Cyborg's Guide to Being the Single One
1. Get used to sporadic, uncomfortable make-out sessions.
"Hey y'all-" Cyborg stopped in horror. There were Robin and Starfire, the it-couple, on his couch. Making out. Not that he hadn't walked in on any of them. But it was just…the position that they were in…was awkward. Robin was on top of Starfire, pinning her wrists above her head, and Starfire's legs were wrapped around his torso. Robin's hair was sweaty and hanging down in front of his face. He leaned down closer to her face, his face nearly inches away from hers when-
"Hey Cyborg!" Robin quickly hopped off of Starfire, knocking her onto the ground. He sat there awkwardly. Cyborg just stared at them. They had beds. They had beds. He had his couch. They had others places to go do…that.
"…I'm going to go get the cleaner. This never happened." Robin and Starfire nodded as they walked into the hallway, blushing and pursing their lips. Cyborg shook his head one last time and went to the linen closet.
2.0 Tease, Tease, Tease…
"Hey there you two." Cyborg smirked, crossing his arms across his chest. He mainly teased Robin and Starfire; mostly because only idiots tease the daughter of a demon who can send you to hell if you look at her the wrong way. Robin blushed, playing with his collar.
"Cyborg; stop it." Robin's voice had a hard edge to it as Starfire glowered at him.
"Why must Cyborg not talk to us?" Cyborg chuckled as he walked away. His work was done.
"Uh…"
2.5… but make sure to never tease anyone who can send you to hell. Ever.
"Hey there you two." Cyborg smirked. He crossed his arms across his chest, staring at the couple through half-lidded eyes. The green Changeling blushed as the hooded empath glowered.
"Shut it Cyborg." Cyborg moved back a few paces at the demonic edge to her voice.
"Okay okay sorry!" His voice went shrill as he ran to his room.
3. Enjoy yourself at parties and tease those in relationships.
"Hey there big boy." A woman purred at the two boys, namely Beast Boy and Cyborg. They both smiled at the same time, their mouths watering
"Hey." Cyborg stared at the little green fellow, who was writhing and looking around.
"Aren't you datin' Raven Grass Stain?" The woman smiled as she sauntered towards Cyborg, lips parted and tongue bitten.
"I…I…er…" Beast Boy started to perspire as he ran away from the two humans.
"Get you a drink?" Cyborg nodded as the woman walked to the punch bowl. Which was spiked, as all punch bowls are.
4. Unintentionally create the most uncomfortable and sexually awkward situations possible.
"Dammit Cyborg…" Robin muttered.
"Sorry man…I seriously didn't mean to." Cyborg apologized, holding up both his hands.
Interesting how that whenever Cyborg cleaned the equipment, someone's face was always buried into another person's chest.
5. And finally, pair them off from the beginning.
"Hmm…okay. Robin is an obsessive compulsive, natural born leader. Starfire is a sweet, naïve person from another world. They should go well together. Whenever Robin got pissy she'd be able to calm him down. Good match right there. Next…Raven is a moody, hostile chick. Beast Boy is a crazy, immature dude. They'll go good together. They can balance each other out." Cyborg smiled, looking down at the diagram he'd drawn up. Yep; this would be a nice friendship.
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So...that was in my brain for a few days and now it's on the Internet (0_0) Review and Favorite. Grammar Nazis and Flamers welcome.