I Can Be An Espada Too!

A/N: New project of mine. Don't expect much in the area of romance. Semi-crack and lulz in this story.

Shameless plug-in! Head on over and read Dog Days! :DDDD?

Chapter 1: Wake Up Calls and Reality Checks

It was quiet.

Too quiet.

Something was missing that should have happened at just around this time, but he couldn't quite recognize what exactly that something was.

The click of a door opening resounded in his sensitive ears.

The sound of footstep got louder as he felt a hand pull the top of his blanket away.

"Good morning, Ichigo-kun!"

His fist shot out and clocked whoever was waking him up.

Ah, that was it.

Ichigo's eyes blinked blearily as he saw the figure clutching his face and crumpled to the ground from the corner of his eye, and scowled.

Still disoriented and unaware of his surroundings, which consisted of a simple, white room completely devoid of happiness, he pushed away his simple, white blanket and swung his legs over the side of the simple, white bed. His eyes cracked open slowly-

-Then shot open in horror at the figure on the ground.

"Gin!"

Surprise turned to anger as he narrowed his eyes, and scowled.

"Gin!"

Slowly the fox-faced Shinigami pushed himself up, grin still present as he clutched at his profusely bleeding nose.

"Hey, id dat eddy way do greed sub un'!" he questioned and healed himself as he got up.

"Oh. I thought you were-" Ichigo shook his head and scowled. "That's not important! What are you doing here!" he spat, scowling at the unblemished Shinigami.

"To wake ya up, of course." he replied nonchalantly like it was obvious. It kind of was in hindsight, but that was beside the point.

Scowling, his body language seemed to convey the desire to strangle a traitor.

Gin held up his hands and waved them to placate the angry teen.

"Wait a sec! You don't wanna be late on yer first day, do ya?"

Ichigo stopped scowling and blinked.

"Huh? The hell are you going on about?"

Brows furrowed, the teen continued to stay tense, scowl slowly reforming, despite Gin's attempts at making a friendly atmosphere.

He watched warily like a sc-Owl as Ichimaru fluttered about the room with stupid cat posters and other such genial decorations.

"Aren't those Christmas lights a little out of season?" the boy noted with a half-scowl.

"Based on the circumstances, ya won't just instantly have all the ability ta be a model Espada." the ex-Captain instantly resumed and ignored the valid criticism on modern materialization culture of holiday tradition. Ichigo gaped indignantly.

"I'm a human, dumbass! Do you see a Hollow hole on me?" he blurted, full scowl present on his face. Gin took a thoughtful expression, losing his grin for a few seconds.

"Ya got me there. I'd have thought there'd be one in the middle of yer head. Where yer brain should be. Because I'm implyin' that you're stupid. Heh." he pointed out. Ichigo scowled.

"Ah, I'm jus' messin' with ya. No... I don't see a Hollow hole," he paused, grin widening slightly. "...at the moment."

Before Ichigo could react, Gin continued.

"Shoot to kill, Shinso."

The teen's scowl froze as the blade pierced the middle of chest. He cried out somewhat effeminately.

After a few seconds, with his life flashing before his eyes and... nothing hammering, he tentatively opened his eyes to see the blade in there, but felt no pain and saw no bleeding.

Gin's teeth flashed for a second when he retracted the blade, causing Ichigo to yelp and fall back onto the bed with a 'pomf,' releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding.

Experimentally, the "human" fingered the tear in his shirt and shuddered when he felt nothing as his finger went through his chest.

"Hey now, ya shouldn't do that in front of others. I understand teens get urges..." Gin trailed off, breaking the awkward silence before Ichigo could go fist deep.

His face turned as red as a strawberry. "W-w-what the fuck! I don't- I'm not-"

He suddenly centered himself and exhaled deeply trying to calm himself and ignored Gin's wide grin. Ichigo scowled.

Reaching up to his face, he felt what appeared to be the upper-right portion of his Hollow mask ending at the upper-row of teeth. It surrounded his right eye, but didn't connect at the side parallel to his nose. It felt weightless on his head.

"How'd this happen...?" he questioned in utter resignation.

"Well, ya died-" Ichigo winced. "-an' turned into a full Hollow. We were able ta find, subdue, an' use the Hōgyoku ta turn ya into what ya are now."

Gin moved closer and leered.

"Don't want to keep Aizen-sama waitin', right?"

Ichigo shot up, brimming with anger.

"No way I'll join Aizen!" he hissed with a scowl. Gin's smile widened at his scowl.

"Thought you'd say that."

Before Ichigo could slug Gin and bolt out of the room, the ex-Captain's hand gripped his hair as they were face to face.

The silver-haired Shinigami's eyes popped open, revealing a striking, sky blue color. Ichigo was absorbed into staring straight into them by the simple fact that they were open, which was a big mistake.

"LOOK INTO MY EYES." he singsonged in a deeper and much more creepy tone.

With that, Ichigo slumped down, knocked out by Gin's Hakufuku.

Hoisting the Arrancar over his shoulder, he strolled out to pay Aizen a visit. To those who gave him strange looks for carrying the unconscious Arrancar, he waved and smiled.

"Heya, Aizen-sama-dono. Guess we should get started on Ichigo, huh?"

Aizen smiled politely and nodded. "You took your time." he stated.

"Couldn't resist havin' a chat with the boy. Very amusin' kid."

"Very well," Aizen flashed down to stand beside Gin (But in reality was standing next to him the entire time). "Let us begin. Szayel."

Inspecting equipment that had been transported to the room, the scientist walked over to Aizen, seemingly satisfied with the status of his tools.

"Everything is ready, Aizen-sama." he informed, grinning at the prospect of testing on the hybrid.

Aizen simply smiled wider.