AN:Just a oneshot Orphan Black fic with the clones. I love their dynamic sometimes and had an attempt at interpreting that into this little ficlet. Enjoy!
There were four clones present in Sarah and Felix's shared apartment. It was a rainy, dull evening and Felix had left to get some milk and groceries as they had run out. Cosima was miserable. Delphine had once again betrayed her and Alison was having an internal meltdown as she had possibly murdered Aynsley. Was not preventing a death when you could have classed as murder? Just watching it happen and doing nothing? Enjoying it perhaps? No. That was too sickening. The thoughts were whirling through her brain and she was yet to tell the clones what she had done.
Cosima covered her face and felt as tears landed on her cheeks. "Please don't cry Cosima." Sarah said softly. Her clone sister was laying with her back to her on the bed and she was quietly sobbing. Sarah was gently playing with bits of the back of her hair, twirling her precisely proportioned dreadlocks between her fingers. Cosima felt comforted by this. It was a little reminder for her that Sarah was there. That her sisters were there and there for her.
"She's not worth it." Alison said, walking over and trying to console her. She patted Cosima's shoulder and then stepped away again as if simply her touch would harm her or make her more upset. Sarah observed this.
Helena walked around and put a piece of some bread in her mouth. "You can do better than stupid French girl." She said matter-of-factly. Cosima raised her eyebrows at Helena's input, who knew the murdering clone would be loyal? She hardly knew Helena. She only knew of her and what she had done both to Sarah and the other clones.
Alison crossed her arms and paced back and fourth. "See. Even she's rooting for you."
"What is that supposed to mean, grumpy seestra." Helena turned and scowled at her. Alison scowled back and didn't respond. She certainly wasn't fond of Helena.
Sarah thought about what could prevent an argument. "Helena you and Cosima just haven't known each very long, you only actually met this evening."
"Seestra, I am smart girl. You listen to my words, they are helpful always."
"Okay Helena." Sarah smiled. "Come here." She beckoned her.
Helena walked up to the bed and chose to ignore Sarah, lying down by Cosima instead. Cosima looked a little alarmed.
"Did you love French girl?" She asked Cosima, her face close to hers. Cosima composed herself and nodded. As she thought about Delphine a couple more tears landed on her cheeks.
Helena thought for a moment and then responded. "She is not good as you. You are better, clone seestra."
Cosima looked at her with a newfound love. "Thank you Helena. That's very sweet. I didn't know you cared about me."
"Of course I care about clone seestra. We are family. Not like Thomas. We are real family seestra. We all are." Helena nodded to her, half confirming it to herself. Cosima gave her a soft smile and nodded.
Alison paused. She was a little taken aback. She didn't know Helena had such a soul. She stepped closer to the bed and then hesitated, remembering all the things Helena had done, to them nonetheless.
"It's ok, she doesn't bite. Not if you're nice to her." Sarah prompted Alison quietly. Alison crossed her arms, uncrossed them and nodded.
She walked over and perched on the bed beside Sarah instead.
Sarah faced away from Cosima and sat up so she could look at Alison. She was rapidly fiddling with her fingers and then stopping them dead still, then by habit starting again. She only did this when she was over thinking. "Are you okay?" Sarah asked her with a concerned gaze.
Alison nodded firmly though her face told the opposite. "I'm fine. I don't really want to talk about it."
"There's obviously something wrong Alison. We are "Seestras" remember." Sarah smiled, mimicking Helena's accent as she said the particular word. She put her arm over Alison's shoulders. "Would you tell us if something really wasn't okay?"
"Would you?"
Sarah thought for a moment. "Yes, yeah I would." She responded. "You didn't answer my question."
"Yes." Alison lied, putting her hands up in defence. She liked to thing that she'd always come to them when she needed help but she had her own life outside of them, as they all did and she didn't know how much the two should be connected. She'd fought for her clone life to stay separate for so long, maybe it was denial? She didn't know. The two lives were practically one now. They were two deep into it, she'd found her sisters for goodness sake. They were battling a powerful company for information and human rights. Was Aynsley really worth talking about right now? Did she class in the personal life section (the one she tried not to overly share with her sisters) or the clone side? She was her monitor after all. She was so confused as to what to do and what she'd done.
"Whoa slow down with the thoughts Ali. Your face is making all kinds of car wrecks. Tell me what's wrong. You're another version of me, I can't think of a better person to tell. Except maybe Cosima, she's a lot smarter than me."
"Fine, fine. If you saw someone dying and you could have easily stopped it even though it wasn't your fault and you didn't do anything, you just stood there and watched, would that make you a murderer?" She asked with a hushed tone. She wasn't ready for circle time yet. If Helena heard she'd probably try and be helpful or loyal in an extreme way, her conscience couldn't handle another death to her name.
"If you didn't do it then you're not a murderer I guess. Though it's not exactly going to give you a free pass to heaven." She shrugged. "Wait a minute, this is about you. Who died?"
"Aynsley."
"Jesus Alison!" She hissed. "Did you leave any evidence? Do they know you were there?"
"No, I don't know! I didn't do anything to help! It's my fault she's dead!" She panicked in a whisper.
"Calm down, calm down. She deserved it anyway. Felix met her more than me and he said she's a bitch. She had it coming Ali."
"I just can't stop thinking about it. About there being a trial, about me going to jail. I can't go to jail Sarah!" She started to sob.
"You're not going to jail. Breathe. Helena's probably killed tons of people; you don't see her having a breakdown."
"Great Sarah. Remind me I'm on the same bed as a murderer, really puts my mind at ease." She sighed. They both looked at Cosima and Helena. Helena was fascinated by Cosima's hair. She was picking pieces up and letting them go. Occasionally asking "how you do this one?" and Cosima responded with a smile "The same way I told I did the others." Helena would repeat the process, making Cosima chuckle a little more every time. Cosima was still wiping at her wet eyes but she seemed more cheerful than before.
"See, she's perfectly fine." Sarah said to her.
"Cosima or Helena?"
"Both."
Alison nodded and cradled her own forehead with her hand. Her body was still rigid with all of the anxieties running through her head.
"Please calm down. It's going to be fine. If it was an accident there is no way they can pin it on you. C'mere." Sarah smiled. She pulled Alison down over her so that she was lying on the bed between her and Cosima. She looked a little startled but then exhaled and felt a little better.
"You're right. I'm going to stop worrying about it. I think to survive this whole clone life I need to toughen up a bit anyway. I'm just so sick of everything."
"What's got you wound up?" Sarah poked at her stomach a little playfully.
"I'm just tired of this clone stuff, of the Dyad institute, of our monitors, of how we're not real people anymore." She sighed. They'd returned to a normal conversation volume now.
Sarah rested her head on her elbow and Cosima rolled onto her back so she could look at Alison in regard to what she had said. "We are real people Ali. We have families and friends. We're living, breathing clones. We should celebrate that, not be ashamed." She sniffed.
Alison thought for a moment. "You're right."
Helena nodded. "We could kick anybody's ass."
"Absolutely." Sarah smiled.
Alison still looked a little upset.
"Do you need a hug?" Sarah asked. Alison shrugged and shook her head.
Helena didn't agree with her response. "I think Alison needs hug and Cosima needs hug too because French girl is bitch."
Both Alison and Cosima smiled. Without further warning, Helena lunged forward onto Cosima and Alison and just lay directly on top of them. Her head was resting on Alison's stomach.
Sarah snuggled into Alison's shoulder and reached her arm across Helena and held Cosima's hand also. Cosima smiled and settled into Alison and Helena. Alison put her arm on Sarah's shoulder and gave it an appreciative squeeze. Sarah nodded against her shoulder in recognition.
Cosima suddenly remembered the day's events and felt utterly miserable again. Sarah watched as another tear blinked down onto Cosima's cheek. "Cos, please don't cry. Delphine is not worth it. You can find way better girls. I'll keep my eye out for you, I have high standards for you though. She needs to tick all the boxes. Including not being colleagues with Dr Leekie."
Cosima smiled to her and wiped at her cheeks. "Thanks."
"Do you want me to kill her for you? She is weak, it would be easy." Helena mumbled into Alison's stomach, it directed at Cosima. They all laughed and looked at Cosima for a response.
"No that's quite alright thank you." She chuckled. "I like you Helena."
Helena looked up. "I like you too. I love my seestras, even you." She poked at Alison's stomach. "You are mean and annoying but I like you too. And you too twin seestra." She said to Sarah.
Sarah nodded and smiled. Looking at the all too familiar face they shared. "Well that's good because we love you too. You're with us now Helena and it should stay that way."
"I like that. Me and other seestra's join team and win."
"Yes. Something like that." Alison agreed.
"Where is seestra-brother?" Helena asked Sarah.
"Who is that?" Cosima asked.
"She means Fe."
As if on cue, Felix opened the shutters to their apartment and entered. "What's going on here? Clone orgy?" He smirked as he shut the makeshift door.
"No!" Alison outraged.
Sarah was surprised she knew what the word meant. "We're just hugging some stuff out." She explained to him.
"I see. Any room for a hottie?" He smirked.
"There's always room for you Fe." Sarah smirked back.
Felix walked over and laid down across the foot of the bed. Sarah put her bare feet on his legs.
"Oi, get your cheesy feet off me." He swatted at them.
"My feet are not cheesy!"
"They so are. They could feed hundreds of mice." He joked.
"Oooh." Cosima smiled. "Well played."
Felix nodded with satisfaction. "Thank you Cosima. Maybe you should be my sister instead. Clone for a clone?"
Sarah smirked and kicked him. Alison laughed.
"And you too." Felix looked up at Alison. "Didn't see you there but I'd totally trade her for you too."
"Why thank you." Alison smiled.
Felix moved up and against their legs. They all settled down and just closed their eyes.
Cosima was thankful for her dysfunctional family. They always knew what to do and say to make her smile. There was so much difference in upbringing and culture between her and the three other clones she was acquainted with. She certainly didn't need to worry about them being the same.
I feel better now Alison thought to herself and smiled. She had her sisters around her, the crazy one on her and Felix who was fast asleep cradling her legs. She had people who loved her and maybe, just maybe things were going to be okay.
Helena suddenly started shuffling around, as she was half on top of Alison, she was getting highly irritated. As she physically rolled over Alison felt her temper rising. She was rolling back and forth over her, trying to find a comfy spot.
"Helena, I swear to god-!" She outraged.
"Be quiet grumpy one. I am trying to sleep." Helena mumbled and stilled. She leaned upwards, moved her fringe and kissed Alison's forehead.
"Ugh!" Alison moaned.
Reviews are always cool. :)