She Knows
Dreams
following me
Whispering to me
Playing along my skin,
Reminding
me of what I have done
Retelling the tale again and again
Of my
weakness-
My choice-
My betrayal to all that I had known,
All
for the touch of soft flesh against mine
The chance to wake
And
see fiery locks spread
Around the pillows
For forbidden
kisses
In dark corridors,
And stolen whispers
That declare
an undying love
And when I walk to my death,
The death she
doesn't know of,
The death I gave myself
When I made my
choice,
I will be happy-
For I had something perfect,
Something
angelic,
That I loved
And was loved back by:
She whom I
cannot bear to tell,
Whom I cannot look at
As I walk away for
the last time
And then she is there,
Before me, and I have
to look.
Her smile haunting me,
The touch of her soft hand on
my shoulder-
That one act of kindness,
That one moment of
beauty,
That whiff of something fragrant-
It lifts my
soul,
Rending my eyes with briny tears
That hauntingly kind
look,
amid failure and sadness
And guilt and blame-
That one
smile
Like she knows
and she takes my hand in hers
and
walks with me
towards the door
towards our death
and then I
know
that she had seen this all along
and her step never
falters-
not even when met
with my father's cool gray eyes
so
like my own-
for as we exit this corporeal world,
we enter
eternity together