Tada vi ma! (I love mormeis!)

Interviewers: Demon and Linkin

Interviewee(s): Grell and Undertaker (slight Sebastian)

My boss: Mrs. Oswaldes

Thanks to: xDemonChickx and my writer's block for GET OUT ALIVE

"Yay~" Demon dances like the lunny she is. "Sebastian~"

"We're not interviewing Sebastian!" I hiss. "Only if he comes...BUT WHY AM I STUCK IN A PROSTITUTE'S DRESS?"

Yes, back in 1894. Mrs. Oswaldes didn't have to tell me to get my ass back here and finish asking around. Therefore, we're back. I also have quite the schedule, but I just...I just love these since it's a good brain reliever. Better than lessons of math and history (oh what a bore!). A buzzing of a wasp is heard as it lands on my arm, so I smack it too late to leave a huge bump. "Oh bother," Demon huffs. "Well, the Undertakers cute~"

"Oh GOD!" I smack my clipboard on my forehead. "GRELL SUDCLIFF! GET YOUR A-"

"You called~?"

"ACK!" I jump behind Demon.

There in the path we were venturing on is Grell Sudcliff in his/her girlish demenior, long red hair and long eyelashes. Thin-rimmed glasses and small red scissors. "Ooh~" he/she wriggles. "You must be Linkin and..." He glares at Demon. "...You..."

"EEP!" she goes behind me.

"This is what you get for Frenching Sebastian when you're alone..." I sigh, a sweat-drop appearing.

"Thou art not to hurt thy!" Demon waves her hands as she recites her odd chant.

Someone laughs at her demise. "My, so you're the two girls who asked to interview moi?" the Undertaker in all his gray glory walks up.

I huff and glare at the sky. "Anyone else?"

"Oh, hello you two."

I smash my head through the board at the sound of Sebastian's voice. "Sebastian," Ciel huffs, "Keep. Moving."

"Sebby~" Demon flies for him, I grab her ankle though.

"NO!" I drag her away, along with Undertaker and Grell. "YOU ARE NOT HUMPING HIM!"

"Who said-"

"NADA!"

So, after I manage to escape to the Undertaker's shop, I drop her to the ground, back against the door. "Well, you're desperate," Undertaker chuckles.

"Indeed I am!" I huff. "Now...Demon, you interview Undertaker. I'll handle Grell."

She nods and we walk to two seperate coffins. I check my notes. "Now, what is it you want to ask me?" Grell bashes his lashes.

"One-are you feminine or masculine?"

"Feminine of course!" 'she' glares. "What do you take me for? A transvestite?"

I keep my mouth firmly shut as I cross off the question's box. "Two-...why is their five...okay, w-"

"ONE!" Demon enthustiastically starts, "what's your favorite color~"

"Gray."

"Two-what's your favorite body part~"

"Hard to choose...all of them."

Scratch. Scratch. Scratch. "Three- wh-"

"These are the questions you chose?" I blink.

"Oh," she turns, "you have better?"

"Not really," Grell mutters.

"TWO!" I snap. "Why the-"-a shelf crashes-"-is a reaper attracted to a demon?"

Demon and Grell tower over me with white glares. I gulp at the thick aura protruding the area. "GET THIS STRAIGHT!" they both snap. "HE'S SEXY! END OF STORY!"

I nod slowly and cross that off, laughing nervously. "T-t-t-three!" I swallow. "Are all reapers so..." I huff. "Attractive?"

Grell beams. "Well, it's about time someone acknowledged my beauty!" she crosses her arms with triumph. "And typically, since we're not human~"

I cross that off, blacking out the word I replaced with 'attractive': gay. "Three~" Demon skips over to Undertaker. "Who is your most valuable customer~"

"The dead of course."

OBVIOUS-Calm down, Linkin. *Deep breath*. There we goes it! I look down at the sheet. "Do you appreciate being a Reaper?"

"Oh yes!" Grell nods. "It's just that meanie Will that ruins my fun! Also, it'd be SO much better if Bassy was a Reaper!"

"Four~Are you glad you stopped reaping souls?" Demon clutches her paper of questions.

"Eh, things are much slower than they used to be," Undertaker shrugs. "But still, I get to work with the dead either way."

"Five," I sigh with relief.

"Hold on!" Grell covers my mouth. "Why are you so relived we're almost done?"

"Because frankly, I have a customer named Maki and she and her twin don't appreciate being held off for long. Especially with the position they're in now!"

"BITCH!"

I yelp and turn to Kaki, face red and her clothes...also of a Prostitute's. "W-w-WHAT?"

She stomps over, hands on hips. Hidu and Cassie come up. "Hey, you're SUPPOSED to help us!"

"I got stuck!"

"TOO BAD!" Kaki drags me for the door.

"Hey!" Grell seizes my other arm. "Not until she's done with my interview!"

"...Grell Sudcliffe? Boy am I glad we didn't land here..."

"How do you know that's not the next world?"

"Dude, you already told me."

"Right, crap," I mutter.

"Come on..." Demon pouts. "Pwetty Pwease?"

She thinks. "oh fine, but as long as you hurry the crap up."

I take my clipboard, not bothering to stand. "Okay, five, if you were to have anything, would it be Sebastian?"

"Of course!" Grell blushes. "I'd want to hug him and kiss him and-"

"Dude, this is for sick teens, not rapists," Demon huffs. "And I already kissed him, so HA!"

"Five Undertaker," I huff, using my own. "What's the funniest joke you ever heard?"

"Oh, from Sebastian, but we's can't tell's that, now can we?" he chuckles.

Demon pouts. "You stole my question!"

"Too-"

"Hello ladies."

Kaki turns to Sebastian as I cling to her back, holding Demon back as her eyes turn into beating 'lovey hearts'. "Who are you?"

HA! A question~ He bows. "Sebastian. Greetings Demon."

"SEBBY!" she tackles him.

"DEMON!" I shriek. "Kaki, get her-STOP DECLOTHING HIM!"

"Sebastian! Where are-WHAT THE CRAP?" Ciel walks in. "NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN!"

Kaki, Ciel, Grell and I do our best to pry them off (now who do you think had who?). Sadly, it's like they locked teeth or something, because now Sebastian is taking off her clothes. Hidu huffs. "KAKI'S HEART UNLOCK! CHARACTER TRANSFORMATION: BRASS NEGATIVE (I think...)!"

They turn and next thing you know, the two love birds are covered in ice packs, both smiling without regret. "Jeez..." Ciel and I huff. "What is with you two?"

"Two," Kaki picks up my list, "does Ciel have a big..."

"DON'T READ THAT!" I snap.

"What?" Ciel snatches the list. "ARE YOU TWO MAJOR RAPISTS OR WHAT?"

"No!" I huff. "That was a joke! HONEST!" He walks out horrified. "Ciel! WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!"

I evaporate along with Kaki and Yuki to find myself back in the machine, my next customers smirking. "How do you do?" the carrot-haired twins smirk.

"...Ouran Highschool Host Club?" Kaki raises a brow.

"Linkin~"

Kaki beams. "ELIZABETH! EMMA!"

Oh fcking crap.

Review

Tell me who you want me to interview next~ Has to be something I know.

One-Elfen Lied

Two-Ouran Highschool Host Club

Three-Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler)

Four-Inuyasha

Five-Hetalia

Six-Shugo Chara

Seven-Death Note

Eight-Vampire Knight

Nine-Rosario+Vampire

Ten-Code Geass