The eighth part in a ten-part series of one-shots featuring everybody's favourite forbidden couple - Hermione and Draco. If you like it, please review or go check out the other seven Dramione themed shorts I have on my profile :) thanks for reading! The song is Anywhere But Here by Mayday Parade
Anywhere But Here
Draco/Hermione
Tonight is the one thing left
And I haven't said it yet, I'm falling
And the writing's on the wall
The grounds of Hogwarts weren't his home anymore. He wasn't the child he once was, ignorant and arrogant, willing to throw away things he thought were useless, things that his superiors told him he didn't need. They never told him he would need his friends, that he would need happiness, that he would need this stupid school. He hid behind a mask of lies and hate, and it protected him well. Nobody thought for a second that he might be unhappy, and he had no reason to escape from the darkness. He had nothing worth fighting for, so he let himself fight for nothing, he let them use him for their own ends. He let Voldemort play with him, use his weaknesses. The Dark Lord knew that he was weak, and he knew he was in pain, and too afraid to defy his father.
Draco breathed in shakily and fought back the tears, the hot painful stinging behind his eyes making it increasingly difficult. He tried to calmly brush his hand through his hair but found himself gripping on it instead, nearly tearing it out. He was fighting the urge to scream as he caught sight of the edge of the ghastly tattoo on his arm, the very bottom of the horrible scaled snake.
Today was misery
And I just can't believe this happened
And I finally broke down
Yes, Draco knew he was a wreck, and he knew that he'd grown up faster than any boy should have. But what did he have that was worth fighting for?
He remembered, then, a moment that felt like forever ago. The first time he had walked on the train, and he had passed her in the carriage. She smiled at him, teeth crooked and too big for her mouth. She was so strange to Draco. She had fuelled his curiosity. Every part of him ached to learn to know who she was, learn to love every part of her. In the beginning he had longed to love her mind, her words, her giggle, her hair, her silly bookish habits, the fingers with an almost-permanent ink stain. But now he longed to show how he loved her, show her just how much he wanted to be with her, kiss her soft lips and run his hands across her perfect skin, caress her perfect curves. He knew later on that he would regret it – every time they had a brief encounter, rare as they were, the longing only burned with a greater fire than it had before. He needed her to survive, and he was lost without her. He was weak without her.
But he had learned as he had grown older that if he chose Hermione, he wouldn't just be choosing dishonour. He'd be choosing death. It would be suicidal for him, and a death sentence for her, too. They would both be cursed by his wayward emotions. He would never sacrifice her for his own happiness.
She held onto my heart
But now my only star is falling
Its burning to the ground
But you can't just stop yourself falling in love. His cruelty towards her was his only excuse to get close to her during the day; his only opportunity to interact with her socially was through hate. And it killed him to do it but he craved to see her looking at him. He knew he couldn't get her to smile, so a glare would have to do – but there was no hopeful sparkle in her eyes these days, no playful tug of a smile on her lips anymore. She was sick of the childish way he treated her, she was tired of crying herself to sleep at night with anxiety because she was so afraid to love him, and because he wouldn't tell her the truth.
Secret love, my escape
Take me far, far away
Draco gripped the rail he was leaning against, clenching his teeth as his knuckles turned white. That was all about to change. He was going to tell her. He was going to explain what was happening, why he had behaved the way he did, why he had to do the things he was doing. She had to understand. If she loved him, she would understand.
Secret love, are you there,
Will you answer my prayer?
And if she loved him, she would let him grasp onto her mess of curls and press his lips against her hair, touch her skin as though it were the most precious thing, hold her close as though she were so delicate she would break at any moment. She would let him breathe her, touch her, whisper in her ear that he loved her and hear her whisper it back – because when Draco was with her, everything else went away, and nothing was wrong with the world. Even though the last time he had come close to touching her was in his dreams, and even then she escaped him, her eyes sad with worry.
Please take me anywhere but here
She was his escape, his safe place, the one thing he could cling to when everything else was lost… And she was late, again, she was always so late when he asked her to meet him. It infuriated him but he knew when she arrived he would be totally, completely, impossibly calm and happy again, and he knew that –
"Draco?"
Anywhere but here
He spun, never fast enough to catch just a glimpse of her in the corridors, but now she was here and she was his. For now, they were in love, and nobody could say otherwise - not even Hermione herself. Draco felt the lines in his face ease, his frown fade to be replaced with a breathless smile as he looked at her. Her hair was tied loosely back from her face, strands falling across her eyes which she brushed away with a gentle, pretty hand. She wore faded blue jeans and grey lace up sneakers, and she wore a plain shirt and his favourite coat of hers, a deep red sweater with large brown buttons on the front. The soft lines of her face picked up the moonlight and her warm, golden eyes shimmered beautifully. She was almost grown up. She was so beautiful, so perfect. So untouchable.
Which only made him want her more.
"Hermione," Draco said, her name on his lips a thrill. "I – I thought you weren't coming."
"I shouldn't have come," she replied quickly, sharply. "I told you we were through. Draco, I can't –"
Her words hung unfinished in the cold night air as Draco swiftly stepped towards her, wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned down to kiss her, unable to restrain himself any more. He felt how warm she was, how soft her skin was, felt her sigh as she gave in to his kiss.
It had been so long since he'd kissed her. The feeling was indescribable.
You're all I've got right now
No one else figures out this feeling
And how lonely it can get
He tangled his hands in her hair as he knew he would, the feeling of her so much more amazing than the way he imagined it was, and she grasped into the front of his jacket, clinging to him as he took her breath away, just as effectively as she had taken his simply by being there. Draco felt his body rush with warmth as he pulled her closer, unable to stop himself from wanting more…
Until Hermione placed both hands firmly on Draco's shoulders and pushed his lips away from hers, having to use all of her physical and emotional strength to do so. Draco knew she had planned on pretending she didn't like him, pretending she didn't want to be with him. But he knew well that she was as much of a liar as he was.
"Draco, I told you," she managed, her voice shakier than it had been before. "I'm not going to do this anymore, I can't. I promised Harry I'd be there for him. And you're still too afraid of what people think."
Draco felt his heart begin to drop as Hermione spoke, her words brutally honest. She was right, of course she was. Hermione didn't deserve to be with someone like him, a coward like him, who was too afraid of his own father to admit that he was in love with the girl he was supposed to hate.
These words can cut right through
Cause all along I've knew you're sorry
But you haven't said it yet
Before she could continue, Draco lifted his finger to press softly against her lips. "Shh," he said. "I know I shouldn't have kissed you, but I'm not sorry."
Hermione frowned, her perplexing expression still making her far too attractive for her own good. "Then, why did you –"
"I brought you here because – because I can't do this on my own," Draco managed to say, but only just. He rested his forehead against hers, and he lifted his hands to hold onto her hair, to touch the curve of her neck, to caress her face. He shook as he tried to stop himself.
Hermione's face had changed – she was still confused, but worry tainted her warm eyes. "Draco, what's wrong?"
Draco let his lips scrape across her temple, inhaling the scent of her hair, of her skin. He wanted this moment to last forever, he felt like he could forget anything was wrong.
But now I won't forget
"Draco, you're frightening me," Hermione said softly, voice audibly shaking now, and her small hands rested on his chest, clenching a little at the crisp material of his shirt. "Tell me you're okay."
Draco felt like a child as he shook his head, forcing back tears, wishing he could pretend it was all okay, that they would be okay, that they would run away together like he said they would, all those years ago. He wanted to promise her he would give her a perfect life, give her the love he knew she deserved.
"Draco."
His name whispered on Hermione's lips was a greater power than any spell she could ever have conjured.
Secret love, my escape
Take me far, far away
With unsteady breaths, he managed to compose himself enough to speak, and he worded his sentences carefully. "I'm a Death Eater."
It took a moment, but he felt Hermione's arms become stiff against him as she prepared to push herself away. Faster than she could ever hope to be, Draco swiftly wrapped both arms tightly around her.
"Don't – don't go. Please. I – I need you to be here for me," he said, stumbling over his words. "I need you now more than ever." He felt her shaking as his long fingers reached up to stroke her hair, trying his best to reassure her – or maybe he was just reassuring himself. "Okay, Hermione, please don't run. I know I don't deserve it, but give me a chance to explain."
Secret love, are you there,
Will you answer my prayer?
He waited for her to respond, and with a small nod he let her go, and held her far enough away so he could see her expression, but close enough to hold her again if she did run. Her eyes looked wide and scared, but she wasn't scared of him. She was only scared of losing him.
"Hermione, you need to understand – I'm not my own person anymore," Draco choked. "I have nothing to fight for anymore, except – except for you."
Please take me anywhere but here
He watched her lip trembling and he hurried to finish the speech he had so carefully practised. "But, Hermione, if I – I can't – I can't let them know about you. About us. I need to protect you."
She frowned, struggling to comprehend his stammered words. "You're saying you did this for me?"
Anywhere but here
"If I didn't, they'd kill us both," Draco whispered desperately. "I hate – I hate myself for it. I hate – this, this thing…"
He ripped the sleeve upwards, exposing the horrible tattoo on the inside of his wrist. Hermione gasped, as though she had been prepared to call his bluff the whole time. But no, the snake on his arm was real, and the skull it wrapped itself around stared out with dead eyes, twisting in a way that made him sick.
When we're together
Thoughts of her disappear
Draco was prepared, at that moment, for Hermione to run away, to scream, to tell him he was a coward or a bad man, to say she never wanted to see him again, that she didn't love him. But to his sweet relief her next words were nothing of the sort.
"What have they done to you?" she whispered.
If I fell to pieces
You'd heal this pain I feel
"What they do to every other person," Draco replied, staring at her carefully, watching her reaction.
Hermione looked up at him, her eyes swimming. "Did it hurt?" she asked, glancing back at the squirming mark on his arm.
Draco attempted to smile. "Not a bit," he said, but when Hermione looked back at him he grimaced and he admitted, "It burns. All the time."
He began to pull the sleeve down, then, but then he felt Hermione's gentle hand on his hand, and he glanced at her. What was she planning to do?
Secret love, my escape
Take me far, far away
She moved slowly, carefully, like she was worried he would run away. Her other hand crept forward, and slid along his skin to rest above the mark. Draco panicked, thinking for a split second that maybe Voldemort would be able to feel it. But he realised only he could contact the Dark Lord, as Hermione traced her fingertips along the edge of the mark, and she said, as though she were studying it, "It feels – cold."
Draco stared down at her, watching her trembling fingertips travel across his skin, and then he pulled the sleeve down, pushing her hand away, though the sensation was very soothing. She glanced at him with a confused frown. "Draco?"
Secret love, are you there,
Will you answer my prayer?
"Please," he said, sliding his hand behind her neck, murmuring into her ear so quietly he could hardly hear himself speak. "Hermione, I need you now more than ever. I know I have to let you go but – but just for now, help me get away from my pain. Hermione –"
Please take me anywhere but here
He pressed himself against her and for a moment he thought she would leave him there, as she stood very still, unmoving, unsure – but then she lifted her face, and murmured against his lips, "Draco, you can't do this to me. I - it hurts too much to pretend I don't love you."
He felt her tears burn down both their cheeks, and he sighed softly as he heard the word love and he replied, closing his eyes and saying, "I will be the one to end this, I promise. Just for now, though – I need you."
Hermione squeezed her eyes shut tight and kissed him, and Draco's arms snaked around her middle and pulled her closer, her delicate curves pressed against the chiselled lines of his torso. She was everything he wasn't, and she was everything he needed to keep him sane, to keep him alive.
And if they were caught, they would both die.
Anywhere but here