Author's Note: Please don't kill me. xP I had way too much fun with this story! It's just...humor. Deal with it. It's funny. But I had to add some fluff at the end. I was quite happy with how it turned out. Sorry if you were expecting deep, serious stories from me. xP I couldn't help it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. Know why? If I owned Death Note, I'd put Near and Misa in a room together. And let them die. In agony. At least, Near would be in agony. WHO in their right mind would want to be stuck in a room with Misa-Misa?
Warning: Pottymouths, references to sex, etc. You should know what to expect from my stories by now.
"Hey, Matt?" Mello sprawled across their blanket in the heat of the summer sun, closing his eyes against the gentle breeze that stirred the loose hairs poking from his ponytail.
"Yeah, Mello?" The redhead leaned against the shade tree, tapping away at his Gameboy Advance, flipping through music on his iPod.
"Do we have a song?"
"What do you mean?" Matt glanced up for a moment, catching the dreamy expression on the blonde's face.
"Well, you know. On the movies, the couples always have a song. Do we?" Mello opened one eye, turning over to his side.
"Haha, not yet. Want me to think of one?" Matt snorted, spinning the circle on his iPod until he found a certain list.
"Would you?" Mello flipped to his stomach, glad to expose his back to the waves of summer heat. There was something about heat that turned him on.
"Of course. Our song is the slammin' screen door! Sneakin' out late, tappin' on your window!" Matt belted out with a heavy southern drawl.
"Oh, HELL NO. Matt, I hate country music. You know that." Mello crinkled his nose at the laughing redhead.
"Sorry, sorry," Matt laughed, showing off his white teeth. "I couldn't help it. What about this? This is what I brought you, this you can keep. This is what I brought, you may forget me. I promise to depart, just promise one thing: Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep."
"No, the fangirls say that's for Light and L," Mello said, biting into a fresh Hershey bar. "Ours needs to be better than that."
"Hmm…what about this one? In Catholic School, as vicious as Roman rule, I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black…"
"Matt. Cut the shit, dude. Why does everyone fucking think my whole life is about Catholics? The rosary was fifteen dollars, and the leather choker was forty. Give me a break!" He angrily flicked the chain hanging from his neck.
"What would the fangirls think of that, Mel?" Matt winked. "I've got birds in my ears and a devil on my shoulder…"
"That's about a girl, Matt. Not only that, but it seems like the song's about a prostitute. At least, that's what I get from it." Mello pointed his chocolate bar at Matt like a gun. "Try again."
"You're so hard to please, Mello. No, ain't never gonna quit. Ain't nothing wrong with it, just acting like we're animal. No, no matter where we go 'cause everybody knows we're just a couple animals."
"That's more like it, but that's not the song for us," Mello snorted.
"Come on, I love this one! It reminds me of something. You know, from June? You're beside me on the seat, got your hand between my knees. You control how fast we go by just how hard you want to squeeze. It's hard to steer when you're breathing in my ear, but I've got both hands on the wheel while you've got both hands on my gears."
"Matt! Not that one!" Mello blushed, remembering that one time…
"Fine, what about this? 'Cause you're everywhere to me! When I close my eyes, it's you I see."
"Jesus Christ, Matt, I didn't know your voice could get that high. Stop singing like a chick. Be serious for a minute."
"Since when have I ever been serious?" Matt winked.
"Good point."
"What about this song? Oh my love, please don't cry. I'll wash my bloody hands…"
"STOP! STOP! Oh Father God Holy Mary Jesus Christ, STOP! No Good Charlotte. No way in hell!" Mello lunged at Matt, pinning him to the tree.
"Christ! Stop being so picky, Mello. I'm running out of songs on my iPod," he wiggled under the blonde's strong grip. "Mind letting go?"
"Well, get some better music. Damn it," Mello swore before releasing the gamer.
"Shit…what about this one? Come and take a walk with me, where the angels fear to tread. Kiss the flame, feel the pain in the furnace of our love."
"That sounds like some gothic chick," Mello eyed him carefully. "You aren't into that stuff, are you?"
"But it's really hot! I'll hurt you, you'll love me. I'll scratch you, I'll cut you. You'll kiss me, then miss me. I'll laugh at your torment. I'll have you, and own you. Be hard and cold to you. I'll be your dark angel. I'll be your worst nightmare."
"Still sounds gothic, even if it is pretty sexy. Try another one."
"You're a picky bitch, aren't you?"
"Call me that again, and I will slit your throat," Mello smirked, licking bits of chocolate from his fingertips.
"Haha, all right. You're beautiful, you're beautiful!" Matt ducked as Mello hurled a heavy rock at his goggled face.
"Fuck no. Go suck someone else's cock if you're going to spew that shit. Is that really on your iPod?" Mello raised one eyebrow, eyeing the iPod like it was poison.
"Hell no!" Matt snorted, "I just wanted to see how you'd react to it."
"You're really pissing me off," Mello glared.
"Hey, here's one that reminds me of you! You wear me out, but it's all right now. Let's go home, and get stoned! We can end up making love instead of misery. Go home, and get stoned! 'Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me."
"Matt, you're really pissing me off," Mello repeated. "If we fucked right now, it would be the best sex you've ever had. That's how mad you're making me."
"…Is that an offer?"
"…No."
"…Damn. I cry each night! My tears are for you. My tears are all in vain. I hope and I pray that maybe, someday, you'll be back in my arms once again!"
"Is that…Puppy Love? Why the hell is that on your playlist?" Mello reached for the iPod, but Matt yanked it back before the blonde's fingertips could reach it.
"I like it. It's old school." Matt flipped down the playlist. "Here's one! Kiss Kiss Fall in Love! Kizukeba itsudemo soba ni irukeredo Honto wa kirai? Suki? Mousou na no?"
"How the hell did Ouran High School Host Club get in here? Matt, control yourself!" Mello sighed, irritated, and flicked a blade of grass at the redhead.
"Sorry, sorry! But you've got to admit, those twins are hot," Matt licked his lips slyly.
"Hm. Well, I suppose so. But Kaoru is mine."
"And Hikaru is mine," Matt winked. "What about this song? Kiss shining hitomi ni kuchizukete toke dasu hanabira mo jama ni naru. Make me shining! Irozuku shigeki no hate ni kagayakihajimeta maboroshi."
"Isn't that from Gravitation? Damn it, Matt, stop stealing songs from other anime! It's really pissing me off!"
"Aw, Mello, everything is pissing you off," The gamer pouted, spinning the circle on his iPod randomly, "We're just shitting around. I already know what song is our song. I've always known. It's the song that really makes me want to be near you."
"Well fuck, Matt, if you've known this whole time…which song is it?"
"Not yet, let me sing a few more first. I'm having fun," He grinned, glancing down his playlist.
"Well, I'm not," the blonde pouted. "These songs fucking suck. I can't believe you've got them on your iPod."
"Hey! This is my favorite playlist. Am I the reason you breathe, or am I the reason you cry? Always, Always, Always, Always, Always, Always, I just can't live without you! I love you, I hate you, I can't get around you. I breathe you, I taste you, I can't live without you."
"Matt…that's obviously not it. Come on, which song is it?"
"Just a few more? Please? I love singing to you."
"No, just tell me which one is our song." The blonde's patience was waning rapidly.
"In a minute. I wanna stand with you on a mountain. I wanna bathe with you in the sea. I wanna lay like this forever, until the sky falls down over me."
"That's an old one," Mello sighed, "I remember it from back at Wammy's. Who was it that sang it all the time?"
"Linda. She'd sing it in the common room while she painted."
"Right, she was always after that fuckin' Near with that song. Come on, Matt, tell me our song now."
"Chill out, Mello. I'll tell you that one last. I'm just scrolling down my playlist, anyways. I've had these planned out for a long time. The list keeps growing."
"What kind of list is that?"
"…My kind. Hey, this one always makes me laugh. It's not OUR song, it's YOUR song! You're sweet like chocolate, boy. Sweet like chocolate. You bring me so much joy. Sweet like chocolate."
"Damn it, Matt! Now I want a chocolate bar."
"…I've got two in my bag. Take 'em. I was expecting you to get hungry."
"Thanks, I guess. Hey Matt, what's this playlist called?"
"My playlist?" Matt fumbled, blushing gently.
"No, dumbass, your mother," Mello snorted, "Yes, your playlist."
"…Thinking Of You."
"…"
"…Yeah. Anyways." Matt blushed again, shifting uncomfortably.
"Now can I hear our song?" Mello whispered.
"Yeah, I guess so. This is the last song on my list. My favorite. We'll do it all, everything, on our own. We don't need anything or anyone. If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world? I don't quite know how to say how I feel. Those three words are said too much. They're not enough. If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world? Forget what we're told before we get too old. Show me a garden that's bursting into life. Let's waste time chasing cars around our heads. I need your grace to remind me to find my own. If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world? Forget what we're told before we get too old. Show me a garden that's bursting into life. All that I am, all that I ever was, is here in your perfect eyes. They're all I can see. I don't know where. Confused about how as well. Just know that these things will never change for us at all. If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?"
"…That's our song. That's our song! Matt, how did you find that?"
"I don't know. But when I heard it, I wanted you more than anything else in the world. You're my world, Mello. Every time I hear that song, I want to be near you."
"Matt, I don't know what to say. 'I love you' just isn't enough."
"If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?"
"All that I am, all that I ever was, is here in your perfect eyes. They're all I can see."
"I love you, Mello."
"You're mine, Matty."