Damn raising pokemon and traveling all over the world to collect badges and become pokemon masters or whatever. It all seemed stupid to me growing up, that's why I guess time got away from me. I'm 23 years old now, most pokemon trainers start at 10 or 12 years old. So I guess it's alittle late for a guy like me.
I think instead of being a pokemon trainer I'll just drink booze and party.
Or rather that's what I thought I was gonna do...until this happens...
One morning in Pallet Town...
I remember the day starting out with the usual, me waking up, brushing my teeth, drinking a beer and watching Pokemon Football on PSC(Pokemon Sports Channel).
My late parents old home was filled with trash, chips strew across a once beautiful furniture set and the HD television mounted on the wall had afew smudges on it. My name is Rodney Haze, my mother and father were both Pokemon Researchers back in the day when they came across some huge discovery and died. It was tragic but then again I was only 2 years old, Professor Oak raised me because they were friends of his.
He tried getting me into the Pokemon Training community but I was alittle neglectful.
I became a prick who just stays in the house all day, get fucked on booze and have occasional block parties.
As I sat down watching the Team of Marowak's battle against a Team of Mankey on my television set. WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! There was suddenly a loud pounding on my door. "Ahhh dude..." I said to myself putting the amber shaded beer bottle down on the small coffee table and advancing to the door in nothing but a white t-shirt and strapped pajama pants.
"What is it!" I said angrily pulling the door open only to see a camera crew in my face.
"WE'RE HERE TODAY TO CONGRADULATE THIS WEEK'S WINNER OF THE POKEMON RAFFLE! TODAY'S WINNER IS THIS BOY! RODNEY HAZE OF PALLET TOWN!" A cute girl with red hair in a short skirt jumped in between me and the camera holding her mic. She turned to me and held the mic in my face. "RODDY! HOW DO YOU FEEL!"
T.T-Me "Don't call me Roddy. And get the hell off of my property." I tried swinging the door close but it hit something hard and suddenly my 'so called' manly strength was reduced to that of a small child. I looked beyond the door to see a Machoke holding the door open with one finger against both my arms. "Hey you! Knock it off ya fuggin..." Before I could finish my insult the Machoke pushed the door open and I went sliding back into my comfortable abode.
The camera crew, spunky reporter girl and the machoke made their way in. "Ew... it stinks in here. Let's wrap this up! To the winner of the pokemon raffle, you get 100,000Pokedollars and a super rare pokemon! Treat em right! Ewww...let's go! Let's get out of here quick! I'm gonna hurl!" She pushed the crew and the Machoke out. In seconds they were gone leaving a silver suitcase and a red pokeball.
Thing is, I don't even remember entering a raffle.
Pallet Town-Ketchum Cafe
I sat down at a small cafe, sitting across me was my girlfriend, Yumi. A cute college girl with long black hair in a hime cut, blue eyes and pale white skin with a rocking body, I met her in Professor Oak's lab where she was interning and we've been dating for afew months now. I think she likes me for my awesome white hair, yeah my hair is white.
She was rolling in laughter and pointing at me. "I saw it...I saw it all...it came on this afternoon. You looked so...so stupid."
T.T-Me "Ok ok it wasn't that funny."
She stood up in her chair and straightened her lab coat and adjusted her circular glasses. "Alright, alright I'll stop laughing at the sensitive baby." She said playfully pinching my cheek.
I slapped her hand away. "Dude...c'mon." I blushed furiously.
"Sooo cute." She adjusted her glasses. "I can't wait to get off of work and strap you to my bed again."
Oh yeah, forgot to mention Yumi is a sex freak. She seems like your normal average, sexy geek but deep down she's a pervert.
"I don't even remember entering a stupid pokemon raffle." I said starting to drink my club soda.
"That's right, because I entered it for you." She replied tipping her glasses up onto the bridge of her nose again.
"What? You?" I said.
"Yes, but I didn't actually think you would win it. Wow...this must be fate." She shrugged jokingly. "So you got 100,000P and a pokemon out of the deal. What are you gonna do?"
I was already thinking about how I was gonna spend the money all morning. "I'm gonna buy a fuggin convertible." I crossed my arms triumphantly. My mind instantly wandered to a land that would soon become reality, a land where I cruised around with my hot professor girlfriend in a cherry red convertible! I pulled a folded up car magazine out of my red casual jacket and handed it to Yumi, she looked over the magazine ad with the car I wanted but she didn't jump in excitement or jump over the table to kiss me like I wanted her to.
She had this look, a strange look of disappointment in her eyes as she stared at the ad.
"What's wrong? Don't like that model?" I asked.
She set the magazine down softly on the table. "Rod, what are you going to do with your life? Your parties are always crazy and don't get me wrong I'm very happy just being with you but...what's to come of us in the future? Do you see us getting married? Or anything long term? We can't keep partying or having drunk sex every night. Professor Oak's thinking to promote me in his lab to Lab Director. It's a huge step for me...And I won't have as much free time with you as I've always had before."
I sat back in my chair and looked at the table. "So what...you wanna break up or something?"
"No Rod, I'm not saying that. I'm saying...find a job or some type of career or become a Pokemon Trainer. You have a pokemon with you now." She replied. "Speaking of...where is it? Do you know what kind of pokemon it is?"
"No..." I said reaching into my pocket and pulling it out. The small red ball with a glowing white light at it's face. I just set the pokeball down on the table between us. "Isn't it alittle embarrassing though? To start training pokemon at 23 years old! Aren't I too old for that kid stuff?"
"Kid stuff? Pokemon Trainer is a very lively career. It's hardly kid stuff, the only reason people start out as Pokemon trainers at young age is because children have been known to connect with pokemon a lot faster than adults. You can still be a trainer, it's not embarrassing at all." She assured me waving her finger about.
I sighed. "I don't know."
"Atleast think about it Rod, it's a lot of fun. You get lots of exercise, money and recognition. Give it a shot, and hey if you don't like it then you can come back here to me." She leaned over the table and kissed me.
"If I leave, no crazy sex." I said pointing at her.
"I've already got that covered. Should you decide to do it, I got a way me and you can still get together every night." She winked. "Well I've gotta go, we're prepping afew pokemon for three new trainers today. Really think about what we talked about Rod."
"Alright...alright..." I watched her leave as she switched left and right carrying her cup of coffee off down the dirt road towards Professor Oak's lab. I sat back in my chair at the cafe and looked at the tall grass or civilians pass me by on bikes or exercising with their pokemon out in the fields. My eyes then strayed to the pokeball sitting in the dead center of the table.
I reached for the pokeball but paused and let my hand down. "Stupid." I shook my head. "I should sell this thing and get even more money..."
As I sat there at my small outside table looking like a creep, I looked across the dirt road of the cafe into a small field where two boys were facing off. "I challenge you to a pokemon battle!" The boy in the white cap held up a small pokeball.
The boy in a bug catcher's hat with a tackle box grinned. "I accept!"
A small crowd gathered around the two boys and began placing bets like a horse race or a gambling circle. Something about that got my heart racing, from where I stood I could still see the two boys despite the cheering crowd. "The hell?" I said to myself using my hand as a visor from the sun.
"Ok come on out! Beedrill!" The bug catcher tossed a pokeball into the circle and the pokeball exploded with a white light releasing a yellow bee with two drills for arms and wide spread wings with big red eyes.
The boy with the white flat top hat threw in a pokeball. "Get em' Pikachu!" His orange colored pokeball exploded releasing a yellow rat with red cheeks and a zigzagging tail. Seeing both pokemon on the field again made my heart race.
"Battle Start!" Both boys said at the same time.
At that moment the Pikachu took off running on all fours towards the flying bee that zipped through the air like a bullet in return. "Beedrill: Poison Sting!" The Bug Catcher ordered pointing it's bug catching net at it's companion. The Beedrill held it's abdomen up and it's stinger was coated in a purple poisonous glaze as it flew down at Pikachu.
"Pikachu: Thundershock!" The boy in the white hat replied pointing at the Beedrill. Pikachu's body exploded with blue lightning shooting off azure blue bolts of lightning at the Beedrill whom used mid air agility to dodge the bolts at high speed. The Beedrill dodged every lightning strike left and right before flying and striking the Pikachu with it's stinger.
WHAM!
Blood splattered from the Pikachu's back as it went spinning off to the side hitting the ground and skipping away before coming to a complete stop. The pikachu stood up slowly on all four's spitting a wad of pokemon blood to the side. "Pikachu can you still fight?" The boy in the white hat asked.
"PIKA!" Pikachu replied back standing up on it's hind legs with fury and vigor. "Alright!" The boy confirmed.
"Give it up! My Beedrill's too fast for your damn pikachu!" The bug catcher laughed pointing his net again. "Beedrill: Poison Sting again!"
The Beedrill dove off towards the injured Pikachu again with it's poison glazed stinger. The Pikachu panted and dropped to all fours, it's face was slowly turning purple. Sick with poison, it was effected from the Beedrill's last attack. "Pikachu..." The boy with the white hat cried. His pikachu wasn't moving, it laid on the grassy floor covered in it's own blood and panting hard.
"Ok, I give up. My pikachu's hurt!" The boy cried.
"Shut up loser! If you can't see a battle through to the end then you can't call yourself a trainer!" The bug catcher laughed.
"Little prick!" I said grabbing the cup of tea from my table and throwing it off the balcony of the cafe where I was over to the Bug Catcher hitting him over the side of the head. WHACK!
"OWWW!" He cried looking over at me, the moment he was stricken the boy's Beedrill stopped it's advance towards the Pikachu. "Hey you sonuvabitch! What did you do that for?"
"CAN'T YOU SEE HIS PIKACHU CAN'T FIGHT ANYMORE? HELP EM TAKE THAT THING TO THE POKEMON CENTER YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE!" I screamed back.
The boy in the white cap picked up his bleeding Pikachu and dashed off down the dirt road. "You dare interrupt a battle between trainers! Beedrill sting that dick and teach em some manners." With that my heart dropped as I watched the Beedrill hit a 180 and come right for me with it's abdomen raised to sting me.
"Good gawd!" I screamed leaning back and hitting the table, the table flipped over and my pokeball went flying into the air. I saw it in slow motion spinning in the air above me and instinctually I screamed. "COME OUT! WHOEVER YOU ARE! HELP ME DAMMIT!" The Beedrill was buzzing towards me and I was drenched in sweat and soon to be piss. But my pokeball exploded and hopping out of a white light was a brown covered creature with tape wrapped around it's wrists and springs for legs.
"HITMONLEE!" It screamed round house kicking the Beedrill out of the air and sending it flying back down towards the ground. The Beedrill flipped backwards and caught itself in mid air spinning and shaking it's head.
"You're a pokemon trainer too!" The bug catcher pointed at me.
I raised an eyebrow. "Me uh...no uh..." I looked at Hitmonlee whom was dancing on one foot like a kick boxer ready for action. It's eyes cut to me then nodded as if accepting me as it's master. "Uh...Yeah, HELL YEAH I'M A TRAINER YOU LITTLE SHIT! And this is my Hitmonlee!" I pointed to Hitmonlee who was ready for a brawl.
Both me and Hitmonlee jumped off of the wooden balcony and down onto the grasslands across the street in the other trainer boy's place. I stood up and so did Hitmonlee.
"Heh...fine then you'll take the brat's place." The Bug Catcher pointed his net at Hitmonlee. "Beedrill use FLY!"
With that Beedrill spread it's bug like wings releasing a wave of wind that blew everyone in the battle circle back abit it flew high into the air, so high that it was a mere speck in the shining sunlight above. "Dammit...uhhh..." I said looking at Hitmonlee whom was waiting for a command, it just stood there on one foot with it's kick boxing stance. It's not that I didn't know how to battle I just didn't know any of Hitmonlee's attacks.
Beedrill dropped down like a yellow bolt of lightening and headbutted Hitmonlee sending him flying back into me, we both went tumbling along the grass until we finally came to a stop. "Ahahahah! What a loser!" The bug catcher laughed aloud and the gambling crowds around him laughed as well.
"Hitmoooon..." Hitmonlee stood to his feet quick then grabbed me by the arm and stood me to my feet with super strength.
"Sorry man, I just don't know any of your moves!" I rubbed behind my head.
"ROD!"
I heard my name called and both me and Hitmonlee spotted a small red book that looked like an Ipod flying our way. I caught it then looked down at it, it was a Pokedex. I looked in the direction of where it came from to see Yumi cheering me on, her, Professor Oak and afew other intern researchers were there as well. "Use it to find out what kind of moves Hitmonlee has!" Yumi explained.
"GO ROD! GO!"
"You can do it my boy!" Professor Oak cheered as well.
"TOO LATE ASSHOLE!" The Bug Catcher pointed at us. "Beedrill: Use Poison Sting! Stab both of those losers through the heart!"
I opened the Pokedex and pointed it at Hitmonlee whom crossed his arms willingly letting me scan him. POKEDEX: "The evolved form of Tyrogue, Hitmonlee is the 106th pokemon discovered..."
I quickly pressed through to skip the explanation and get to the attacks. "HEY HURRY TO THE MOVES! THE MOVES!"
POKEDEX: "Don't rush me you dickhead! It's attacks are Double Kick, Hi Jump Kick, Blaze Kick and Mega Kick...fuckhead...rushing me!"
O.o-Me "Uhhh alright then..."
T.T-Hitmonlee "Hitmon?"
By the time we turned around Beedrill was close enough to stab the both of us, Hitmonlee with his sharpened reflexes jumped and kicked me in the chest making me bend backwards at the same time doing a backflip off of it's kick. Making both of us dodge the Beedrill's poison sting. While lying on the ground I pointed at the Beedrill. "Hitmonlee: Blaze Kick!"
Hitmonlee landed on the ground and stamped it's right foot into the ground, with that it began spinning at high speed using friction to burn it's foot into a blazing inferno. It's foot caught aflame like a torch and the kickboxing pocket monster flew through the air drop kicking Beedrill with flaming foot. WHAMM! SHAAAAA!
The Beedrill flew back with a scorch on it's torso hitting the ground hard. "What the hell?" The Bug Catcher cried. "Beedrill get up now!" Beedrill was on it's drills trying to force it's wings to flap but it couldn't it was too paralyzed from the strike.
My heart began racing with excitement. "This is fucking awesome! Hitmonlee: Finish it with Hi Jump Kick!" I said pointing to the air. With that Hitmonlee phased out and appeared in mid air.
"BEEDRILL GET UP! WE'RE GONNA LOSE!"
"NOPE YOU'RE DONE FOR YA LITTLE SHIT!"
With that the fighting type pocket monster exploded with an orange aura powering itself up then bursting down towards Beedrill and slamming it's foot into the bug type's back and crushing the monster into the ground causing a massive explosion to set off.
Dirt, debris and smog followed and when the dust cleared. Beedrill laid unconscious in a crater with Hitmonlee standing victorious with one finger up. The gamblers dropped their jaws and money, the researcher's all cheered. I held up a fist. "FUCK YEAH!"
Hitmonlee dusted his shoulder off then jumped into the air and returned to his pokeball with a backflip. The pokeball then flew through the air if being manipulated and into my hand again. "Noway..." I grinned staring at the young punk I defeated. He dropped to his knees like the little freak he was and I simply smirked. "You lost kid, pay me!"
Two days later...
Hitmonlee and I had packed up acouple of things into my brand new black convertible car. Some things for traveling, bedding, cloths, food and booze. I was dressed in my brand new trainer's attire a red and black leather casual jacket with a fur collar, blue jeans with black combat boots and a pair of red goggles strapped to my forehead. Hitmonlee also had a pair of goggles strapped to his head.
Yumi was there to watch us pack. "So you've decided to become a Pokemon Trainer." She smiled at me.
I smiled back. "Hell yeah, if I knew it was this fuggin fun I would have started a long time ago." I said shutting the trunk closed. Hitmonlee hopped into the passenger's seat. She eased into my arms next to the door and we both kissed one last time. "Oh yeah, what was that thing you worked out? You said we'd be able to spend every night together?" With that she dropped a mechanical Hidden Machine box into my hand.
"It's the HM for the Technique Fly. Catch a flying type and get him to fly your ass back here for my lovin'." She said slapping my butt before I got into the car.
T.T-Me "I forget whose the man in our relationship often."
"Duh...it's me." She said sticking her tongue out at me.
"Right. Oh right...you're pokedex. Thanks for letting me hold it." I said trying to hand it to her but she just pushed it back lightly.
"You'll need it more than me babe, catch a lot of pokemon and send them home so I can research em."
"Will do." With that I pressed my foot down on the peddle and Hitmonlee and I were off.
From a drunken loser to a Pokemon Trainer, I know it's every kid's fantasy and dream...I wonder what life will throw our way now, what kinda pokemon will I catch? To think this Pokemon stuff ain't THAT lame.
POKEMON X: Kanto Region
Want to be in the fic? Want to make your handheld pocket monsters battle in real anime like battle sequences in this asskicking fic! Then fill out this bio sheet! Don't be SHY! This is my first pokemon fic ever so let's make this good! Leave the bio sheets in your review. KANTO REGION POKEMON ONLY PLEASE!
BIO SHEET:
Name: (Your name goes here...no RIGHT HERE!)
Age: (I don't take kids under 12 years old! Ew...that sounded pedo)
Gender: (Guy or Gal?)
Looks: (Hair color/style, eye color, skin color)
Cloths: (What are you wearing! Please include accessories if possible)
POKEMON:(All six pokemon or if you don't carry six, whatever number you friggin carry! All you need to give me is the pokemon in question, it's attacks or skills and it's nickname if you gave it one.)
Background: (Your character's background where did he/she come from?)
Personality: (What's your character's personality. Is he/she mean? Are they nice? Remember that your pokemon's actions and personality reflect from your OCs personality.)
Your Goal: (What's your character's goal in their journey? To be a pokemon master? To bang one of the Pokemon Center nurses? To defeat the Elite Four? Or to take down their rivals? What is your GOAL! WHY ARE YOU ON THIS JOURNEY? GIVE ME ANSWERS PANSY!)