Miranda – What If – Series One, Episode Four "HOLIDAY"

WHAT IF THE ESCORT HADN'T BEEN CLIVE…? WHAT IF IT HAD BEEN… GARY?

MIRANDA'S HOTEL ROOM

Miranda is having fun with the shoe shiner and doesn't hear someone coming in through the open door and leaping onto her bed.

Gary – "Madam requested an escort?"

Miranda recognises the voice instantly and turns around; shocked.

Miranda – "Gary! You're an escort!?"

Gary – "You're not in Thailand!"

Miranda – "Coming back at you with; you're an escort!"

Gary – "Coming back at you with; you ordered an escort!"

Miranda – "I ordered company!"

Gary – "That's just code!"

Miranda – "Oh my god!"

Gary – "Well; seeing as we're here… "

Gary starts to undo his belt.

Miranda – "Gary! I'm not going to sleep with you!"

Gary – "Oh. Why not? You won't have to pay full price."

Miranda – "Gary!"

Gary – "It was a joke!"

Miranda – "Please keep your trousers on!"

Gary – "I am, but this belt is killing me, it keeps digging in."

Miranda – "Oh. Well you can take that off if you like. And maybe your shirt."

Gary – "Miranda! Well ok. But you've got to take off the dressing gown."

Miranda – "And you'll need to take off those shoes; I'm bare foot and it seems only right."

Gary – "Sure; but if you want me to lose the socks, you've got to ditch the pyjama bottoms."

Miranda – "Well, that's fair enough."

Gary – "Perhaps we'd better close the door."

Miranda – "Oh, good idea."

Miranda closes the door.

Miranda – "Cup of tea? I've got stacks of milklets."

Gary – "Yeah, great."

Gary joins Miranda next to the tiny kettle as she puts it on.

Gary – "So you didn't go to Thailand."

Miranda – "No. So you're moonlighting as an escort."

Gary – "Yes. The restaurant doesn't pay much and I'm still paying off my student loan."

They lapse into silence. Both lost in thought. The kettle takes a long time to boil.

Finally the kettle boils and Miranda pours water into two cups.

Miranda – "Tea."

Gary – "Lovely… hot… tea."

Silence again as Miranda stirs the tea and puts in the milk.

Miranda hands one cup to Gary.

Miranda – "It's really… hot… don't burn your lips… I mean hands, hand, sorry."

They sit down on the end of the bed to drink the tea. It feels more than a little strange to both of them; sitting half naked on a double bed in a hotel room with each other; drinking tea.

Miranda – "So are you self employed?"

Gary – "No, it's an agency."

Miranda – "Will you get into trouble? You know; for not… you know… completing the job."

Gary – "No. Err. Yes! Yes I probably will… "

Miranda – "I feel bad."

Gary – "Yeah; they're really strict. I could lose my job there actually."

Miranda – "I wouldn't want that… "

Gary – "No?"

Miranda – "No."

Gary takes their cups and puts them back on the table, then sits back down next to Miranda.

Miranda – "Gary?"

Gary – "Miranda."

Miranda – "This won't, umm, spoil our friendship?"

Gary – "No."

Gary gently runs his fingers through Miranda's hair, whilst drawing closer to her.

Miranda – "Gary?"

Gary – "Mmm."

Miranda – "I've just remembered something."

There is a sharp rap on the door and it opens. Jason enters.

Jason – "You ordered a turn down service? Oh, sorry, I'll come back. Or maybe I won't. Um… goodnight!"

Jason leaves hastily.

Gary and Miranda are momentarily shocked but then see the funny side and they both laugh out loud.

Gary – "Miranda; next time you order an escort you need to cancel the turn down service!"

Miranda – "What you mean; next time!"

Gary – "Come here!"

They share a hug; but this instantly reminds them both of their state of undress and they feel awkward for a moment. But neither wants to let go. It's decision time. Go for it? Or pull back? Friends? Or more?

Miranda gently moves her hand down Gary's back.

Gary, rather less gently, tugs at the night-dress.