A/N: Hello again everyone! I have another fluffy little Klaine thing for you. I also wanted to say that I am not making fun of people who shop at Walmart-it is literally the only thing to do after 6:00 in the city I go to school in-this is inspired by an incident that actually happened to me. I hope you like it! It was a lot of fun to write, even if it does end kind of awkwardly. And, true to form, I have to remind you all that you rule! All the alerts I've been getting are wonderful, thank you so much! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee...yet. :P
Kurt and Blaine had just finished dinner at Breadstix and were getting ready to leave. Blaine took Kurt's hand as they left the restaurant, and all of the sudden Blaine stopped dead in his tracks and smiled at Kurt.
"Let's go to Walmart!"
"Okay," Kurt replied, "random, but I guess that we could go. Is there something in particular that you need?"
"Nope! I just want to have some fun."
"Walmart is your idea of fun? The symbol of Middle American life screams fun to you?"
"They have everything there! Come on, get in the car!" Blaine was bouncing up and down as he drove to Lima's Walmart SuperCenter. "We are going to have so much fun. We can explore the toy aisle, look at all the ugly clothes, go people watching-"
"We're going to go people watching at Walmart? Why would we do such a thing?"
"Haven't you seen some of the people who go there? It's insane!"
They finally reached the store and Blaine parked his car. "This is going to be so much fun," he squealed, clapping his hands together, "let's go!"
Blaine took a running start before he realized that Kurt hadn't extricated himself from the car yet. Blaine ran over to his door and took his hand, pulling him out of the car.
"Come on silly! We have Walmarting to do!"
"Walmarting?" Kurt looked at Blaine quizzically. "Did you just make up a new word? Also, you're way too excited for this. It's becoming a little embarrassing."
Blaine ran backwards, facing Kurt. He stuck out his tongue and replied, "You love me and you know it."
"You're lucky," Kurt replied, grabbing his hand and spinning him around, "otherwise I wouldn't keep you around."
"You're silly," Blaine said, kissing Kurt's cheek, "but I love you too! And we're going to have so much fun here, you'll see."
They walked in the door and were greeted by a middle-aged man with a mullet. "Welcome to Walmart" he mumbled, staring at their linked hands.
"Well, that was a delightful start to the night," Kurt hissed, "a hair faux pas and latent homophobia."
"Maybe he was just jealous because I have such a hot boyfriend," Blaine whispered right into Kurt's ear, sending a shiver down his spine, "I think that must be it."
"You can't just do stuff like that in the middle of a store! What will people think?"
"I'm not allowed to whisper now?"
"You know what I mean!"
"Let's go to the toy section!"
"I am so glad that you have the attention span of a three year old. Hey, not so fast!"
Blaine was practically dragging Kurt to the toy section. Once they set foot in the toy section, Kurt knew that this was a terrible idea.
"They have Nerf guns! Those are my favorite! And super soakers, those are my other favorite! This place rocks!"
"I'm just going to stand over here and pretend that you're not my boyfriend, okay?"
"You keep saying that but-OH MY GOD FOAM SWORDS!" Blaine ran over and picked up a foam sword, stabbing at the air.
"Again, attention span of a three year old…"
"They have helmets too! This is sweet! Kurt, we need to buy these." Blaine had put on a plastic helmet and was pretending to fight an imaginary dragon. "Back beast! I'm warning you-I'm an expert!"
"Blaine," Kurt said, taking a deep breath and rubbing his temples, "we are seventeen-well, almost eighteen. We do not need foam swords and helmets."
"You may not, but I most certainly do! We're getting them. If you don't wear yours, I'll be forced to wear two helmets and have two swords, therefore making me extra badass."
Kurt snorted, "You think that would make you extra badass? You are clearly misinformed about what constitutes a badass."
Blaine stuck his tongue out at Kurt and yelled, "Catch me if you can!" before sprinting down the aisle and out of sight.
Great, Kurt thought, now I have to find him. This should be fun.
It didn't take very long though, because Kurt rounded a corner and saw Blaine inspecting bouncy balls.
"Found you!"
"Or so it may seem!" Blaine cried, then took a bouncy ball and bounced it extra high, managing to hit a light on the ceiling, which turned the light off.
"Oh God…you're going to get us kicked out of Walmart!"
"Boys," a voice from an aisle over called, "yes, they really bounce that high." A Walmart employee rounded the corner, "Now we have to talk about that light."
"Run!" Blaine screamed. Both boys took off in a mad dash.
"Where are we going?" Kurt called behind him.
"To the checkout! I need to buy our swords and helmets!"
"You're going to get us arrested! I hate you!"
"No you don't! You love me!" Blaine made a kissy face at Kurt.
They finally got to the self-checkout and Blaine rang his purchases up in record time.
"Come on, they'll be watching the exits for us, follow me!" Blaine grabbed his hand and asked, "Do you trust me?"
"Now is not the time for movie quotes, Aladdin!"
"Okay, we're going!"
Blaine led Kurt behind the customer service desk and they wound their way through returned clothes and household items, finally reaching a door to the outside. They burst through the door, chests heaving. Blaine grinned and handed Kurt a sword and a helmet.
"Now it's time for a sword fight," Blaine said, "en garde!"
"I cannot believe that I'm doing this. This is definitely proof that I love you."
"Hah! I knew it," Blaine replied, "now let's fight!"
The boys danced through the parking lot, exchanging blows from their swords and shouting taunts at each other. They weaved in and out of the cars, each trying to hit the other with their foam swords. Neither of them saw the flashing lights approaching the parking lot until the officer had pulled right next to them.
"Boys," said a voice over a loudspeaker, "put the weapons down and put your hands up."
Kurt dropped his sword right away and looked like he was about to cry. He looked over at Blaine who grinned sheepishly at him, then dropped his sword.
"Okay boys, now please approach the cruiser slowly. Keep your hands up though, okay?"
Kurt was uncontrollably shaking, and had turned white as a ghost. Blaine had a little less of his usual swagger, but still grinning.
"Can we help you, officer?" Blaine was still grinning! How could he be grinning at a time like this?
"Boys, it looks like you were having a great deal of fun," the officer chuckled, "but I'm going to have to ask you to leave the premises. You're technically loitering."
"Okay officer," Kurt squeaked out, "we'll just be on our way now. We are so sorry! We've never done anything like this before! It will never happen again!"
"Calm down, kid! It's not like I'm taking you in or anything. I will have to get your names though, just to check everything out with your parents."
"Please don't call my dad!" Kurt was in tears. "He'll kill me, and then kill Blaine! I'm going to die! First the closet thing, then this!"
The officer looked very confused by all of this, he looked at Blaine, who shrugged.
"Officer, he'll be okay, he's just a little bit of a drama queen. My name is Blaine Anderson, and this is Kurt Hummel. My parents are in Europe right now, so it would be best to just call Kurt's dad for both of us. Rest assured that Mr. Hummel won't kill us, it's just that that we're already on a short leash because of a few incidents around the Hummel house."
"Okay boys," the officer said, clearly still confused, "I'll give him a call, you boys skedaddle, okay?"
"Yes sir," Blaine replied, smiling at the officer, "we'll be on our way."
Blaine and Kurt picked up their swords and helmets, then ran to the car. Kurt got in and let out a deep breath.
"I am so dead. You are so dead. We're both going to die tonight, and it's all your fault!"
"It was totally worth it though! That was epic."
Kurt's phone started to buzz. "It's my dad…want to bet what he's calling about?"
"Just answer it, it'll be less painful if you answer it now instead of waiting until we get back to your house."
"True," Kurt said, sliding his finger across the screen, "Dad? No, I didn't get arrested! No, it wasn't because of that boy…well maybe a little! I'm grounded until I'm 30? That's so unfair! Blaine's grounded too?"
"I'm not even his kid! This blows!"
"He says your parents left him in charge of you, so yes, he can ground you." Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yes dad, we're on our way. No, we're not stopping anywhere else before we get home. Love you too. See you at home."
"So, we're grounded…"
"So grounded. You're lucky. He didn't even threaten to kill us."
"Well, it's an improvement."
They pulled up to the Hudmel house. They were both nervous about what they would find inside. Neither of them wanted to face the wrath of Burt. Blaine went over to Kurt's door and opened it for him. After Kurt stood up, Blaine pulled Kurt into a hug and kissed him.
"Well, what was that about?" Kurt looked puzzled.
"Just in case your dad does decide to kill me, I wanted a goodbye kiss."
"Loser. We're going to be fine. Don't worry," Kurt grabbed his hand, "courage. Remember?"
"I know you're out there," they hear Burt call gruffly, "and if you're not in the house in ten seconds, I will tack an extra five years onto your sentence!"
"Well, it's been nice knowing you," Blaine gulped, "let's go, he sounded serious!"
"Hey, at least he didn't have a gun out."
"You told me he didn't actually have a gun collection!"
Kurt silenced Blaine with a kiss, and they marched hand in hand into the house, pondering the cruel fate that awaited them.