Break Fast

It was Benny's turn to get food and Dean's turn to sleep. The Angel didn't eat or sleep, so he stayed behind to watch the cave entrance. There wasn't a lot of food in Purgatory, or at least not a lot of things that were recognizable as food, but Benny and Dean had identified a few things that were edible and wouldn't kill either humans or vampires from the inside out. (Pretty much everything in Purgatory would kill you from the outside in.)

Today's haul was a brace of small mammals that looked something like rabbits, if you ignored the razor-sharp talons and the double row of pointed teeth. Benny pulled them from the snares he'd laid under several trees, careful not to brush up against the talons. They could flay skin down to the bone. He trudged back to the cave, expecting to find Dean awake and waiting for him. The human was too wary to sleep deeply and too skilled to allow himself to be left vulnerable. Frankly Benny had been surprised that Dean had given in so easily to The Angel's offer to keep watch.

Benny snorted to himself. A fuckin' Angel. Why the hell had he agreed to let that tag along? But he knew the answer to that. He'd seen it written clear as day on Dean's face. Where he went, The Angel went - no questions and no arguments. And wasn't that a curious thing? Benny didn't know everything about the human he'd latched onto, but they'd done a little talking, the kind of bullshit story-swapping that soldiers do in-between bouts of trying not to get killed. Dean had told Benny enough for him to know that, other than a bizarre hard-on for pie, the hunter didn't have any odd kinks. Dean liked strong liquor, loud music, and easy women. Benny had no idea where a fallen Star of Heaven fit in there.

He came around the side of the cave, whistling softly to announce his presence. Getting beheaded wouldn't get him out of Purgatory and Dean had fast reflexes. To Benny's surprise, The Angel was the only one awake. He looked up at Benny, blue eyes gleaming out of his dirty face, before glancing down to where Dean lay, like a dog looking to its master for guidance. Dean was still asleep, seemingly unaware of Benny's return. Benny frowned at the uncharacteristic carelessness. He thought himself a good judge of people. After all, if you're going to hunt, you really should know your prey and if you're going to blend with the herd, then you needed to know the sheep. Benny knew that ever since The Angel joined them, Dean had been different. He was happier, almost. It was subtle, but it was there. Happy and trusting. It had been a long time since Benny had trusted anyone that much and look where that had gotten him.

Benny leaned back against the far wall and picked up one of the not-rabbits. It was still warm, barely even dead an hour. His mouth watered, his fangs descended, and he bit greedily into the beast's throat. Blood poured into his mouth, warm and sweet and wholly unsatisfying. There really wasn't anything that tasted like human blood and even if Benny was on the wagon, that didn't mean he didn't miss the feast. He felt The Angel's gaze return to him with the first crunch of bone and sinew, but he ignored it while he savored his meal. Once he'd drained the carcass and picked out the meat and organs, he placed the bones and skin in a bag they kept trash in. They'd be used later to bait more traps. The not-rabbits were cannibalistic bastards, which Benny chalked up to Purgatory's sick version of a recycling program.

Wiping his mouth on his sleeve, he finally looked up and met The Angel's unblinking gaze, expecting to see reproach for his gluttony. The only things there were faint curiosity and a constant, weary sadness that rolled off The Angel like a waterfall. Benny shook his head and broke the silence, asking what he'd wanted to know from the moment they stumbled over The Angel, "Buddy, what the hell'd you do to wind up in here?" He spoke softly, trying not to wake Dean.

The Angel tilted his head to one side, as if confused. "We told you before. Dean and I were caught in the blast from a spell to send Dick Roman back to Purgatory. We were sent with him, though we got separated in the journey."

Benny shook his head. "No, I mean, who the hell'd you piss off so bad that they won't even try to get you out of Purgatory? You're a fuckin' angel! You should be able to get out of here any time you want. What happened to all your mojo? Where's your army of loyal soldiers? Don't you lot all fall in line to stand by each other?"

The Angel flushed and dropped his gaze to the cave floor. "I am not…welcome in Heaven any longer…" His voice trailed off. He sat for a long time, staring at the floor. Benny began to think that The Angel wasn't going to finish that thought. He opened his mouth to prod some more, but a soft moan interrupted him. Beside The Angel, Dean's face was tightening in distress, his body tensing with what was obviously a nightmare. No surprise there, considering where they were. Benny reached out to grab Dean's foot, planning to shake the human awake so he wouldn't embarrass himself, but before he could, The Angel laid one hand gently on Dean's forehead. His fingers brushed through Dean's sandy hair. He soothed away the tension lines in Dean's forehead with his thumb. At the soft touch Dean quieted, slipping back into deep, dreamless sleep. Benny watched, puzzle pieces clicking together in his mind to form an image of who The Angel was and why he was here with Dean.

"You've done that before," he said quietly.

The Angel – Castiel – nodded. "Once upon a time I walked in his dreams. I lifted him out of Hell and we fought together against Lucifer. But," he closed his eyes in pain, "the human world is a very confusing place. I messed up. There was a war and angels died. People died. It was my fault. And now Dean is here. He wasn't supposed to be here. It was just supposed to be me."

The final puzzle piece fell into place. "You don't plan on comin' back with us, do you?" Benny asked, his voice just barely a whisper. "You're going to stay here as penance for whatever you did."

Castiel's blue eyes locked onto his once more. "You will not tell Dean." The words were a command.

This time Benny was the first to look away. He could feel the echo of the power that Castiel had once wielded. "No, I won't," he promised. "I understand needin' to make things right for those you love."

Castiel did not argue with Benny's choice of words. His gaze drifted down to the still sleeping hunter, unable to stay away for long. As if sensing him, Dean reached out a hand to clutch the edge of Castiel's frayed, faded trench coat. It was too much. Benny looked away from them, out of the cave into the gray murk of Purgatory and all that stood between them and home.