrong with you?
BS - What's wrong is I have a taste for adventure. A thirst to conquer the medium and a wish to obtain power and riches this world simply does not contain. Now I ask you do you want to sit in that chair and wait while this world ends, or do you wish to follow me to victory?
MC - Wow, you actually sold it to me, let's do it!
BS - Yes, PERSUASION FTW!
MC - Not really the whole "Persuasion" thing just the whole "Not wanting to die" thing.
BS - Still counts! Now deploy the Pre-Punched Card.
MC - Alright, let's get started!
Skype Call End
Mark deploys the Pre-Punched Card neatly on your desk. You grab the card and the totem and make a mad dash down the stairs to the Totem Lathe in your mom's office. You push the card into its slot and pop the totem into its place. You press the big button to start the machine and let it go to work. Once the totem is complete being carved into a perfectly simetrical vase-shaped item, you place it on the Alchemiter and alchemise the shit out of that light blue vase.
As you feel your house shake and notice the windows dim, you realize you have entered The Medium.
Skype Call:
BS - Dude, I'm in the medium.
MC - Cool, so who are we connecting next?
AR - Hey guys!
BS - PERFECT!
AR - What's perfect?
MC - Alex do you have the kickstarter game?
AR - Yeah why?
BS - 'Cause you're joining our session, and I'm gonna be your server player, so let's get started.
AR - Alright, what's the session code?
MC - R41N60WD4SH.
AR - Alright, I'm joining.
BS - Okay, I can see you!
AR - Wait... What do you mean see me?
BS - Oh yeah, this is a working copy of Sburb, and I get free reign over your house. I also get 100 Grist to play with, let's get started!
AR - Fuck!
Skype Call End
You proceed to install all the machines, and you make it a point to install all of them right in front of doors, but not blocking them completely. Just leaving enough room to squeeze between the Machines and the wall, but making it really awkward to squeeze past.
You give Alex his basic instructions and start making some "home improvements" Y'know, moving his door into the wall, Changing all of his stairs into steep ramps he can't climb up, the usual stuff.
You are going to have one fun session, that's for sure. But you still have a long way to go before you get to the end of this journey.
END OF CHAPTER 1