Disclaimer: As usual, because I am broke, I own nothing.

Antonio the Tomato

Lovino slowly made his way through the mall, taking in all of the stores. He was trying to find the perfect present for his boyfriend, Antonio. After about an hour of mindlessly walking in and out of stores, he still had not found the right gift. 'I will find it, but god dammit, what does that tomato bastard like?' Lovino questioned to himself. And then, just out of the blue, there it was. The vibrant red caught his eye and he smirked as he went into the shop to pay for his finding.

~le time skip, because… because le time skip~

Lovino made his way home with a double- bagged bag in the passenger seat. It was the perfect welcome home present for his tomato loving boyfriend. Antonio had been in America the past three weeks for business purposes. 'I just hope he didn't become some YOLO Swaging dumbass. God if he did… I will beat his happy go lucky ass.' He thought to himself. Lovino turned into the drive way, parked his car, and made his way into the house. As he was coming through the front door, he was tackled by none other than the aforementioned boyfriend.

"Yo! Lovi! WASSSSSSUUUUPPP?!"

Lovino crumpled into himself. Three fucking weeks… three fucking weeks and Antonio comes back a fucktard. 'Why? What have I done, oh gracious god. To deserve this shit?'

At that moment Antonio catches a glimpse of bright red poking out of the bag Lovino was carrying.

"Swiggity- Swag- what's- in- the- bag?" The cheery Spaniard chimed. Lovino looked up from the place he had crumpled onto the floor. He smirked at Antonio.

"Oh, this? I bought this for you as a welcome home present. Why don't you go try it on?" Lovino asked in a very seductive manner. Antonio smirked back. 'Getting' laid tonight!' the bright Spaniard thought to himself as he inwardly pumped his fist out of excitement. He grabbed the bag from Lovino and sprinted for the bathroom. The faster he got changed, the faster he was getting' laid.

~le another time skip, because I fucking said so.~

Antonio looked in the mirror. 'No way am I going out like this' he said to himself.

"Come on out Antonio, I want to see how you look." Lovino banged on the bathroom door.

"I don't wanna Lovi! I look so LAME!"

"Quit talking like a dumbass and get out here!" Lovino screamed. He waited for a minute before his eyes feasted on his boyfriend when the door was wide open. 'This' he thought. 'This is perfect.'

Antonio stood there embarrassed. Easting a tomato was one thing, being a tomato was another. Yes, Antonio stood before his boyfriend in a tomato costume.

"The package said sexy tomato Lovi, but I don't feel sexy. I feel frumpy and awkward." He admitted. "I feel totally unawesome."

"No, I would eat you." commented Lovino. He walked toward Antonio and stared lustfully into his eyes. Circling his arms around his tomato boyfriend, Lovino's lips found their way to Antonio's neck. The taller of the two let out a loud moan as his lover attacked his neck with bites and kisses. After a few minutes of these ministrations, Antonio realized that he did not have the upper hand in this sexy time. 'Aw Hell Naw!' Antonio reached up and grabbed Lovino's curl.

"Antonio! You god damn asshole!" yelled the shorter. "What the fuck?! You know I hate that!" Antonio was unfazed by this. He gave his lover one of his trademark smiles. He pushed Lovino onto the ground and got on top of him. Finally having the upper hand, Antonio latched is mouth onto Lovino's neck. 'Gonna leave the biggest hickey I possibly can' the Spaniard thought to himself as he sucked harshly on his prize. His Lovi moaned and gripped his lover's hair.

Antonio started to pull at the hem of the smaller's shirt, pulling it upwards and over Lovino's lust covered face. Antonio then ran his hands over a nicely tanned chest. He tweaked the pert nipples and ran his fingers over Lovino's ribs, making him shiver. The Spaniard then slowly moved his hands downwards until he hit a belt buckle. He undid the buckle and made quick work of the fly. He slowly pushed the offending pants off of his lover.

Once the pants were off, Antonio ran his hands up and down the Italian's legs. He caressed his Lovi's thighs and groped his ass. 'God, he has got such a rockin' body and cheerful one thought to himself.

As Antonio was feeling him up, Lovino splayed his hands all over the Spaniard's arms.

"Antonio, I like the costume, but do you think you could take it off now?" Lovino asked his a sweet and seductive voice.

Antonio couldn't be quicker. He was faster than lightning; everything on his body was gone in five seconds. He smirked as he leaned back over his lover and pulled at the band of Lovino's boxers. He kissed the Italian as he tore off the red boxers the shorter was wearing.

Both of them were pretty hard. Both knew that they just had to stop with the foreplay now. They had to get to business.

"Suck." Antonio said as he put three fingers up to Lovino's mouth. The smaller took the digits into his mouth and lubricated them thoroughly. As the Italian was busy with Antonio's fingers, the cheery Spaniard reached and grabbed Lovino's 'package'. He stroked it as his lover was busy working his fingers nicely.

When Lovino decided that the digits in his mouth were lubed up enough, he popped them out of his mouth. Antonio wasted no time; he brought the three fingers down to Lovi's hole. He inserted one finger and wriggled it around. Making just enough room for the second finger, Antonio added it. He scissored them for a moment before just adding the third finger. He was getting impatient. He needed to be in Lovi now. He stretched the hole as he listened to the velvety moans of his lover.

"Swiggity- Swick- here- comes- my- dick." Antonio said as he pulled out his fingers and braced himself to plunge into Lovino's heat.

As Lovino had it though, he was pissed that Antonio was being a dumbass again. He moved his ass as the taller thrusted, but didn't make it into the hole. The Spaniard looked up at the Italian looking confused and a bit pissed. What was up with Lovino? He always let Antonio in when they had their sexy times.

Lovino pushed his boyfriend off of him and he went into the bathroom.

"I am not having some YOLO Swaging asshat enter in my hole. Learn to speak decent or no sex for you." Lovino said angrily as he slammed the door to the bathroom and started a cold shower.

Antonio just sat there disappointed.

That was the last time he was going to America for business.

A/N: BHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, that really sucked, I just needed something to do.