Title: The Wind Beneath My Wings
Author: svhsbandgeek07
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the Song 'The Wind Beneath My Wings"
Summary: Ron's Thoughts as Harry fights for his life after the final battle.
Warnings: SLASH and character death
A/N: I said it once and I'll say it again. This is SLASH. I don't want to get any flames because of this. I said it twice and it's not my fault if you can't read.
I have no Beta so all mistakes are mine so sorry and bare with me.
The Wind Beneath My Wings
By Felicia Gross
Complete unsuppressed fear is what I felt as I watched Harry run head on to fight Voldermort. Part of me wanted to run over there and try and talk some sense into my best friend. Then take him somewhere far away where no harm would come to him. I know that it is no use. This is his destiny and he must finish it. If only he didn't have such a dangerous destiny. So I was stuck keeping all other death eaters away from his duel with Voldermort. I became more worried with each passing second as the duel progressed. Harry was able to block most of the curses but there was still a lot that hit him. Every time this happened I became sick with worry. I turned away so that I could put my focus on the battle and keep not only myself but also Harry alive. With a mighty battle war cry Harry shot one final curse that left Voldermort on the ground dead. Voldermort, I shudder at the thought of him, no longer in fear but in hate. He is the one person who had consumed our lives for so long. For that past five years, we all ate, slept, and breathed war. I was brought to my knees in tears at the shear thought of Harry dying in the epic battle that was sure to come.
Now it is was finally over, thankfully, with Harry on top. We were allowed a few moments of peace before we were informed that his condition is less than perfect. My stomach drops and I demand to know if he is alright. The auror tells us to follow him to the hospital and all would be explained there. Once we got there a healer came to talk to us and said that there he had been hit with many dark curses. So they had to get the dark magic out of his system, along with several other things. It had been brought to their attention that he was under weight, most likely from stress from the war. Just one more thing to put on the list of reasons this war was slowly killing him. So now I sit here with Hermione next to me in the hospital completely helpless to the fact that my best friend is once again fighting for his life on a cold operation table.
It
must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on
your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way,
you always walked a step behind.
So
I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all
the strength.
A beautiful face without a name -- for so long,
a
beautiful smile to hide the pain.
I sat next to his bed and just stared. For the first time in a long time he looked very peaceful. My greatest wish is for him to find happiness. However I'm not sure if this will ever happen. I might be wrong. Maybe now that the war was over he could do so. I talked to the healer earlier and he said that Harry should make a full recovery. That made me happy. It was like I was holding my breath ever since the war stared and now I can finally breathe. The doctor said that Harry mostly just needs rest to recuperate from five long years of war. I felt sick as I thought about what had happened to him. He had been under the
cruciatus Curse for so long that it had messed up his internal organs. There was some internal bleeding. Infections from all of the dark magic his body had to handle in a short period of time. Thankfully, the potions to fix that were coursing though his veins at this very moment. They hope that it will work. As it is with everything nobody ever knows for sure. Tomorrow the healers will see what was fixed and what they will have to do the muggle way. Also, he was stabbed in the leg and in the stomach. The blade had hit a nerve. At best he will have to use a cane the rest of his life. At worse he will never walk again. I hope that is not true. Harry is so independent that he would have serious problems needing help with extremely small tasks like getting in and out of bed.
At the moment though he was sleeping, finding a few moments of peace and happiness. I want him to be able to find this when he is awake but I'm not sure that he can. That none of us can. This war has stripped us of all of our innocence. Our childhood notions that we are invincible and everything will be all right in the end. It was replaced by hurt, pain, and death. I'm not sure if I will ever be the same again. However I do know this that the soul heals in ways that the body doesn't understand. That is what I hope for Harry.
Did
you ever know that you're my hero,
and ev'rything I would like to
be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind
beneath my wings.
He is finally awake. I am glad. It means that he is getting better. I sit across from him on his bed. We are playing chess. This small act of normalcy sends the both of us directly back to our childhood. When we would sit in the Gryffindor Common Room and play chess. Life was so much simpler back then. He is losing like always.
"What will you do now that Voldermort is gone?" I ask him.
He shrugs and says "I'm not really sure. I never thought I would live to see the end of this war."
"I always knew you could do it Harry" I tell him seriously.
There is a long pause the he says, "Maybe I will get a home in the country where I can relax for a while."
"It sounds great. You would deserve it more than anyone," I tell him.
"Then maybe I would open some kind of shop in muggle London. I could start up my relationship with Ginny again" He said excitedly.
I loved seeing him so happy. "She would like that and I could help in you store." I said confidently.
"Yeah, I could be just like old times. And we will be best friends for ever. Even though that sounds kind of corny" He finishes.
"I don't think it is corny at all" I tell him. I pause then say "I hope you know that I love you like a little brother never had Harry"
"I know" he says simply and I am completely content with his answer.
It
might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in
my heart.
I
want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it,
I would
be nothing without you.
The next day when I go to the hospital to see Harry he is on the bed crying. I quickly hurry over to him to see what is wrong cursing the oblivious healers the whole way. It's their job to make Harry comfortable and he is in here crying and they are nowhere to be seen. I put my hand on his back and asked him what is wrong. This seems to be when he notices me for the first time. He starts crying harder and launches himself at me. I wrap my arms around him in an attempt to calm him down as he started giving his mumbled apologies. I couldn't figure out what in the world he needed to apologize for. He was confusing sometimes.
"I'm sorry" He sobbed.
"What exactly are you even apologizing for?" I ask him. He shakes his head on my shoulder and continues to sob. I wrap my arms around him tighter. What on earth could get him go worked up like this. ""You know you can tell me anything Harry? I won't laugh at you or anything. I tell him softly." He shakes his head again. I realize that I won't get any more information out of him. I just hold him as I hum softly until his breathing evens out and I know he has fallen asleep. I lay him down on his bed and pull his blankets up around him. I get up to leave but before I place a small kiss on his forehead.
I know that I am starting to feel things for Harry. Things I shouldn't be feeling. He's not gay and neither am I. Not to mention that he is my best friend. I can't stop these forbidden feelings for him. I want to but at the same time I don't. I know I am falling love with him but I am afraid. Not just of what he and the rest of the world would think. I am more afraid of him rejecting me. I can't lose him. I do truly believe that he is love with Ginny. If confronting him with this would scare him off. I can't live like that. I would rather us just be friends that nothing at all. I just want him to be happy, even If it's not with me.
Did
you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to
be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind
beneath my wings.
There was utter chaos when I walked in the next day. As I ran to Harry's room my heart was beating a mile per second. I had this incredible dread in my heart for what's going on. When I entered his room doctors and nurses were running around connecting him to machines, saying healing spells, and forcing potions down his throat. I feel terrified and confused as I watch people run around. He was fine yesterday. What had happened in the short period of time I had been gone. I walked up to a nurse and asked what was going on. She wouldn't tell me anything and kicked me out of the room. I was a little disgruntled but thought it was best to leave them to do their work and make Harry better. I sat there for hours. Waiting on someone and anyone to tell me that Harry was alright. I refused to leave. Others came and left. They told me to do the same but I ignored them. I couldn't just leave. Not without knowing he was okay. The others didn't understand. I am in love with him. What normal person leaves the person they love while they are fighting for their life? I'm not going to do it. I don't know how long I sat there. I did until a Healer came out and told me that Harry had stabilized and would be fine and to go home and get some rest. I didn't want to but I did anyway. I trust the healers to keep Harry alive until I returned. I couldn't wait until Harry was out of here. It was much too stressful.
Did
I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I
wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
for
you are the wind beneath my wings,
'cause you are the wind beneath
my wings.
I walked in Harry's room just to stop dead in my tracks. The room was vacant of everything except a bed. I stepped outside and looked for a nurse with a bad feeling in my stomach. Once I found one I asked where Harry was. She seemed nervous for a second before saying that she would go get his healer to explain it to me. I was led to a private room and I sat down in one of the chairs. I was shaking like a leaf and sweating horribly. I don't understand what is going on. The doctor said he was going to be alright. He said that he had stabilized and he was going to be fine. The doctor comes in to the room and sits down next to me. He rubs his head as if he has a headache. I ask him what's going on. He looks at me sadly and the one and only thing running through my head is my prays.
Please god, let him say they moved him to a different room. Please let him not be gone. Be dead.
"Harry died last night. His heart gave out. His body just couldn't do it anymore. I'm so sorry. We did all that we could. He died during his sleep and he felt no pain. He just went to sleep and never woke up. We found this note next to his bed. It's addressed to you. I'm so sorry" He finished as he handed me the letter.
I wasn't really listening after the first two words I couldn't hear anything. There was a ringing in my ears and I felt numb all over. I slid out of my chair and into the floor and started to sob as I held onto that letter as if it was my only lifeline, my only connection to Harry. This can't be happening. I don't believe it. It can't be true. Not Harry. Harry is so strong almost invincible. He can't have died. He never dies. After everything we have been through. He has been bitten by a poisons snake, fallen fifty feet from the air, dueled Voldermort on countless occasions, and even defeated him, the worst Dark lord in ever. After all of that it is very hard to believe that something as small as a stab to the stomach would be the thing to kill him. I looked at the doctor and told him that I would not believe it until I saw it and demanded to see his body. He nodded his head solemnly and said knew that I would say that. I got up off the floor and followed him down to the morgue of the hospital.
He pulled out Harry's body and uncovered it. I looked down at Harry's body and tears started to fall down my face as I embraced his cold dead body. How could I have left him last night? I knew deep down that I shouldn't leave and yet I did. I know I am a horrible best friend. I know I should have stopped him. I defiantly know I should have done something. I know that he wasn't supposed to die. But most of all I know I should have saved him.
Oh,
the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath
my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you,
you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind
beneath my wings.
I sit there numb all over as people talk about what a great person Harry was. I was surrounded by all of Harry's close friends and family. He would be shocked to see how many people came to pay their respects to Harry. Of course, people who don't know Harry was not allowed to come. The will be memorial services all over in honor of him but his actual funeral was for only friends and family. I only half listen as people talk about him. I still can't believe it. I half expect him to jump out of the casket and laugh at all for being stupid enough to think he actually died. I know deep down that this won't actually happen because he is gone. He left me alone to go on without a best friend. Without the man I loved. He was too young to die. He had barely had a chance to live. Once he is in the ground I continue to sit there as people begin to leave. I sit there until I am the only one left. I reach into my pocket and pull out the little letter left for me at the hospital from Harry. It was my last connection to Harry. I began reading it for the last time.
Dear Ron,
I don't know if I will ever see you again and I wanted you to know something. I just could stand the Idea of leaving without telling you this. Ron, I love you. I always have and I always will. It happened that day on the train first year. It scared me at first. I soon realized that I loved you and couldn't change it. I realize love is not gay straight, bi, black, or white. Love is just love. I hope that you won't hate for these feelings but I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for you. Sometimes I don't think we said it enough but the truth is that I do love you. You were loving and compassionate towards me when no one else had been. My life has in no way been easy but you made it bearable to be here. You have saved me in more ways than you could ever imagine. You were the one to keep me going. If I was a bird then you would be the wind beneath my wings. You are my best friend, my brother, my savoir, my hero, and my secret love. I only ask one thing and that is not to be sad that I am gone but rejoice in the time that we had together. We will still be best friends forever. Never forget me.
I love you,
Harry
A single tear slid down my face as I closed the letter and walked over to the gravestone it read.
Harry James Potter
July 31, 1980 - May 15, 2002
Son, Brother, and Friend
He touched the lives of every person he
Ever came into contact with.
He was greatly loved and will be missed.
I slowly sat the letter and a single white rose on the gravestone and said, "I could never forget you. You will always be with me. I just hope that maybe now you will find some peace. You know what Harry? You had it all wrong. I'm not the wind beneath your wings. You are the wind beneath my wings. Goodbye Harry"
Fly,
fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the
sky.
Thank you, thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath
my wings.