Jack's Return from Banishment— Prologue
A long and thin skeleton figure emerged from the darkness, stretching his hands. "It's been a long time," the skeleton, (to be specific) Jack Skellington of Halloweentown, said with a cat-like grin. "Who should we get first?" He asked his zombie wife at his side, Sally. "I don't know… maybe the snake thing that got us?" She suggested warily. Jack's grin only spread at this notion. "Sure!" His loud voice echoed throughout the moonlit valley, as the sun disappeared from the sky and the Toontown planet entered the night. "Time for a good fright," Sally and Jack said together, as they held hands and walked down the hill into the gates of Toontown.
WHERE OUR HERO WAS AT THIS TIME
I was sitting on my porch, with Superstition by Stevie Wonder blasting out of my newly-installed sound system. Handing a basket of naturally flavored sugar compacts, Schweetz Suckers and River o' Chocolate Bars to give free candy to kids was a relaxing way to spend the most evil day of the year. By now I'd expected someone, heck, ANYONE, to force me into battle; but thankfully that hadn't happened yet. I watched as the moon rose over the Tooniverse, which meant that my master, Bill Cipher, was on the prowl around Toontown City. House of Mouse, the most elite night club in the Tooniverse led by Mickey himself, was preparing a special event for Bill and other Tooniverse-renown villains, to commemorate the one night that they were allowed inside the city's gates.
Two figures entered the neighborhood, as I watched oddly from the edge of the street. Other characters in nearby houses went about their business, gladly handing younglings free candy and the like. Whilst watching these two, a youngling tapped on my shoulder. I nearly jumped, which made them laugh. "Trick or treat!" Stitch, not a youngling but a strange creature celebrity, said, as he widely grinned into my nearly startled face. "You got me," I responded, dropping a Schweetz Sucker into his handmade bag (Presumably by his best friend, Lilo). As Stitch, costumed as himself, crawled away, the figures' outlines became more visible. I watched as an impossibly slim creature held hands with a more lifelike one. Then, their bodies were illuminated by the streetlamp; I began to panic as I realized that the slim figure was none other than my evil ex-friend that I'd banished years ago, Jack Skellington!
Jack wasn't in league with the Griefers, thank goodness, but still the fact that he'd been able to come back from banishment meant that Jack held some SERIOUS power. Now, other characters began to realize who it was, but didn't panic. They just assumed it was Jack going into Toontown, not him going to get back at me after I banished him. All the while Jack's face was an unchanged grin; then, his bones cracked as Jack asked, "How's the team, Kw6?" I responded with another question, "How did you find me?" Then Sally blurted out, "Trouble isn't far behind you, mister snake. You made us very mad when you banished us to that BORING darkness. So now, we'll get our revenge." I said, "Be right back," dashing into my house, dropping the basket of candy on the spot (to the delight of some snooping younglings nearby…), and desperately searching for my dual P90s.
I began climbing the stairs of my house, their creaking sound echoing per usual. But unusually, the stairs were taking longer to climb than before. Instead of the stairs making a one hundred and eighty degree curve onto the second floor, they just continued. I didn't stop my pace for another three odd flights, and after the fourth I began to pant. Finally the tricks gave way and I crashed through the door, landing on my side inside the second floor hallway. I got up, patted my jacket, and then began walking down the hall. I could see its end, but was no closer to it than when I started; I broke out into a run, again, keeping my breathing in check. I looked back after thirty seconds and found out that the hall was literally running WITH me! Then the hallway begin to spin in circles, like the Twilight Zone's introduction. I stopped in my pursuit, pausing to catch my wild breath and surroundings. I turned to the side, and walked into a wall. I felt for a groove or texture on the wall, to no avail. Sliding my body against the same wall, I began walking forward. This trick actually worked! I'd stood there for a second, savoring my small victory, then twisted the doorknob to my bedroom. Rushing in and expecting another endless corridor I slammed full-force into my bed stand, causing it to flop to the side. I hastily opened the bottom cabinet and snatched my dual P90s, running back into the second floor hallway. But I was hit with a gust of cold air, and realized that I was somehow standing on my front porch.
"Looking for these?" Jack humorously asked, using his bony hands to spin MY dual P90s around in a dark, smoky haze. The ones I'd been wielding had suddenly vanished. Already gasping for air, I was not in good shape to battle an enemy. Who knew what Jack had up his skeleton sleeves, given his stretching stunt inside my very own house? "Look, I'm sorry I banished you, but I didn't want you to keep fighting me…" I tried to use diplomacy to my advantage, which I basically never did. Jack responded, "Well, I can't have creatures slithering around behind my back and telling them all my secrets, can I?" I slapped my forehead, then Sally spoke up; "Honey, you should calm down. There's a pretty nice restaurant near here that has a killer deal for villain celebrities, and I thin-" But alas, Jack had other plans than to make both of our lives easier… "The only thing I find killer is Kw6! We should banish him!" roared Jack.
So much for a heroic battle— I, instead of charging at Jack himself, hightailed it into the street. Cars honked and stopped on the road as I ran for my sanity, leaping over some benches and darting into the city park. I heard the roar of Jack not too far off, hopefully having lost him from my detour. Then I hid in a canopy of trees, panting, and sweat running down my face. I've learned to love the cold weather coming from the Frozen Wastelands, but it was NOT my friend tonight. Peeking out of the trees I saw two high beams dancing across the sky; and speakers planted across the park boomed, "Tonight, let's prepare a warm welcome for all of the villains and villainesses at the House of Mouse! Mickey's putting on a special show to commemorate this spooky Halloween night, and it's sure to give you a fright. See ya real soon!" Wheels began turning in my head as I formed a ballistic plan, one that might anger Mickey and screw up his show, but would get Jack out of my hair… probably forever.
MY MOST IDIOTIC PLAN TO DATE
My plan involved the House of Mouse, a lot of good timing, and the hope that an annoyed professional mage villain would zap Jack and make him gone forever. To sum it up; I was basically going to lead (read: bait and run away from) Jack and maybe Sally into the House of Mouse, get them to annoy everyone inside hopefully urging a dark wizard to get rid of the pair and all would be well again.
As I was in the park, I began to grow scared. Jack's slim body could hide just about anywhere, and could leap out and get me right now! Realizing this I darted into the sidewalk, but furious Jack pounced on me from behind a hedge, causing me to have to suppress a scream. I wrestled with his bony hands, until Jack's arm snapped off and I was able to run like the wind to the park exit. The bait had been lured!
Jack paused to reattach his arm, then pursued his prey onto the busy Toontown street. I changed directions into a small alleyway, beginning to climb the wall onto the top of a building. However, Jack emerged from the side of a neighboring building like a spider would climb a wall. "HERE'S JACKY!" He cruelly laughed, leaping onto the roof and crawling toward me. I picked up an air vent pipe, ripping it off of its tube, and smacked it into Jack's legs. Only a flimsy one broke off, buying me more extra time to escape. But he'd be gaining proximity on me evermore, yet thankfully the House of Mouse club wasn't very far away. I could see its beams continuing their dance across the sky, so I headed towards them in a rushed manner. I slowly climbed down a building's exterior, hitting impact on the street and on the sidewalk running. More cars honked and stopped. Finally, I made it to the House of Mouse club and forced the doors open to a disgruntled Donald the duck chauffeur.
I peeked over the balcony and down into the rows of tables below table. At a table near the stage was Bill, who was unknowingly about to experience the worst House of Mouse Halloween Event to date. "Crap!" I whispered under my breath. But then, Jack burst through the front door with Sally running in after him, trying to calm her enraged husband down. Jack spotted me and rampaged. Using my enhanced reflexes as an immortal, I quickly ducked to the side and caused Jack to sail through the crowd, crumpling onto the stage. The House went quiet, as most of the audience and Mickey studied Jack. "I guess we have a special guest tonight… and he's a bonehead!" Mickey improvised. The normal drums that accompanied Mickey's jokes didn't even play, creating an awkward silence. Just then something grasped around my waist and pulled me up, revealing themselves to be Sally; she screeched, "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT MAKING JACK ANGRY!" I was flailing around aimlessly, trying to slip out of the zombie's grasp. I was able to only lift an arm, and balled it into a fist. I caught Sally off guard, slamming it into her head and causing it to… roll off her body?! Then, I reminded myself that she was merely a zombie and could reassemble her body anytime. Sally began screaming again, this time incoherently, as she dropped me onto the ground and searched for her head. I got up quickly, trying to slide away from her; but Jack had already gotten me cornered.
I looked to the side, suddenly noticing that all eyes in the room were on me. I waved hello, but was tackled by Jack instantaneously. I kept rolling to the side as his bony hands kept trying to smash my skull open. "A LITTLE HELP?" I yelled to the crowd. Instead, the crowd just cheered and the laugh track played. I jerked myself further to the right, dropping down the stairs and rolling through the aisles. Suddenly, I hit a table and stifled an "OW." Jack's enraged footsteps boomed throughout the room, even louder than the applause of the crowd. Obviously they thought this was some sort of Halloween stunt, to my dismay. "HE'S LITERALLY GOING TO KILL ME!" I screamed over the applause, forcing it into silence.
All the villains leaned in, to hear what Jack and I were going to say. I tried to rise to my feet as Jack stormed up to me, standing on his tippy bones to appear very intimidating. I tried to hide my fear, smirking right into his scowl. Then I had an even more idiotic idea than the last; I started tapping my feet and humming to Superstition, then broke out into song, "Very superstitious… writing's on the wall. Very superstitious… ladder's about to fall," I then hummed the rest because those were the only lyrics I knew. Mickey signalled to a sound control tech in the booth and the tech began playing Superstition. I continued stomping my feet, and some villains in the crowd did as well. Thankfully, this confused Jack and Sally a lot. Dancing ensued.
A DANCE PARTY? ON HALLOWEEN?!
Without my faithful P90s, the only thing that kept me safe was the dance party. I hadn't danced in years! Thankfully, Puss in Boots, a mentor from years past, had taught me the art of dance fighting. I used this edge against Jack, who was charging towards me like a bull to a matador. I swung my "red cape" in a T pose (NOTE: Sorry everyone, I had to add that…) and caused Jack's skeletal body to fly apart on impact with the stage. Some villains sneered at my dance move, but I ignored that and handed an L to Jack— in style. Then Sally, who'd surprisingly gotten her head back, slapped me across the head. I used her momentum to cartwheel on the floor, rising back up and turning around. Then, I jumped as she tried to hit me again and kicked her into an unhappy villain's face. Jafar, who was also at unnamed villain's table, used his staff to zap Sally. One down, another to go.
I began jamming to the groove of Superstition, as Jack reassembled himself slowly but surely to avenge his rebanished wife. Most of the villains in the room were dancing with me, as were Mickey and Minnie. Jack then lunged at me, tackling me onto the floor for the umpteenth time. He lost his ribcage in the process, because I punched through it. His limbs began involuntarily moving to the beat, giving me some much needed wiggle room to squirm around and get Jack zapped. I knocked off one of Jack's limbs, letting me stand up and lift Jack's skull off of the ground. A snap ensued as Jack's screaming, enraged head was pulled off of his body and demanded to be put back. "Goodbye, old pal," I muttered to my skeletal foe, and tossed him onto the stage. "Somebody zap him!" I hollered, pointing at Jack. The Evil Queen's quick reflexes and expert wizardry caused Jack's entire body to disappear in a flash and a loud bang.
The majority of the crowd began applauding Mickey, cheering, "GREAT SHOW!", "LOVED THE ACT!" Or if they were really impressed, "I WANT THE SNAKE'S AUTOGRAPH!" I jumped onto the stage, taking the microphone. I draped my hand over it, emitting a loud shriek that got everyone's attention. "Hey everyone. My name's Kw6. What you just saw there, was NOT an act. Jack Skellington literally came back from the dead to get revenge on me. And I just defeated him through the indirect power of music. Now that I'm saying it, that sounds really stupid. An-" Mickey snatched the microphone from me, responding, "Yuuup. And I hope you enjoyed the show, everybody! Kw6 will be signing autographs and posing for photos in the front of the building, and we'll see you real soon! Bye!" I took the microphone from him, and said, "Wait no! I'm not signing au-" but then, the microphone's audio cut out with an angry tech staring me down from his booth. Mickey muttered to me, "You will if you want to not get in trouble for this." That was enough to shut me up, and so he led me to a secret exit point ad onto the street. A long line of villains and villainesses was forming, with their selfie sticks, cameras and cell phones out and ready to snap my picture. Some held autograph books too. I groaned, feeling real sympathy for Mickey, as I now knew the pains of being a popular character in the Tooniverse.
AFTER THE FACT
I had been chilling in my house for the past half hour, watching an old, cheesy "horror" movie— Night on Bald Mountain— in my living room. I'd been tired out by the annoying villains and villainesses screaming in my ears and flashing cameras in my eyes for the last hour and a half, so I was beside myself at the opportunity to go back home. I like to say that Mickey just deemed Night on Bald Mountain a horror movie because Chernabog is the one being he is actually afraid of. In the midst of my relief, my doorbell rang. I paused my movie, put down my popcorn, and hastily snatched some candy bars from my fridge. Opening it, I was very pleasantly surprised to find my nephew, Skales Jr., standing on my porch with Skales by his side!
"Hey guys," I said, grinning all the while. "What makess you ssso happy?" Skales asked. I responded, "In short, that skeleton Jack came back from our banishment and tried to kill me. We busted into the House of Mouse, had a dance party, and he got vanquished." Skales smirked. Then, Skales Jr. piped up, "REALLY? Why couldn't we have gone with him, daddy?" I patted my nephew's head, chuckling, "Well buddy, I guess when you're a tad older. Also, I love your costume! Is that… Luke Skywalker?" I cocked my head at Skales Jr., trying to guess his costume. Obviously, his mother and him had put a lot of work into it. Then, Skales Jr. responded, "It's Starfarer! Cool right?" I cocked my head. And so Skales translated this for me, in the form of, "A comic book character." "What does he do?" I asked my eager nephew. "He's super awesome! He finds these rare artifacts, flies a sick ship, and fights evil bad guys!" Skales Jr. explained. Skales responded with a nod to me, "Well, I might know a real life version of Sstarfarer…" and pointed out back to where my ship was parked. Sadly Skales Jr. was blissfully unaware of who Skales could've been describing. "Do you mind if we come in? To sstay for the night?" Skales asked me. I was so happy! "ABSOLUTELY, YOU CAN!" I exclaimed, overjoyed at the chance to reunite with my family after a terrible Halloween night. Skales Jr. began jumping up and down with excitement, causing the porch to creak; Skales hustled him inside, and us two shared a quick discussion while Skales Jr. unzipped his Starfarer-themed sack and got out some comics to read on the couch. "Sso, Ssselma will be in ssoon… sshe's out ssshopping at ssome of the Toontown fassshion sstores. I told her we'd be ssstaying here," Skales told me. I asked, "Did you guys go to a restaurant? Toontown has a lot of good ones with discounts right now, but if you're hungry I can order us a pizza." Skales Jr. yelled, "PIZZA?!" I walked over to my nephew, and told him, "If you promise to keep the yelling down for the rest of the night, I'll maybe order one. Have your mum and dad gone to dinner yet?" Skales Jr. nodded, saying, "It was delicious." Skalds came over and explained, "You've already had the kid'ss pizza pan. Ssso no more pizza for tonight, okay?" Skales Jr. groaned. "But you can have the rest of my popcorn," I interjected abruptly, and handed my wonderful nephew my half-eaten bowl of popcorn. He picked up a kernel, popping it in his mouth, and spit it out. "Where's the cheese?" Skales Jr. asked, to my confusement. "He meanss, where isss hiss cheesse sseasssoning?" Skales translated for me, again. I dashed into the kitchen, throwing open a cupboard, and pulling out my rarely-used cheese seasoning shaker, sprinkling a decent portion onto the popcorn. Then, Skales Jr. dug in and sat down on the couch, resuming the reading of his Starfarer comics. I turned off the television and popped out the Night on Bald Mountain disc, putting it in my CD collection cabinet. I settled into my living room recliner for a much-needed night of relaxation and relatives, being glad that I wasn't fighting Jack or the Griefers again.
THE END