This one-shot is unbetaed but I've never cried while writing a fanfic before and I did writing this, so hopefully it's just as powerful to you.

Magnus knew it would hurt, he'd been in this same exact situation before: The pain, the guilt, the hollow feeling of loss, the red eyes sore from hours of crying, the numbness towards the world, the darkness that closed around him. He'd felt all of it, several times in his lifetime but never to this extent. It was as if he were watching a movie, the pictures were there but he couldn't feel it, it was as if he were completely removed. Seeing so many people cry over two people they hardly even knew, while he felt like he was dying as well. Magnus refused to look inside the caskets, knowing he'd find the pair holding seraph blades over their chests with their eyes bound in silk, beautiful as ever, but without life, without their spark; and Magnus knew that wherever his boys were, they'd left the moment they died, talking to their bodies would bring him no more peace than the gentle words everyone was passing his way.

Magnus kept his distance, his eyes looking straight ahead though he couldn't register what he was seeing. The words "Ave Atque Vale" fell from his lips in chorus with the others and when his voice broke Izzy took his hand and gave it a squeeze. It was all Magnus could do to give her the weakest squeeze back, not even glancing her way as they exited the room and headed towards the lawn for the burning of the bodies. Originally, the Clave had denied Jace and Alec the right to be buried in the City Of Bones, saying that their romantic bond had corrupted them, but Magnus fought tooth and nail, knowing that it's what they would have wanted, and finally with the help of Izzy, he'd managed to win out.

As Magnus watched them light fire to the bodies, speaking words of honor to the parabatai, Magnus clutched at the two wedding bands that hung from his neck. The gold one braided with a single blue gemstone in the center, a little more showy than the other that hung by it's side, Silver and sleek in comparison. The metal was warm against Magnus's skin, thanks to him being unable to let the rings go for more than a few moments at a time. Magnus had been so used to feeling their heartbeats through the charmed rings and when the rings went silent, it chilled Magnus to the core, making the hole in his chest feel that much deeper. They were silent still as Magnus watched the flames dance higher and higher, lost in his grief as his brain registered nothing more than the orange and red flames.

He didn't jump when he felt a hand on his arm, and he said nothing as he turned to look at the middle-aged woman beside him. Her eye makeup was smeared and her hair was slightly messy, the curls going frizzy and flat, showing the world just how much she was hurting at losing all that was left of her family. "It's time to go." Izzy said quietly, looking around and Magnus realized that everyone else was long gone.

Magnus simply turned back to the fire that was now slowly dying and gazed into its center, as if he could simply wish his two soulmates back into existence. Izzy seemed to understand that he wasn't going anywhere because Magnus heard a quiet 'Adios Hermanos' and footsteps as Izzy walked away. When Magnus was finally alone a tear slipped down his cheek and he stepped closer to the dying fire. "I never believed in soul mates until you two. I never thought love like this existed..."

"I never believed in soul mates until you two. I never thought love like this existed..."

Magnus took a shaky breath, trying to fight off the sobs he felt bubbling up from within him. "But I'm glad you went together, so you didn't have to feel the pain of having your soul ripped in half. Trust me, it sucks." Magnus smiled ruefully to himself, a sob slipping passed his lips, unable to control it anymore. "I don't know how, but one day we will meet again. So until then, Ave Atque Vale, my loves."

Magnus stepped away, snapping his fingers and opening a portal to his lair. He stepped through it and the moment he landed on the other side he crumbled to the ground, only the decorative rug saving his fall.

Magnus had felt loss before, been broken more times than he could count, but he'd never lost a part of him, never before had he felt like he'd been ripped into tiny pieces and scattered across burning coals, his heart screaming in agony.

The reminders of the parabatai were everywhere: Alec's gear jacket hung on a hook by the door, Jace's gear belt beside it, photos of the three of them littered the space of the loft and suddenly Magnus felt like he was suffocating. He threw a preservation charm on Alec's jacket and Jace's belt before he managed to pull himself off the floor.

He drug himself to their-his room, stumbling on shaky legs as he went, and the feeling of grief only intensified. The drapes were two mismatched colors from where Jace and Alec had been lazily playing with their own magic, brought on by the romantic bond, before Magnus had come in demanding they change the curtains back to something more tasteful; but they never got around to it after Magnus had been tackled to the bed. Jace's discarded shirt still lay on the floor after he'd tossed it there just three days prior in a rush to get more of his skin against Alec and Magnus's own. Alec's demonic language book was open to a page he was studying on the desk, notes in his neat script covered half a page of the notebook beside it. The four poster bed that the three of them had shared for over fifteen years, where they'd talked and laughed and slept and made love, was now a place only Magnus would sleep.

The wave of agony that swept over the Warlock was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. Jace and Alec were gone, they weren't coming back, and Magnus would have to live on alone, not knowing when he'd ever be able to see them again, if he even ended up where he was sure his two angels were.

Magnus curled up on the bed, wrapping himself in the covers that still smelled faintly of his soulmates, sobs wracking through his body so hard it hurt, until finally Magnus closed his eyes from exhaustion.

When Magnus awoke he blinked into bright sunlight, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he sat up. He was sure he had fallen asleep last night in his own bed, not in a flower filled field near Idris. Magnus cursed himself inwardly, he'd only accidently portaled himself in his sleep once and it was not a pleasant experience and he had hoped to avoid that excursion ever again.

Magnus looked down at himself, expecting his white custom suit to be wrinkled but it was as perfectly pressed as it had been before the funeral. Had he also ironed in his sleep?

Magnus stood, the metal of the rings around his neck clinking together as he tried to figure out where he was. The colors were so vibrant, so beautiful, that if it were any other time, he would have stopped to admire its' beauty, and as Magnus looked harder he was sure he spotted a purple flower only native to Idris right beside...a Lotus?

Magnus's brows furrowed further, Lotus flowers grew in wet areas, in Asia, not on dry hills, just what exactly had he done and where was he?

Magnus was about to take a step towards the flower when he felt it-a heartbeat. Magnus jumped, almost falling back into the grass in shock. He had to be feeling things, phantom heartbeats again, due to feeling so much loss at once. Thump thump. Magnus glanced down at the rings to confirm he wasn't going crazy, there on his chest he could feel two heartbeats, two very familiar heartbeats.

"Well, well. The Magnus Bane sitting in the grass in a white suit? I must be dreaming."

Magnus froze, the voice of his favorite blonde headed Nephilim was filling his ears, but that wasn't possible...was it?

"If you are, I must be having the same one."

Alec.

Magnus glanced up to see both boys standing over him, Jace smirking and Alec grinning playfully down at him. They both appeared younger than when Magnus had last seen them, Alec had just been approaching his thirty-eight birthday and Jace his thirty-sixth, but these two men looked to be in their early twenties and Magnus was hit with a wave of nostalgia for the year they first got together.

"Ah, right, you might have some questions for us." Alec blushed, rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly when Magnus didn't say anything in reply. Jace, sensing Magnus's shock, dropped his smirk to give Magnus a reassuring smile, sitting down beside his husband.

"You're not real." Magnus breathed, willing the vision to go away, knowing it would only hurt more when he finally woke up to his empty bed, to both of his husbands being gone.

"Should you tell him or should I?" Jace asked Alec, who glanced between the two and licked his lips nervously and sat down on the other side of Magnus.

"Mags, we are real in a way, I guess not to everyone, but...you see..."

"When we died," Jace interrupted, saving Alec from stuttering as Magnus looked between the boys with helpless eyes. "Our souls died together, we figured you'd be alright but...we overlooked something."

Magnus's eyebrows furrowed, wanting nothing more than to reach out and take the hands of his love's, but scared that if he did they would vanish. The pure confusion that was swirling around in his mind was enough to make him feel light headed.

"We didn't realize it, but..." Alec hugged his knees to his chest, "you're also part of our soul. When we married, it was like having the parabatai ceremony over again. Our magic linked with yours and over time, our souls grew together."

"So when we died, it was like taking two-thirds of a soul and expecting the remaining third to live." Jace finished, reaching out to take Magnus's hand in his own, gently tracing the veins on the back of his hand.

"We could feel how much it hurt you, Mags. We...we didn't know what to do. We wanted to help but it's not within our power." Alec looked guilty, toying with the silver bracelet that Magnus had gotten him for his thirtieth birthday.

"The angel said you were dying of a broken heart, so to speak. He said souls can't live in pieces like that." Jace looked apologetic, as if he could have somehow changed things so that Magnus could live longer without them.

"I'm...dead?" Magnus asked, his tone incredulous. Magnus knew he could die, Immortal didn't mean indestructible, but he'd always though his demise would come from magic more powerful than his, though when he thought about it, maybe love was the most powerful magic, even more powerful than his own.

"I'm sorry, Magnus." Alec said quietly, reaching out to place a gentle hand on Magnus's thigh.

Magnus blinked for a moment, trying to process what was being said. It was insane, completely mental... and it also made perfect sense; the waking up in a different place, a place that held impossible wonders, and the heartbeats he felt, he was no longer among the living.

"You...you said the angel?"

Alec and Jace broke into grins, "Yeah, turns out you got into the upstairs." Jace grinned, giving Magnus's hand a squeeze, his eyes twinkling.

"We're not sure if it's because you earned it or because we talked the angels ear off about you and he just wanted us to shut up." Jace teased and Alec laughed, a sound that felt like anesthetic on a wound to Magnus's tired heart.

"We're together?" Magnus's voice held a tone of awe that Alec rarely heard and he smiled, moving to lean against Magnclosingde, closing his eyes and smiling into the sunshine and warm breeze.

"We're together. Forever."

End Notes

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