She meets them at the age of nine.
She meets Raven first; the shy little blonde girl sits alone in the cafeteria on her first day at the local high school. She knows how it feels to sit alone because she does the same. She's the poor little foster girl.
Poor little Susannah whose parents didn't want her and lives at the children's home. The other children regard her as a curiosity, a freak. They act like they'll catch something if the sit near her. Even at her age she knows that people can be so very cruel to those they consider different. She watches Raven stare wide eyed at the noise and the chaos around her in fear and trepidation. It's like she's afraid someone is going to start pointing and laughing at her.
She feels pity for someone else for the first time in a long time. Usually she's far too concerned with pitying herself but in Raven she can see a kindred spirit so she gather's all her courage and walks over to the new girl and holds out a hand.
It's all worth it when the girl smiles back.
…
Raven is her first real friend and she's excited when she takes her to her house to meet her brother in the summer holidays. She's in awe of the house of course its intimidating in size but somehow it feels welcoming.
Charles Xavier is a year older than she is and attends a boarding school far away. He's some kind of genius Raven tells her and so she builds up an idea in her head of what a genius would look like but he's perfectly ordinary in appearance and he smiles with his eyes as much as his mouth.
She spends every day she can at their house after that and the three of them quickly become inseparable. Even when Charles goes away to school again, she and Raven write him letters and he writes back.
She finds out about the mutations almost by accident. She gets so used to walking in to the house without knocking that one day she walks into the kitchen and Raven is blue. Charles comes running downstairs seconds later and she sits heavily in her chair while they explain to her what they are and what they can do and beg her no to tell.
Of Course she thinks because quite frankly it's the most spectacular secret ever and Charles beams at her.
…
Time passes quickly after that and at sixteen she walks around in motorcycle jackets and ripped jeans and does her best to get herself, Charles and Raven into as much trouble as possible. She picks locks to get the answers to a pop quiz, breaks curfew frequently, climbs over locked gates to get into the park at night. One day she hacks off most of her long brown hair in a fit of boredom.
Raven thinks it's a great laugh and usually lets herself get dragged along. Charles shakes his head at her in fond amusement and tries without any real effort to get her to stop. She's glad of this because she hates to disappoint him. She falls short of any real delinquency and she doesn't smoke because cigarettes are gross.
She looks at Charles differently now, has done ever since puberty started to kick in. Charles is fairly adorable with that dark hair and blue eyes and he's one of the two people she's ever found the capacity to love. They're amazing these wacky two with their fantastic gifts and they include her, invited her in to their little family and she can never repay that gratitude she feels that almost chokes her.
She never feels resentful that she's normal, isn't jealous of their gifts because she's seen the fear in their eyes when they talk about being discovered and she has no desire to feel ever feel like that. Plus she's enough of an outcast as is thank you very much.
…
Charles notice's she's a girl the summer he graduates from high school. He finishes the week before they do which is a complete injustice. She tells Raven there is no way in hell she's going to something as lame as a high school dance especially as Raven is a year behind her and can't go with her.
Charles can go with you Raven tells her and she laughs knowing that Charles felt much the same way about these sorts of things as she does. Raven pouts at both of them and stresses the importance of not missing out on a rite of passage for young people.
The result of course is that she waits by the front gate of the children's home in a green dress that matches her eyes. It's cold but it's better than waiting inside where all the other kids stare and smirk. Charles picks her up and, she realises that Raven is the best friend ever, when his mouth drops open just a little at the sight of her in anything other than jeans.
They don't stay at the dance for long because dances really are lame, but she gets to dance with him and he smells fantastic and she could swear the air sparks between them. They head back to the mansion and collapse on the sofa, her shoes are killing her and she kicks them off. Raven has long gone to bed and they sit there and talk, about their lives, the future, everything. They liberate a bottle of his stepfather's whiskey and drink till the early hours.
The fire dwindles casting everything in orangey light and her head swims pleasantly and the conversation falls silent. She catches his eye and they just stare at each other for a long moment. She still can't remember who moved first but she winds up with her hands in his hair and he moves on top of her.
They both lose their virginity that night. It was perfect and right and she was fortunate to have had it. Awkwardness takes over in the morning and the concept of hanging everything she and Charles already had on a romance scares the shit out of her so she tells him it can't happen again. He agrees probably having picked her reasons out of head and tells her he doesn't want to risk it either. They both smile and things return to normal. They don't tell Raven about it, it just feels too weird.
…
They lose their mother and stepfather 3 years later. He flies home from Oxford and she, a bartender and struggling musician, drops everything for them to stand in the rain and hold their hands while some priest tries to be comforting as he talks about people he'd actually never met and falls very short.
Charles drinks too much that night and she stays sober and pats him on the arm. He'd never really had an ideal relationship with his mother but he'd still loved her the way most children love their parents even if they don't like them. He sucks her in, begs with his baby blue eyes for comfort, so she gives in takes him to bed. She wishes she was strong enough to resist but can't help but feel glad that he's put the ghosts to rest for the moment.
…
Her inability to say no to Charles Xavier grows stronger. He and his sister still manage to tug her close even when she's on the other side of the Atlantic to them. She visits them shortly before Charles finishes his PhD and notices that Raven has started to look at Charles the same way she does. She feels guilty that she'd never told her the truth and guiltier still when she feels a little bit glad that Charles looks at the blonde the same way he always has, as a sister.
She's not jealous when Charles sees other girls while she's there. They've never been exclusive and she has no claim over him, besides she's had boyfriends herself in the meantime.
She tells herself not to sleep with him again and then does so anyway because it's Charles and he's her best friend and she's always been a little bit in love with him.
She hugs Raven goodbye and waves to them again as she heads of home.
In one lifetime it's the last time she ever sets eyes on them.
In another it's almost three decades until they meet again.
…
She calls to congratulate him on graduating but no-one picks up. She doesn't suspect anything then, just thinks he's out partying and they'll call her back. Raven will if nothing else.
So she calls again the next day. And the next.
On the seventh day she she's hyperventilating thinking the worst. They're dead or have been kidnapped. Lying in the hospital in a coma. She calls Oxford again and again, goes round to the mansion to check if they've returned there. They have dropped off the face of the earth and she is alone. Again. For the first time in twelve years she feels that crushing loneliness she felt as a child.
Six weeks after that first missed call she sits in the doctor's office and cries as he tells her the news.
Pregnant.
The walls close in on her the room spins and she's going to be sick. She can't do this, there's no way she can do this. Not without them. Her family.
Dark thoughts creep in, the idea that Charles had already known and that's why he's not answering that's why they're gone. Or that they'd finally had enough of her and had abandoned her like her parents had. She ignores these thoughts because they'd promised her. Promised it would always be the three of them against the world.
She makes a choice that day. Stares into the mirror and tells herself to get a grip. She could do anything she damn well set her mind too. The dark thoughts persist and she shoves them into a box in the corner of her mind along with all her memories of Charles and Raven and swears to do her best to move on.
Three days after that she packs up her life and takes a job at a bakery in New York. She's always been good with food. The phone rings as she picks up the last box and she glances at it briefly. Probably for the new tenant she thinks, call back tomorrow pal, and closes the door behind her.
In one lifetime that is the end of the story.
In another the story has just closed a chapter.
…
Its ten years before she opens her Charles and Raven box again. In 1973 she stands frozen in her kitchen a dish dripping on the floor, a dishrag in the other hand.
Raven is on TV. Her sweet former best friend is holding a gun at the President. A crazy mutant terrorist is on the ground behind her and she watches as Raven lowers the gun and pulls off the guys helmet and tell Charles who she can't see that he's all his. The guy gets to his feet and shifts a metal pylon before flying off to God knows where. Lunatic.
She sits down for a moment so she can breathe.
"Mommy."
She glances across the table. The twins are ten now and they have ceased bickering to stare at her in concern. Jack is dark haired with green eyes and Gracie has lighter brown hair and blue eyes that hurt to look at sometimes. Neither has shown the slightest inclination that they might be a mutant and for one second she thanks whatever higher power was involved in that because the world is about to go crazy.
Her son returns to his motorcycle magazine and her daughter blinks down at her science homework. What a mixture they are she thinks, of the both of us.
The world does indeed go quite mad.
…
The next decade passes relatively peacefully for the West household which is something to be grateful for as she watches another crazy mutant literally destroy the world. She hears Charles' voice in her head and she staggers in the supermarket at the shock of it.
Pain rips through every inch of her as she's forced to confront his continued existence properly at long last. She's angry and confused, betrayed and hurt and it burns. She curls up in a ball and cries for the first time in years. She is still in love with him, has never married. Just in case.
A fool's dream. And she is a fool.
…
She picks herself up again. That's what she does, what she's best at and she's used to it now.
In 1985 she watches Gracie get married and this time her tears are of joy. David is lovely, will look after her little girl. Jack gives his sister away beaming. He shows no interest in marriage at all; actually he shows no interest in women at all and she knows why. She is his mother after all but she will wait for him to tell her.
Tragedy strikes five years later and she finds herself at another funeral. This time she holds her granddaughters hand as the little girl asks for her mummy and daddy and she finds herself guardian to the poor orphaned child.
This is grief. Stronger more dangerous than anything in the world. The waves of it threaten to pull them all under and cast them away but they cling to each other as best they can. Jack visits more often now, knowing how short life can be.
Shortly after Alice turns six she hears screams coming from her granddaughter's bedroom. She finds the little girl with her hands clamped over her ears and a gut wrenchingly familiar expression on her face.
In one life she'd sat with her, calmed her down and spent the rest of her life trying to remember how telepathy worked and how to help someone with it.
In this life, she picks up the sobbing child, packs her into the car and drives to Westchester.
…
I swallowed all my pride and hurt and buzzed the intercom. A friendly voice asked me if he could help.
"Susannah West, here to see Charles Xavier."
"Does he know you're coming?"
"No. But he'll see me."
He'd better be willing to see me. Betrayal settles in my chest, turns cold and hard. He can't hurt me again and I shove all emotion as far away from me as possible.
I walk through the front door, Alice cradled in my arms and Raven, blue and scaly is running down the stairs towards me. The sight of her causes an ache in her chest of long forgotten fondness but I keep my face cold, eyes steely and voice flat.
"My granddaughter needs some help." I tell my oldest friend.
She flinches at my tone of voice and opens her mouth. I have no desire to hear what she has to say and I spin towards the sound of someone approaching.
The first thing I notice is the wheelchair, the second is that he has no hair. A little vindictively I consider that he has not aged well and then feel awful for thinking it.
"Susannah" He says. Just my name, that's all and my knees want to give way in this hallway surrounded by my past on both sides. Raven moves to stand next to him and collectively we stare at each other.
"Grandma" Alice clutches at my sleeve and turns her head to catch sight of her Grandfather for the first time in her life. She looks just like Gracie, the spitting image and so she blinks tear filled blue eyes at these strangers. Charles' eyes.
They both notice this at the same time. Raven actually gasped aloud. Charles just stares in amazement and then wonder and he reaches for her. I put her down on her feet and she stumbles towards his outstretched hands trusting him on sight. He places his hands on either side of her head and she calms as the voices pause for the moment.
We head to Charles' study for some privacy. Alice falls asleep on the couch exhausted.
"Is she…"
I interrupt him "Telepathic? Or were you going to ask if she was related to you?"
"Both." Raven breathes.
I nod, answering both questions simultaneously.
Love flickers across Charles face when he glances back at the sleeping child. That's how fast you love your own flesh and blood. Instantaneously.
I stare at a spot somewhere above Charles' head "I gave birth to twins in the March of 1963. A boy and a girl. Alice is my daughter's daughter."
It takes Charles a moment to speak and when he does his voice is shaky "And what were their names?"
"Jack. And Gracie."
I flick a glance at him and his eyes are wet. Tears of joy, or of sadness, I wondered.
He stares at me "Why did you keep this from me?"
My temper fought its way out from underneath from the numbness.
"And how exactly was I supposed to tell you?" He opened his mouth but I had waited for this moment for thirty years and I finally hit flashpoint.
"You dropped off the face of the earth for six weeks. I thought you were dead!" I spat bitterly at them both as quietly as I could "I thought you knew and didn't want them. I thought you'd finally decided I wasn't worth the effort. I called a hundred times, I went round your house. I tried everything! Imagine my surprise when I saw you on TV alive and well and apparently homicidal" I pointed at Raven as I said this "I've spent thirty years raising those children without your help and they did just fine without a father. I didn't need you. Either of you, so don't you dare blink wounded blue eyes at me Charles Xavier! You can go to hell!"
"Susannah" He says.
I put as much venom into my voice as I can muster and harden my stare "I hate you."
"It was complicated" Raven says desperately "We were…"
"I really don't give a shit what you were doing three decades ago. I've imagined every possible scenario that could come out of your mouth and there isn't a damn thing you could say that would possibly justify you not picking up a phone for six weeks. And to top it all off I'm the one feeling guilty that I didn't try again when I knew you were alive and now Gracie is dead and she'll never get to meet her father and my granddaughter is hearing voices in her head so I had to come here and face you and I never wanted to see you again."
The tears break loose and this point and I bury my face in my hands a sob silently, shoulders shaking. They both move as though to touch me and I snap and them both to not fucking touch me. Raven recoils but Charles persisted and wrapped one arm around my shoulders.
I cry into his shoulder.
"I'm sorry" He whispers into my hair.
"It's going to take more than sorry."
Raven takes my hands "We know."
And I can tell by their voices that they do in fact know. We sit there in the house I once loved and slowly my heart pieces itself back together. They'll explain later, what happened all those years ago, how Charles lost his legs, what happened in DC and in Egypt and in turn I'll tell them about my children, show him pictures of Gracie and eventually introduce my son to his father.
But that's for later. Right now I just sit and breathe and realise what's happening.
I've come home.
A/N This is a fic that has been banging around in my head for ages. I've changed the names a dozen times. I hope you like it. I swapped to first person at the end to demonstrate this was the present.