You Can Count on Me

The winding roads of his little town were still familiar to him. He could still speak aloud the route to his house with his eyes closed. He could still find his way without a roadmap. The only thing different was that the wind blew to the trees to sing a mournful song. The skies were gray and not a full blue like it was when he first drove off with Peyton and baby Sawyer in the Comet a year and a half ago.

Lucas had left not necessarily to start over. Rather, he left Tree Hill because the opportunity presented itself and he took it. If he was being honest, he felt maxed out. Why would he stay? The Ravens' season ended a few games after Quentin Field's died, and even then Lucas' suspension had yet to be lifted permanently. The Comet had been published and sales and revenue were steadily rising. His daughter Sawyer was beautiful and healthy and stole his heart the minute she looked up at him with those gorgeous green eyes.

Lucas decided on a sleepless night that after he nearly lost his whole world, impulse was needed. The rush, the want to fulfill his greatest wish had taken over his thoughts. Suddenly Tree Hill and his life in it seemed dull and repetitive. The days dragged on, and Lucas simply came to the realization that life was too short. He had always wanted to travel the world, so when Andy called up him up one day and invited him to a whole summer in New Zealand, Lucas looked at his wife with hopeful eyes and said, let's do it.

At first, the stay was only meant to last three months. But when Lucas spent time on Andy's yacht, he was overwhelmed with such rich possibility, and their stay extended. When Lucas got to know his little sister Lily again and she whispered I love you in his ear before she fell asleep, their stay extended again. When Peyton assured Lucas that Red Bedroom would always be there and it would always be one of her dreams come true, their stay extended once more, because Peyton had said, music was my first love, my first dream. Right now, I'm living my second dream and I wouldn't give it up for anything. So the three-month stay in New Zealand turned into a permanent move.

Of course Lucas missed everyone terribly. But if he could try and sum life up in three words, he would say this: It goes on.

Everything was blissful and for the first time in his life, Lucas felt truly fulfilled…

…And then he got a phone call.

He never thought a phone call would bring him halfway across the world to right where he started. But one simple fact was true: Lucas would do anything for his best friend.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When Lucas rapped on the doorway of his brother's house, his gold wedding band made a rapping sound against the wood of a door. There was a slight breeze, and all Lucas did to combat it was pull his gray jacket closer to his body, and his longer hair flew across his deep blue eyes.

The moments dragged on and there was no answer. Lucas pounded on the front door with his fists, yet nothing. He ran a hand through his hair and knew there was only one thing left to do. He bent down to flip over the doormat in the hopes of seeing a key, yet there was nothing there. He ran his fingers against the smooth frame of a doorway, yet he found nothing. At last his eyes fell upon the pot of a plant, and as a last effort he carefully moved the pot over an inch. A silver key lay resting, ready to be snatched up and put to use. Without hesitance, Lucas put the key in the lock and turned the handle.

"Hello?" Lucas called through the house, shutting the door behind him quietly. His voice echoed off the walls in the foyer. He moved slowly through the house as if fearing an invisible shadow would jump out and rip him to pieces. But there was no one. "Hello?"

Light filtered through the kitchen and didn't bother to hide the mess. Plates were scattered everywhere, the pots had to be soaked, the cabinets had to be wiped down. Breakfast plates had just been put in the dishwasher. Lucas circled the room like a hungry scavenger, looking for any kind of clue. But what the hell was he searching for, in reality? Greif was a wildcard.

Still, Lucas found a note on the refrigerator under a basketball magnet. He recognized Nathan's crisp handwriting in blue ink pen, which read:

Luke,

Figured you'd find your way in here. I took Jamie out for the day, so it's just you two.

She's upstairs.

-Nate

Lucas swallowed and his gut turned upside down at the un-revealing note. He heard not a stir from upstairs since he made his way in. He walked slowly through the hallway until he found the staircase, and a part of him dragged his feet on purpose. Not because he didn't want to see her, but because he was terrified of what he would find when he did.

x-x-x-x-x-

The light had left her eyes. When Lucas walked into the room, Haley barely even lifted her head or acknowledged his presence. She sat staring off into space, next to her Baldwin piano whose keys were charred and ruined.

"Hey Hales," Lucas tried softly, hoping his voice would cause Haley to turn and face him. He was suddenly afraid of what he would see, even though her face was always familiar and comforting to him.

She didn't turn around- not for a few minutes. When she did, her eyes were swollen. Tear marks covered her cheeks and her hair was a mess, disheveled, ruined. She looked heartbroken.

At first, Lucas didn't speak. He didn't know what to say. If only he had a pen and paper, he would write a letter to her. But then, he was afraid she would just burn it, just like she had burned her Baldwin piano. He almost didn't believe Nathan, until the proof stared him right in the face. The keys were black, charred, and forever destroyed. So he stood in the heartbreaking silence, his heartbeat rising and slowing to go with the soft sway of the tree leaves. The room was so quiet it was nearly empty even though two people occupied the room.

"It's just going to be the two of us, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Oh, so you're back now?"

Lucas swallowed hard. He knew this talk wasn't going to be easy but the iciness in Haley's stare was enough to make him shrink into his own shoes. "Haley…"

"No really; did you think you could just get up, decide to leave and waltz back in here?"

Lucas lowered his voice to be as gentle as possible. But he had a feeling, no matter how gentle he would be; it would all blow up in his face. And call him a masochist, but today he was all right with it. "No. It's not that."

Haley didn't move. Her eyes did not soften. Her stare did not break. "Yes it is. You're living your own isolated life and then you find it at your duty to haul your ass over here when you see that I'm in pain."

"Of course I did," Lucas tried, sitting across from Haley on the couch. "Haley. You're my best friend."

Haley laughed again and she grabbed at a pillow and threw it on her lap, just so the energy could release. "Right. You forget any of us ever existed, and then my mom drops dead, so you call yourself my best friend again. Isn't that how it goes?"

"Lucas. Promise me something. Promise me that we will always be best friend."

"Of course. I promise."

Lucas sighed. He was still in shock that Lydia James passed away. She was his second mother; someone to turn to when there was no one else. "I was always your best friend. No matter where I was, and I'm here now. I'm here now, and I want to help. I want to help, whatever I can do. I know how much this hurts, Hales, believe me."

Haley sighed and jumped up from the couch. Suddenly there was movement, suddenly there was an effort, and it scared Lucas just a little bit. "Will you just shut up? Just shut up with the bullshit that people think they're supposed to say. You have no idea what I'm feeling. I can't breathe. Do you understand that? I can't breathe." The tears began to slowly reveal themselves, soft trails of heartbreak began to form on Haley's angelic cheeks.

Lucas took slow steps towards Haley and sat across from her on the couch, on the other end. He reached out a tentative hand towards Haley's shoulder but she slapped his hand away harshly. "Don't. Don't touch me, you hypocrite!" She tried to fight back, and against Lucas' strong, masculine frame. He held her against him, hands open palm. He held her tightly as she began to scream but no tears released. She crumbled in pain right in front of him. "Let go!" Haley screamed, fighting and pinching, grabbing onto Lucas' jacket to shove him off: anything to keep herself from drowning on dry land. "Let go of me!" Haley pushed Lucas with all of her might and he stumbled off the couch. At the last second he caught himself and pushed to stand. He took a slow breath and walked a trail around the room, in search of answers that had long since disappeared. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Haley rake a frustrated hand through her messy hair. She reached for a pillow and threw it across the room. She missed. "Get out!" she screamed. "Get the fuck out!"

Lucas took in a breath, and he didn't even realize his voice was shaky until he heard it. "No." He leaned against the doorway of the room and his eyes softened to a pale shade. It seemed Haley had no energy anymore. Or so he thought. In that split second the couch pillows shifted under her weight as she sprang to her feet. Lucas could practically see the anger and the pain bursting under her skin. And he knew that she was charging toward him with the strength of a stampede, but he did not move.

"Get out!" Haley shouted, flinging her knuckles and arms towards Lucas blindly. She was so rough that she was actually hurting him. Every once in a while he'd feel the blunt pain of her fist, the sharp scratch of her fingernails. But he bit his tongue and kept quiet. When she flung her fist towards his face, he moved out of reflex but wrapped his arms around her shaking body. She protested in curses but he held tight. When Haley's knees gave up and she crumbled to the floor, Lucas fell by her side, holding her close to his black leather jacket. She punched him with her hand hard until she eventually tired out. Her arm became limp and fell to Lucas' jeans, and now she was holding him for dear life. "Just leave," she told him through her tears. "Stop trying to save me!" she shouted, the last string of strength in her voice now broken into pieces, her resilience gone into thin air, evaporated like fog in a rainy forest. Her sobs took over completely and Haley had no more fight. All she had was tears. Ever so often, there would be a whisper.

Where's my Mom?

"Where is she?" Haley cried, burying her face in Lucas' chest. "Momma!"

"Haley," Lucas whispered, his voice breaking. His eyes flooded with his own tears as he rocked his best friend back and forth in his embrace, trying to keep her warm on the cold wood floor. "It's going to be okay."

Haley's body shook with cries and soon she began gasping for breath, as though air was running out. She pushed against Lucas to get past him, get past those four walls, and get across all heavenly barriers keeping her from her mother- the only one she would ever get. She tried to break the cosmic universes separating them, just to see her again, just to see her voice. "Just leave!"

"Haley," Lucas said, moving the hair from Haley's face and kissing her forehead. He felt the sadness in his voice intensify, and he couldn't swallow the lump in his throat. "I'm never going to leave you." Haley's cries got so loud Lucas had to raise his voice, as if to convince her of a simple fact she knew all along. "Remember what we used to say when we were kids? Remember what we used to say to each other?"

The memories flooded his mind. Lucas easily remembered sitting on a wooden bench and watching the Burning Boat and the cracking fireworks in the nighttime above their heads. The world was full of promise and seemingly, right at their fingertips. It was theirs to grasp and mold into something beautiful. Lucas remembered facing the high school firestorm, pretending to be Haley's boyfriend just so the boys would stop teasing her. He remembered holding Haley as she cried in that hotel room in New York during her tour with Chris Keller. He remembered staying up hours of the night after Nathan's accident just so Haley felt safe again. He remembered it all, and through it all he always told her the very same thing. "Always," Lucas insisted, his voice breaking. He felt a tear or two dampen his jacket collar as he kissed Haley's forehead. "Always." And then Lucas felt Haley nod against him.

I remember

"I don't want go anywhere," Haley sobbed, grasping onto Lucas' shirt. "I can't go anywhere, I can't feel anything."

Lucas brushed the damp hair away from Haley's face to see her eyes- just to see her. "We don't have to go anywhere. I'm going to sit here with you."

They sat on Haley's living room floor, trying to fight trough the endless sea of grief together, fighting to survive on the other's shoulder just like from day one. Through the wild noise they always shouted out one simple thing-ever since they were two kids against the world.

You can count on me.

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You Can Count On Me is one of my favorite movies. Watch it!