With The Times
Ahmose Inarus
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds, nor do I make any profit off of writing this, other than my own personal enjoyment and satisfaction.
This is for the New Years Resolution Challenge on the Chit Chat On Author's Corner Forum!
My chosen character is: Spencer Reid
My extra assigned character is: David Rossi
My chosen resolution is: To be more in touch with the times
Late January
11:27 am
BAU
David Rossi sighed and sat back as he put his last signature on the paperwork he had been working on all morning. He was done, and it wasn't time for lunch yet. So he sighed, and decided that he may as well deal with something that needed to be dealt with. And so he picked up his phone.
"Hey. Could you come into my office for a minute?" He asked into the phone. "… Thanks." And he hung up. A moment later, there was a soft knock on his door. "Come on in!" He called, and young Dr. Spencer Reid shuffled in.
"Hey." The genius greeted softly.
"Have a seat." Rossi said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs.
"What's going on?" Reid asked, and Rossi gave him an amused look.
"You tell me, Agent Reid." Reid blinked in response to that, and Rossi shook his head. "You've wandered by my office five times since I got here." Rossi explained, and Reid immediately slumped a bit, dropping his eyes to the floor. "You want to see me about something. Here we are. What's on your mind?" Rossi stared at Reid, his curiosity increasing when Reid flushed. "Look kid." Rossi sighed. "We're a team. We're here to help more than just the people who need us on cases. We're here to help each other. We're a family."
Reid looked up at that, a small smile on his face, and right before Rossi's eyes, he relaxed.
"I uh… I made a New Year's Resolution." He finally admitted, and Rossi nodded, with a wry "Garcia made us ALL make a Resolution." Reid grinned in amusement at that, nodding back.
"So… What was YOUR resolution?" Rossi asked. "And why come to me about it?"
"… We had a case a while back. And Garcia made a comment that I didn't understand… something about how cabs are tracked more than… "GaGa's Twitter", I think?" Rossi nodded. "You said you would explain it to me… and you never did."
"And your Resolution?"
"… I… I don't want to always be in the dark about things like that. I… I wanna…"
"You want to learn about pop culture?"
"I want to be more in tune with the time, yes."
"And why come to me?"
"You seem to be… really good at that. I mean, generally, older generations are—"
"Kid, if you start calling me 'old' then you can forget about my help."
"If you keep calling me 'Kid' then what else am I supposed to refer to you as?"
"… Touche." Rossi chuckled, sitting back in his chair with a grin. "So. You want me to get you caught up with the times?"
"… Yeah."
"Alright then."
"You… You'll do it?"
"Sure. Why not?"
"Wow… I… Thank you, I—"
"How about you come over to my house after work and we'll get started."
"Sure!" Reid announced.
Sadly, that was not to be. A case came in that afternoon, and five pm found them on a plane headed to Nebraska. But ten minutes into the flight, Rossi walked over with a lap top and sat down next to Reid.
"What's up?" Reid asked.
"Lady G." He said. Reid blinked. "For the team, that's Garcia. But to the rest of the world, that would be Lady GaGa."
"… what?"
"Lady GaGa. She's a performer." Rossi said, setting the laptop down on the table in front of Reid. On it, was a picture of a woman with long blonde hair, and a metal something on her face under her eye. "This is her around the time her first album came out." Rossi said, and began clicking through pictures. Reid's eyes narrowed as he inspected this woman.
"… Is there a… name for that kind of style?" He eventually asked.
"Nope." Rossi said. "If there were, it would be named after her."
"… Is she wearing meat?"
"Yes." Rossi said. "Here. Read over these articles." He said, clicking a link. He watched as Reid rapidly read through them, and came out of it looking perplexed. "Now." Rossi said, pulling up YouTube. "Here's a playlist Garcia put together for you. I want you to watch the videos. The lyrics will appear at the bottom of the screen." He maximized the video to fill the entire screen, gave Reid a pair of headphones, and left him to watch while he went to get some coffee. And so Reid sat there, looking more and more baffled by the minute.
"What did you do?" JJ asked, as Rossi walked by to get some coffee. "I've never seen Spence looking so lost!" Morgan, Emily and Hotch looked up, also wondering.
"He uh… He's watching some music videos." Rossi said with a shrug.
"What kind?" Morgan asked, looking amused at his thoroughly bewildered friend.
"Uh… Lady GaGa." Rossi admitted.
"No way!" Emily announced. "I wanna watch!" And she moved to sit next to Reid, tugging the earphones out of the computer. A second later, "Paparazzi" was blasting out. JJ moved over to sit and watch on Reid's other side.
"Oh! We missed "Lovegame"…" JJ pouted. Reid glanced at her, as if wondering why this would be a bad thing. They watched "Poker Face", "Alejandro", and the girls sang along loudly to "Telephone" and "Bad Romance", Reid sitting between them and looking harassed. Then they watched "Born This Way", "Edge of Glory" and finished up with "Judas".
"Is it over?" Reid asked, hopefully. The girls moaned when Rossi confirmed that it was, and Reid sighed in relief. Until the girls started showing him YouTube videos of live performances, which Reid discovered were just as weird as the music videos. Hotch rescued him half an hour later by announcing that it was time to work, and they spent the rest of the flight looking over the case.
That evening when they headed to the hotel, Rossi approached Reid, and handed him a paperback book. Reid looked down at it.
"Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." He read the title.
"You've heard of Harry Potter."
"Yes."
"What do you know about it?" Rossi asked.
"… Not much. I know it's a kid who knows magic."
"This is the first of seven. Just read it tonight. We'll discuss it in the morning." And the man smiled and walked away, heading to his room. Reid showered, got into his pajamas and looked over the case for a bit. But then, his eyes strayed to the book. He sighed, picked it up, and began to read.
Rossi was just drifting off to sleep when there was a knock on the door. Grumbling, he stood up and went to the door. Opening it, he found a bright eyed Reid standing there, clutching the first Harry Potter. Reid smiled at him and said "Can I have the second book now?"
By the time the case was over, Reid had finished the Harry Potter series and found them delightful. He wasn't as thrilled with 'Twilight'. In fact, he had flat out refused to read the entire series, so completely disgusted was he. Morgan pat him on the back and told him that he was making the right choice, making Hotch smile to himself, while Rossi chuckled. JJ and Emily exchanged amused smiles as well. They got back early that evening, and Rossi had Reid come over to his house. He made dinner while Reid played HALO in the living room.
"What's the POINT of this game?" Reid blurted when Rossi came out of the kitchen.
"To blow away alien scum." Rossi said simply.
"… That's it?"
"that's it. A lot of people just like the mindlessness of the combat."
"… Why?"
"If you have to ask, then you're not as good at profiling as I thought." Rossi said, amused. Reid sighed and pouted, and Rossi let him switch to Grand Theft Auto. Reid was NOT a fan of that game either. Then, Rossi took Reid into his den, logged onto the computer and gave Reid a tour of Facebook and Twitter, though thanks to a few cases involving social networking sites, Reid was not as clueless as he could have been.
The next day, Garcia presented Reid with a stack of flashcards. On the front was a photo of a celebrity. On the back was their name, and why they were famous. She had Reid go through them, and she and Rossi quizzed him on them at dinner that evening, to the amusement of the rest of the team who had come along just for that reason…
"Britney Spears… Steven Spielberg… Taylor Swift… Tiger Woods… Matt Damon… Michael Jackson… Kim Kardashian… Cameron Diaz… Jay-Z… Stephen King… Gwen Stefani… How the hell do you pronounce her name?"
"Keh-shah." Garcia said.
"Why the dollar sign?"
"It's cute?"
"It's stupid."
"Shut up, Morgan."
"… Right. Whatever…" Reid sighed, looking disgruntled as Garcia went back to showing him the cards. "Bon Jovi… George Clooney… Marilyn Mason… Rachel Ray… Katy Perry… Charlie Sheen… Carrie Underwood… Tim Burton… Beyonce… Eminem… that's Rossi."
"I'm in there?" Rossi asked.
"Of course!" Garcia said with a smile. "You're a best selling author!"
"… crazy broad…" Rossi muttered under his breath, looking halfway amused.
"Can we stop now?" Reid asked, sounding weary.
"Sure. After dinner, you're coming to my place." Garcia told him. Reid stared at her, eyes wide.
"… why?"
"We're going to watch some television." Garcia announced.
"… Do I have to?" Reid whined. "I… I think I've learned enough!"
"No, Reid… you need to watch a few eps of SNL, TMZ, perhaps some 'Keeping Up With the Kardashians'—"
"I don't WANT to keep up with the Kardashians!" Reid cried, and many people turned to stare. "I don't CARE about the Kardashians! I don't understand why ANYONE would want to keep up with the Kardashians!"
"Because. People are obsessed with celebrity gossip." Garcia explained. "It's part of our culture!"
"It's the most WORTHLESS part of a culture I have ever seen!" Reid all but shouted, standing up. "I don't CARE how many kids Angelina Jolie has adopted, I don't CARE what Beyonce named her baby, I don't CARE whether or not Charlie Sheen has lost his mind, I don't CARE what Lindsay Lohan is being arrested for this time, I don't CARE how long Kim Kardashian was married for or how much her wedding cost and I don't understand why anyone WOULD! It's PATHETIC! If their lives are really so shallow and empty that they have to fill it with news of the latest celebrity scandals just to get excited, then they seriously need to consider rethinking their life and finding something to do WORTH doing!"
There was a loud snicker from across the room, and a teenage girl leaned over and whispered loudly to her friends, "Like what?"
"Oh, here we go…" Morgan groaned, letting his face fall into his hand as Reid turned on the girls.
"How about keeping up with something that matters, like the ever-shifting political state of countries all over the world! How about keeping up with state and national politicians so that you know what they are concerned about and know who to vote for? You can keep reading your stupid tabloids and filling your head with things that won't matter a week from today, or you can focus on things that REALLY matter and will affect you, like the political groups and individuals nationwide who are pushing to outlaw abortion in all circumstances, even in cases of rape, incest, or even when the mother's life is at risk! Or those who are trying to abolish birth control in all forms! Or about where there should be tax breaks, or bringing jobs back to America from overseas? Or the rapidly growing hatred of Islam world wide? Or the economic crisis in Europe or the rising tensions and additional sanctions against Iran? How about the new leader in North Korea? How about you pay attention to something that actually shows that you have some iota of actual intelligence?"
The girls stared at him, eyes wide.
"… You actually find that stuff interesting?" One of them said after a moment, rolling her eyes to her friends.
"Oh shit." Emily muttered.
"As a matter of fact, yes." Reid snapped. "Excuse me for caring about things that are more important that some random person getting pulled over for a DWI, or two random people getting divorced, or somebody else adopting a baby from overseas! But by all means, ignore all the important things in the world and keep up with the Kardashians. In a few years, when you've ruined your life because you're pregnant before High School graduation because birth control and abortion were outlawed, you'll have NO right to complain because you didn't do anything. Because guess what? Your rights and the laws of the land weren't as INTERESTING as the breakup of the Spice Girls!"
"… what?" One of the girls asked.
"Where the hell did that come from?" Another asked.
"What do you think of Britney Spears getting married while drunk in Vegas?" Reid asked. "Or Heath Ledger's death? Or the death of Anna Nicole? Or Selena?"
"Why would we care about that?" One asked. "That happened years ago."
"… Exactly. It's not important now. Nobody cares. So you're just… wasting your lives away on something that doesn't matter!" Then Reid whirled and looked at the team, oblivious to the entire restaurant staring at him. "You know what? Thanks for your willingness to help Rossi, but pop culture can screw itself!" The teams' mouths dropped open. "It is SO not worth keeping up with. This was the most idiotic New Years Resolution I've EVER made, and I'm DONE with it! Now if you will excuse me, I'm going home and catching up on the progress of the race for the Republican Presidential Candidate!"
"But Reid…" Garcia said. "You're a Democrat."
"So what? If you're gonna vote for someone, you should know ALL the candidates, not just your own. Otherwise, how the hell are you really making an informed decision?" And he slapped some cash down on the table to pay for his meal, and stalked out.
The team stared after Reid in shock. So did the girls he had just told off. After a moment, they all shook themselves out of it, the girls leaning in to whisper away rapidly with one another, and the team to see if the others were just as surprised.
"… Did that just actually happen?" Garcia asked, blinking her bespecled eyes.
Rossi was the one to move first. He pulled a twenty out of his wallet, tossed it down and leapt from his seat, running out the door. He saw Reid nearly a block away already, and began to jog after him, cursing his age. He caught up with Reid (no easy feat considering the long angry strides Reid had been taking) and grabbed his wrist. Reid spun, identified Rossi, and stopped. He turned to face the man fully, and waited silently while the elder man got his breath back.
"I'm sorry." Reid suddenly announced. Rossi blinked, surprised.
"You're sorry." He repeated. "For what?"
"I… I'm sorry I wasted your time this past week."
"My time."
"the time and effort you spent helping me with that stupid Resolution. And then I go off in there like a child and figuratively spit on your time and effort! And… I am so sorry, I… I shouldn't have disrespected you like that."
"Disrespected me?" Rossi blurted, putting his hands on his hips. "Look kid, if you disrespect me, believe me when I say that I will tell you! What you did in there? You were NOT disrespecting me, and you definitely did not waste my time! Every moment was WORTH it for the privilege to have witnessed that spectacle you just made!" Reid winced.
"I am SO sorry… That was so inappropriate of me, I—"
"Inappropriate? Are you joking?" Rossi interrupted. "Kid, I wanted to applaud!" Reid looked very taken aback at that. "That was brilliant! And you know what?"
"… What?"
"Every word of it was true. No one can fault what you said. And you know what?"
"… what?" Reid asked again, looking at the man with a bemused expression.
"I am so damn proud of you for speaking up like that." Reid looked blown away by this. "I would say that you learned something new today, wouldn't you?"
"… Yeah… I guess I did."
"and for a genius who knows everything…"
"I do NOT know everything." Reid snorted. Rossi just gave him a lopsided smile.
"I respect you, Agent Reid. For the man you are, with your intelligence, your beliefs, your morals and your wisdom, which is far beyond your years. You were honest and true to yourself. And that's the best thing a man can be."
Reid took a deep breath at those words, closing his eyes and letting it out slowly. And his distress went with his breath. Rossi watched the young man relax before him. When Reid looked at Rossi again, he was at peace.
"Thanks, Dave." He said.
"You're more than welcome, kiddo." He said, and the pair nodded at each other, then stood in silence for a moment. "… You know…" Reid looked up at Rossi. "the President delivered his State of the Union Address the other night."
"Yeah… I was annoyed that we missed it." Reid grumbled. Rossi grinned.
"I have it on my DVR at home." He said, and Reid looked at him. "Why don't you come over to my place, we'll have a few drinks and see what Mr. Obama had to say, hm? Do something a little more worthy of our time than watch 'Keeping Up With the Kardashians'…"
"I would love to." Reid said, and the pair turned and head down the street towards where Rossi was parked.
"You know… I hear that the debate in Florida was pretty interesting."
"You don't say?"
"What do you think of Gingrich?"
"… Honestly? The first thing I think of is something that I saw on Letterman as a kid."
"Letterman?" Rossi asked.
"Dad watched it." Dad watched it.
"Okay…"
"A Top Ten List…"
"Alright…" Rossi said, slowly.
"Top Ten Ways to Mispronounce Newt Gingrich."
"… Uh oh… And?"
"Well… it's what I think of every time I hear the man's name."
"And that is?"
"Neutered Lungfish."
"… Wow."
"I know, right? Funny… a bit of pop culture from years ago that still lives today."
"No kidding… Neutered Lungfish?"
"Neutered Lungfish."
"Alright. Let's go watch the debate between Mr. Romney and Mr. Lungfish."
"Heh… Neutered Lungfish…"
END
Thank you so much for reading! I struggled with writer's block for weeks, and then it all exploded into a full story over my lunch break at work! Hope you enjoy!
And if you're a fan of my stories, I have a poll up on my profile with some Kink Meme prompts that I would like to tackle. Please go and cast your lot to let me know which one YOU'RE most eager to see! They will all be SLASH and will all be Reid-centric!
Please review!