Collective Hearts
by Mashimaro Neko (aka Kouhiitenshixx)
A/N: Not very good and semi-AU.
WHAT IS THE COUPLE, YOU SAY? Read and find out.
It was a friendship, but it also was... more than that? A partnership. We completed eachother, in some ways. More of, she completed me.
It started suddenly. She was appointed randomly—I wasn't informed of the switch until the last day of the trimester before. Suddenly, in a meeting, Tadase informed us that the old Ace had finally gotten sick enough to be taken out for home schooling and that he would be replaced with 3rd grader Yaya Yuiki, who had recently birthed a single shugo. The next thing I knew, she was wearing a cape and sitting in the garden with us.
Even more sudden was her attachment to me.
After our first meeting she ran up and embraced (-- okay, it was more of a tackle) me in a hug. "Haaaaaaaay!! You're Fujisaki Nadeshiko, right?" she asked, letting go once I had sufficently stopped moving.
I could only nod. "Y-yes. Why?"
"As girls, we should get to know eachother and stick together!" she said. "You used to be the only girl. But now you're not, cuz I'm here! So we should be friends."
If only she had known...
"S-sure." I said politely, smiling best I could despite the circumstances. "Sounds like a wonderful idea!" This girl is insane... I remember thinking.
She cheered and made happy noises. "That's great, Nachi! Oh, I can call you that, right? You can call me Yaya if you want We should go shopping! Is this weekend good?"
Despite the crazy start, we became fast friends. Over silly little shopping trips and concerts, crepes and amusement parks, we opened up to eachother about our lives.
She told me about her brother and how lonely she was. She told me about how she loved to dance. She told me about her childhood friendships and loves, her experiences in becoming a guardian, everything.
"I wasn't exactly liked in my class until I became a guardian. Now everyone loves me, but it's all so fake. They never want to do anything and they don't talk to me about anything but stupid things. I kinda hate it." she admitted.
I told her about how hard it was to follow tradition in my family (leaving out my true gender, of course.) I told her about my corresponding love of dance. I told her about the people that taught me to cook, my old pets, stories about the old Ace and his qualms with Temari, everything I could.
"I know exactly what you mean." I assured her.
Our mothers didn't exactly like how much we stayed over at each other's houses, even though it wasn't too excessive in our eyes (once a week seemed fine to me...) We shrugged them off—they had no idea how we were. I did still try my best to keep my gender a secret from her; changing in private when I could. As our bond strengthened, this became harder, but I just tried to be more cautious and natural—I had to change in front of girls all the time in Gym, and this was Yaya, the person I was most comfortable with of all—there was usually no problem.
However, no secret is forever, and she eventually found out. Once, the pressure as an older sister and daughter got tough enough that she ran away, staying at my house for five days in secret.
I was trying my best, honest, but I had to take a shower sometime... I had no idea she was reading manga in my room when I walked in completely naked. Honest.
... though the look on her face was priceless.
I explained it to her in full (once I got some clothes on, of course,) telling her about the tradition and emphasized many times that I had tried very hard to not to accidentally see her naked or changing. She was bright red for a while and seemed sort of unhappy I hadn't told her, and for the next day things were a bit awkward—but she got used to it. It didn't seem to change much in our friendship, other than she gave me more room to change, and would occasionally make jokes about it. ("So, how is it in the girl's locker room, Nachi?") I would just laugh and tease her back. ("Why are YOU so interested, Yaya-san? Is there something you need to tell me?") I didn't mind. Not if it was her.
I think part of the reason we were so close was how much we needed each other. I supported her unconditionally, when her crushes rejected her and she felt all alone in the world, or when all the attention went to her baby sister and she felt so unloved. I would dry her tears and prove her wrong, cheering her up with stupid jokes and warm brownies. And in return, she taught me everything.
At first, it was to have fun. I was stuffy, traditional, a bit uptight—Yaya slowly taught me rebellion, excitement, and freedom. For a while, she tried to teach me boys.
"See him, right there? Go up to him and say hi!" she would say. I would blush and giggle, but never would.
She dropped that after she learned my gender—I think she was scared to question my sexuality. However, a different set of lessons started.
I'm not sure how it started—I think it was a joke, late at night while high on sugar, caffeine, life and each other—but she started to teach me to be a man.
It wasn't really serious. Her tips would be childish and stereotypical, and were always accompanied with little giggles. It didn't teach me anything, other than she, even though she may be the only person in the world that ever would, truly accepted me. We never called eachother by anything further, but we were definitely more than simple friends.
I think I might have taken it for granted.
You never see how wonderful what you have is until it leaves... or slaps you in the face when you start to stray.
When Hinamori Amu came into the picture, Yaya started seeming a bit distant, and I was worried. She called a bit less, and she seemed somewhat down. No one else could notice it, but I could.
I came to her house unannounced, pulling their spare key from the spot where I knew it was hidden and unlocking the door. "Yaya...?"
Her parents had taken Tsubasa to some baby thing, and she was home alone, playing (and losing) a video game. Her hair was down, and she was still in her pajamas. She turned around suddenly. "N-nachi?! Where'd you come from?!" she asked, shocked. I just smiled and sat beside her.
She knew we needed to talk before I said it.
"So, you took another step to becoming a man, right?" she said, seeming happy. I knew better, and could feel the fakeness of it coming off her in waves.
"... you mean, with Hinamori-san?" I asked. I had guessed she was going to figure out I liked her.
Yaya nodded. "Are you happy? How's it going with her?"
"Pretty well." I said. "We're becoming better friends now."
"I'm happy for you."
It was a lie.
I knew her inside and out. But I couldn't figure out why she was so down. I couldn't see why she brought this up. For once, my best friend was being a complete mystery.
"Yaya."
She sighed.
"Stop it, and tell me what's going on."
The brown girl sat the controller down, and stared at the floor.
"... you're going to get hurt." she whispered. "I'm so happy you're growing, but I can't stand it, that..."
It was my turn to sigh. "Are you worried she'll reject me?"
She tensed. "She will. She's in love with Tadase-kun. And you've seen him with that catboy— if not one of them, the other one will get her. And she thinks you're a girl—she doesn't appear to be lesbian—"
"But I am a bo—"
"NOT TO HER!"
I froze.
Yaya never yelled. Yaya never got seriously mad at me. Yaya never argued like this with me.
Was this a real fight?
She also seemed scared at her volume, and relaxed her shoulders some and looked farther down.
"It's impossible, Nadeshiko-chan. And you know it." her voice was a whisper again.
"Even so, you've gone through billions of impossible crushes too." I told her, staying as calm as I could despite my internal panic. "I'll learn too, if given a chance, ri—"
"I don't want you to hurt."
"I don't want you to hurt, either, but I never condemned your crushes."
"... don't I at least get a reward?" she said quietly after a long pause.
I blinked. "A reward for what?"
"Maybe I'm being selfish... to not want it to change... but I like this trading..." she said, almost muttering. "And if it's going it to change, I... at least..."
"Yaya, you're not making any sense."
Suddenly, my best friend looked up, face red and eyes determined. "If I'm going to teach you to be a man..." she crawled over to me, dangerously close, practically on top of me. I could feel my face burn.
"...at least have the courtesy to act like one to me!"
She kissed me, officially declaring herself more than a friend.