Part one

Mello came home early from his little visit to Whammy house. He had the biggest and most mischievous grin on his face… he knew something… something embarrassing… about Matt; and goddamn it, he was going to use it, the first chance he got!

He opened the door to his house, which he shared with his fiancée, and strode in like the king of the world before plopping down on the leather couch and pulling a bar of chocolate out of the mini fridge next to it. "Oh, Pistol-bug! Could you come out here for a second, my love?" even his tone had a hint of wickedness in it.

"What is it?" Matt said softly, striding into the room, but not looking up from his game. Mello waited until the constant beeping scratched at his eardrums and seemed to speak to him. "Do it, Mihael! Do it!"

"How was your day, my little Kiwi?"

"Fine… how was yo.." Matt finally looked up. "What did you just call me?"

"Nothing you haven't heard before, Kiwi…. Isn't that what dear sweet daddy used to call his widdle baby boy?" Mello mocked with a grin.

Matt's jaw dropped and his hands fumbled with the game in his hands. He turned it off before he dropped it too. "That's it! I need to make a phone call!" he pulled out his cell and called Near. "Hey, little buddy… listen; I really need to know what Roger used to call Mello before I got there. Yeah… uh-huh… oh, really? Thank you." He hung up and wrapped his arms around Mello, who was still celebrating. "Don't ware yourself out, widdle Funny-face."

Mello froze. "Matt!"

"Hey, fair is a fair, baby cake… or should I say… Funny-face?" He laughed and began to sing, off key and on purpose. "Oh, funny face, I looove yooou, funny face, I neeed yooou!" he laughed even harder as he watched the blushing blond practically steaming with anger and embarrassment.

"Ha! T-that's still nothing compared to what L used to call me, my darling KIWI!"

"Oh? Then, excuse me. I have another phone call to make." Matt pulled out his phone and dialed L's number, achingly slow to tease Mello. Mello couldn't take it. He pounced on Matt and ticked him until L answered. "Just a second L." Matt told him and pinned Mello to the ground, arms above his head, legs spread and face down. He made sure not to move a muscle, no matter how much Mello squirmed.

"I need to ask you a question…"

"Oh? I see… well, I won't tell you. Not over the phone. Grab Mihael and get here as soon as you can. I believe it's time for some tough brotherly love." L said with a grin. He hung up before Matt could respond and started getting ready.

Now Matt was faced with the challenge of sneaking Mello over to L's hotel room without him knowing where they were going or why. Then, it hit him. Chocolate! "Come get it, love bug!" Matt called out and tossed a pleasantly sized bar of chocolate into the passenger's seat of his 1994 Nissan Skyline GT R34. Mello dove after it like Ryuk would dive for a ripe red apple. Matt's plan was working.

He could feel his pleasing reprisal coming as they sped down the twisting roads to L's hotel. He grinned to himself as he watched Mello lap up the melting chocolate. Matt loved the feeling he got, wondering what dark things L may have to tell him. It didn't click for Mello until they pulled up to L's hotel. "Wait… ah shit." Mello hung his head.

"Come on out, Funny-face, let's get this over with." Matt retorted with a grin. Mello got out of the car and followed Matt into the building and up to L's suite. The door was open and L sat on the couch with only two things on the coffee table in front of him… one of which, scared the tar out of Mello- a bowl of ice cream, and Mello's baby photo album.

"Oh this is gonna be good!" Matt nearly squealed as L patted the couch seat next to him. The redhead sat down and pulled Mello onto his lap so he couldn't escape. L opened the book to show a naked baby mello that was coated from his nose down to his toes in melted chocolate and a cynical grin on his face. Matt squealed "KAWAII!!!"

Mello turned pale. He couldn't believe that L would actually show him these pictures! "This next one is how he got his widdle nickname… he used to wear this all the time!" L bragged, leaving Matt on the edge of his seat before he turned the page. "Remember this one, Skipper?" L asked, showing the couple a picture of the three year old Mello in a sailor suit! He was hiding his smirk and his blush behind an over sized rainbow lollipop.

Part two

Matt almost went crazy! "You're so fuckin adorable! My lovely little SKIPPER!!!"

"Don't call me that! L is the only one that can get away with that! Nii-san! Why'd you tell him?!" Mello pouted. He and Near used to call L their Nii-san, because he was their big brother figure. He couldn't believe he would do that to him. L chucked and kissed his forehead before getting off the couch and going into the kitchen, leaving the couple to look through the photo book.

Fifty-five pages, front and back, of humiliation seemed to drag by for the blond. He groaned every once in a while and Matt would kiss his cheek or sometimes his neck. When they got to the end, they noticed one picture that seemed out of place. Mello's wicked grin and his facial color came right back to him with this joyous sight. He snapped a picture of it with his cell phone camera.

"L, my loving brother, I'm afraid Matt and I have to go home now… we still have to make plans for our wedding." Mello mused to L in the kitchen.

L thought that his new-found cheery tone meant the blond had forgiven him… most likely because of Matt. He had no clue that Near had placed all the baby pictures in one album. Mello had the most, L had one, and Near burned all of his that he didn't take home and hide. Poor sweet L thought the couple would be going home to fuck and make wedding plans… he was wrong. "Be safe you two!"

Mello grinned and walked out. Matt took a copy of his two favorite pictures and went after him. He noticed the mischievous grin and decided to ask what was on his lover's mind. Mello replied calmly "I'm getting even," and pressed the send button on his phone. They sat in the car and waited…

Light woke up to his text tone and groaned as he grabbed the phone. "What is it now, Mello?" he muttered to himself and opened the picture. It seemed to wake him up and even the "mighty god of the new world" squealed out loud before calling his crush. "L-chan! That's so kawaii!"

"What is? Oh? Oh my…" L flipped through the photo album and gasped when he saw his picture in the back. "DAMN IT, MIHAEL!!!" The inexplicable picture was L, age two, sitting naked in a crate of sugar with strawberry jam all over his face.

Mello lay back in delight and took it all in as Matt started driving. "Well now… isn't this nice, Kiwi?"

"Sure is… Skipper."

[END]