A/N: Heyoo. Another story. And it ish Spamano -derp-
Warnings: yaoi, swearing
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia!
"Lovinoooo I'm home~!"
Antonio waltzed through the door and Lovino scowled at him.
"You seem happy."
"Yes I am!" Antonio approached Lovino with his hands behind his back. "Guess what I got?"
"An education?"
"No."
"A diploma?"
"No…"
"What about–"
"It doesn't have anything to do with school, Lovino!" Antonio shoved a small-shelled animal close to Lovino's face, making the Italian go cross-eyed.
"What the hell is that?" Lovino asked, swatting it away.
"It's a turtle!" Antonio replied happily, cuddling it to his cheek.
"Why the hell would you get a turtle?"
"Because," The Spaniard pouted, "I got bored while shopping so I went to the pet store. I saw this little guy and I just had to get him!"
"Do you have a name for it?" Lovino asked, disregarding the fact that Antonio could've left their groceries at the store once he saw the turtle knowing him.
"Ti Amo!"
"What the hell kind of a name is that?" Lovino asked with puzzlement.
"A name that fits him!" Antonio happily held up Ti Amo and spun around in circles.
"Idiot, do you even have a tank to keep him in?"
Antonio instantly stopped spinning and there was a moment of silence.
"Uh…I guess I forgot that part?"
Lovino rolled his eyes but was surprised when a shelled reptile was shoved into his arms.
"I'll be right back! Take care of him while I'm gone!"
Antonio ran out of the house and slammed the door behind him. Lovino sighed and looked down at the turtle that was lazily flailing in his arms. Its eyes met Lovino's and it momentarily stopped its struggle to escape.
Lovino held it closer to his face and examined it, Ti Amo staring back with glossy eyes.
There was a steady silence until the turtle reached out and bit Lovino's nose.
"AHH YOU DAMN TURTLE GET OFF OF ME!"
Lovino shook his head back and forth, attempting to yank Ti Amo's mouth off of his nose. He pried its mouth open and his nose was freed, but his finger was sacrificed instead. Lovino bit his lip as the turtle bit down onto his finger harder. Lovino dashed for the kitchen, searching for anything possible to replace his finger.
He found a broom and ran over to it, positioned it to Ti Amo's mouth. He pried open the turtles mouth his with thumb and middle finger then quickly shoved the end of the broom in its mouth. Lovino fell back on his rear as the turtle latched onto the wooden stick.
He panted whilst glaring at the reptile spawn from hell.
The turtle, having the oversized end of the broom shoved in his small mouth; slowly turned it's head to stare at him blankly. Lovino gulped.
"Wh-What do you want, you damn turtle?" He squeaked. The turtle began taking a step forward and Lovino crab-crawled to the other end of the kitchen.
"No way in hell you're eating my finger again!"
XxXxXxX
"Lovino, I'm ba–" Antonio paused when he walked through the door, taking note of the living room. The couches and cushions were lined across the kitchen entrance, blocking it off.
"Lovi?" Antonio questioned as he approached the barricade.
"Antonio!" Lovino jumped up, making the pot on his head rattle. He had on leather gloves and a wooden spoon was in his grip.
The Spaniard blinked as he set down the turtle tank slowly. "What's…going on?"
"That damn devil spawn bit me! I'm preventing him from doing that again!" Lovino exclaimed, pulling off one glove and showing Antonio the bite marks.
Antonio looked over the barricade and peered into the kitchen, seeing Ti Amo dormant in the same spot Lovino had dropped him, the oversized end of the broom still in his mouth. Antonio burst out laughing, making Lovino look away in suppressed embarrassment.
After Antonio's laughter died down, he wiped a tear away and knocked on the metal pot that was present on Lovino's head.
"You're cute, Lovi," He winked at him and stepped over the barricade.
The Italian watched as the Spaniard make his way to the devil turtle on the floor and he squatted down.
"Hey, Ti Amo! I got your turtle castle for you!"
"Castle?" Lovino questioned.
"I don't want to call it cage, that sounds like he's in prison!" Antonio poked his turtle's head and the reptile glared at him.
"Looks like he's not letting go anytime soon," Antonio sighed, "We'll have to buy a new broom."
"What?!" Lovino questioned.
Lovino rolled his eyes as he tapped his fingers on his leg impatiently. He and Antonio were supposed to go grocery shopping since they were out of the thing that Antonio had wanted that night, but the Spaniard had gotten distracted with his turtle – or aka Lovino's new evil spawn enemy.
"Lovino, isn't he just so perfect?" Antonio sighed dreamily as he stared at Ti Amo through the glass. The turtle was stationary on a fake rock that had been provided – it was the only thing in the cage – with the cutoff end of the broom still in its mouth.
"I don't see why you didn't just slip the broom out of his mouth."
"Because he enjoys having it there! You can just see the happiness in his eyes!" Antonio stood up and looked back at Lovino. The Italian averted his eyes.
"I've been waiting for you for ten minutes, I think your damn turtle will be fine!"
"Okay, okay, sorry Lovino! I just want Ti Amo to be safe!"
"He's a turtle. I don't think people would want to kidnap him." Lovino muttered.
"But he's a special turtle!" Antonio protested.
Lovino rolled his eyes.
XxXxXxX
When Lovino and Antonio got home, the Spaniard went straight to Ti Amo. He fed him some dead crickets he had bought at the pet store, though Lovino was disgusted that he would even touch the bag.
Lovino looked back at Antonio with an ache in his chest. The bags in his arms were beginning to become heavy, so he pushed the feeling aside and began unloading all of the items they bought onto the counter.
"Lovino," Antonio's voice entered the kitchen. The Italian turned around with masked hope in his eyes. "I'm taking Ti Amo on a walk. Will you get the groceries unloaded?"
Lovino felt his anger rising up. "Whatever. Have fun with your devil spawn."
"Okay!" Antonio gave him a cheeky grin and pranced out of the house.
Lovino tilted his head to the side then ran a hand through his hair.
"I'd be a damned idiot if I was jealous of a turtle."
The next couple days Lovino was irked to no end. Either he was hallucinating, or the turtle was actually starting to send him dirty looks.
When Antonio was at work, Lovino took Ti Amo out of his tank and set him on the kitchen tile.
He got on his hands and knees and got as close to eye-level as he could with the turtle. He stared at it intensely while the reptile stared back with no interest.
"What makes you so special that Antonio wants to take you on walks?" He muttered. "You're a turtle. I don't understand."
Ti Amo had long given up the end of the wooden broom, so Lovino knew there was a chance that his finger could be the next victim. He cautiously extended his finger out to the turtles nose, making the reptile go cross-eyed.
"You're not so scary once I stare at you long enough," Lovino began to stroke its nose gently, "not that you were scary anyways."
The turtle's expression seemed to change from indifferent to irritation and it opened its mouth. Lovino snapped his hand back to his chest.
"No way you're biting my finger again! I'll chop your damn head off with a knife next time that happens!"
"Lovino? Who are you talking to?"
The Italian turned around to see Antonio standing there, a questioning look on his face.
Lovino sat up and Ti Amo took a small step forward.
"I was…uh, having bonding time with the spawn." Lovino scolded himself for such a lame excuse.
Antonio was silent as he watched the turtle loom over Lovino's pinky. It opened its mouth and bit down, making Lovino's face contort into a grimace.
"You damn turtle…I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
XxXxXxX
When Antonio had separated Ti Amo from Lovino's finger, the Italian was ultimately pissed and he locked himself in the only bedroom in their apartment. Antonio had no way to get in, so he stayed in the living room and watched TV all night, whilst keeping watch over Ti Amo and his lazy movements.
It was now nearing eleven, and Antonio sighed as he looked away from the clock. He guessed he was sleeping on the couch tonight.
Antonio got up and walked over to his turtle in the tank and sat down so he could see Ti Amo more clearly.
"Heya little guy," He smiled, "You seem to cause Lovi a lot of trouble, you know. It's not very nice, after all he was trying to bond with you earlier today."
"I was lying when I said that."
Antonio turned his head to see Lovino leaning against the doorframe.
"Lovino! I didn't know you came out."
He scoffed. "I figured you might want to sleep in the room tonight."
"I don't understand why you never sleep in there since we can switch off," Antonio smiled as he walked over to Lovino.
"You're the one with a job and working. You need better sleep than I do."
"I'd get equal sleep no matter where I was." Antonio smiled, but when Lovino didn't reply, his expression turned sullen.
"You don't like Ti Amo, do you?" He asked.
"What was your first clue?"
"Why?"
Lovino paused. He mulled over his words carefully.
"You seem to be focusing on him more than other things–"
"Like you?"
"–like your job; what no!" Lovino was alarmed.
Antonio chuckled. "Are you positive? I don't think it's just my job you think I'm neglecting."
"I never said neglect," Lovino corrected, "I said focus."
"And I said you," Antonio took a step forward, making Lovino stand up straight and take a step back. "I got the turtle because I thought it would be nice for both of us to care for something. You apparently didn't like it though."
"He's not my favorite, but if you like him then I'll tolerate him." Lovino looked away and Antonio smiled softly.
"You're so cute, Lovi." Antonio softly cupped Lovino's face in his hand and leaned in and kissed him. Lovino responded by stepping forward into the Spaniard's warm embrace.
The two heard a scratching behind them and they broke apart, looking at Ti Amo. He was scratching at his cage, and when Lovino looked at the reptile's eyes, they seemed to be full of malicious triumph.
"You damn turtle I'LL CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF!"
END
A/N: ….after writing this turtles are my favorite animal. THEY'RE SO CUTE!
Now I'm gonna force my parents to buy me a turtle and I'm naming it Ti Amo.
Please review! XD
~Kir