Afterlife
By Wolfram and Hart
Chapter 1: Time To Die.
"Those guys were chumps." Lindsey said as he washed the demon blood off his hands.
"Now they're chunks." Lorne said, surveying the dead bodies of the Sahrvin. "Demon strength or no, you're quite the master swordsman."
"Well, I couldn't have done it without that high note in MacArthur Park" Lindsey said, smiling a little.
"Slays 'em every time." Lorne said, his voice sounding deader than the demons at their feet.
"Any word on the rest of the team?" Lindsey asked, and funny thing, he was actually concerned.
"For all I know, we are the rest of the team. I haven't heard squat." The demonic singer said. Lindsey could hear in his voice that he was just plain tired of this.
"That's weird." The former lawyer mused.
"They'll call." Lorne said unconvincingly.
"No. I mean me saying 'team' and meaning it." And he did mean it. Sure, he'd thought about double-crossing Angel, but this "fighting the good fight thing" actually felt pretty good. "I kind of like the feeling."
"Yeah," Lorne scoffed. "Today."
"You really done with them?" Lindsey asked, already knowing the answer.
"It isn't my kind of work anymore. It's unsavory." The green lounge singer sighed.
"Gee, I think it's just getting interesting." And was it ever going to get interesting. When the Senior Partners got wind of this, all hell would break loose, literally.
"Yeah, I bet you do." Lorne said, with a hint of accusation.
"You don't trust me. You don't think a man can change?" 'So much for redemption' Lindsey thought.
"It's not about what I think. This was Angel's plan." Lorne said miserably.
"Come on." Lindsey said, not wanting to part company with his old bartender like this. "I could sing for you."
"I've heard you sing." Lorne said sadly. Lindsey barely heard the muffled pops of the gun until the hot lead hit his chest.
"Wh-what? Why did…y…you?" Lindsey asked in disbelief. Why did he shoot him? Was this what he meant? Was this Angel's plan?
"One last job. You're not part of the solution, Lindsey. You never will be." The dying lawyer didn't know if the disgust in Lorne's voice was directed towards him or to Lorne himself.
"You kill me? A flunky?! I'm not just…" Lindsey asked as he staggered back staring incredulously at Lorne. He hit the floor struggling to breathe. He couldn't believe it, he was killed by the same demon who used to serve him Tanqueray and tonic. He deserved a better end than this, he should've gone out fighting that bastard Angel. "Angel kills me! Angel…"
He felt himself slip, almost like falling asleep. If this was death, it wasn't as bad as he thought. The pain was gone, he didn't know where he was, he couldn't see or hear anything, and for a minute he couldn't even think of his own name. He was lost in a void.
"Lindsey McDonald."
Lindsey was jolted into consciousness by a voice calling his name. He looked around and saw he was sitting in a chair in an airport. He saw an old bald man standing in front of him holding a briefcase.
"Hello, Lindsey. I'm Frank, nice to meet you." The man said, extending his hand to him. Lindsey shook his hand and looked around.
"Where the hell am I?" Lindsey asked. "Last thing I remember, I was shot by a green demon who dresses like Elton John, I couldn't catch my breath and everything was getting blurry. And now, I'm here talking to you. Shouldn't I be dead?"
"Well, you are dead, but you certainly ain't in Hell." Frank said, sitting down next to him. The man opened his briefcase and pulled out a file marked "McDonald, Lindsey".
"My permanent record?" Lindsey asked, pointing to the file.
"Bingo. You did cause quite a few problems on Earth. There's a lot of blood on your hands, and many crimes listed here. You were touch and go for a long time. But, your decision to help Angel eliminate the Black Thorn clinched it. The verdict is that you won't be sent to Hell, but you still fall short of gainin' access to Heaven. So, you've been sent here."
"Where's here?" Lindsey asked, looking around the huge place and noticing a few things. For starters, instead of incoming or outgoing flights, the boards listed names of people. He also noticed there was no place to pick up or drop off luggage. He saw lots of people, but everybody seemed to be arriving and nobody was waiting to leave. And, weirdest of all, he could see out the windows there were no airplanes or runways.
"This is Elysian, it's a limbo. It's a place for people who can't get sent upstairs or downstairs. It's not as nice as Heaven, but you'll still have a more or less happy existence." Frank said, putting away the file.
"Uh huh." Lindsey said, digesting all this information. "So, what happens now?"
"Now we get you settled in. As your caseworker, I've been assigned to help you adjust to livin' here. Well, not livin' here exactly, but you know what I mean." Frank said standing up.
"My caseworker? What's that supposed to mean?" Lindsey asked following him.
"Everybody here is assigned a caseworker. I'm sort of your sponsor or your lawyer."
"They have lawyers up here?" Lindsey asked.
"Well, they let you in here, didn't they?" Frank asked, sardonically. "Now, let's get you home."
"I don't have a home." Lindsey said.
"You do now. Now come on, boy, eternity's a-wastin'." Frank said, heading towards the exit. Lindsey noticed the banners and signs around the place saying things like "Welcome to Elysian, enjoy your eternity!" They got outside and a line of limosines waiting at the street.
"Why all the limos?" Lindsey asked.
"All new arrivals get taken home in limosines." Frank replied. "We want 'em to start their afterlife with style."
The driver of the nearest limo got out and called "Are you Lindsey McDonald?"
"Yeah, that's me." Lindsey said, not knowing what to make of this.
"Well, climb in, son." The driver said. Lindsey looked at Frank, asking what to do.
"You heard him, get in." Frank said, opening the car door. "We have places to go, things to see."
"Thanks." Lindsey said getting in. Frank got in and shut the door and they were off. "By the way, just for future reference, what's your last name?"
"I don't have one." Frank said simply. "Angels don't need last names."
"Angels?" Lindsey asked, looking at his elderly "caseworker". "You don't look much like an angel. Where are your wings, halo and white bathrobe?"
"I bet you thought we were all little naked baby cherubs like in Hallmark cards too." Frank said dryly. "Ha, humans."
"Sorry." Lindsey said, looking out the window.
"Ah, forget it. I got over it eons ago. You enjoyin' the view?" Frank commented as Lindsey looked out the window. The place was like the quiet little town he grew up in, though without all the garbage. It looked like any other small town he'd seen on Earth, but there was just something… off. The whole place seemed brighter, the sky was clearer, the people seemed happier. Everything seemed more alive, which is odd since the population was dead. The limousine passed over a bridge and he looked out over the river. It was crystal clear, no bottles, beer cans, dead fish, plastic wrappers, pieces of paper or any of the pollution that filled the river in his old hometown. He saw people swimming, fishing and going out on boats. They looked like they were having the time of their afterlives. He turned his gaze to the forests beyond the town, full of tall green trees that he climbed as a child. And beyond the forest were mountains that seemed to beckon him to come climb them.
"This place looks awesome." Lindsey said, a little overwhelmed.
"It's OK I guess." Frank shrugged. Lindsey looked at the old angel with disbelief. "Oh it's beautiful all right, but once you've seen the splendor of Heaven, anythin' else kinda pales in comparison."
"Well, I could think of worse places to be stuck or eternity." Lindsey said, seeing a group of people playing a game of baseball.
"Well, there's a chance you won't be here that long." Frank said, which caught Lindsey's attention. "There is a chance for a promotion."
"Promotion?" Lindsey asked. "To Heaven?"
"Yep." Frank nodded. "See, people here can go back to their respective dimensions in the capacity of a guardian angel. Their caseworkers assign them to a mortal to watch over and they work to help the mortal. If they give enough service, they can be promoted to get in upstairs."
"Neat. So, where do I sign up?" Lindsey asked.
"Sorry, son, it don't work that way." Frank shook his head. "You don't choose to be a guardian angel, you get chosen to be one. See, with the promise of rewards, anybody can be convinced to do anythin'. The people have to really want change before they can be eligible. The Big Boss knows what happens in your hearts, and if a person here has become truly rehabilitated, only then can they become guardian angels."
"How long will that take?" Lindsey asked.
"Depends on the person. I've seen people here for only a day before getting' chosen, and I've seen people here for thousands of years before bein' chosen. There are also a few who will never be chosen, and just stay here forever. But as you said, there are worse places to be stuck for eternity." Frank said, patting the young man on the shoulder. Lindsey smiled, he was starting to like this guy.
"What exactly keeps the people here from being rehabilitated?" Lindsey asked.
"Once again, depends on the person. We're here." Frank said as the car stopped.
"We're at my new place?" Lindsey asked, a little excited.
"Yep, and there she is." Frank said as he and Lindsey stepped out of the limo. Lindsey stepped out and his eyes went wide. The house was a total wreck. The windows were smashed, the walls were worn, the walls were full of holes, and there was a large section of the roof missing.
"You're joking." Lindsey said, incredulously.
"Not at all, boy. Let's look inside, shall we?" Frank said smiling as they walked up to the door. He pushed the door open, and it fell off its hinges. When Lindsey got inside, his amazement increased. The floor was partially collapsed and full of holes. The walls were covered in water damage and the drywall was crumbling into dust. The beams were rotted and barley holding together the room.
"This is where I'm supposed to live?" Lindsey asked, stepping lightly so he didn't fall through the floor.
"Yep." Frank said, as if he hadn't a care in the world.
"But this place is a dilapidated shit shack!" Lindsey said, kicking a piece of spackle across the floor.
"No it's not! It's a fixer upper. Just like you." Frank said giving Lindsey a friendly slap on the back. "A little work and this place'll be livable in no time."
"So I'm gonna have to rebuild this place?" Lindsey said, surveying the wreckage.
"No, we're gonna have to rebuild this place." The angel said, walking back outside. "No way is this a one man job!"
"You're serious?" Lindsey called after his caseworker.
"Yeah! There's somethin' wonderful about workin' with your hands and building things." Frank said, returning with a tool kit. "It's very therapeutic."
"But this job could take forever." Lindsey said, hearing the floor creak as he walked towards Frank.
"Nah, time don't mean a thing here." Frank said pulling out a large hammer. "Besides, what's your problem? Don't tell me Mr. Big Shot Lawyer is afraid of a little work! How about that? He can be a lawyer, kill demons and declare war on Wolfram & Hart, but show him a hammer and nails and he turns into a big sissy. Ha ha!"
"Not a chance, Frank." Lindsey said, picking up a hammer. That's who this guy reminded him of, his uncle Matt. Always teasing him, and challenging him to get him to make something of himself. "But shouldn't we make a trip to Home Depot first?"
"Nah, we got all the stuff we need right outside." He said pointing to the window. And sure enough, in the yard were piles of lumber, tools and everything else needed to rebuild a house. "You'll see, boy, when we're finished with this place, you'll have the satisfaction of knowin' you built your own castle."
"Well then, Frankie, let's do it." Lindsey said, a little excited by this. He took the hammer from Frank and they started their work. 'All things considered,' Lindsey thought. 'I made out pretty good.'
To Be Continued.