Whipped By Mrs. Lily Potter
By: neen
Author's note: The third volume of the 'W series' (Ways to Ask Out Miss Lily Evans and Winning Miss Lily Evans Over) is here!…what do you think?
Hope you all like this! Please review as well…(I accept anonymous reviews, so no need to login if you don't want to…and guests, you can review now too!)
Enjoy!
If you have not read Ways To Ask Out Miss Lily Evans and Winning Miss Lily Evans Over, please do so, because I will refer to some of the events that happened in there in this sequel! Once again, this is the THIRD VOLUME! Please go read Ways To Ask Out Miss Lily Evans and Winning Miss Lily Evans Over if you have not already!
Chapter One: Wedding Jitters
James was looking quite pale.
Awfully pale.
In fact, he looked whiter than the white paper in his hands.
He stared at the words and gulped. THINGS TO DO FOR WEDDING DAY.
Of course, being a full-fledged procrastinator, James had left this particular memo tacked onto his wall for about two weeks without looking at it. That is, until today.
Today, which happened to be his wedding day.
The first word that came to his mind was 'Crap it.'
Or should I say, the first two words?
Frantically, he used the special mirror that he and Sirius used to maintain a connection and called over Sirius.
Sirius joyfully came over and clamped a friendly hand onto James's shoulder, gushing in a non-Siriusy way, "My little Jamesie! All grown up! Gettingmarried! Adowable."
"Shut up, Padfoot," James said sourly, still looking quite pale.
"I'd never imagine the day," Sirius continued, looking overly happy, ignoring James's words. "This is going to be a splendid day!"
James arched an eyebrow up. "All right. What's wrong, Padfoot?"
Sirius looked politely bewildered. "Eh, what?"
James rolled his eyes. "I know you, Padfoot. There's got to be something wrong with you. First of all, you're too damn cheerful, and I know that you're definitely not a morning person—"
"Correction!" Sirius cut in, "It's approximately 12:02 P.M., which one would say is 'noon'."
"Oh, shut up."
"I'm just saying!" Sirius complained, flinging his arms dramatically in the air.
"Anyways," James said, going back on track, "You never say the word 'splendid'. You said that people who say the word 'splendid' in a boisterous manner like you just did are very fat and fruity. Like Slughorn. Not like you."
Sirius's fake smile fell through. Immediately, tears began forming in his intense dark gray eyes.
He wailed loudly, "PRONGS! You know me!"
James sighed. "Yes, Padfoot. I'm afraid I do."
Sirius carried on his sobbing. "Prongsie! It's just that, you getting married wasn't part of the grand scheme!"
"Eh, what grand scheme is this now, Padfoot?" James asked, looking quite puzzled.
"The Marauders' way of living, of course!" Sirius explained passionately, spraying spit onto James's face.
James wiped away the spit with his sleeve, looking disgruntled. "Um, sorry to inform you, Padfoot, but we've been out of Hogwarts for over two years now."
Sirius nodded. "I know. But, we were supposed to be bachelors for life! Live together, eat together, poop together, have kids tog—wait, not the last one. But you broke it!"
"Broke it?"
"Yes!" Sirius said zealously, "Think for a minute, Prongs. Who is the only one out of all four Marauders to date one girl steadily for three years? THREE BLOODY YEARS."
"Um. Me?"
"Yes. You see, currently, Peter, Remus, and I are all single and not married."
"I'm not married!"
"Yet. Today is your wedding day, is it not?" Sirius asked impatiently.
"Well, yeah," James mumbled.
Sirius suddenly lunged at James and engulfed him in a tight, non-guy-to-guy hug. "JAMESIE! I'm going to miss you."
James looked half-way revolted, half-way surprised. "Miss me? I'm still hanging around you guys. What are you talking about? I'm not going to die any day soon. Not if I can help it, anyways."
Sirius leaned back, shaking his head sadly. "Oh, but, Prongs! Don't you know? Once you're married, you would be considered dead. It's Lily Evans we're talking about here! She won't let you out of the house, let you breathe, or worse, hang out with your cronies!"
James snorted. "Ridiculous, Padfoot. Honestly."
Sirius's face was rather grave. "You don't believe me? What happened to dear old Frank when he married Alice last month?"
James scratched his head. "Erm. I dunno. Haven't heard from him much actually."
"Exactly!" Sirius said, "He died! Snuffed it. I bet Alice murdered him by giving him a tiny dose of poison every day until he finally keeled over."
James looked horrified at this news. "You're sure about this?"
"Well, no," Sirius grudgingly admitted, "but, I'm pretty sure that's what happened. I haven't heard much from him either. So, if he's not dead, where is he?" Sirius said in a mysterious voice.
"Eh."
Suddenly, there was a knock at the front door. James Apparated over and opened it to find a crowd of men.
"Moony, old pal! And you, Wormtail! FRANK?" James addressed each, and looked at the third person in great horror.
"That's my name, old chap! How are you these days?" Frank said with a genial smile and extended his hand for a handshake.
James could only stare at Frank's hand.
Sirius Apparated over with a loud 'pop' and settled himself into giving Remus and Peter Marauder-style hugs.
"You—you're in fine health?" James croaked out, still staring at Frank's hand.
"Er, yes," Frank replied and shook his hand slightly. "I think so."
James hesitantly shook his hand. To his great surprise, it was quite warm and solid.
"Padfoot!" James exploded. "You absolute arse!"
Sirius had already sneakily hid himself among the rest of the people.
James sighed and looked out at the various people on his doorstep. "And what brings all of you here?" He asked pleasantly.
"Oh, we're here to help you with your wedding, of course!" Peter said, giving a large smile.
"Aw, you guys. Come in!" James said, giving a grin as well.
James, with the crowd of guys around him, read over the list.
"THINGS TO DO FOR WEDDING DAY
-Pick up rings.
-Pick up tux.
-Force Sirius to wear normal best man's suit instead of the pink flamingo outfit he insists on. (I mean it, James).
-Attempt to flatten hair down some. (Try).
-Remember the Marriage-Binding Spell."
James's face returned to a normal colored hue. "Well, that's not so bad. Just five things to do."
Remus nodded. "We can split things up. It'll be faster that way. How many hours do you have till the wedding starts, Prongs?"
James glanced at his watch and looked horrified. "Er, since it's 12: 07 P.M. right now, make that fifty-three minutes."
All four pairs of eyes bulged at this information. "FIFTY-THREE MINUTES?"
"Yeah," James said sheepishly.
Remus sighed. "Okay. Frank and Peter, you two will go and pick up the rings and tux for James. I will force Sirius into wearing the best man's suit of Lily's choice and help James with the spell. Meet back here in ah, thirty-five minutes?"
They nodded and Frank and Peter Apparated off.
It was now Sirius's turn to look abnormally pale. He managed to squeak out an, "Um, hi?" before Remus tackled him with a Body Binding spell and bound his mouth shut as well.
"Accio Sirius's Best Man Outfit," Remus commanded and waved his wand expertly.
A flamingo suit came zooming over. Remus scowled at this and threw it to the ground, ignoring Sirius's muffled protests.
"Accio real Sirius's Best Man Outfit," Remus specified and with a brandishing of his wand, a prim black suit with matching slacks came flying over. Remus caught them with ease.
Remus walked over to Sirius rather menacingly and tore off the tape from Sirius's mouth.
"Oww, Moony! That hurt," Sirius whined loudly. Then a frightened look took over his face. "No. Moony, you wouldn't do that to your best pal!"
"Or would I?"
Sirius gulped loudly and James watched on with great amusement.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Stupefy."
James grinned as Remus quickly changed Sirius into the best man suit, and thankfully used a spell so nothing mind-disturbing would be seen.
Two minutes later, they revived a scarred and whimpering Sirius.
"Sorry, mate," Remus apologized breezily, and the smirk on his face suggested otherwise.
"Nooo," Sirius moaned dramatically. "I get sexually assaulted on James's wedding day. This is scarring. Scarring, I say!"
Remus and James shared wide grins.
"Now, about that spell," Remus said loudly over Sirius's ongoing rant. "It's really easy. You just need to concentrate on the person you're doing it with. The spell is Amorelis."
"Amorelis," James quickly memorized. "I got it."
"Good. Now about flattening your hair…" Remus trailed off, a look of worry overcoming him.
James sighed audibly, and Sirius stopped in mid-sentence of "Out of all my friends, the sensible, quiet one takes my innocence awa—" to let out a loud, hearty guffaw. "BAHAH! JAMES'S HAIR FLAT! Oh dearie me, ahah!"
James glared at Sirius's maniacal laughter and turned his attention back to Remus. "I know. I've tried pretty much everything, but it's really too much."
Remus sighed. "We'll see."
Twenty-one minutes later, 12:33 P.M., they still could not attempt to flatten James's hair. Defeated, they sank into the armchairs in James's living room.
Sirius walked over and scrutinized James's hair. Poking it, he declared, "It looks curlier, I think."
"Sod off, Padfoot," James said in a tired voice.
Sirius opened his mouth to protest most admirably how 'sod' actually meant 'grass', so technically, one could not tell another person to 'grass off', but he was interrupted by two large 'pops'.
Frank and Peter had returned.
With a tux…and no rings?
James felt a feeling of dread coming over and knew that this was going to be bad.
Author's Note:
Yes, I missed this story too much to just leave it at the second part.
So, here I am!
Please tell me your input! Thanks..