The Crying Raven
Have fun reading this, I got the inspiration from a picture and Edgar Allan Poe's: The Raven
I don't own this series
Beta: DrummerDancer. Thanks for helping me out with this story. Love ya sis!
Sadness, sadness as grey as the winter sky. Soul-tearing grief that consumed his ever-fading being. Darkness that clouded his mind and drained his life to a shriveled husk of what was before and what was now. The once brightly painted apartment that resonated with cries of joy and soft laughter was now reduced to bleak and painful memory of what could never be again.
The once pleasant smell of flowers and freshly prepared food was gone and replaced with the musky scent of alcohol and tobacco smoke. The sink was cluttered with dirty china, the garbage bin filled to the brim with empty bottles of beer and paper plates. Once brown wall paper that depicted sparrows flying in a caramel sky with beautiful hand-painted clouds now tearing and chipping away into nothingness.
It was a depressing scene of what happens to a person after the death of a loved one, a once happy person who saw the world as his canvas and that as long as she was with him, nothing could stop him. Was now a broken, sad and beaten human being. So tired, so dreadfully tired of living day by day alone. Sitting on his couch, smoking his lungs black and drinking himself into a coma.
But he just couldn't fight anymore, he couldn't dream. Not a single dream of her, not a single smile appeared in his colorless dreams. Only nightmares of the incident, the same dark night, the same red car and the same lake. He could still hear her telling him to leave, to save himself and let her die. Because as lord as his witness she adored him. He wanted to be with her. To die with her and go to heaven with her. Yet she still pushed him out of the car, locked the door and kissed the glass, tears streaming down her wet face, a sad smile telling him to swim away. And her red scarf floating in front of him before the car completely sank.
She was stubborn; she always wanted to protect him. Yet he wanted to protect her and in the end she won and he lost. Oh man, did he loose. He would never get her back, never enjoy her presence. Feel her love or feel her comforting touch that would create arousal. The moans of love that she only did for him. Her strong yet gentle embrace that she gave them while they slept, none of this he had.
But he could still hear her voice; he could still see her smile and still hear her laughter. But it wasn't joyful to him; it caused more pain than missing it.
"Good morning, baby," came her sweet voice that made his spine shiver and eyes water. Recordings, recordings of memories. He always thought that she was beautiful enough to be on camera; her hair was incredible. Raven black and silky, like fine Egyptian cotton, her features more beautiful than any Mona Lisa. As if God had painted her on a canvas thinking of his wife, if he had a wife. Radiant beauty that would make anything else look less beautiful in comparison and eyes, black irises that often stared into his soul and his heart as if looking at the real him.
"Morning, honey. Happy three year anniversary." He took a swig of the clear bottle in his hand. Eyes red and distant glazed over with pain. Reflecting insomnia and weariness but he didn't care anymore. There wasn't anything to care for anymore.
"Oh Eren, you shouldn't have." A smile appeared on her radiant sleepy features, eyes shining with joy that made his heart tightened and the bottle in his hand too empty.
"Mikasa, I did it because I love you," came his own disembodied voice, flowing through the speakers of his stereo. A voice filled with happiness and no worries, no cares except for her. Her eyes glowed more and more stunning, ripping his heart from his chest and causing him to double up from his seat. Tears running down his face, mouth open in silent screams of pain and anguish. Oh God how he missed her. The pain was too much, why couldn't it have been him? No one cared for him. His father abandoned him after his mother died. His best friend moved to another country, no other family to speak of. It was just her.
At the funeral people looked at him with hate, her parents blamed her death on him. Saying it should have been him who died, not her, not their baby girl. She was going to be a doctor, like his father. For saving her life when she was younger. He was still in college thinking about joining the army to help pay the bills. But she forbid him saying she would leave him , because she couldn't live thinking the person she loved could die at any second while she stayed home like an obedient little house wife.
"But baby," he trailed, a smile on his face.
"You don't expect me to live forever, do you?"
He could just imagine her saying that back to him. "You didn't expect me to live forever, did you, Eren?"
"Mikasa…I'm sorry…it should have been me!" He was sobbing; he could taste the salty tears that strolled down his face and stained his dark shirt. His jeans stained with burn marks from ash falling on him, torn from his excessive scratching. Not a single visitor since her death, not a single letter or call. It was as if the world had forgotten about him like he had forgotten about them.
"Eren, it's amazing where did—"
Tap tap.
There was someone tapping at his window. Tap tap, louder this time. He looked around his trashed apartment, then got up. Confusion taking a hold of his drunken mind, his face seldom carried emotion as he looked through his window.
There was no one, nothing save for the sound of cars and people talking as they passed and the cold wind of winter. Thinking nothing about he closed his window then turned.
Tap tap.
There it was again. Harder and more pronounced as if saying, 'Open the window'. His spine shivered and his skin crawled with gooseflesh.
"What the…"
He turned and saw something unexpected. It was a bird, a giant black bird unlike anything he'd ever seen before. It was like a crow, but much bigger, his feathers darker and longer and his eyes more menacing than any other bird he'd ever encountered. Hesitating, he unlatched the window lock and raised it. The bird did not fly away in fear nor did it falter the least bit. It stood sitting on the brow oak wood of the window frame, staring at him.
Its gaze was both alien and oddly familiar. It reminded him of someone but he did not know who. Its black eyes stared into him. To his very soul, the bird must of sensed his discomfort for it shrieked. A menacing screech that made Eren step back and his body shiver. What was this bird and why was it looking at him? Why did it not fly and leave him like the rest?
The bird slowly walked inside, its black feet taking it into the warm apartment. It ruffled its feathers and shrieked once more. Ah, he thought. The bird is cold and wants a warm place to stay. Only this and nothing more
"You're my first visitor, Mr. Bird. Or should I say Ms. Bird?" He asked quietly, stepping aside and allowing him entry.
The bird dropped from the window sill and landed on his rugged floor, scanning the room. Such elegance, he thought, but maybe it was his mind, tipsy beyond his own guess. Perhaps this bird wasn't real. Maybe it was the product of a grieving mind and too much alcohol. An illusion, ah yes. An illusion, and nothing more.
He looked at the wide screen that was perched on the wall. The recording had finished, showing a black screen with green letters that spelled auxiliary. He noticed how tired he was; he hadn't slept well in over a week. Too much pain for him to close his eyes, and even if he did he wouldn't dream. But the bird's presence felt oddly comforting. Even if he couldn't see it, or it just wasn't real, he felt small peace in his heart that made his eyes want to close.
The sofa's bedding felt like it was sucking him in, caressing his face with promise of rest. The room slowly went dark, and his consciousness drifted away in a river of bliss. There was light but no sun and clouds that felt like cotton candy against his skin but did not stick to him. Mist that blinded him yet allowed him to see. It felt warm, strange and comforting, as if drawing him out, making him keep walking.
A light.
It flashed in front of him, so bright it should have hurt his eyes, yet it didn't. It was beautiful, amazing and radiant. He felt drawn to it.
That's when he hear it.
His name.
That voice.
Her voice.
Her silhouette standing in front of him so far yet so close. He could not see her face nor did he see what she wore, the light was too bright and it casted her in a shadow.
"Mikasa…?" he asked, hope rising in his heart.
"Eren…" she responded, her voice quiet yet full of so much joy.
He couldn't believe it, she was there! But his feet did not move. Nor did the rest of his body. He was frozen. He wanted to yell. But no sound left his mouth.
"My darling, sweet Eren. I miss you." Her voice was breaking, breaking into sobs.
His eyes were watering, tears already falling.
"I love you, Eren. I want to be with you."
I want to be with you too! No, Mikasa, please listen to me! He thought desperately.
"Baby…you have to move on...you can't live like this…it's not your fault I died. The other car was in our lane. Don't hate yourself for something that you could not prevent…"
He could hear her crying. Not of sadness, but of joy, he could not fathom why.
I can't move on Mikasa… Without you my life is nothing…
"It's not your time… You still have so much to do baby." She got closer and closer until she was in front of him, her face obscured by the light.
"Thank you… For wrapping your scarf around me when I was cold."
No! Mikasa, wait!
"Thank you for always being there when I was alone." Her hand went up to his face drying his tears away. Her hand was warm. It made him cry. She was here. He could feel her. But he couldn't wrap his arms around her he couldn't feel her in his heart.
"Thank you…. For loving me Eren."
He could see her face now, her amazing beauty that shined, her porcelain face that carried no blemishes. Her pearly white teeth that made her smile perfect. Her eyes dripping with tears, and her amazing tender loving smile that he had missed. That made his heart beat faster and his soul melt from his spirit.
Mikasa…
He awoke from his dream sobbing uncontrollably. His hands muffling his sobs of sadness. He could feel her, she was still here. She never left. She was always right where he didn't want to look. Some place he had abandoned so many months ago.
His heart.
After he had calmed down, he could hear the familiar tapping sound against his window. The bird, laid perched upon his window tapping at the glass. Expecting it to open the same way as before. Eren walked towards him, and he stared at it while it stared back.
"Thank you so much…Raven."
He opened the window and the raven flew away not saying goodbye, not shrieking, not screeching, just flying away into the night's sky never looking back.
He never saw it again.
A few days later, Eren hear the same tapping, but it wasn't coming from his window. It was coming from his door. Curious to see who it was, he opened it.
A girl smaller than him, thin with blonde hair tied up into a pony tail and a bang that covered her eye, stood in front of him. A face that held no emotions and blue eyes that swam with them. Her hands stuffed into her grey hoodie and her face turned towards him.
"I'm the new tenant that moved next door, just thought I'd be polite or whatever and come and say hello." She pulled her hand from her hoodie's pocket with ease and extended it.
"My name is Annie, Annie Leonhardt."
Eren smiled and extended his own hand, grasping hers.
"Eren, Eren Jaeger, pleased to meet you."
The future seemed a little brighter and the sky a lot more colorful after the raven visited him.
AUTHORS NOTES:
Thank you all for reading my story, I know some of you might be wondering 'WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO POST THE 3rd CHAPTER OF CHWHM?' Haha, some of you even messaged me. Which I though was amazing! Thank you so much. Really I thought of dropping it but I cant let you guys down! So I will be posting it soon!