Journal- free write
One shot- Gone Forever
Author's Note thanks to The One Time By: alexsonnn
Summary: when Ian is dead, Alex is having troubles, and not just because Mi6 decided he'd be a good Teen Spy
A/N: this story is about Alex Rider's life, and how he wants to end it and how he wants to get over his old life.
Ian R- AlexR/Cub
English
Hurt/Comfort/Angst
Rated T
Re Written By: Jaylene Olebar
The music was loud and 'it was so associated with my life.' Alex Rider thought and smiled a little. The music was about death and that was so with Alex.
Don't know what's going on
Don't know what went wrong
Feels like a hundred years I
Still can't believe you're gone
So I'll stay up all night
With these bloodshot eyes
While these walls surround me with the story of our life
Alex Rider glanced at his cell phone that was playing music and he sighed. It had been 2 days since Ian had died and now he was getting depressed.
Drugs, they had made the pain dull and now he was stopping.
Ian wouldn't have wanted him to do this; he was supposed to be on his feet and working hard in class.
He was a Rider and they never cried and they were always strong.
I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever
"Tom I can't do this. I don't know who to be now he is gone! Now that Jack is gone, I am alone!"
Tom Harris glanced at his best mate who hadn't been the same since his uncle died.
"Be who you always were Al, I will be here for you."
Now things are coming clear
And I don't need you here
And in this world around me
I'm glad you disappeared
So I'll stay out all night
Get drunk and fuck and fight
Until the morning comes I'll
Forget about our life
'Drinking fights and I disappear day by day. I am so broken.' Alex thought and opened his mouth.
"WHY CANT YOU STILL BE ALIVE!?"
Alex Rider yelled at the roof top of the building and stared across at the starry night.
"Don't jump Little Alex." A voice said.
I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever
"Don't jump Little Alex."
The voice told him he was wanted and was still loved.
"I don't want to live." Alex whispered.
"I love you."
The words Alex Rider had wanted to hear all his life, from a man who was supposed to be dead.
Yassen Gregorovich, he had uttered those words.
"You do?"
"You are the only thing I live for."
First time you screamed at me
I should have made you leave
I should have known it could be so much better
I hope you're missing me
I hope I've made you see
That I'm gone forever
"I missed you Ian"
The uncle glanced at his five year old nephew and smiled.
"I missed you too Al."
Words in the past that was never true. Well they could've been but Ian Rider had never shown that he loved Alex Rider.
And now it's coming clear
That I don't need you here
And in this world around me
I'm glad you disappeared
'WAS THAT A LIE!?'
"DID YOU EVER LOVE ME IAN?" Alex called to the darkness on the roof top of Sayle Inter-press.
He was still there after Yassen had left on his helicopter, tears silently fell down his face, and the fourteen year old boy slowly walked back to his house in Chelsea.
I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever
And now you're gone forever
And now you're gone forever
And now you're gone forever
Those words ringed in Alex's mind even after the song had finished, he would get over his uncle, move on from the depression and he would be a normal teenager, with his new father.
"Ian you're gone from my life forever and ever. I will miss you but I choose life."
"Take me home Yassen."
[A/N: Gone Forever By three days grace]