In the Wind and the Snow
Usual disclaimers. Not for profit for fun.
Kanda receives a call from Lavi who is in Germany. It almost makes him smile, almost. The connection is a good one and he can hear Bookman Junior almost as if he's only in the next room, but they are not. The smile is fleeting is is soon upside down into a frown because it isn't often that they'd actually talk when they ARE together. Lavi would call him "Yuu," he'd threaten death, this would escalate into a trading of jibes and insults. Kanda supposes it's conversation after a fashion, because, Lavi is the only one he'd tolerate it from. Occasionally in the times in between, Lavi will whinge about how harsh Bookman is being on him for less than stellar penmanship, and Kanda might retort on the uselessness of finders, Lavi groans about latin grammar, Kanda vents about how one of Komui's robots tried to cut his hair. Every now and again, because Lavi gets tired of being cheery and smiling - a persona and not real - and Kanda tires of his own anger (self-loathing, but Lavi does not need to know that). Then in each other's presence they just are without being. It's sort of nice in a comfortable kind of way.
Whilst Lavi, Komui and Bookman see the death of Doug the Finder as tragic, Kanda feels that one of the better things that came from that is that Lavi seems less conflicted within himself. Old Bookman probably views that as the real tragedy. The elder always watching, judging. Judging and disapproving - no doubt.
With half an ear listening, Kanda is not even sure how he'd let the other get under his skin, and he swings from being fine with the situation and not, and oftentimes he wishes he can go back to a time before the Bookmen turned up and with them part of his neatly ordered life becomes all a shambles. It is - so much easier. Through a golem, to only give half an ear - conveniently unobservable. Wryly he is thinking about Lavi's eye. This describes them both; half-listening, half-focused and half-assed.
This time Lavi tells him that Lenalee was knocked out and Bookman had treated her using acupuncture so she should be fine even if she hadn't woken up yet and Komui is with them so they know she'll be ok. Komui must be really worried to leave his mountain of work back at headquarters. There's an almost imperceptible pause and Kanda knows that Lavi is sifting what he can and cannot say in his capacity as Bookman.
Lavi tells him about Allen, who was injured alongside Lenalee. It's the first time that they have met. He tells him that there was a concerted effort near the safehouse where they were attacked by a large force of Akuma, even within the supposed security of the location. Kanda is grateful for Lavi's paranoid nature (deepened further by his experience with Doug).
Lavi mentions making snowmen with Allen. Kanda, who's mostly silent through the exchange his brows knit close when the snowmen are mentioned. He huffs and growls across the line to tell him to not to be so damned frivolous and pay attention. Lavi laughs him off and tells him they're alright and they'll be back at the Order as soon as they can. Before they hang up, Lavi voice becomes serious.
"He's just still a kid," Lavi says solemnly.
"Tch," Kanda shakes his head, for a Bookman, Lavi sometimes feels-thinks too much.
"Yuu, you were right about 'im."
"Tch."
"He's all sun bright but the shadows he cast are dark. Dark."
"Idiot, shut up and go already," Kanda is not sure how it all works but he's certain un-sanctioned overuse of their golems are against Black Order rules or somesuch, and they don't do goodbyes anyway.
And no he's not upset that Lavi'd made snowmen without him, of course not don't be so ridiculous.
By the time they arrive at Headquarters, Kanda is grateful that he's had his meal. He's certain that he does not have the patience to handle both the Beansprout and the redhead just at the moment. Lenalee still unconscious is now lying peacefully in the infirmary. Komui will be visiting her intermittently, as much as his work would allow. Kanda decides to rest first as he has to go meet with Komui later, for details of his next mission.
Kanda is not a happy person at the best of times but it's ass o'clock and far, far too early to be awake. He is grumpy enough about having to go with Allen again, and actually the boy is tolerable insofar as long as he doesn't do anything stupid or get in the way or both. He's about ready to push off when he hears more voices. He face pulls a frown when he sees both Bookmen. His day can not get worse,he thinks, he hopes.
When they get on the trains, Lavi, Bookman and Allen share a seat and Kanda reckons it's safe enough for him to sit on his own further up front. It isn't a crowded train after all. He sits, Mugen cradled in his arms and lets the motion of the locomotive lull him into restful meditation. He doesn't sleep because it's too dangerous too. Moments later … and he knows, he knows Lavi is there. Kanda can feel Lavi's hands touch his hair. The touches are light, and the hold is loose, he suspects that he isn't suppose to awaken. He can feel the breathing quiet as it fu-fus into his hair, and its warmth tickles just a little. He inhales quietly, because the braid is nearly done with and he reckons it's time to put a stop to it.
He exhales and in a sudden movement jabs the intruder in the chest with his elbow.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
"Oh you're awake," they both knew he was, they're not kidding each other. Just to keep him on his toes, Kanda draws Mugen on him and slashes at the air centimetres from his nose, just because.
The train arrives at their destination and it's blowing a blizzard. Perfect, absolutely bloody perfect, which is to say it isn't. He can understand Lavi wanting to wait it out after all he does have Bookman to look to, who is probably not great with the extreme temperature even if he is a tough old curmudgeon. Kanda's noticed the elder is only cantankerous with Lavi only when there are people to see it. Kanda suspects they can sit in silences, much like they do sometimes, when nobody is watching and thinks it odd and not (at the same time) that their relationship with Junior is somewhat similar. Still, the waiting room is small and they are supposed to be on a mission and far be it for him to wait around so he opts to go on ahead.
When Walker questions the wisdom of his stubbornness, he bites back angrily even though he knows the kid doesn't deserve it. "If you want to wait around and build snowmen with the stupid rabbit be my guest," because no he isn't thinking of them building snowmen without him from before. "We're here on a mission!" With that he stalks off into the white without another word.
In the end they all follow suit, finder and all. But it's useless, there is nothing they can see in the billowing drifts and howling wind which have not abated. On top of that, they find a couple of stupid tourists - overcome by the cold - who're intent on finding some mystical Leaf of Revival. Kanda has no doubt that the Innocence has something to do with the crazy weather patterns Komui had informed them off as well as being that something mystical that some idiot is always looking for. However he goes on ahead, and lets the others take shelter for the night.
He spends the evening with the finder for company, he's tough and he will not let inclement weather get the better of him. It is all to no avail, however as they find nothing. But at least the weather lets up for the moment, and it's warm even. The next day they keep looking, they're deep in the forest now, and he wonders briefly how the others are doing. He doesn't have the time to wonder too long, the wind has picked up again and they both have to find shelter to wait out the sudden snowstorm. Soon after the storm dies down he hears the telltale whine and blast of Akuma and Innocence battling it out.
He sighs, no doubt someone will need rescuing. True enough, when he happens upon the duo, Allen has fallen and Lavi is cornered by three Akuma. Even worse, he can see the boy is torn between helping Allen and the stupid civilians who've obviously not given up on their fruitless quest.
"Mugen: Kaichuu Ichigen!"
"Yuu, making a fine entrance there!" Lavi proclaims appreciatively.
It's late and they're all by the fire indoors, Kanda avoids the general conversation and scowls deeply into the fire. He cannot help himself, wearing the mantle of anger, hurt, resentment and deep longing with a shitty thing like duty wrapping him up tight, warping into a second skin. It really is no business of his what others do. He just does what he's meant to, s'posed to and that's all he's ever known and he doesn't actually think too hard on his work ethic, because thinking too hard, leads the mind down those paths he would rather not visit too often. Being angry with the world is definitely a more commodious way of of thinking, of life and it gives him more room to brood in alone if that makes others stay away.
Sometimes though, just sometimes … like Lavi for instance. He tries everything, including death threats - and Bookman Junior is aggravating and vexing and Kanda enjoys immensely in insulting the redhead right back. Oft the swordsman wonders how much he can push. Again, thinking too hard brings nothing so he stands up gruffly, finding new motivation to make a move.
He's angry that the Akuma got away, he's angry that Lavi had to carry the damn beansprout back this night, he's angry that the mission is at a standstill because of the general idiocy of people around. "How pathetic!" He grouses aloud. Yes much easier to be angry.
The finder returns and Kanda decides he's just going back out again, this way he doesn't have to be surrounded by more idiocy and stupidity. He just goes, ignoring the arguing that ensues and he knows that Lavi will follow. He also knows Lavi knows the only way to draw out Akuma is to use themselves as bait.
They walk out into the snow and wind, footprints slowly being erased.
"This is an adventure yeah!" Lavi sounds almost relieved to be away from them. In spite of the howling wind and the sleet in their eyes.
"Shut up and walk"
"You're so mean Yuu," he can hear the frown - and pout even - in the redhead's timbre.
They're just under the trees and suddenly Kanda feels a tug on the collar of his coat and he's suddenly pushed against a trunk.
"Yuu, you're not still angry with me are you?"
"Don't be stupid and get off me." He shoves back, only halfheartedly. He's tired idiotic rabbit antics are not the things he needs to deal with at the moment.
"There's all this snow around, I'll make as many snowmen with you as you want."
"Don't be fucking stupid! There's Akuma trailing us, we're on a mission and in case you hadn't noticed you IDIOT RABBIT! It's a fucking blizzard"
"I know, Yuu," Lavi smiles at him, and there should be a law against the brightness in that eye, in the curve of those lips and inspiteofthesoddingblizzard the hands against his shoulders are warm and he can feel that warmth creeping up his cheeks and this time he really pushes against the other boy, worried about giving himself away too much, worried about giving in. Still, Lavi manages to press his lips to Kanda's, before he brusquely pushes away and stomps off once more into the wind. If his lips tingle it is because the wind is cold and unforgiving.
Re-focusing once - no thanks to the idiotic fucking rabbit which runs through his mind in mantra - more they arrive at the edge of the other side of the forest. He points to where it looks like there is a cave, and the wind seems the most strongly concentrated.
"Look there,"
"Yeah let's check it out."
"That's easier said than done stupid Rabbit!" Unfortunately, they cannot get near, the wind is just too strong.
"Well if it's only this distance," Lavi drawls, twirling his hammer, willing it to grow, as it gains momentum. Pointing the finial up to the sky above, he murmurs and chants "Moku Ban!" " Tenshil! Ban! Kai!"
A bright spear of red-ringed light shoots up into the swirling mass of wind and snow, and when the steam and fog clears, the moon shines bright in the sky so clear Kanda can see the stars. He allows himself to feel the awe of the moment. Altering and controlling the natural elements is one of Lavi's more elegant uses of his Innocence. Although the great iron and fire snake is pretty impressive too, loud and brash just like its wielder, but this, this is like Lavi in his quiet moments and Kanda can appreciate this too.
He takes point with Lavi behind him, and it's a kind of a comfort to know he's there. It beats being alone all the time. With only a little difficulty they manage to retrieve the innocence from the tree. Unfortunately they've been followed and the man refuses to give up on his dream of bringing his son back alive, and Lavi tries to talk sense into the man.
Kanda listens, because sometimes when Lavi speaks, he can be serious, and thoughtful as he is now. The undulating tones loses it grating drawl. A tale of how in some mysterious way the Innocence came to be in the tree because of it - thus retaining an unnatural everlasting evergreen, eventually a myth to grows up and surrounds it and that that is all it ever is. Enchanted though he is, this is no time to dally.
The Akuma are no doubt hot on their trail and Kanda has a score to settle with them before he considers the mission over.
The almost balmy weather that greets them outside is proof enough - for the Exorcists - that the haphazard extreme conditions were indeed caused by the Innocence, but Kanda is all the more wary of the idyll, and the Akuma show themselves exploding from under the snow.
"Hand over the Innocence," the voices are a tinny, metallic sound and completely lacking in humanity.
"Like as if we would!" They both readied themselves activating their weapons. Lavi was already drawing their fire even as he shouted it out, "Lure them over!"
"I'm on it Yuu!"
A practiced move they'd developed from being on missions together. Unfortunately, they'd only managed to bat two of them away, and unfortunately, the last Akuma thought that one body was better than three separate ones. They watched in sick fascination as the remaining Akuma ingested the other two to level up.
"She's as callous as you, Yuu," even if he is joking, Kanda resents it because he might threaten to visit death upon Lavi because he likes to think he is better than any Akuma.
Unfortunately That idiot MAN - babbling about bringing his dead son back, will they never learn - is not as swayed by Lavi's story (or voice) as had been hoped and is only waiting for the perfect moment to grab the Innocence. Kanda only forgives Lavi because he can hear the worry in his voice as they're both trapped by ice. But the Beansprout turns up in the nick of time and they decimate the Akuma, the three of them together. Is it a level two? Or is it a level three because it had leveled up? Kanda will have to include that in his report and Komui can categorise it for them.
Kanda decides that he's going on to headquarters on his own because he's had it up to his neck with everyone, their idiocy, his own, and especially stupid rabbits and he's so much better off alone. On his own. Besides he, they, don't do goodbyes, and the Rabbit might make good on his promise to make snowmen together. He's just about accepting of the fact that they make a fairly efficient fighting team. For the moment he can go back to being angry and resentful and solitary because life is simpler this way. There is much less confusion and definitely less of the brain going around in circles. He'll work on facing up to - making snowmen later. Much later. Maybe.
Fin
Notes:
Again I'm a day late - and I totally confused myself on Sunday - so yeah if your birthday was on the 8th Happy birthday, and on the 9th, the Little Red Dot where I live celebrated it's 51st National Day! *waves flag*
This kind of ran away with me (hence it's tardiness) and it still not as 'right' as I'd love it to be, but if I sit on it and get caught up in never ending self-torture of edits, I'd never post it, so. Plus forgive me I got mired in pronoun hell and tense befuddlement. I worked on it best I could. So apologies for absolutely everything basically. In spite of all that, I really do hope that someone somewhere likes this.
Inspiration came from the fact that in the anime I always thought that Kanda's remark about making snowmen seemed kind of random and out of left field (from the episode 'Leaf of Revival') but if you read the manga version of 'Coat' episode, aside from it being a lot darker than the anime, also has Allen and Lavi making snowmen just outside the safe house before they go on their walk, before they get attacked by all those Akuma.
And we know (because of course ^_~) Lavi and Kanda talk to each other.
Once again, a huge, huge thank you to everyone who reads my pieces. You're so loved - Zan
Part 9 of the 49 Days series