Black and White
Notes:
Language of flowers can often be understood differently in different situations and by different people. For example, even though the most common meaning of the white rose is innocence, it can also be linked to everlasting love - love stronger than death, an eternal love, undying and all sustaining. Black roses are similar. They can be connected to many things such as death and anarchy. But, in the concept of romance they are also the symbol of euphoric, passionate and unconditional love.
Remind you of someone? Now add this to the concept of hanahaki disease and the two people who say that they hate each other, but still are the most important ones in each other's life. They are the polar opposites, the cat and the dog, the yin and the yang. They are the black and the white. They are Izaya and Shizuo.
Summary:
Izaya and Shizuo both suffer from hanahaki disease. They will never admit that what they feel is anything but hatred, even in the dark hours of a night when no one is around, even to themselves, and not to mention out loud. So, the one will always run while the other will chase. It is easy, even when it is hard, and it is so hard when it should be easy. The world is not black and white even if Izaya and Shizuo are.
Prologue
"Hanahaki disease is the rarest one of all. In order for it to happen there are few conditions that must occur first. You need to be touched by the creature that cannot naturally die and you need to feel an unrequited love for ten years. After that you start throwing up petals at first. Then it gets worse, the flowers form and it is harder to cough them up. Depending on the flower you can die from poisoning in the early stages or it can last longer and you will die from the roots, or thorns, of course depending on the flower. Why do you ask, Izaya-kun?"
Shinra asks the person on the other side of the phone line and he wonders is it intuition or some incredible information network that allows Izaya to know that Shizuo Heiwajima is next to the doctor, silent and unmoving with the blood stained white petals in his hand.
"Well, I think that I have it."
The response is immediate and the laugh follows that sentence; and, it is all replied in the matter of seconds leaving Shinra unresponsive with wide eyes. He isn't sure what to do, and what to say, really.
What do you say to someone who got the disease that is so rare that is almost fictional? That only happens in extraordinary circumstances; when you love and you are not loved in return? And, even worse, what do you say when that same disease is what makes that person's arch enemy start throwing up petals; on that same day; on the day that clearly marks ten years from when they first met?
Two plus two is nothing if not four; and, this plus that equals only one thing. Shinra is not stupid and somewhere deep down he had always known. They fell in love with each other, on the same day, when they first saw each other; and on the same day they both said for the first time that they hated each other.
So, Shinra does not comment. He asks if Izaya's petals are black, from the rose with the blood on them. And one "how did you know?" leaves nothing else to be questioned.
He just takes a breath and answers that Shizuo started to throw up the white ones on that same day. After that, the sound of beeping, related to an ended phone call, is ringing in the doctor's ears. Shinra doesn't need to say anything else to Izaya. And, Shizuo simply looks him in the eyes as if he already knows how the story will end.
Shinra should have known that they are the same even though they are so much different. The one will always run while the other will chase. However, neither will ever admit how they feel. It is easy, even when it is hard, and it is so hard when it should be easy. The world is not black and white even if Izaya and Shizuo are.
So, he looks at Shizuo and starts to explain. But all he manages to say is "Izaya", and Shizuo stops him in that rough voice of his, "he doesn't have anything to do with this". After that he leaves. Shinra would be delighted about the fact that all of his furniture is intact if not for another fact that makes him swallow hard, feeling of dread thick on his tongue.
The only way his two friends will survive is if they admit to each other with actual words how they feel. If they were any other two people in the world, everything would be fine, perfect really. But they? They will never admit that what they feel is anything but hatred, even in the dark hours of a night when no one is around, even to themselves, and not to mention out loud. So, he lets them be; at least for tonight because he hears the steps of the woman that cannot naturally die, but who he loves with all his heart.
Tomorrow morning at Shizuo's doorsteps is left a box with black petals and a note that says: "You should be happy monster; you finally managed both to kill me and to make me go away."
When Shizuo calls the number is disconnected; when he visits, the apartment is empty; when he needs him, Izaya is nowhere to be found. But every single morning since that first one, there is a box of black and blood stained petals left like some cursed present that somehow manages to make Shizuo feel both angry and happy; scared and safe, hated and loved, all at a same time.