Hey there, everyone! This is your authoress speaking! I've just received some ingenious advice
from Eternity's Voice and I'm going to follow it.
And the Moon Smiled was my first story I'd ever written, so I'm going to do a little editing. Nothing major, but some stuff just has to go. For example, the first and second chapters will be combined and some errors will be corrected. I've also deleted my Author's Notes because they upset my chapter numbering, which has always annoyed me, but I've just not done anything about it until now.
A big thanks to Eternity's Voice for her suggestions and very helpful comments! This new and revised chapter is for you! Even though you've read it already... Oh well. My next update will be for you too. ;)
Chapter 1: The Dream
Rhiannon Cealodhain ambled along the path to the nurseries, complaining to herself about what a horrible day she was having. Of course, going to see the younglings wasn't horrible, but cleaning up after them and staying up late into the dawn hours to tend to their whinnying protests was. After all, she was barely out of her filly years herself. Why should she have to take on the responsibilities of her recently deceased parents when she had three older sisters? Of course, she knew the answer to that. All of her sisters already had lifemates and younglings of their own to care for. They had no time to bother with abandoned younglings, especially since they were merely young horses, not civilized Centaurs. Though Rhiannon's heart went out to these pitiful animals, she couldn't stand such a responsibility.
She knew it was an honor for her to be allowed to participate in the training and care of the horses. After all, her family had been the best horse trainers in an tSionainn. But being a Centaur, she should handle the horses well. Because she could run faster than most Centaurs and remain as graceful as a deer, a common attribute of Centaurs, it was easy to teach the younglings how to adopt her gaits as their own, therefore making the fastest horses in Eire. That thought brightened her spirit a little.
As Rhiannon neared the clearing of her little wooded path, a sudden break in the trees where the sunlight shone through caught on her gold-colored coat, illuminating it smartly and sending ripples of light down to play on the grass. She smiled as she thought of how her mother used to say that the Sun must have come down and touched her with His rays when she was a foal.
Rhiannon looked much like her mother, in fact, with her gold coat that darkened to black at her legs. She also shared the same ebony curls that surrounded her honey-colored face and cascaded down past her shoulders, almost touching her furred back. Her eyes were the most remarkable thing about her, being as gold as the rest of her, but strangely turned up at the corners. Those eyes turned sharply at a small noise to the right of her, then suddenly smiled along with her lips as she caught sight of her "stalker."
Rhiannon shouted, "I see you!" and then laughed as her brother Lugh came out of the brush. Lugh had the same strangely shaped eyes as his sister, but his were so dark they were almost black, as was the rest of him.
"I almost did it," he grumbled.
Rhiannon simply laughed, "You never will," and grinned wickedly at his glare.
She squealed girlishly as he lunged at her, then galloped the rest of the way to the nurseries, Lugh hot on her tail.
The night was cool, but not so cool that Rhiannon had to lay down another blanket in the tent she shared with Lugh. She settled down on the thin sleeping mat, thinking about her day. It had been hard work at the nurseries, but not any harder than it usually was. It left her satisfied, but tired. Sleep came easily...
Darkness, nothingness, cold. Where am I? What's happening? A reply: You are in the beginning of things. Suddenly, a light, a sense of moving forward. A strange world. What do you want from me? Your help Why? Because you have The Gift. I don't know what you're talking about. Cold laughter. Fire, burning, make it stop, please what do you want helpmeLughhelpme--
Rhiannon sat bolt upright on her blanket, sweating and shaking. The dream. It had been so real, but Rhiannon couldn't be sure if it wasn't either. She tried to get back to sleep, but her thoughts prevented her. Finally, she got up from her sleeping mat and went outside to look at the stars.
The Moon was full, like a big, white jewel shining its eerie light and giving everything a silvery tint. For a while, she just stood there, drinking in the light like a plant, letting it chase away her fear. Suddenly, she felt a cool calm come over her, and she forgot the strange dream. It was as if the whole of nature was comforting her, giving her strength for what it knew would come. And very faintly, she felt and then heard a gentle throbbing, like a great heartbeat, surrounding her, becoming her. Her eyes widened as she came out of the trance. The trees and grass laughed at her surprise, and the moon smiled. Or did it?
Don't be silly Rhiannon, trees and grass don't laugh and the moon can't smile.
But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't convince herself otherwise. Rhiannon shook her head and went back to the tent that she and her brother shared, and sank into a troubled sleep.
Well, that's all for now. I'll be revising the other chapters in my spare time, but now I have to go. I'm supposed to be at school, but we had a 2 hour delay because of snow. Of course, news of the delay came AFTER I had already showered and dressed, so I couldn't sleep in and I had nothing to do for 2 and a half hours. But, alas, school awaits. See you guys later!
Your Crazy Authoress,
littlehorse :)
And the Moon Smiled was my first story I'd ever written, so I'm going to do a little editing. Nothing major, but some stuff just has to go. For example, the first and second chapters will be combined and some errors will be corrected. I've also deleted my Author's Notes because they upset my chapter numbering, which has always annoyed me, but I've just not done anything about it until now.
A big thanks to Eternity's Voice for her suggestions and very helpful comments! This new and revised chapter is for you! Even though you've read it already... Oh well. My next update will be for you too. ;)
Chapter 1: The Dream
Rhiannon Cealodhain ambled along the path to the nurseries, complaining to herself about what a horrible day she was having. Of course, going to see the younglings wasn't horrible, but cleaning up after them and staying up late into the dawn hours to tend to their whinnying protests was. After all, she was barely out of her filly years herself. Why should she have to take on the responsibilities of her recently deceased parents when she had three older sisters? Of course, she knew the answer to that. All of her sisters already had lifemates and younglings of their own to care for. They had no time to bother with abandoned younglings, especially since they were merely young horses, not civilized Centaurs. Though Rhiannon's heart went out to these pitiful animals, she couldn't stand such a responsibility.
She knew it was an honor for her to be allowed to participate in the training and care of the horses. After all, her family had been the best horse trainers in an tSionainn. But being a Centaur, she should handle the horses well. Because she could run faster than most Centaurs and remain as graceful as a deer, a common attribute of Centaurs, it was easy to teach the younglings how to adopt her gaits as their own, therefore making the fastest horses in Eire. That thought brightened her spirit a little.
As Rhiannon neared the clearing of her little wooded path, a sudden break in the trees where the sunlight shone through caught on her gold-colored coat, illuminating it smartly and sending ripples of light down to play on the grass. She smiled as she thought of how her mother used to say that the Sun must have come down and touched her with His rays when she was a foal.
Rhiannon looked much like her mother, in fact, with her gold coat that darkened to black at her legs. She also shared the same ebony curls that surrounded her honey-colored face and cascaded down past her shoulders, almost touching her furred back. Her eyes were the most remarkable thing about her, being as gold as the rest of her, but strangely turned up at the corners. Those eyes turned sharply at a small noise to the right of her, then suddenly smiled along with her lips as she caught sight of her "stalker."
Rhiannon shouted, "I see you!" and then laughed as her brother Lugh came out of the brush. Lugh had the same strangely shaped eyes as his sister, but his were so dark they were almost black, as was the rest of him.
"I almost did it," he grumbled.
Rhiannon simply laughed, "You never will," and grinned wickedly at his glare.
She squealed girlishly as he lunged at her, then galloped the rest of the way to the nurseries, Lugh hot on her tail.
The night was cool, but not so cool that Rhiannon had to lay down another blanket in the tent she shared with Lugh. She settled down on the thin sleeping mat, thinking about her day. It had been hard work at the nurseries, but not any harder than it usually was. It left her satisfied, but tired. Sleep came easily...
Darkness, nothingness, cold. Where am I? What's happening? A reply: You are in the beginning of things. Suddenly, a light, a sense of moving forward. A strange world. What do you want from me? Your help Why? Because you have The Gift. I don't know what you're talking about. Cold laughter. Fire, burning, make it stop, please what do you want helpmeLughhelpme--
Rhiannon sat bolt upright on her blanket, sweating and shaking. The dream. It had been so real, but Rhiannon couldn't be sure if it wasn't either. She tried to get back to sleep, but her thoughts prevented her. Finally, she got up from her sleeping mat and went outside to look at the stars.
The Moon was full, like a big, white jewel shining its eerie light and giving everything a silvery tint. For a while, she just stood there, drinking in the light like a plant, letting it chase away her fear. Suddenly, she felt a cool calm come over her, and she forgot the strange dream. It was as if the whole of nature was comforting her, giving her strength for what it knew would come. And very faintly, she felt and then heard a gentle throbbing, like a great heartbeat, surrounding her, becoming her. Her eyes widened as she came out of the trance. The trees and grass laughed at her surprise, and the moon smiled. Or did it?
Don't be silly Rhiannon, trees and grass don't laugh and the moon can't smile.
But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't convince herself otherwise. Rhiannon shook her head and went back to the tent that she and her brother shared, and sank into a troubled sleep.
Well, that's all for now. I'll be revising the other chapters in my spare time, but now I have to go. I'm supposed to be at school, but we had a 2 hour delay because of snow. Of course, news of the delay came AFTER I had already showered and dressed, so I couldn't sleep in and I had nothing to do for 2 and a half hours. But, alas, school awaits. See you guys later!
Your Crazy Authoress,
littlehorse :)