Disclaimer: I don't own it! I swear! ...::grumbles:: Evilness...
Chapter 1
Three years... It had already been three years since he had lost her, but even now it had yet to register in his mind. These days he was more like a programmed robot than ever before- going to work, doing paperwork, cleaning up the mess that was the world, then coming home, having a makeshift dinner (if any at all), finishing any necessary duties, and sitting down on the spotless leather couch to stare at a dark room. He rarely slept. On good nights his mind would go blank and he would almost completely shut down, but on bad nights...
Well, it was sufficient to say that he had managed to scare the wits out of his companions both with his infinite alcohol tolerance and unnerving glares. By now, he had been dubbed by Duo to be "immune to anything with a buzz". Nights when he was alive enough to respond – which were just as rare as his sleeping habits – he simply credited the condition to his rapid metabolism. Of course, this did not stop the alcohol from affecting him in at least a small manner, once he had consumed enough. These were usually the times when his body simply fell asleep without much warning, allowing him only a light slumber until some insignificant sound woke him with a start. Of course that led him to reach for the gun he still kept dormant on the bedside table, which only made matters worse.
He had promised her, right before...
With an angry shake of his head, he stood from his office chair where he had been lost in his thoughts, the careful, stony mask already placed carefully over any and all expressions he might exhibit. He left the room wearing that impassable expression and started off down the hallway, receiving stares from every which way, and the occasion greeting.
Since the time she had slipped through his fingers, he had been more closed off than ever, speaking less than Trowa and bearing a lower tolerance level than Wufei. He had even somehow managed to get angry at Quatre at one point when the chipper blond had mentioned her name in simply the wrong context. Of course, all of these things occurred within him, so his reactions were not the same as that of a normal human. Instead, his gaze would turn so cold it could freeze mercury and he would leave the room in an all-too-calm manner. He was well aware that any and all persons within his general vicinity had long ago learned to stay out of his way, and those who were new found out quickly enough.
An eyebrow twitched ever so slightly as he once again realized he was thinking over the situation again: his life without her. Why did it always come back to her and that day?
"Hey, Buddy!" Duo. Always Duo.
"Hn."
"Nice to see you too! So, has Une told you about the new mission yet?" The braided boy was about ready to bounce off the walls, grinning from ear to ear like a child about to tell what he thought was a hysterical joke. When he did not respond, Duo took the liberty to continue, keeping an easy pace with the stoic man. "Infiltration and containment this time. Take 'em apart piece by piece and capture anyone that we can. Sounds like our kind of job, eh, Heero?" The former Deathscythe pilot was still grinning, blue eyes glittering with something more than excitement.
"Hn."
"I think so too!" There was a laugh and he found himself distinctly aware of the careless arm that was suddenly being tossed across his shoulders. Glancing over, he glared daggers at his chipper comrade, only to be blatantly ignored. Duo was perhaps the only one who could do either and get away with it.
They walked that way for a time before coming to a halt outside of Middie Une's office, where the arm dropped away like a lead weight. There, in the quiet of the hall, Duo had turned deathly serious, even those eyes losing their shine.
"You know if you're not up to it, you can leave it to the rest of us. I mean, today and all...-"
"It's fine." His voice was sharp when he finally spoke, but still decidedly monotonous, and with that he knocked on the office door and entered without permission, closing it behind him before the concerned pilot could follow him in to voice his complaints to their boss. That would not do. Not today.
"Ah, Heero, I see you're here. I'm sure Duo's already informed you about the job for today. You'll be leaving in an hour. The schematics and information should be on your desk by now, so review those before you go." Une started speaking even before she looked up at the silent boy, sitting at her desk while mulling over papers. Middie Une had never been one to beat around the bush, and he found that he had gained a silent respect for the former Oz soldier through her no-nonsense way of handling the Preventers. She was one of the few people who had never treated him as anything less than what he was- a soldier.
"Understood."
He turned to go then, reaching for the door handle. "Oh, and Heero," he glanced up, turning just enough to see her out of the corner of his eye, "it is okay to take a vacation once in awhile. We all grieve in our own ways." And then she was once again lost in paperwork, eyes glued to the table in concentration. He did not respond, but instead opened the door and slipped out once again, heading back down the hallway with an eager Duo at his heels.
They left before sunset, armed with guns and smoke bombs; Heero curled in the back of the large military van with the semi-automatic gun resting against his shoulder, eyes closed. The other pilots were close by: Wufei dutifully driving the van while Duo chatted up a storm with some of the younger, inexperienced soldiers. It had been some time since they had last seen Trowa, but the Heavyarms pilot was never far when they asked for his help. Quatre, on the other hand, made it more than habit to visit the Preventor Headquarters at least once a week for a "meeting" with Lady Une and the other former pilots.
She laughed and glanced over her shoulder at him, waving sweetly before boarding the private jet, leaving behind the faintest smell of lilacs as she went. He wanted to go with her, but was held back by pressing work that had just come to the attention of the Preventers. And so he watched her take off passively, face stoic but eyes gentle as his Prussian orbs met her sky-blues through the window. In the farthest reaches of his mind, he realized he returned the wave for just a moment by raising his own hand in farewell. She would be back beside him in a few hours...
It surprised Heero to think that they were already twenty-one. It had been almost four years since the Mariemeia incident, and the little girl was growing fast under the care of the stern Une. He was almost forced to smirk at the thought of the pair together under one roof, both consumed by the duty of honoring the memory of the late Treize Khushrenada.
Almost.
"...was shot down the afternoon while passing over Russian airspace..."
He felt numb, staring into the void of the television without really seeing it. It wasn't true...
"...unconfirmed whether the Vice Foreign Minister was a passenger..."
He had seen her off. She had been safe, happy, smiling. She was fine, she was okay. It was simply a drastic mistake.
Duo often returned to the L2 colony to visit the junkyard and, of course, Hilde. The two had grown closer still since the war had ended, and Duo (much to everyone's surprise) was constantly teased by Quatre about when he would propose to the dark-haired girl. It was inevitable, according the kind-hearted Sandrock pilot, and everyone within their group of comrades silently agreed with the boy. It would happen eventually.
Wufei was not much different from Heero, burying himself in his work and then relaxing to an almost disturbing degree once the day was over. Then again, his nights were often spent with Sally Po (though what actually occurred between the two was still a mystery, causing the older woman to laugh every time someone would try to pry). Wufei had never been so content as he was then, at least not in Heero's experience with his Chinese comrade, and this proved to be a relief to many members of the Preventer organization, including Duo- who more often than not received most of the frustration Wufei built up.
How ironic, that they were all so content now. That is, everyone buy himself and...
"...How did this happen? It's not possible! We had radar and soldiers covering the entire area!" Quatre was in hysterics, tears running down his face as he unleashed his grief onto the unsuspecting soldiers before him. The youngest Winner rarely yelled, only adding to the guilt the surveillance crew felt for their failure.
"Quatre..." Trowa was standing within a close proximity of the platinum-haired boy, features abnormally twisted ever so slightly with his own form of mourning. He placed a gentle hand on the shoulder of the shorter boy and shook his head, only causing the emotional pilot to break down further.
"This can't be real... Trowa..." And then his gaze shifted across the room, his expression that of shattered nerves, letting his eyes rest on the silent one that leaned against the wall almost passively. "Heero..." And then he was no longer against the wall or in the room. "Heero! Where are you going?"
"To find her."
The truck lurched to a stop, interrupting him from his memories and thoughts as instinct overrode humanity. His mind was now solely focused on the mission, already reviewing the layout of the building in his head.
In truth, their job was simply to subdue the growing rebel organization that resided in the run-down building. Some years ago they had been a serious threat to the aspect of peace, but now they were simply a nameless group that was once again rising in power after a devastating wipeout during the war. It had been decided that they were too dangerous to allow them to regain their former power.
"Get ready." Heero stood as he spoke, checking his gun and other gear before hopping down from the truck and glancing out at the street- the tall, crumbling building stretching up before him. Unbeknownst to most people it had once been a shelter, its rundown walls acting only as a guise to what had actually once been a sophisticated facility. This facility was their objective- that and anyone in it. Capture and subdue.
They moved in silence and entered the building with little trouble, Duo following close by as they both led individual teams of soldiers into the hideout. Wufei was assigned to watch the perimeter, perched almost humorously on the top of the van they had arrived in, partially hidden from sight while his own men surrounded the building and searched out any unknown exits. This would be what was considered "routine" to the band of Preventers. At least, that was how it was planned out.
It wasn't until they reached the lower levels of the building that the enemy became aware of their infiltration, or at least it wasn't until that time that they chose to acknowledge it. The bullets started flying without warning, and they returned the fire with their own guns, ducking and dodging through the hallways as they attempted to disarm their opponents.
"Heero, man, it's been a year now... She's gone..." Duo stepped towards him with a hand outstretched, only to watch the arm shift carelessly away from his grip."That was never confirmed."
"You saw her body!" The Deathscythe pilot was clearly distraught by the situation, particularly by his emotionless behavior.
"I saw a body."
"Heero..."
Heero became a ghost-like blur of speed through the halls, taking out the rebel forces with frightening ease, his face stoic through it all, his body and appendages seeming to move without thought. He was simply a programmed soldier in those moments, doing what had been uploaded into his brain through intense, cruel training at a young age. But he didn't kill. No, never again...
"How's he doing?""Won't eat anything. Barely drinks. He's just... there..." He could hear the pity in the voice. God, he hated pity. Why couldn't they just leave him alone for once?
"I suppose this was bound to happen... Just stay with him, okay? I worry what he might do- or not do- if he's alone."
"Yeah, gotcha..."
The thought hit him awkwardly and he involuntarily slowed down, just barely missing a bullet as its heat burned past his arm, leaving a rope-like welt. The shooter was downed in a heartbeat, rolling on the floor with a leg full of holes. Unfortunately, the rebel was not alone and Heero soon found himself on the run, followed by a horde of angry men with machine guns. He could hear other shots ringing through adjacent hallways and knew the other soldiers would be in the same situation. There was no help for the time being. He would be forced to deal with the soldiers through his own methods.
"A job?" An eyebrow quirked up at the pair of boys standing before Commander Une. He had his eyes locked on her own, but it was Duo who was proposing the deal. "A job... Very well, I think we can manage that. Heero, you'll start promptly tomorrow morning." She eyed him with a slightly sad look. They all knew why he was there. But, even so, he noticed the look held no pity. If anything, it was simple understanding that was mirrored in those chestnut eyes. She was giving him a new start for her own reasons, not out of pity.
No pity.
With that silent acknowledgement, the Perfect Soldier threw himself into the nearest crevasse he could find before wrenching open the door occupying the space and throwing himself inside, bullets following even as the heavy metal slammed shut and locked behind him.
Relaxing by just the slightest fraction, Heero noticed the distinct lack of sound echoing from the outer walls. Soundproof room. And then he heard the breathing, slow at first then rapid with fear.
"Please, not again..." The voice was a whisper- no, a whimper, but it was clear enough and the former Gundam pilot felt himself freeze, eyes going wide momentarily as he stared at the floor. The faint smell of lilacs reached his nose, and in that moment the spell was broken and he looked up almost frantically to see the other figure in the room, laying curled in the fetal position against the far wall, tangled golden locks of hair half-covering a face.
He took an unsteady step forward, his breath catching in his throat. His body was suddenly tense; every movement taking more effort than should have been necessary.
"Go AWAY!" If the commanding shout was not enough to convince him, the face was as the head lifted ever so slightly from beneath its shield of hair, and there he saw sky-blue eyes widen just as his had a moment ago. "...H..Hee... No, you're a dream. I'm hallucinating. You're not real!"
And suddenly he found his breath and his feet.
Three years to the day...
"Relena..." "Relena."