Author's Note: I'm currently addicted to 30 Seconds to Mars and while I was listening to this song, I had a lightbulb XD Also, thanks to Allie, I think, for reading the very first half of this. This is to all of those who have read and reviewed my fics. Thanks for all of your support. I've been working on this for over a month, and I hope that you like it.
Disclaimer: Lisi Harrison owns the charries but the personalities are mine as well as the plot. This song and the lyrics aren't mine either. They belong to 30 Seconds to Mars.
No matter how many times that you told me you wanted to leave
No matter how many breaths that you took you still couldn't breathe
No matter how many nights did you lie
Wide awake to the sounds of the pausing rain
Where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you go?
As days go by the nights are on fire
;-;
Derrick Harrington hid behind a tall oak tree in White Plains Memorial Cemetery in the pouring rain as the funeral-goers watched the white coffin was lowered into the cold ground. Tears fell down his cheeks, mixing with the droplets of rain that hammered against his tender skin.
"Massie," he whispered into the afternoon rainfall, "I'm sorry."
Her friends were crowded around her newly dug grave: Alicia, Claire, Dylan, Kristen-they were all there. His friends were all there too: Cam, Josh, Kemp, Chris. Her parents were there. His parents were there. He took her life away from her without a second thought.
Now she was taking his.
Derrick was stuck with nowhere to go and only having the small amount of cash that he usually carried in his wallet and the clothes on his back. Everyone knew he did it. Who else would have? Derrick had made it evident that he killed her, leaving his face all over the security tapes, his fingerprints on the bloodied picture he used to kill her. He needed to get away from this town, filled with heartache and sadness, but most of all, guilt. He couldn't stand it here for another second. He couldn't face everyone. Not after what he had done.
"I'll always love you and I will never forget you."
Derrick turned his back on the ceremony and, with those last few words, he stepped out from under the oak and into a new life.
;-;
Tell me would you kill to save for a life?
Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?
Crash, crash, burn, let it all burn
This hurricane's chasing us all underground
;-;
With nowhere to go, Derrick had chosen to live his life as a fugitive. As guilty as he felt, he didn't want to go to jail.
He would lie awake at night in his motel room going over the reasons why he killed her, the reason why he took away all of the love, happiness and everything he ever had in his seemingly perfect life.
But tonight he fell asleep and he started to dream.
Only it wasn't a dream.
It was a collection of memories merging into different scenes.
xx
Massie stood alone on Derricks' front porch staring up into the sky, not trusting herself to face him.
"Massie?" Derrick asked, a trace of fear in his voice. She didn't turn to look at him. She just couldn't.
"Hey, Derrick," she said.
"What's going on? Why are you here so early?" Derrick asked.
She sighed deeply.
"I came here to break up with you," she replied quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.
Derrick blinked, not believing her.
"If this is a joke, it's not funny, Mass," Derrick told her.
"I'm not joking, Derrick," she said.
Derrick brought his hand behind his neck and ran it through his shaggy blond hair.
"Why?" he asked.
"I'm going abroad to Spain for a few years and I just don't think that w can handle a long-distance relationship like that. I'm sorry." She said, still not looking at him. She knew that she wouldn't be able to go through with it if she looked at him.
Derrick chuckled, clearly hurt at having the love of his life doubt him.
"We could totally last, baby! Just give it a chance! We were meant to be," he said to her, attempting to wrap his toned arms around her lean waist, but she pushed him away.
"No, Derrick, we can't," she told him.
"What?" He asked, starting to get annoyed. "Why not? You know we're meant to be!"
Derrick was referring to the fact that their parents had practically already planned their wedding and had their lives basically planned out for them.
But Massie just shook her head.
"Derrick," she whispered, her voice full of sadness. Derrick saw a tear slide down her rosy cheeks. "I met someone else."
Derrick stood there wishing he had heard her wrong, that this was a dream and that it wasn't happening. It wasn't possible. This shouldn't have been happening. It couldn't happen. They were in love. They were meant to be.
After a minute of silence, Derrick hardly noticed Massie's slim figure walk into the sunset.
xx
Derrick Harrington was full of rage. He takes his red '69 Camero and speeds his way to The Block Estate at 5 in the morning. Derrick knew that William and Kendra were in Paris for their anniversary and that no one else would be at the house right now other than Bean. Claire and her family were in Miami. It was the perfect time to have a private discussion with Massie.
He crept onto her balcony with such silence that you could hear the faintest rustle of the wind on the leaves 10 feet below. He slipped into her bedroom, she never locked the door to her balcony. He could make out the faint outline of Massie's body in the moonlit darkness. She was his.
Now and forever.
Derrick waltzed between her clothes and other discarded items that lay upon her carpet until he reached her bedside. He saw the picture of the two of them hugging on her nightstand next to her bed and smiled a little before turning back to Massie. How beautiful, he thought as he watched her sleep. He brushed his cold fingertips against her soft cheek ad she shivered under his touch. Her eyes slowly opened and she saw him.
Her mind was muddled with confusion and drowsiness. Then she felt the fear. She shoved herself away from him.
"What are you doing here?" she shouted at him.
"I wanted to see you. I wanted to convince you that we need to be together," he informed her.
Massie shook her head.
"Derrick, I told you already. I'm not having my life planned out for me," she told him. "We," she pointed between her and Derrick, "are not together. We won't be again. I have someone else!"
Sadness filled his head. Jealousy ran through his veins. Anger fueled his heart.
"He's not good enough for you!" He shouted.
"And you are?" she shouted back.
"I fucking love you! Are you going to just throw my heart away?" he asked.
"Derrick, I do not love you!" Massie cried.
Pain.
Jealousy.
Anger.
Derrick's world shifted, shook and destroyed itself as she spoke those dreaded words.
Suddenly, he wasn't Derrick anymore.
He was a monster.
He grabbed the picture of them beside her bed and raised it above him.
"Derrick, don't!" she cried, backing farther away from him, fear clear in her eyes.
"I just wanted to love you. I gave you everything. And now...now you're pushing me away." he smirked.
Only Derrick saw heard her scream, saw her tears, heard her pleas.
No one would ever see their beloved Massie Block again after Derrick smashed her in the head with the edge of the picture, shattering the glass, his heart, what remained of his world.
He didn't know how he did it. He just knew why.
He turned his back on the gruesome scene of her mangled body, her blood seeping into her white sheets, forever staining them.
Derrick took a match out of his pocket.
"No one should see you like this," he said before throwing it onto the ground. He slowly made his way out of the house, standing to face the burning room on the Block Estate.
"I just wanted you to love me," he whispered to her. "Was that too much to ask?"
;-;
No matter how many deaths that I die, I will never forget
No matter how many lives that I live, I will never regret
There's a fire inside of this heart in a riot about to explode into flames
Where is your God? where is your God? where is your God?
;-;
Derrick Harrington had been on the run for well over a year now, but he would never forget how he smashed open her head, the way she lay in a pool of her own blood.
He'd never forget the look of fear in her eyes as she pleaded for him to stop.
He'd tried over and over again to forget, but he just couldn't.
He thought that starting over would help him forget. He gave himself a new look. He had black hair and wore green eyes. He stopped working out, so he looked less "buff" as his old friends used to say.
Derrick had become addicted to drugs and alcohol.
He was pained that he murdered her. He really murdered her.
Massie Block, the love of his life, was dead because of him. He could remember every single detail like it had happened yesterday.
"Excuse me, sir," he overheard a girl say as she tried to walk past him in a small alleyway that lead to the drugstore. He turned in her direction and caught a glimpse of her before she slipped away. Her hair was the same color as Massie's, her face just as pale as hers was when she was pleading and crying for mercy, when he brought the frame down on her head and spilled her blood all over his hands. His heart started to ache. He thought that he wouldn't hurt as much as the days, weeks and even months passed, but the pain inside of him only kept getting worse.
He shook his head.
He needed to get away from this world, because he was nothing without her.
;-;
Do you really want..do you really want me?
Do you really want me dead or alive to torture for my sins?
Do you really want..do you really want me?
Do you really want me dead or alive to live alone?
;-;
Derrick Harrington had tried repeatedly to end his life accidentally. His mother had always taught him that if he killed himself, he would never go to Heaven, and that's where Massie was right now. That means that that is where he wanted to be. He would walk recklessly in the middle of the road hoping to get hit, go bungee jumping wishing that his cord would break, go skydiving crossing his fingers that his parachute was broken.
His cursed his maker.
He cursed to the sky, but at night, he always prayed for forgiveness.
"Do you really want to keep me alive? To torture me like this? Haven't I suffered enough?" He would yell. "I'm so fucking tired of all of this bull shit. I just want her back! I want to be with her! Please, I beg you. Please take me away!"
I have nothing left to live for, Derrick thought. I don't know how it happened. I'm all alone. I have nothing. I want nothing here. I just want this nightmare to end.
The promises we made were not enough
The prayers that we had prayed were like a drug
The secrets that we sold were never known
The Love we had, The Love we had,
We had to let it go
"I love you, Massie Block," he whispered as he visited her grave in White Plains Memorial Cemetery for probably the last time. "I'm so sorry for what I did. You didn't deserve this."
Tears ran down his cheeks.
Massie would have turned 21 today.
She would have been so happy and full of life if he had let her live.
He got into his rusty, old Volvo and drove to the Westchester Police Department and walked inside.
"My name is Derrick Harrington, and I murdered Massie Block, the love of my life."
;-;
reviews are nice.