.
Sometimes in the night, I long to feel your touch
Then I think back, and realize I've lost so much
The tears begin to fall, the ache in my chest starts
And I understand now, the pain of a broken heart
.
The radio droned on quietly in the corner, a country channel providing the soundtrack for an evening he wished he could forget. Yet, to forget was only to put aside mere moments of time. Forgetting one evening could not erase his past, nor could erase his destiny. Jackson sat in the room alone, watching the dust dance across the mantle where her picture once sat. It now lies on the floor, broken and shattered, much like his heart. Erica had come here once more to break his heart, and he had let her.
Truth was, he didn't know if he even had the fight left in him. Years upon years had worn his heart down, and now, when all was said and done, he had nothing left. What was there to fight for? Erica had walked away from him again, claiming he didn't love her, didn't know her. He was finally wondering if it was true. Did he know her? Did he love her? All these questions scanned his mind as he sat there.
Minutes had turned to hours and there were no movements from him. After a long period, he slowly made his way to the mess on the floor. He wasn't sure who had thrown the picture down, but now he began to pick up the broken pieces. Placing them on the coffee table in front of the couch, he rested his weary body. With a quiet intensity, he began to piece the glass back together, mending it slowly, as his heart did the same.
He loved her, there was no doubt about it. He couldn't deny it, and yet he questioned could he ever love her enough. Maybe that was the task. To find a way to love her as much as she needed. ~~~~
His hands rapped on the door softly. Knowing the hour was late, but she would be awake. A lone light shone in her window, acting as a beacon for his heart, he hoped. As the door began to ease open, Jackson sucked in a deep breath. He suddenly felt like a schoolboy awaiting word from the principal. Slight anticipation mixed with an undeniable fear.
"Jackson, what are you doing here?" "I, uh, had to see you. I need to talk to you." "I thought we had nothing left to discuss. I thought we were all through. Did I not make that clear last night?" "Look. Erica... please, can I come in?" Watching her face, he saw her mind working. He knew what this was. This was her way of blocking him out, hiding her feelings. She had not expected him to come this soon, and this was his advantage. Moving to her left, she allowed him entrance. He made his way to the couch, sitting slowly, awaiting the battle that was sure to ensue. "So, what do we need to talk about Jack?" "Erica. Come, sit." Even though he could tell she didn't' want to, she made her way to the couch. She sat on the first cushion, the furthest one from him, and almost out of arms reach. Was she scared of him, or of herself? This was soon what he would find out.
"Erica, last night we both said things we didn't mean. You know that." "I don't know what you're talking about. I think we both seemed to make things very clear last night. I didn't hear you denying anything we said." "Look. It's been hard for us both these last few months. We need to just stop, and examine our lives. I love you Erica. I always have. I can't stop." "That's not what you said last night, I believe your exact words were..." "Honey, please. For once, can we stop looking at the past, and just focus on the future." "And what future might that be Jack? This happens everytime, why don't we just forget it and move on." "I can't believe you're saying these things. You are acting like this was a fling with us. That we haven't been everything to each other." "That's the past Jackson, remember, we're supposed to be looking ahead. And when I look to my future, I see it with a man who loves me, totally and completely." "Erica, what do I have to do to prove it to you? You are the only woman I love. The only woman I could ever love. Just in this instance, think to our pasts. I have always been there for you, stood beside you, and this is how it all ends? This can't be how it ends." She sat silent now, as if contemplating the words he had spoken. He watched the emotions dance through her eyes. First there was fear, perhaps the fear he was right. Then came her doubt, the doubt that always lingered in her life, the doubt that a man could love her. And finally, he saw the love in her eyes. He slowly reached a hand out to her, waiting to see if she'd take it. Like a small child, she placed her hand in his, waiting to see what the next move would be. "Erica, I know you may doubt me, and this love we share, but there is no reason to. I have loved you forever, I can't remember a time when I didn't. This will last, this time, we can make this work." "Oh Jackson, I want to believe you. You don't know how bad I want to believe it this time." "Then believe. Believe in me, and in this love." Before she could speak, Jackson closed the distance between them. Leaning in, poised to kiss her, he looking into her eyes. Seeking the permission to continue. With a slight nod, it was granted and he moved the rest of the way to seal their fate. His lips moved with slowly along hers, moving with the time he now knew they had. The kiss was full of emotion and love. The passion could come later, they had forever. Tonight he needed to assure her this was real, and that it was true. Pulling back, he looked once more to her eyes. They opened under his scrutiny, and he saw a myriad of feelings play through them.
"Mm. so tired Jackson." She leaned in to him, allowing his body to enclose her small frame. Maneuvering them carefully, Jackson managed to get them both comfortably situated on the couch. "Erica. I love you. I want to hold you all night, all my nights." "Mmm. I love you Jackson, and I want to feel you hold me all night. For all my nights." Content now, she allowed sleep to take her over. Jackson lay awake a bit longer, enjoying the feel of her in his arms. To him, it seemed like this time was right. Something felt different, and he hoped it was the difference of maturity. Perhaps they had both finally grown enough to truly love one another. There would be ruts to trip in, and rocks to stumble over. But together, somehow they would finish the journey. As his eyes began to slip shut, a final thought ran through his mind. In 15 years, their relationship had run the gamut of events. And, finally, seemed to be on the edge of achieving all they had dreamed of. Amazing. Closing his eyes, he settled deeper into the cushions, pulling her close. She snuggled further into his arms, finding true rest in his arms. Somewhere, in a distant apartment, the final strands of a song played to no one in particular, yet it played nonetheless.
. And tonight, I go to you for one more chance Knowing this time, we can make it last So I hold you close, to me your love you lend And this ole broken heart finally begins to mend .
The radio droned on quietly in the corner, a country channel providing the soundtrack for an evening he wished he could forget. Yet, to forget was only to put aside mere moments of time. Forgetting one evening could not erase his past, nor could erase his destiny. Jackson sat in the room alone, watching the dust dance across the mantle where her picture once sat. It now lies on the floor, broken and shattered, much like his heart. Erica had come here once more to break his heart, and he had let her.
Truth was, he didn't know if he even had the fight left in him. Years upon years had worn his heart down, and now, when all was said and done, he had nothing left. What was there to fight for? Erica had walked away from him again, claiming he didn't love her, didn't know her. He was finally wondering if it was true. Did he know her? Did he love her? All these questions scanned his mind as he sat there.
Minutes had turned to hours and there were no movements from him. After a long period, he slowly made his way to the mess on the floor. He wasn't sure who had thrown the picture down, but now he began to pick up the broken pieces. Placing them on the coffee table in front of the couch, he rested his weary body. With a quiet intensity, he began to piece the glass back together, mending it slowly, as his heart did the same.
He loved her, there was no doubt about it. He couldn't deny it, and yet he questioned could he ever love her enough. Maybe that was the task. To find a way to love her as much as she needed. ~~~~
His hands rapped on the door softly. Knowing the hour was late, but she would be awake. A lone light shone in her window, acting as a beacon for his heart, he hoped. As the door began to ease open, Jackson sucked in a deep breath. He suddenly felt like a schoolboy awaiting word from the principal. Slight anticipation mixed with an undeniable fear.
"Jackson, what are you doing here?" "I, uh, had to see you. I need to talk to you." "I thought we had nothing left to discuss. I thought we were all through. Did I not make that clear last night?" "Look. Erica... please, can I come in?" Watching her face, he saw her mind working. He knew what this was. This was her way of blocking him out, hiding her feelings. She had not expected him to come this soon, and this was his advantage. Moving to her left, she allowed him entrance. He made his way to the couch, sitting slowly, awaiting the battle that was sure to ensue. "So, what do we need to talk about Jack?" "Erica. Come, sit." Even though he could tell she didn't' want to, she made her way to the couch. She sat on the first cushion, the furthest one from him, and almost out of arms reach. Was she scared of him, or of herself? This was soon what he would find out.
"Erica, last night we both said things we didn't mean. You know that." "I don't know what you're talking about. I think we both seemed to make things very clear last night. I didn't hear you denying anything we said." "Look. It's been hard for us both these last few months. We need to just stop, and examine our lives. I love you Erica. I always have. I can't stop." "That's not what you said last night, I believe your exact words were..." "Honey, please. For once, can we stop looking at the past, and just focus on the future." "And what future might that be Jack? This happens everytime, why don't we just forget it and move on." "I can't believe you're saying these things. You are acting like this was a fling with us. That we haven't been everything to each other." "That's the past Jackson, remember, we're supposed to be looking ahead. And when I look to my future, I see it with a man who loves me, totally and completely." "Erica, what do I have to do to prove it to you? You are the only woman I love. The only woman I could ever love. Just in this instance, think to our pasts. I have always been there for you, stood beside you, and this is how it all ends? This can't be how it ends." She sat silent now, as if contemplating the words he had spoken. He watched the emotions dance through her eyes. First there was fear, perhaps the fear he was right. Then came her doubt, the doubt that always lingered in her life, the doubt that a man could love her. And finally, he saw the love in her eyes. He slowly reached a hand out to her, waiting to see if she'd take it. Like a small child, she placed her hand in his, waiting to see what the next move would be. "Erica, I know you may doubt me, and this love we share, but there is no reason to. I have loved you forever, I can't remember a time when I didn't. This will last, this time, we can make this work." "Oh Jackson, I want to believe you. You don't know how bad I want to believe it this time." "Then believe. Believe in me, and in this love." Before she could speak, Jackson closed the distance between them. Leaning in, poised to kiss her, he looking into her eyes. Seeking the permission to continue. With a slight nod, it was granted and he moved the rest of the way to seal their fate. His lips moved with slowly along hers, moving with the time he now knew they had. The kiss was full of emotion and love. The passion could come later, they had forever. Tonight he needed to assure her this was real, and that it was true. Pulling back, he looked once more to her eyes. They opened under his scrutiny, and he saw a myriad of feelings play through them.
"Mm. so tired Jackson." She leaned in to him, allowing his body to enclose her small frame. Maneuvering them carefully, Jackson managed to get them both comfortably situated on the couch. "Erica. I love you. I want to hold you all night, all my nights." "Mmm. I love you Jackson, and I want to feel you hold me all night. For all my nights." Content now, she allowed sleep to take her over. Jackson lay awake a bit longer, enjoying the feel of her in his arms. To him, it seemed like this time was right. Something felt different, and he hoped it was the difference of maturity. Perhaps they had both finally grown enough to truly love one another. There would be ruts to trip in, and rocks to stumble over. But together, somehow they would finish the journey. As his eyes began to slip shut, a final thought ran through his mind. In 15 years, their relationship had run the gamut of events. And, finally, seemed to be on the edge of achieving all they had dreamed of. Amazing. Closing his eyes, he settled deeper into the cushions, pulling her close. She snuggled further into his arms, finding true rest in his arms. Somewhere, in a distant apartment, the final strands of a song played to no one in particular, yet it played nonetheless.
. And tonight, I go to you for one more chance Knowing this time, we can make it last So I hold you close, to me your love you lend And this ole broken heart finally begins to mend .